Monday, May 2, 2016


I am so going to take a moment here and totally brag on my man. Dude has been a super hard worker. These last few years was just a big ol' huge leap of faith. That and there was that whole didn't have a choice thing going on. Minor detail. It wasn't easy jumping to a totally different career, but he did it. And in spite of all the oppositions, the bad pay at the beginning, it has paid off.

He has always been a crazy hard worker, so it was no surprise that he's done very well on all his reviews. Some have been so glowing with praise we about hung them in the hallway and used them for nightlights. Not even joking. The comments were just shy of gushing but lots of comments about how inspiring his hard work has on the place. While I already knew that about him, it was really nice to see people appreciate just how good he is at things. He just has this way of calming down situations without even trying. He always manages to calm my crazy self down. I'm now sure how he uses those Jedi tricks, but he's really good at it.

So it should come as no surprise that he just snagged the supervisor position of all the pharm techs in the hospital. It was quite the interesting turn of events. Couple of years ago the supervisor position opened up and several people, including high ranking people at the hospital, suggested he apply for it. He tossed his hat in the ring and while he didn't get it, the guy they went with was really impressive on paper. In marches reality and the guy turned out to be, and I quote, a fiasco, and ended up getting fired right around the holidays. The department has limped on with mainly Fred stepping in and filling in all the gaps. He's caught several mistakes and a couple huge ones that saved the hospital's bacon.

They opened up the supervisor position but it was in-house only. We had to pray hard about this because there were a few situations between co-workers that reminds you of schoolyard junk - from elementary school. There has been a lot of good enough attitudes and sloppy stuff that did makes us wonder if he really wanted to tackle it. Management can be a weird combo of babysitting and trying to heard cats. After a lot of praying, felt like he was supposed to do it. I joked that I bet once they got his application, they were going to shut it down and say, "We got who we wanted,"

Turns out I was right.

He was apologized to for not being given the position the first go around. Whoa! We knew he had a shot but didn't know he was that strong of a contender. Wow! I so wish he would let me copy what the announcement said about him. Glowing! And some of the congratulatory emails from high ranking people he got were really impressive. This is a pretty big deal. He's had some high ranking people stop by his office - yeah - to congratulate him and everyone is excited to see what he'll do with the department. It really was one of those God timing things. Having worked in the department, he knows what needs fixed, knows all the ins and outs, and everyone likes him.

I am beyond proud of him! We've had a lot of hard years, and he has had some really crappy bosses over the years too. Lot of people have underestimated him and have looked down their noses at him. Of course, I'm usually standing behind him flipping them off, but let's not go there. It's been frustrating to know how awesome he is and to see how many times people have blown him off for whatever reason. For him to get this opportunity is pretty awesome. He already completed a project that they gave him a month to do because he's just that awesome. He said he hasn't had to use this part of his brain in a long time so he's having to shift gears. I think he's the right man for the job. Lot of people respect him. There isn't one person there he hasn't helped. He isn't asking people to do anything he hasn't done himself repeatedly. I think the administration part is down right giddy to have a new sheriff in the department. Because if people think that nice guy Fred is going to let their lazy carcasses get away with things, they better buckle up because the storm is about to go down.

If all that awesomeness wasn't enough, he helped me freshen up the powder room. When we walked through this house, the lady had it decorated really cute. Once she left and we got it, I pretty much can't stand the shade of every wall. It's been slow going, but we're making progress. But I'm not sure why I decided to do this right before the in-laws came out for a visit. Maybe their visit gave me the needed push to get it done, or maybe it's because my mom offered to come help sometime next week that got me in gear. Who knows? *cough,cough*

I got it all painted in time for their visit and he has got a few more finishing touches to do and it'll be complete. He spent his day off getting the oil changed in the guys' car, helping me with several errands, we had to take back the new faucet because it wasn't working, got all that done and reinstalled, and then worked 2 back to back doubles over the weekend. How he survives all the craziness of life and acts likes it's no big deal is beyond me. But I'm so very grateful that he does and am amazed by him! *gush*

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Mama Bear And Warrior Princess

All rolled into one. Thankfully, that doesn't have to read: I might need an alibi or bail money. Last couple of months have just been brutal on all kinds of levels. I've had mama bear on high alert for different situations with all 3 guys, but there isn't anything I can do about it. This leaves the grizzly old gal to slap a tiara on her head and go into prayer warrior mode with all the fierceness of a ticked off bear. Even if she is rocking that tiara.

Just saying.

This stage I'm smack dab in the middle with my guys is taking a lot out of me. Not in a bad way, it's just all so uncharted and at times frustrating. I think it's frustrating because I can't make a dang thing happen. I have to sit back with all my crazy mama bear instincts and use the warrior princess mode to beat the she-beast into prayer. Because it takes a warrior to fight off mama bear instincts. I didn't realize was how much strength it really takes to pry your hands off and let go.

I think what has been so hard with this stage of adult children is trusting their relationship with God. Are they really hearing from Him correctly or is this fear pushing them off course? That's been a huge challenge. I think I've navigated it with all the grace of a wounded hippo on heels. Ain't purdy. And if they catch me at the wrong time of the month? Carnage. Lots of carnage.

