Finally!! Some Good News!

Who would have thought I was capable of giving out good news or even having good news....or even getting near good news? Believe me, I'm still shocked about it, but nevertheless, we actually have good news.

I'm actually hoping this is a sign that maybe, just maybe, our life will stop sounding like a horrible tragedy with a side of hot mess. I can dream, can't I?

Long story really short - we got our settlement money for being wrongfully foreclosed on. And God blew us away as it was way more than what we were expecting! But it has been a gambit of emotions. I think the strongest feeling that has risen to the surface is vindication. We had so many people make snide remarks and had the opinion that it was our fault so this is nice.

The thing that is still painful is that these banks ruined people's lives and even though they had to pay - they still made millions and one report I read - billions of dollars of profit. While this is helping us out tremendously and we really are better off on this side of things - it doesn't take away the sting of losing something we poured so much into. But it does make me want to contact a few people and be all nanner, nanner - you were wrong and you still suck!

Yeah, I'm still working on a few issues.

We bought Fred a vehicle. It was a glorious experience to walk in, test drive the vehicle we wanted - not what we qualified for (and some of you know exactly what I'm talking about), write a check, contact the insurance company, signed a few things and out the door. But for now I have my van back and I got to run an errand yesterday which was super nice.

We'll be able to pay off the back rent from the neglectful property manager from the ghetto house. Because justice doesn't give a rat's butt if they are at fault only that you are at fault. Which will be nice to get that monkey off the back if we could ever get a hold of the stupid lawyer. We might get stuck going back into court to make a final agreement because they keep dragging their feet. More neglect on their end but again, doesn't seem to be a blooming thing we can do about it.

We've been super freaking busy. Got to go to the book sale again at the library. We stood outside in the pouring rain but snagged some good stuff. Had a blast with those ladies and they got me slightly addicted to Trader Joe's. We had Jared's b-day, my folks were here the other day, and my in-laws are coming in for the weekend. C-r-a-z-y! There is talk of girl shopping and someone has been praying on her shopping anointing. I cracked up laughing when my MIL sent me an email of the list of stores she wants us to go check out. Hopefully, we're going to get me a new dryer tonight because the cement mixer is really annoying me. And the guys have just wrapped up their schoolwork so we are officially on summer break!!

I am so overwhelmed right now with things not sucking that it sort of freaks me out. We've had soooo much crap happen for so long that this is sort of weird and unusual. I'll take it!! But it's still weird. Wonder if this is what normal people experience on a regular basis?

Right now we're doing the happy dance that God came through for us and in such a way that has left me speechless. Not sure who's more happy about that - Him or me.

Apparently If You Blink A Week Or Two Will Fly By

Or maybe that's a whole month. At least it certainly feels like it. It's been a crazy month and that's sort of an understatement. It's been wonderful and awful, terrific and horrible.

Oh, come on - this is me. Did you expect anything less?

Had a great stay-cation. True to form, it went by too fast. We had something for everyone. Fred and the older 2 went camping, Jared and I had a movie marathon - even got to take him to see Wreck It Ralph at the repeat theater.

Fred and I got out to have a day just for us, but it was cut short when we had to come home as the basement flooded from all the heavy rainwater. Take Lake Michigan and dump it on a city in 15 minutes and that's pretty much what happened. I'll give the guys credit for their quick thinking. They got all the electric cords off the floor and was able to move a few things out of the way.

I did mention our bedroom and family room was in the basement, right?

We had 2 more flooding episodes at 1 a.m. and at 3:30 a.m. but Fred and the mighty shop vac was able to keep on top of it. Thankfully, it was just that night that we've had flooding and even more thankful that the carpet remnants were saved. I was really worried they were going to be ruined but no mold or musty smells have remained. I was able to prop up the carpet edges and run fans so air was able to get underneath it and got the whole thing dried out pretty quickly.

We did have a few huge earthworms that were hiding under the dryer that caused me to scream and go running out of the laundry room. The guys got a good laugh about that and declared me such a girl. I'm not even sure how to answer that one other then duh! and nice to see you passed anatomy.

The comment sort of irked me and clearly it was a sign I needed to get away from the men folk. And just my luck, our church was having a ladies conference. It was weird because I'm still like Ack! People! Get away!! But since I'm bored out of my mind, have resigned myself to suck it up and go mingle.