Michael has a manager from hell. The things this guy has said to my son has me taking practice swings with a baseball bat to get warmed up. However, I think I'm more upset about it than he has been. I wanted him to go to HR and get moved but dude said he really feels he's right where he's supposed to be at. It rattled him, but it stretched him. We prayed and stood on some scriptures for 2 months, every day, and finally the angry guy has backed off. Yesterday he even attempted to be nice.

Shout out to the couple of people that talked me off the ledge! And while I joked I wanted to knee-cap the manager, I really appreciate having someone else to tell me to calm down. Fred gets tired of it and we both know I'm only going to kinda listen.

Extra bonus, Michael has been praying everyday for the company and they've hit quotas left and right, and their safety numbers are looking good. I still don't like this manager, and have thought about making him some special ex-lax brownies, but couldn't come up with a way for it to get just the stinky manager without it nailing other people.

What? I'm not THAT spiteful. *ahem!*

While all of that was going on with him, Nicholas was getting kind of clobbered. First month he was helping my dad, no problem. Second month, horrible headaches on his days off, was super grouchy, and didn't feel great. I was doing my bible study when it dawned on me that he needs to fight it and not agree with it. Sure enough, he started praying against that and the headaches and exhaustion went away. This last month, however, he just wants to be done. I can't blame him at all. Jared doesn't want to help my dad at all anymore either.

My folks. Well, let's just say they are rather pushy. Not to mention beyond delusional. My dad is pushing himself too much. He got light headed last week at the show. He said it felt very much like what happened in December. Not happy to hear that. This is stressing my mom out, which doesn't help that whole stroke thing. They both were saying they think Nicholas can go do the shows himself so they can spread themselves out. It's comments like that that really piss me off. N has said repeatedly he doesn't like selling and that he is only doing this so dad can get back on his feet physically. To have my dad try to get him to do more than he is already doing irritates me.

Dad thinks the guys don't do enough, has even made comments here and there that sound like he thinks they are lazy and therefore he needs to push them harder since I won't - according to him. That's usually when that mama bear takes off the tiara and says, "say that again, I dare you." The grace for it is gone and I can tell dude's whole attitude about everything has soured. Since he's gone on the weekends, him and I go to church on Wednesday nights and we had a long talk about mainly his prideful attitude and how fear was creeping in there as well. Next day, he applied to a few more places, which is nothing short of a miracle because he's been so discouraged and busy that he hadn't put much effort into changing the situation.

I'll leave off how many blow ups we've had over it, the ranting texts I've sent Fred telling him to do something with his son or I'm shipping him to Siberia, and stuff like that. Because that might just taint that picture perfect family imagine we have going on. Bahahaha! Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

I hope something opens up for N real quick. We've all had enough of it for different reasons. I know how my folks can be and I shudder for him. Time for a shift. I'm also having to shift some gears. Jared just wrapped up back to back fencing lessons. He really liked it. I think he liked the epee better than the foil which it's a different type of sword. I couldn't tell you much more than that as I wasn't always paying attention. I'm just happy he's done and he'll be finished with all his schoolwork and will be on summer break before the month is done. Then I'll drag him to go get his driver's permit, and then proceed to talk to God about the rapture and how soon He can make that happen.

Although God is tossing me for a loop here. Just got back from the Homeschool Convention. Had a blast! But was sort of tossed something I'm still mulling over. It's sort of like hey you should do this and I'm like wait, what? Um, no. No thanks. I suck at it anyway, but thanks for thinking of me. I'll see how long I can get away with that before God gets after me. I'm still trying to get caught up on laundry and sleep that I desperately need. So I'll leave off with a mysterious air of a slight possibility of.....something.
But more blog post should be happening soon-ish. Maybe. After I go hibernate for a while, because that's what bears do.

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

When December Turns Into Nothing But A Blur

And you realized that January is trucking right along! My folks' health scares were enough to keep me hopping, but life doesn't always give you just one round of things to deal with at a time. That almost sounds fair and according to Fred - fair is a four letter cuss word!

Had one kid get hosed on a job and the other one take a job at FedEx with a shift starting at the butt crack of dawn. And oh happy day! The brakes went out on their car the day he started. This, of course, has left moi to be taxi. At the butt crack of dawn. Because when the chips hit the trail, it is mom to the rescue.

God bless her little heart.

Her sleep deprived little heart.

And by her, I mean me. Please, God, bless me! My eyes have been extra heavy with not enough sleep. How is it twenty years later and these turkeys are still causing me to be sleep deprived?!?

It's been super weird too because everything has been either in slow motion or super sonic speed. I've had these moments where I'm about ready to go all Sunrise, Sunset. I think the first time I dropped Michael off at work, he suddenly looked like he was 6 years old. It probably didn't help that the work coat we got was a few sizes too big, so it looked like he was wearing his daddy's coat. I told this to the guys and they all started laughing at me saying I must be sleep deprived and what a hoot I am.

Yeah, haha - so funny. Totally hilarious. *gulp!* I think I have issues.

Plus, he's discovered the joys of a lazy co-worker and getting to share the blame because someone refuses to be a team player. When he was telling me about this, I about turned around and ran the guard shack to hunt the manager down. Like I said, I have issues. I wouldn't really have done it. It's just that the thought was right there, my foot might have hovered over the brake pedal, and it's possible my hands did tighten up on the wheel. It's not like I was ready to go full blown hickerbilly, but I just slightly thought about it. But kudos to him as he said he refused to be offended and totally cast that care over to God. He said he can tell it's a test and he is determined to pass it.

He is a much wiser person than I could ever hope to be.

All this driving back and forth in the wee hours just happens to be when Fred's schedule is all 2nd shift. So if I want to see him, I got to stay up late. Then I'm getting up at a time that no person should be up by, get out the door, come back home and try not to pass out on the couch while I wait. Since it's a by load type of shift, they have no idea how long the shift is going to last. There have been a few times he was already done and had to text me to come get him. We both usually head back to bed when we get back. I try to force myself up so I have a chance to see Fred before he goes off to work and then finish off the day in a zombie like phase.

We've had so much stuff going on that it took us a while to get their car in to get fixed. We've been taking their car and he's been driving there but he's still concern about driving back home because he's worn out and sore. We got hit with some snow so this has been some extra time for me to instruct him on driving in snow. He's about ready to take over. Just took him a while to get his confidence up, juggle a new schedule, and get his body used to all the heavy lifting. We all sort of laugh. Michael is the shortest one of the group, but dude has these arms of steel. Jared tossed something at him and said, "Hey biceps, open this for me."

So while M's been tackling that, the guy that got hosed on a couple jobs has ended up being a huge blessing all the way around. He got strung along with a couple places while they were trying to get approval from corporate to higher more people. Don't even get me started on that and according to a couple of managers I used to work for, it happens a lot. Corporate didn't give approval and one thing after another fell through. I have been so frustrated for him I could spit. Granted, not very well, but the angst was there. He, on the other hand, has maintain his peace and has covered for his brother who's been flat worn out. Then he shocked all of us and has been a huge help to my dad selling BBQ products, driving him everywhere, and doing all the heavy lifting. He's outsold my dad twice and my dad can sell snow to a polar bear! Dude doesn't enjoy it but has done this out of his heart to help my dad.

I really feel like he is positioning himself for some serious blessings. My dad is stubborn and will not slow down. This one can give him a run on stubbornness and it's kind of funny to see them together. While dad is getting better, he is still pretty weak. That first weekend, dad admitted he never would have made it without Nicholas' help. (We all told him it was too soon and he didn't want to hear it.) It's been a huge peace of mind that Nicholas is doing this for him. He was saying if anything would have happened he wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt because he could have helped but didn't want to do it. He is doing it unto the Lord and says he can tell it's forcing him out of his shell. I wasn't even aware he was ever IN a shell, but dude has committed to helping his grandpa until the right job comes along. Which causes me to have a lot of mixed emotions.

It's moments like this that I look at them and think dang! You guys are better adults than I am. And then there are times they do something really stupid and I think it's going to take a miracle for them to get it all together. I can say, they have way, way more brilliant, intelligent, and very deep spiritual insight with different circumstances than the brain farts, so there really is hope.

And I need to cling to that hope especially when dealing with Jared, because da boy is nothing but a walking cloud of brain farts lately. He has had a few days where his attitude smells just as bad as a fart too. I know it's a stage, I have been here before. I just don't like this stage, nor its know-it-all attitude.

If that isn't enough to make me sigh - a deep sigh that wants a bag of chocolate and a room all to myself - he's starting to study for his driving permit. While he won't take it till spring, just knowing that it's lurking out there, like a dark cloud looming off in the horizon ready to rain all over my happiness doesn't help. Plus, I'm putting him in a beginner's fencing group, because I apparently thought arming long arms with a sword was a good idea. The older guys keep telling me I'm nuts, but after surviving all the music stuff with them, I guess I'm looking for a change of pace. I'm hoping it'll burn off some of his squirrelly energy. If he comes at me with another flying tackle, I'm refusing to come out of my room. He loves to just hop on Fred's back with no warning. It truly is a miracle that Fred keeps his balance and hasn't crashed into anything. I'm still waiting to hear back if there is a spot open. Classes start in a few days and if he's in, my schedule has officially gone to psychotic stage.

I might get sleep sometime in the summer.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

And Here I Thought I Was Tired

Turns out I am flat out exhausted! I think last week's crisis has settled down. I'm right now up to my eyeballs with this week's idea of how to mess with me.

Actually, it's been more than a week but at this rate, I can't keep up! My dad had finished doing a craft show selling the BBQ sauce when he fell over dead. Seriously. He had to be shocked twice to get his heart starting again. It was thought that he had another heart attack but to make a long story short, his heart had a brain fart and his whole body shut down. I'm going to take this moment and say you hear all the evil that is out there and you sometimes wonder is God even paying attention. Let me tell you, YES, HE IS!