However, God showed up and it really was a great conference much to my surprise. Had a couple prophetic words spoken over me that was spot on, and a couple I sort of cocked an eyebrow at God and said we'll see. I've been having some good bible studies lately too! Lot of growth and I'm liking it. After feeling dead for such a long time, nice to see some life.

Got my lil sissy moved. Bummed that she moved farther away but glad for her. Matters of the heart always seem to cause a lot of drama. My guys got an earful about relationships. But we got her all loaded up in little over an hour and then hung out and had pizza. God certainly opened up some doors for her so that's cool.

Got glasses for everyone except J. He was pitching a fit about it to the point I was ready to shove him in a box and mail him to some far distance away from me. He doesn't need them and I didn't feel like wasting another eye exam to be told, again, that he doesn't need them. The eye doc said I made the right call but have him checked at 16 before he does any driving. Relieved to have that round of mom guilt put to rest. However, we are still waiting on Michael's glasses to get in. Nicholas has had his for a few days. This is something that I really hate about having twins - someone is always waiting and someone is always disappointed and there is nothing that can be done about it. Happy for one, frustrated for the other one.

Jared's birthday is a week away and he's been a bit spastic. Guys have just over 2 weeks of school work left and then we're on summer break. Not bad when you consider we took all of March off of school. I'm not sure who is more ready for summer break - them or me. I feel like I'm constantly waiting on someone else.

Our ancient dryer has now decided to do an impersonation of a cement mixer, so anyone doing their school work on the downstairs computer can't hear a blooming thing if the dryer is running. I have to babysit the washer because we never know when the drain is going to back up and spew water out of the floor. We at least have the gurgling toilet as a warning sign to shut off the washer before Lake Erie shows up. And I can't do any laundry at night because I'm pretty sure Fred would like to actually get some sleep.

And let us discuss laundry while we're at it, shall we? The older the kids get, the more laundry there is. And sadly, they still wait until they are down to the last whatever before announcing this dire circumstance. The frustrating thing is I never know when the drain is going to cooperate. Some days I can crank out laundry and other days it takes all day of starting/stopping the washer while I'm usually standing near the drain yelling at it to just suck it up and take it.

My life - it's messed up.

The Annual Freak Out

I would first like to point out that ya'll are sick. I get like 75 hits on my post of yet another epic fail of a move, but when I post the lesson learned in the middle of it, I get like 13 hits. Really? The train wreck is that exciting, is it?

Well okay, then.

But back to my annual freak out. Can you figure it out or should I just assume you have no clue what dribbles out of my....fingers?

It's curriculum ordering time! Said with as much enthusiasm of the thought of getting an enema - from a total stranger.

Although, I can say this freak out has been the worst. Granted, I say that almost every year but this time it's for real. This order will be the last order for the twins. It will be their senior year. I am having a hard time with this for a couple reasons. At this stage of the game, there isn't much curriculum to pick out. We've done almost all of it. Science isn't their thing even though they actually are understanding their chemistry now. Even to the point that they are making thermodynamics jokes that fly over my head.

Hilarious.

They both get an A in the sarcasm department but I'm sure I'll leave that off their transcripts.

They've completed a lot of the required stuff to the point where I think they could graduate now but we haven't done a government/civics course yet. Since I've turned down my mom's offer to teach them government (don't even get me started), I think we'll get that covered in case she tries to add her 2 cents worth. I would like my children to actually know what the law says and not some mad conspiracy that never seems to work out the way she sells it.

But I digress. Or I'm making an effort to beat the angst down. Take your pick.

Foreign language turned out to be an epic fail for them, and at this point, we all decided it would be wise to just step away. I get an A for the effort but you know that old saying? You can drag a horse to the water, but no matter how many times you dunk his head and hold him under - he ain't drinking it if he doesn't want to! The same applies to school.

Kerri and I were talking about how overwhelming it all is and I added that after all that stress, praying and guessing on what to get, shell out hard earned money - you get to spend the rest of the year listening to someone whine and complain about some of it or all of it.

Why yes, I am still pissed off about it. Thanks for noticing.

I did mention that the pickings are slim, right? Because it is. Just in case you didn't get that the first round. This leaves electives and I have yet to find an underwater basket weaving group. I'll wait as you process that mental image through your head.

Switched On Schoolhouse is 20% off for the month of April. They actually have a couple electives that haven't caused the guys to roll their eyes back into their heads from all the angst of, like I want to study that because why?

Truly is a miracle that I have let them live.

I'm also going to have to space out what I order and when. Jared flew through all his science that I'm scrambling to get him stuff but he's dragging his feet on history. No need to order history when he's not ready for it. But he's mad about this because he was looking forward to next year's history. I told him then he should put in extra effort to get through his history and he asked why would he want to do that?

That banging noise you hear is me beating my head.

I'm also struggling because I can't help but wonder - did I do enough?!? I remember when we started kindergarten and how I was freaking out and wasn't sure I was up for this and now we're going to be facing our last year and while exhausted, I know I gave it my all. But....I still wonder, was it enough? Did I do a good job? I didn't kill them and they can read and write, so I'm thinking why, yes! Yes, I DID do a good job!!! And judging from current society, I'm thinking they are way ahead of the average knucklehead.

God has had to repeatedly remind me that my identity isn't in the boys. That I had to let them be free to make their own choices (within reason) and the freedom to make mistakes so they could learn from it. But the kicker is not to be devastated thinking my mothering skills sucked big piles of dirt because they made mistakes and made poor choices. Goodness knows, I've made my share of them. I was also encouraged not to give up either. I'm doing my job and trusting God with the outcome. And the strength not to kill them.

I heard someone say, raising teenagers is like being slowly pecked to death by a chicken. I don't why but it makes me laugh every time. There are days......it feels like it. I've had a few of them this week. Or maybe because we had more drain issues, plumber took forever to get out here, only to have more issues the next day.

It's been a week, I'll tell ya.

So I'm glad we are actually having a stay-cation this next week. I feel bad that after having to take a month off of school and finally getting into the swing of it - we are now taking a week off. We are so close to being done but, sadly, the motivation to finish is at an all time low right now. Believe me, that's saying something because we've hit some lows before.

Hoping to get lots of stuff done, not to mention some fun.

In The Middle Of The Storm

After all that mess and what have you, I found myself flopping into yet another pit of despair. It was only a brief visit mind you, but enough for me to notice that the decorating hadn't changed much.

It has been beyond freaky how all this junk has been sort of a repeat and to have it twice in a year did not help matters. I think that was triggering the swan dive off the cliffs of insanity, but since I've been there before and nothing was new, I pulled myself together and quickly exit - stage left.

Some of that had to do with the new bible study I'm doing. I had just picked up Jennifer Rothschild: Missing Pieces. Right off the bat she was talking about in Mark where Jesus said they were going to go to the other side and then fell asleep as a huge storm hit the boat and everyone panicked to the point of accusing Jesus of not caring.

I perked up. Big storm, epic panic, and Jesus sound asleep - yep, could totally relate. 

While I'm sure none of you would freak out and pull the whole, "God, don't you flipping care?!?" I, however, seem to pull that card all.the.time. Such a proud moment for me.

Jennifer, I say that like we're BFFs, pointed out the differences of accusing verses inquiring. Inquiring seeks, accusing criticizes; inquiring asks, accusing demands etc. Well, snap! Actually, I said something else but why go there? Way to start this off with an uppercut, Mrs. Rothschild.

Here's the thing, I struggle to trust God. I have so many experiences where I stepped out in faith and went ker-splat! I dusted myself off and tried again, only to have a bigger splat than before. The hard ones are when I was told, and I obeyed, and it still ended in epic failure. Those are the ones that aren't easy to get over. You can give God understanding if you missed it and blew it, but when you know that you know that you did what you were told to do and things still shattered into a million pieces? I, myself, tend to point an accusing finger at the Almighty. I'm beyond inquiring - my hurt is demanding. Accusing.

Not the brightest thing to do but it seems to be something I've done....repeatedly as I have a lot of hurt. And that stung knowing I was using that hurt to justify accusing.

While God hasn't fried me like a french fry, or pulled away from me in those demanding moments, I certainly haven't gotten the answers I'm in desperate need for either. There is always that reassurance that He is there, He does care, and He is fair. I'm still in a rock, paper, scissors battle with Him over that last one. Because my brain has a hard time understanding how all this crap can be fair or for my good. I understand seasons but we're talking y-e-a-r-s.