Dad had just finished up, was minutes away from getting behind the wheel and heading off to the next show on his busy schedule. He said he started feeling lightheaded and sat down and the next thing he remembers was waking up Sunday morning in a hospital. However, he JUST so happened to be in a room with other vendors who turned out to be a nurse, an EMT, a fireman, and a police officer was on site. A room full of total strangers came together and helped someone out in need. People finished loading up his van for him, another one called my mom, and everyone rushed him to the hospital. They said he was a local celebrity from all the commotion it caused.

It was bad. And we are all convinced if they would have had to call 911 and waited, there would have been no bringing him back. His BP was so low they couldn't give him any meds. Anytime they gave him anything stronger than Tylenol he crashed on them. He was in Ohio and mom rushed to be by his side while Fred and I went to packed up the other show he was supposed to be at. We were going to head to the hospital the next day and drive dad's van back to their place and see what all mom needed done.


Got a phone call from the hospital about 2:30 am. that my Mom almost passed out on them. She was white as a sheet and had slurred speech so they sent her to the ER. I said good call as she has had a history of stroke.

Dad in ICU and Mom in ER. These people! I swear I am ready to commit them some place!

I felt bad because I only woke up one kid to let him know what was going on, and then Fred and I were out the door to make a 3 hour drive. I should have woke them all up and let them know what was going on. Not everyone saw the note we left so there was some panic with J until he found out what was going on. Bad call on my part.

Added bonus! We ran into heavy fog the last half hour of the drive. Turned out Mom was fine, she didn't eat, didn't drink water, and was on her feet for over 5 hours with dad. They had her back up in his room before we got there. Thankfully Sissy and her mom had drove up to see them thinking we were going to be there. They sat with them and she text me updates. At one point my mom told her to text me everything is fine to relax. I told Sissy to tell her to bite me. I guess she handed to phone over to my mom who cracked up laughing at it and all the nurses decided they loved me and couldn't wait till I got there.

I got to boss the crap out of my mom. It was glorious!

I will say in her defense she didn't really have the time to eat or drink. Dude was in a lot of pain and was thrashing around a lot. They had to strap his hands down as he had pulled on every tube. They were using his right leg's main artery so that leg had to be in a brace to keep him from moving. We had to fight with his left leg as it want to bang into the right leg knocking out the port as that would be really bad. So for 5 hours straight mom had to keep wrestling with his leg, needless to say it wore her out. He was out of it. It was the body just responding out of the shock and pain. Plus he was trying to find a comfortable position.

Once I got there I took over the wrestling match with dad's leg and let her sleep. Fred was smart, he found a recliner in the ICU waiting room that folded out flat and he slept for 5 hours. I think I got 1 hour of sleep. He did most of the driving all day so I was glad he was somewhat rested.

I have had everyone texting me asking me if I'm freaking out. Nope. I haven't even shed a tear. I'm fine. At this stage, it was his 3rd attack. I know the lingo, I know what they are concern about, I know what they are aiming for. Got it. So I just roll with the punches on what needs to get done now and what needs to get done next.

Fred was checking out all the meds they had him on and was explaining what meds was for what and what it should do. We drove dad's van home the next day and got mom a change of clothes. When we came back, Fred noticed right away his BP was up saw all the new bags of meds and asked why they were giving him antibiotics. The lungs had too much fluid in them and got pneumonia in both lungs. I'm not sure they told mom that or not - she seemed surprised Fred figured it out.

I had to dragged mom down to the cafeteria a couple of times to get her something to eat. She kept saying she wasn't hungry and I kept saying I didn't give a rat's @$$ she was going to eat anyway to keep her strength up. I said if I get another phone call because she was being stupid, I was going to return with my angry eyebrows and I was taking over. She started laughing and so did the nurses. Mom looked at them and asked if she had a choice and they said nope. I've asked her everyday if she's eaten anything and what she has had to eat. She needs to eat more protein. Which is flipping hilarious because she was just going off about grandma when they were down for Thanksgiving about not eating right and here she's doing the same thing.

The irony was rather thick. So much so, that I told mom she was acting like her MIL. If looks could kill.

It took a few days for him to get transported back to Indiana with his heart doctor. Was really happy when he was off the ventilator. His doctor was not happy with him. He wanted to insert a defibrillator pacemaker back when dad has his heart attack 3 years ago. My folks both said the doctor didn't tell them the odds, I guess with his condition every year increases his risk of having another heart attack. His heart was down to functioning at only 15% and my dad tends to over-dos things.

I took the guys up to see him the day before they did the procedure with the pacemaker. I think Jared needed to see him to make sure everything was okay. Nicholas teased him that if wanted them to come visit he could have just asked. That got a round of chuckles. We took mom out to eat and I made her eat.

Talked to them today and they are just both worn flat out. I can imagine! She said she has no energy to do anything. Dad said last night was the first night he got to sleep in his bed and slept all night. I think he had to have his arm in a sling and had to be elevated for a few days. Sounds like they are on the mend.