What is it about numbers on the calender that can make us so crazy? Or maybe that's just me. I honestly don't know.

I didn't think I had issues with numbers until my 15th anniversary showed up. It seemed every ounce of grace I had for my husband instantly vanished like vapor on a hot day. I had no idea why it was there one day and loooong gone the very next. And it didn't look like it was coming back anytime soon. I think I had it in my head that by that many years of marriage, we should have our act squared away and clearly, we didn't. 

It's like you think when you're 30 you will know everything and have accomplished everything there is to accomplish. That thought flies right out the window on your 30th birthday. And you realize you still don't have it all figured out. Not even close.

Jennifer, my pretend BFF, was saying how the disciples immediately went to worse case scenario. "Lord, don't you care that we're going to die?" It didn't say they were going to die but that's what they felt was going to happen. Oh, those feelings! They have gotten me into more trouble than what I really want to admit. I've been called a Negative Nelly many times, so that whole worse case scenario? I can bring it!! It's like that's the one thing I excel at....besides sarcasm.

Many times I've found myself flopped on the floor, totally exhausted after accusing God of not caring about the latest worse case scenario I was sure that was going to be thrust upon us. In my defense, I've gone through a lot of unusual stuff and since some of what I was freaked out about did happen, it's sort of made me both paranoid and cynical. I have repeatedly said, "this doesn't happen to normal people, Lord!"

I'm not sure if I should take comfort in the fact that He agreed with me or be a bit concern. Still a toss up.

She closed off that day with when it seems like God is asleep in the middle of the situation, to rest in the fact He said they were going to the other side. That God will get you to the other side of the storm. While I'm still sort of feeling shipwrecked and floating in the water, some Pollyanna out there will say, "yes, but you're hanging onto that driftwood and it's keeping you from drowning."

I hope she paddles far away from me or it's going to get ugly here real quick. Might have to beat her half to death with that driftwood.....twice.

I'll let you figure that one out.

But I can say that we are in a better place. The house is working out better then what I first thought and it has a dishwasher! Thank you, Jesus! Amen! Not once have I heard a gunshot, and I don't have to stand guard at the van while the guys unload the groceries.

It's just hard to understand the why as we're going through it. It's hard to hear God give us cryptic assurances that "It's coming" and "Hang in there" when all we feel is spent, confused, and not sure what to do next. Hang on to what? Hope? Because mine left a long time ago.

But....

There are days when I do get it. This is a fight. And if your life is just a bowl of flowers and happy songs - you might want to paddle away from me because I still have some driftwood.

One thing about living with guys - you watch a lot of war/combat movies. All of them talk about battle. The bible studies we've done with the guys have all talked about being in a war between good and evil. I've heard a lot of battle talks. A lot.

I love the movie Facing The Giants. When we were moving, we all hit the wall of exhaustion but there was still a lot to do. I grabbed the guys, and with a voice beyond shot and barely above a whisper, I reminded all of us about the part where everyone was tired but the guy yelled out Stone Wall! We had been talking about being unstoppable and I told them now was the time to dig deep and be an unstoppable force. That no matter how hard this gets, we were going to be a stone wall that was not going to crumble!

You should have seen my crazy self. Every time I walked by the guys I was scream whispering, "Stone wall!", "Unstoppable!", "Strong tower!" anything I could think of to keep us motivated to keep going. Every word I tried to say that day felt like a hot poker was shoved in my throat. Every word of encouragement I was trying to give was causing me physical pain. In my feverish state, I kept saying I was like Debra of the Old Testament and we were in battle and we were on the winning side. You would not believe all the crazy bad things that kept happening one right after another. I can't even begin to list it all.

It was like we were in a boxing ring. We would throw a punch - the enemy would throw a punch. Back and forth for the whole weekend. We were duking it out. You see those boxers that are bloody, puffy, and exhausted taking blow after blow and you wonder how can they endure? I watched all of us dig deep and pressed on through sickness and pain, bloody noses, weird circumstances and numerous outbursts of you got to be kidding me! and got the job done. And after all that, got to face all the goofy crap that happened with the house.

I'm still not sure who won. At the time, it felt like we were knocked out....again. But weeks later, we're still standing.

A week before the move, God reminded me of the time when we went camping and the truck broke down and how, while it wasn't fun, we had pulled together and were stronger for it. It was like that only make it in a lot worse.....and then times it by six. I don't know what God has planned on the other side but if this is training for it? I am now a bit skert.

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, my cousin said I should be able to bench press a Buick by now.

The Move.....Again

When we last left our heroine she was up to her eyeballs in boxes. She was more than overwhelmed to find herself moving....again.....in less then a year. As fate would have it, Hubby brought home the plague and all the guys were wiped out. She pressed on and helped the Hubby who was barely functioning to load up the storage unit to save them time. They applauded the brilliance of the idea and it really did save their bacon.

She called the church to line up some helpers for the move. Helpers were promised but none showed up which did not surprise anyone. So the clan of 5 faced moving all by themselves as everyone else had plans plus no one was at a 100%. They were able to get the keys to the place Friday and Saturday arrived with our heroine feverish and shaking with chills. She also lost her voice and everyone was coughing their heads off.

I think I can now say this was the worst move ever. I hope life doesn't take that as a challenge.

We were supposed to be out by the 9th. Yeah, that didn't happen. We ended up spending the night at the old place Saturday and Sunday as we were worried the locks would be changed. We had so many crazy weird things happen, it was beyond discouraging. Everything from a tire blowing out on the dolly as we were trying to unload the frig, raining so the ramp was slick and a few of us slid off, to the truck not starting so we had to get it towed. Found out breathing hard triggers coughing fits. Which guess what you do when you move stuff? You breathe hard. All of us felt like we had gargled with broken glass.

Monday rolled in with Fred having to take the day off and my folks came down to help. We thought we were all set only to find out there was a mix-up regarding utilities and the water and heat was shut off by Monday at the new place. Tuesday I made a ton of calls and by 10 p.m. we still had no heat or water. I did mention we were all sick during this time right? God bless the gas guys because the dispatcher had an emotionally charged woman to deal with and they sent someone out to get our heat on at 11 p.m. Which was good because it was snowing by this time.

The next day, more calls were made and promises of water being turned on but no one ever came out. They basically wanted to do a meter read before we could turn the knob to have water in the house. We figured after I called 4 times, had confirmation numbers etc, they were flipping sol on their meter read and we turned the knob on by 8 p.m.

We thought things were good.....until we found out the water heater wasn't working. Did you ever see the scene in Groundhog Day where the guy takes a shower but it was cold water? Yeah, that's pretty much what Fred went through. The rest of us decided to just stink then go through that kind of torture. Plumber guys came out - a few days later - and fixed it all up. We had hot water and much rejoicing was in the land.

As the next day arrived laundry was beyond piling up, so I went to do a load, only to have lake Erie appear in the basement. A lot of boxes sat in the water while it took me forever to get the stupid shop vac figured out and suck up all the water.

Why yes, I did have a meltdown. How did you figure that out?

Next day, different guys came out to see what was wrong with the drain. Everything drained as it was supposed to and I was mocked for wasting dude's time. They left. More laundry was tried and more water showed up. I called back, and they came back. Everything was draining fine and I was getting teased by plumber until water started to bubble up through drain and the guy outside came running in as he said it was backing up.

Told ya!

I guess there are roots in the pipe and was causing some draining issues. We now know if the downstairs toilet starts to gurgling to shut off the washing machine which has only happened twice since.

In the middle of all this my mom insisted on making us curtains. I can't remember if I ever shared that she made us curtains a looooong time ago and Fred hated those things - with a passion. Declared them the ugliest things he ever saw. Dude isn't a huge pattern type person. Wait, that's not true. How about we just say that our taste and hers are totally different, m'kay?

She showed up with a solid brown color and I sighed a sigh of relief. Until she wanted Fred to put grommets in them. He talked her out of it and came up with an idea that worked a lot better. He found curtain rings with little clips on them that clip to the material which was a good plan because it took her all day just to sew the panels together. This did throw off her measurements and the curtains are a hair too long but she said she'll come back later to hem it better. It's all good.

And if all that wasn't enough, we found out that if you move more than once a year, you will get charged for it. Dish charged us $50 and AT&T charged us $50 but they ended up having to send someone to install a new line etc. so it turned out to be $150. At least they gave us a new modem.