Wished it wouldn't have happened, but relieved that even though it was a crazy mess to go through, glad the right people were at the right place at the right time. Very grateful for Fred helping me juggle everything. Couldn't have done it without him. We had to rush back home to get a guy to an interview and he was off to work. I got a few days to chill and then it was on to the next round of stuff to deal with because the craziness continues.

I could use some of that Peace on Earth right about now. I got to take a guy into work for training at 2 a.m. and then pick him up around 5:30 seeings how the brakes went out on their car today. But of course it did! Grr!

Saturday, November 28, 2015

You Know I'm Tired When...

All I can do is shrug my shoulders at this point if you can even see the blog straight. Let's just say I wrestled with this thing waaay longer than I had intended and now I'm totally over it. The banner and the background don't want to line up and play nice.

I'm now at the official whatever stage.

That could just be George talking. Then again this caused a deep level of angst to rise up and throw things. So far the eye twitch is talking me out of throwing the keyboard, so there's the one and only happy thing going for me right at this moment.

Welp. We survived Thanksgiving. I hope you all - ya'll - whatever - had a wonderful time. My dad was in a good mood, grandma was hanging in there, and mom raided my books. Fun was had by all. Fred managed to score some overtime so we won't start decorating until Monday. I don't like it when Thanksgiving falls at the very end of November. I feel like the Christmas decorations don't get enough time to fully annoy me so that I am properly motivated to pack them all away.


The guys have gone through another round of interviews and fingers crossed they both may have finally snagged a job. I have noticed that if you are in your 20s that anyone and everyone will come up to you and ask you all kinds of questions ranging from school to career to relationships. And like any 20 something year old will tell you - that gets old real flipping quick! I'm trying to maintain that whole boundary line where I don't share too much with what is going on with them. I don't know about you, but nothing annoyed me more then when my mom would start telling people my life story while I was standing right there.


We are actually kicking around the idea of popping up to Michigan for a day and kind of hitting everything we miss. I'm slightly embarrassed to say most of it involves food. But they ARE guys and one of them did say his favorite hobby was to eat. From what I hear that's exactly what their dad said when he was their age. Well, okay, then.

The downer is there is only one day that is going to work with Fred's crazy schedule. So our plans are just going to have to sort of hang in the unknown while we wait to see what is happening with the guys' and their schedule. I'm sort of feeling 50/50 on it. I don't like to be rushed and there is a strong possibility that it would be a day of go!go!GO! And that's not even considering seeing anyone. Although, to be honest, it would be a very short list. Sort of makes me tired just thinking about it. My mom said I was being a total pansy who needed to get over it and just do it. I wasn't aware she was a spokes person for Nike. And if she is - they have my sympathy. Lot of driving. And the newbie drivers flipped out and said no when I asked if they would do some of it.

For now I'm just going to hang out with my blanket I finally got done. I refuse to take pictures of it because 3 panels managed to come out in some whack-a-do pattern and the rest didn't. I had to add a few more inches more on a couple panels because a couple balls of yarn were a bit short. Of course, the added on part ended up with a totally different goofy pattern. I have made a Frankenblankie! It ain't gonna win any awards, but it feels wonderful and is super duper soft!! I guess that's all that matters.

Matter of fact, it's calling my name as I feel I could use a nap. For like 3 days.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Mail, E.Mail

You've got questions? Well, I don't have answers!
So I've received a few emails saying how they can't get my blog posts anymore. Frankly, I find that surprising as I wasn't aware anyone could even get this via email. Clearly, my tech savvy skills are lacking. But I think I'm having issues on my settings, because I have no idea what I'm doing.

As if this should surprise anyone.

I think the last setting I did changed the whole universe. Not really, but that's how it feels. Not sure what to do. My blog traffic went through the roof last year and I couldn't figure out why. It's not like I've been out there blog hopping and trying to pull in traffic.

Sidenote: I need to find more blogs to read as most of the people on my sidebar list have stopped blogging or have hit a slump like me where life grabs them by the face and slams them into a wall. Thank goodness for the popular blogs as I would be lost without them. I need something to read. Unlike my blog posts that tend to be more like a mini-series or a short book with no plot.

Anyhoo, I had noticed this nachobot site that kept popping up every day and I came across another blogger who was furious with this site. She had the same thing happen: spike in blog traffic for no reason, some email from some dude who's name you can't pronounce saying he would like to add blog to his website and it would increase traffic. I'm not really sure how it works. I know you have to sign into his website which seems a bit shady. After reading this other blogger, it's sounds several shades shady. Apparently, it copies your blog WITHOUT PERMISSION, puts it on their site, slaps advertisements on it and banks the money off of your work. Not cool!

From what I've gathered the guy refuses to stop using your blog even after you ask him to stop. There were a few suggestions and one of them was to change up some settings. I did and traffic has come to a sad trickle. Granted, I've been a bad blogger for not putting out consistent stuff, but this brought it to a dead stop. I'm still getting a lot of traffic on the older blog posts, but nothing on the new stuff. Not sure if I should go back to original settings or what to do. I'm not really sure I want 30 people from Japan reading my posts. What if I say something really stupid and it's offensive in their culture? Possibly not but why take that chance? These are some of the random thoughts I have. Like why would anyone from Germany read this? I can only imagine how strange a lost in translation this would all sound. Then again, maybe I sound like I'm completely another language.