Not gonna lie, I think Fred had to talk me off the ledge. Dude has been working overtime like crazy to help cover all these extra expenses and then come home and try to get everything organized. We got the storage unit emptied yesterday. Oi! Yesterday was a story all it's own! Had my cousin here last couple of days. Her and her now ex-boyfriend had a huge blowup and there have been threats, nasty emails, and wild accusations that would make any trashy high school proud.

So there have been all kinds of tears but for different reasons flying around here. But we are finally all feeling better and the place is coming together. Although today I discovered the kitchen sink is leaking and the monitor on our computer died. Seems like this crazy junk doesn't want to go away just yet. At least we're out of the ghetto so that's the positive note in all of this.

As The Train Chugs On

Why I haven't fallen into bed in total exhaustion is a bit of mystery to me right now. The guys all woke up feeling even more miserable, if that was even possible. All 3 couldn't do much more than just sit. It was really bothering the older 2 that they couldn't help but their pink cheeks, glazed over eyes, and hacking cough pretty much made them out of commission. One kid said he coughed so hard, he's pretty sure he tasted lung.

Added bonus, we couldn't get Clifford to start. The battery was dead and it's been giving us fits so Fred and I have made about 20 trips back and forth to the storage unit in the van.

Doesn't feel like we've made a dent in anything. Tomorrow, hopefully, we'll get keys to the place or at least the garage, oh and hunt down a moving truck, and 500 hundred other things like take down the beds and pack clothes all before Fred goes to work at 2 and we won't see him until 11p.m. All while I try to load up the truck with no help as the guys are all wiped out.

All that sobbing and whimpering is from me. I've been battling the crud myself. I think on trip number 5 I felt like I was walking in slow motion. I am so very thankful for ibuprofen! But it feels like someone is standing on my chest.

At this point, I don't think we're going to get to move into the house until Monday. We haven't heard back from them yet. They said we can use the garage but last I heard that was it. I don't think we're going to get everything done Saturday either. Especially not with everyone feeling under the weather. I remember moving all this crap the first time and it felt like it would never end and that was with help! I told Fred I bet money no one will come check to see if we left right on the 9th. I suggested we save the air mattresses and sleeping bags and stay the night as we know it has water, heat, and electricity. That and I don't feel like driving down to my cousin's especially if we still have stuff still here. He agreed with me, so my mother should be proud we're not following the rules. But seriously, they want all our crap out of here and we have no where to go. Not like they're going to come in here Sunday and get to work. Believe me, I'm betting they won't even touch this place until a couple months from now because that's how bad they suck.

I don't get any of this. I'm starting to give up trying to figure it out anyways, so I guess that's progress.

My Life Is Trying To Kill Me

It's terrible! But I have had so much anxiety and stress that I was ready to punch myself in the face just to get some sleep!

Peeps - it has been day of hell 1 AND 2 all over again. The plus side is not having to drive 4 hours. Finding houses to rent is a bit tricky. The guys have all loved having their own rooms. I have loved them having their own rooms so when someone is on my nerves, they have a place to scram to and not cause more angst. Goodness knows that when one is banished from mom's presence that the only cure-all is to annoy the crap out of the siblings. Brings out the evil momma that I keep locked up with a bag of cookies up front and center real quick.

Toss in the fact that it takes a small fortune to feed these guys and we're left with a limping budget. So that scaled down the search, but this time we dragged the guys along with us just so they could understand how hard this really is to do.

Oi!

But we've had some laughable moments not to mention tears, mostly on my end, and a perseverance to pull together that hasn't always been there. Either that or I grew more backbones and command a tight ship - not entirely sure which one it is.

We just found out today that we did get approved for a house so hooray! we won't be homeless. Now comes reality thundering in on the party. It is only a 3 bedroom and is a lot smaller than this place. However, the downstairs is sort of a family room that will be our bedroom slash computer room, slash whatever else we can cram down there. That chilled everyone out because the rooms are too small to fit more than 1 person in it. I'm not thrilled with it, but it has a dishwasher, so I told myself to shut the hell up and roll with it.

Told ya I was commanding a tight ship.

On top of that, it has central air conditioning. I was just thinking about summer and had this total dread hit me at how horrible it was to only have air every other night. I whined all over Facebook about how miserable we were in the 100+ degree heat and we only had window units that we could only use 2 at a time. So I'm seeing some perks here.