I'm thinking no.

I'm still trying to figure out how to put the settings back without having some creepier run of with my blog posts and make some sweet pocket change while I do all of this for nothing. I'm now starting to reconsider Adsense. I had it briefly many moons ago, but took it down once it got hacked and ads for products that scare me starting showing up. We have products that can grow parts of the male anatomy and there are still diseases out there without a cure because WHY?!?

Another email I get a lot is why don't I have a Facebook page for my blog. Good question. 1) I'm sort of on the lazy side, so I haven't bothered to look into it. 2) I have people I'm forced to be friends with on Facebook and there is no way on God's green earth that I want them to read my blog.

Don't act like you don't KNOW what I'm talking about. Relatives are weird. You want to stay in touch with people and it's even better to know what's going on with them without ever having to talk to them thanks to Facebook. It's also mildly entertaining to see how they present themselves to the world when you know for a fact that they are full of it, and it takes superhuman strength not to comment liar, liar pants on fire on some of their posts.

The struggle is real.

I would like to tell you I'm going to get better at writing blog posts consistently but I have a feeling that would be a lie. Holiday season is gearing up, and I'm not really sure where the schedule stands at this moment. I got the book sale this week and I started a PMS Club with some of my former co-workers. That's going to make for a busy weekend!

Monday, November 2, 2015

A List As To Why My Nerves Are Not Happy

I had a moment where I was ready to wave a white flag and and scream, "I surrender!!!!" all dramatic like William Wallace in Braveheart. Granted, I'm not having my guts yanked out, but emotionally it certainly feels like it. So much so, that my sanity did take a belly flop off of the cliffs of insanity and is currently doggie-paddling through denial.

Story No.1
We had a mouse get in the house. As in saw the critter doing mach 6 along the floor. It was his 5th flyby that my brain could process what I just saw and then proceed to freak out. Mouse traps loaded with peanut butter were laid out, and the little rat fink managed to swipe a fair share of PB before meeting his demise. Since it got in through the garage door (because I stupidly left the door propped open when we were bringing in groceries not realizing that a mouse or 20 was floating around in the garage) and we had some extra traps, we set a few out in the garage. I'm just going to say I'm still kinda of freaked out that 1 of the traps has gone MIA. Now I'm starting to list off critters that will just act like a mouse trap is some fancy new designer jewelry rather than the death trap it was meant to be.

Why did I do zoology with J? Why?!? And when I mentioned this, he filled in a few more suggestions that I hadn't thought of. Thanks a lot kid.

I thought that our mouse drama was all done as we had quite the pile of mouse bodies, but sadly that would be a no. I was cleaning up after dinner and heard a lot of scratching under the sink. We sat down to watch some TV and I just happened to look over into the kitchen when I saw an itty bitty mouse walking around all chill like as if he was touring the place to see if this would work for him. The kick board under the cabinet sink was missing as we think they had water damage at one time. I think this is where Tiny got in so I had Fred fix the problem. Trouble with that is he left the back door propped open for the compressor hose and a few more mice got in.

Of course they did! Because the eye twitch didn't have enough things to twitch about.

We set out even more traps so the kitchen ended up looking like a minefield. I would like to take this moment to point out that Cinderella had to have had hamsters because these things are so tiny. And PB is mouse crack. They've cleaned out 4 traps while we were standing around in the kitchen. Because we are very observant around here. Thankfully, it seems we've got them all. The trap right by the frig was the winner with 4 kills. We got a few more in the garage and I will be putting decon on my list of things to get immediately. Because eww. Just eww

More Eww with Story No.2
I was not aware that there are rather large spiders down here in the big city. I mean mutant, spooky, I will eat your liver size spiders. It takes at least, AT LEAST (did you read that?) 3 whacks to stun it before you can slow it down long enough to crush it. The carnage from these nasty things is film worthy. M went to grab a flyswatter and I said to use my shoe instead as the sucker would have yanked the flyswatter out of his hand and used it on him.

Good granny!

We've sprayed around the house but ran out of the stuff before we got to the front porch area. And it seems anytime someone comes through the front door a spider would scoot right on in. How we have missed a huge spider the size and thickness of a golf ball hanging around the door confuses me. Although now that we managed to miss a few mice swipe PB right in front of us I guess I should not be confused anymore. My hero came home with more bug spray and pretty much baptized the front door for me. I have yet to go outside and clean the glass door from all his spray drippings because I was too busy thinking I'm going to catch a mouse with a broom and a dustpan.

At least mice aren't as scary as a squirrel is when it charges at you. I still haven't forgotten THAT incident of yore.

I would also like to rant that Pinterest has lied to me as it claimed both mice and spiders don't like peppermint oil. I had previously hosed down all the doors with watered down peppermint oil and they didn't seem to notice at all. I even tried spearmint just in case I got the wrong mint and it didn't do squat.