But a pipe burst and the downstairs ceiling has fallen off. O-f-f - off. There are a few other things that need to be done and long story short we're not sure if we'll be able to move in by Saturday, which is the court order date for us to vacate the property.

Oh happy day! Said no one ever.

You could almost hear the panic induce ulcer going full speed ahead. Sadly, this is not the first time I've had this where I've been under so much stress that my stomach clenches up and I'm in physical pain. However, I seem to develop a tremendous amount of nervous energy that I'm suddenly able to accomplish a lot of things in a short amount of time. Which is good because, as luck would have it, all 4 guys came down with fever, chills, and congestion Sunday.

I have been slightly amazed at us because when we went to court last week, Fred came home and had the place almost completely packed before the weekend. Then I've sort of taken over and done 20 loads of laundry in 2 days, primed the bathroom to try and cover up when the plumbers made a huge mess, and got several other things all done.

My mom actually had a good idea to get a storage unit for just a month to put stuff in we don't need right away and so that we aren't trying to move everything in one day. Guys all had to acknowledge that was rather smart. Plus we can get things squared away and then bring in stuff at our leisure rather than everything having to get done by Saturday.

I think we might be able to load stuff into the garage as well. But the problem I'm worried about is where to park our butts and how to feed us in the mean time. I contacted my adopted sister/cousin and we might end up at her place for a couple days if need be. Dear Lord, the blog fodder from that should be epic. Last time she spent the night we all were on our own devices and ended up having an epic Facebook movie quote. Because we are so cool like that.

We still haven't made Clifford the big red work truck legal yet. Sort of need an address to have plates mailed to and not being here makes that a problem. After trying to sell it and failing, I've noticed it keeps saving our butts I'm starting to have second thoughts. That is until we couldn't get it started tonight, which is making me rethink those second thoughts.

I feel bad for the guys because I can tell they are all feeling miserable. The worst is Fred because dude has never been sick beyond 3 days and he has come home from work and only able to sit and close his eyes. So not like him! Once the ibuprofen kicks in, he's good to go.

Something I've noticed about me is I seem to take a lot of comfort in the familiar and while I've said that before it still surprises me. I was just sort of getting used to things and now faced with new change and a different area to shop, I'm all in the throws of I don't want to leave. Wasn't I just whining about getting out of the hood and prayers for deliverance?!? I'm pretty sure that I did and now we are getting out of the hood (yay!) I'm freaking out about different and whining about why couldn't we stay? I new I had issues and all, but good grief!

My dad insisted that we call the church we've been going to. They aren't able to come down and help us move as they are tied up with my grandma. When I asked why he said it would give them a chance to be our brothers and sisters in Christ, which I did get a strong rebuke after the loud snort I let out. He also said it's not their fault that the churches we've been at have only had fake, phony people who weren't there for us.

Point taken.

So I called and long story short, nothing they can do to help us and now our sad tale of woe has been spread all over the church. Now I'm considering going back to the cold, stand-offish church because I don't know how to handle that. Part of me knows I'm not being fair or rational, but my experience has been when people know you are struggling, they sharpen their pitchforks and light the torches. But I will say that the lady I've talked to has been very sweet, very concern for us, and I've appreciated her sympathy. They might have some people come help us move but how weird is that? Hi, I'm Joanna. I know we just met and all but could you pick up that couch because it's too heavy for me to lift?

Me thinks not.

The issues are not happy with this. But with Fred being so sick I think is part of the reason I called. Dude manhandled the love seat all by himself! The frig gave him the biggest fits as it's a hog and if he's not at a 100% we're toast.

I'm sad that I've written this super long post to just now get around to saying that through all of this God is faithful! Did He fix things? No. Did He make them go away? No. Did He open up doors? No - they've been barely pried open. But through all this stress and anxiety, pain and confusion, there has been snippets of God telling me it's going to be okay. I've railed and whined at Him and not once did I feel Him pull away from me. I don't understand this! And my brain can't figure out how any of this is for our good or will bring Him glory in any way, shape, or form. But if I've learned nothing else of all the junk we've gone through is He hasn't left me, He's not mad at me or against me and He really does quiet all my fears. Doesn't make them go away but does quiet me down, even to the point where my stomach can unclench.

And after a whole day of not being able to calm myself down to finally be able to breathe is just wonderful!