I haven't seen any more mutant spiders but they must not be happy because I woke up with a couple spider bites on my eyelid. MY FREAKING EYELID!!! I'm not sure what type of revenge this is but it seems pretty serious. I have milked the line from Megamind, "my spider bite is acting up" approximately 342 times. The other night it got really itchy and I just wanted to find a shoulder and rub my eyelid all over it because I apparently I'm part cat.

Story No.3
Long story short, we have a security system that pretty much hates me. I say hate because me, myself, and only I have managed to set the thing off a few times. I was doing dishes late one night and put a lid on the crock pot and it thought a window broke and went off. Another one was I'm still not use to this oven + I was trying a new recipe = hey the smoke alarm works! My ears were still ringing an hour later.
My favorite - read that sarcastically - is when it loses signal, it will freak out. Not sure why it's losing signal but not a fan of it freaking out. Especially when it's 4:30 in the morning, and I was home alone because the guys went camping for some manly quality time. The advertisement said to bring you peace of mind. I say bull hockey! It's made me jumpy. And kind of hateful as I stick my tongue out at it almost every time I walk past it.

I've been told I really need to start acting more mature as I'm setting a bad example. That and I can't refer to it as Ethel who tends to lose her mind. I did apologize to it and have now called it Spike hoping this will make it feel more protective rather than feeling all senile. We'll see if this will make it behave.

Story No.4
A few weekends ago I ended up staying with my mom to help her out with a craft show. I'm not exactly sure how I got roped into this, but I survived. I had to help her out as my dad, once again, overbooked himself. At one point my mom yanked on my arm and pointed out a gal that has us still chuckling. All I can say is bless her heart and at least she tried. She had on leggings and a top that covered her rear end, however, the top was a few sizes too snug as it was on that booty like plastic wrap. It bonus points as it had a dog picture that landed right on the booty with the front legs on one cheek and the back legs on the other cheek. It gave a whole new meaning to walking the dog, because it looked like the dog was actually walking with every step she took. And there was my mother and I trying not to snort with laughter.

Because we are a legacy of maturity.

In the middle of all that, my grandma was having all kinds of heart issues. So after we wrapped up the show, mom had to run over and stay with grandma. The hard part is grandma and my mom don't get along that great. That whole mother in law relationship is rather tricky. I would like to think I'm going to make a great MIL some day because I'm armed with a lot of don't do this or that real life experiences from multi-generations. One can hope.

Story No.5
The whole job application has been a bit stressful. Especially when the guys have been required to take 15 page psychological and personality profiles. I'm rather surprised how flipping uppity some of these stores are getting on their hiring process. If you actually pass that level, they let you move on and again, everyone is requiring a resume. I thought we were all going to need therapy and/or a stiff drink after a couple. It took all of us scrambling for info and after 3 hours they both had only applied to 1 store each. Re-donku-lous! Very grateful for the few people that have been willing to be references for the guys. If that wasn't stressful enough, toss in a couple interviews and the whole thanks, we'll call you. Way to leave them hanging.

That sort of leads right into Story No. 6
We're a bit discouraged. Lot of applications, only a few interviews, and still left hanging. I've been assured by numerous people this is normal and all part of the hiring process now days, but it has brought out my pushy side. It was brought to my attention that I tend to completely overwhelm the guys with words in general. We were having a discussion about all my pushiness and how pressure is being felt. I pointed out that I had to push because he's blown off a few things and now instead of one thing to deal with, he now has a few piled up. It seems I have passed along the procrastinating gene. Of course, it has to land on the one that has anxiety issues and a touch of OCD. Even though I was right on my points, I did acknowledge that he was completely right that I tend to hose them all down with lists upon lists and all the words. My mind is always thinking about 50 different things. I start to build up a list of things to "mention" to the guys but I don't always have time. So once I remember or have the chance - open the flood gates!

It was one of those conversations that you know you're both right but you just feel like you blew the whole thing, but it doesn't make the situation any better because life keeps on chugging. On top of it, I had kept pushing for 2 different stores for the guys to apply at, and both kept saying they weren't getting any peace about it and blew me off. I was irritated about it and kept bringing up both stores over and over in that whole flood of words. Last week both places had shootings within a couple days of each other. That was a huge humble pie shoved in the face. Neither guy said "I told you so!" but I caught the look they exchanged with each other when we heard the news.

They really are taking the time to hear from God. And I really should be proud of them that they are putting a lot of things into practice. I just can't seem to get past the frustration that the door hasn't opened faster and sooner for them. I think it's my own issues I'm pushing off onto them. I told them this too and said I have no idea how not to do it either. I'm done offering suggestions because between the 2 of them, they have hosed everyone down. Now I get to sit through those withered looks they shoot at me that screams "Oh mother! You have no idea what you are talking about!"

Right. Because it's not like I have life experiences or anything. Just a complete moron who has managed not to kill them off.

The day is young.

I think I'm also extra emotional because they are turning 20 this week. How in da hail did that happen?!? I look back at all the stuff I've wanted to do for them and couldn't. I look at all the junk we've gone through and wished we hadn't. But they really are quite amazing and have a deeper faith than I ever had. I was told that because they were early, it would take them a while to catch up. They'll get there - they always have and usually the extra few paces gives them a better insight and grasp on things.

If I could just.stop.freaking.out and, for all that is good and holy, stop being so impatient and frustrated about everything! Might as well ask for world peace while I'm tackling the impossible.

Story No.7
As if finding out I'm sort of the main source of the twins' anxiety lately wasn't enough to have me running for the hills, but apparently my youngest son is a total chick magnet. While I was up helping my mom, J was helping my dad at a covered bridge festival selling BBQ sauce. My dad has said every.single.time he takes J, the girls check him out something fierce. A few of them will even drag their parents over to buy something just so they can bat their eyelashes at him. All of which flies right over his head. Dad said this one girl had the hots for the boy and stalked him. She kept walking by the booth trying to get dude's attention, sometimes he would nod at her, but mostly tried to ignored her. She asked if she could take his picture with the sauce so she could get her mom to buy some aaannnd he actually believed her.

Clueless - thy name is Jared.

Dude went to get some water and she followed him. She walked up to him and started talking away at him, and then just reached over and grabbed his hand. He said it was the most awkward thing in the world. He said he tried to pull his hand away but she had a death grip on his hand. He came back to the booth and he said she side hugged him for almost a minute. He was not thrilled. My dad was wheezing with laughter at this point telling me about it while dude was several shades of red. But then she followed him into the booth and my dad had to shoo her away as that can cause liability issues. She must have had her feelings hurt, because she ran over to her dad and said something to him, who then came to their booth and yelled at my dad to keep his grandson away from his daughter.

My dad better be glad I wasn't there. Because couldn't you just see me going off on him to keep his little creepier away and causing a bit of a commotion? I sure could!

Not going to lie, the whole thing sort of freaks me out. That could have turned ugly. This girl stalks him, takes his picture, grabs him, but if she would have said anything against him, he would have looked bad even though he didn't do anything. He had less than zero interest, didn't encourage her, didn't know how to get her to leave him alone, and had to stand there as the dad yelled at him to stay away from his daughter. I'm still a bit shocked at how bold this girl was but at the same time I'm not. Dad pointed out that Jared is a good looking kid, he has confidence, and he's very likable.

I might have to arm my kid with bear spray from now on.

It's weird. You have talks with your kids to look out for suspicious people and to be aware of their surroundings. Didn't really picture myself having to tell my guys to watch out for stalkers and protect their reputations because girls are crazy. Don't get me wrong, we've had talks. Lots of talks. It's still weird though, because in all my scenarios in my head, never pictured my guys getting stalked.

We were all at a restaurant and I went to use the bathroom. A gal followed me in and asked if N had a girlfriend, and if he didn't could I put in a good word for her with....wait for brother! That turned several shades weird when I said that was my son! And that was a no go on the good word part. At least she had the decency to blush. I noticed a gal checking out M while we were visiting a church a few weeks ago. I asked him about it and he said he is so freaked out trying to figure out his future that a girl is the last thing he needs in his life right now. I had to laugh at that one. Fine with me!

I was telling Sissy about the whole thing with J and she said aww he survived his first stalking. It took me a few beats to realize she wasn't joking. She started laughing at me and said all of her friends would stalk guys. She informed me that we have been living in a bubble because we should have had this happening for the last few years. I'm now terrified. I seriously felt a new crop of grey hair pop up over this last couple weeks over everything. Seriously do not need chick drama right now thankyouverymuch!!

On top of that, Jared got sick the last two days and ended up sitting in dad's van. Dad complained a lot how he wasn't much help the last day. Dude was running a fever and did not feel good at all. I asked dad why he didn't just text me and I would have swamped out guys as M was willing to help out. He said he didn't even think about it. But instead, he complains to me and constantly points out how he was frustrated with J. Never said anything to the boy but expects him to be older and act accordingly. I think I see why my brother acted out like he did at this age. Very frustrating when you can't seem to please someone no matter how hard you try. Grr.

And last story
I got an email from the regional store asking me to come back to Jo-Ann's for a seasonal position. I'm actually considering it. And then I tend to smack myself in the face for even thinking it. Fred tells me no because we are hopeful one of these places is going to hire the guys here shortly, and I've already had to be a taxi a few times with schedules all over the place. Toss in how unpredictable my work schedule was and the possibility of leaving the guys in the lurch is highly probable. But that whole extra money thing is tempting. I know the store, I know where stuff is, I know how to run the registers, I know the job so it wouldn't rattle me at all. But my favorite manager moved to a different state, some of my favorite people have quit, I hate closing, holiday shoppers are the devil, the traffic up there is psychotic, and they have all new different policies from new management that has caused the store to take a nose dive in the toilet.

So the nerves and emotions are on overdrive right now. The good news is I finished my blanket I was making and I have a lovely new blanket fort to not want to crawl out from underneath. Except the weather is still in the 70s. Because Indiana weather is weird. I had the heat on last week and almost turned the air on yesterday.

But I'm prepared for when it's cooler. Hopefully the nerves will chill out too.