Friday, July 24, 2015

Light It On Fire!!

Bust out the marshmallows! Our plans got napalmed! And not in a well we can shift this here and there. Nope. Burnt it all to heck.

Thank the good Lord that He gave me Fred, because that man is really unstoppable. Dude came up with a plan on the fly while I'm just now crawling out of my blanket fort to throw away the half box of tissues I've used from all the wailing and gnashing of teeth.

We were told to get utilities changed in our name for Friday - okay check. We got moving truck all reserved for Saturday and Sunday - check. We had people from out of town all set to come help us move - check. And then last night I got a text message from Fred that we aren't closing until.....wait for it.....Monday.

Allow me to sing you the song of my people WAAAAHHHHH! Son of a nutcracker! AAAHHH! Ah! ah!

Seriously was in the middle of an ugly cry when my phone chimed, I picked it up, wiped my eyes and there was a message from my man saying, "I have a plan. We got this."

And that is just one of the reasons why I truly adore him.

The new plan is we got another storage unit, as we already packed out a small one. We got the moving truck for an extra day. We're going to load up the truck and pack out the storage unit with anything that will fit in my TrailBlazer. Then we're going to load up the truck Sunday with everything else. Fred's parents are the only ones now available so they are coming out Sunday night with a trailer and truck. We're closing Monday afternoon and then it's going to be a mad dash to get everything over to the new place. Then we'll try to get the storage units emptied throughout the week before a new month rolls in. Oh yeah, and get a kid in to take his written test to renew his permit and then schedule a driver's test.

God help me.

I did have a few weak moments of Tourettes and the eye twitch did signal in Morse Code this sucks. I do have to agree with the old broad, but have little choice but to go on. I don't know how long the in-laws are staying, and because this is my life, my folks will be available to help during the week. For those of you tracking - they all don't get along. Would that be th'all? Kind of like y'all only more? I give up.

History has taught me that the sheer amount of stupid garbage that is going on can only mean that we have another huge blessing coming down the pipe. At least we better because my nerves are like 'Seriously? This crap AGAIN?!?' And how sad is this? I have no chocolate in the house. Gasp! This is a crime!

And if I have to eat one more frozen pizza I think I'm going to barf. We're clearing out the big freezer and apparently Jared either doesn't bother to count how much stuff is in there or he is preparing for some type of zombie apocalypse. I really have no idea how or when I dropped the ball with him, but I'm starting to think it might be a genetic mutation because he makes my head hurt. I'm finding myself yelling, "Really?" at him while he just grins at me and slowly slinks away. You know how funny it is to see someone about 6 ft try to slink away? It's flipping hilarious which doesn't help when you're trying to yell at him. At least Fred hasn't mind eating all the bags of pizza rolls.

Right now I'm refusing to come out of my blanket fort. They haven't noticed yet, but I'm sure they will once they've noticed I took the box of poptarts with me. I keep waiting for Fred to pack up my blanket and then shrug all mystified as to where did it go. Not like it would be that hard as my fort is really just me hiding under a blanket. Actually, dude is in the zone and has no time for shenanigans right now. Which is a shame because I think that is something I excel at, while blanket forts - not so much.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Smells Like Freedom

And possibly fish.

It's not helping that we've had a ton of rain lately. Especially since this dump just loves to flood. I had us all prepared and ready to go to battle a round of flood waters but, thankfully, our preparedness kept the flood waters at bay. At least it did till about 3 a.m. when it said nanner, nanner, caught you sleeping.

Oh the joys.

Well last few weeks have been a whirl wind of activity and high drama. I no longer know what day it is. I didn't realize that my waking hours consisted of preparing for work, getting ready for work, heading to work and then actually working, only to come home and curse the work's existence all while I try to cram as much stuff as I could before I started all over again. Vicious cycle. So take all that out and I've been actually getting stuff done. Got a lot of packing done. Totally embarrassed by how dirty everything is so I've been doing a lot of cleaning too.

There are not enough words to express how happy I am that I'm not at that soul sucking job. Retail work is hard work because you have to survive all the demanding people who want everything for nothing.

We are still waiting on a closing date. I wish I were kidding. Especially since we have a moving truck ready for this weekend after Fred did all kinds of switch-o-change-o on the schedule. Plus we have Fred's folks coming to help and my cousin and her husband are coming to help us move too. The stress this has caused has just sucked. We got an email that for sure the 21st was the closing date. Gander a look at your calendar and tell me what the date is. IIII KNOW! It was supposed to happen today but now we're told it's either tomorrow afternoon or Friday morning.

My cuss jar overflows.

Especially since our plan was to get in there and paint the guys' rooms and clean all the carpets upstairs before we moved in. Yeah. About those plans. I'm trying not to imagine those plans going up in flames. I keep telling myself those are not smoke trails I see coming out of those plans.

As if all this wasn't a wonderful ball of gooey. 1 twin passed his driver's test, the other didn't. Do you know how hard it is to celebrate and yet be totally bummed out at the same time? What really sucks is it was parallel parking - that was it! And let me tell you how many hours we had them practice and that was when we had to cram it in when our work schedules actually lined up. What shocked us was this is the kid that has nailed parking every single time. To hear that is what held him back surprised me. What really sucks is it sounds like it was spiritual warfare. He said everything was going fine and then when he couldn't get the car to line up right, he said confusion rolled in, then anxiety kicked in, and zilch. No pass. Which really ticks me off. I can't remember the last time I parallel parked.

Extra bonus points on this sucks - his permit expires next week. We have been trying for the last 2 months to get them in but every BMV has been booked out for weeks. So we have to get him in next week before it expires and he has to take the written test again, and if he passes they will set up a time for him to take the road test again two weeks out.

Oh yes. Because I have nothing better going on right now.

I will at least say I'm thankful that they aren't going to make him wait 180 days, because I think I would be throwing my cuss jar across the room.

The hard part is that he is ready and we have worked with him and prayed over him. So to see him go through this and watch it suck all the confidence right out of him makes me so mad for him and yet there is nothing I can do about it.

My dad asked if we were going to have Jared take the written test to get his permit too. I said there is only so much my poor nerves can handle and that ain't it! Not to mention junior chicken overheard this so he squawked and ran out of the room.

Calgon is a lie because I tried to drown myself and I'm still flipping here!

I think Fred is about ready to hide my blanket as he told me to stop making forts. I've been tackling laundry while going through my clothes. How is it possible to have a ton of clothes and yet still feel like I have nothing to wear?!? I have 2 large garbage bags that are now overflowing to take to Goodwill. There are already 3 bags from old coats, shoes and stuff the guys have all outgrown. I just now need to haul it over there. At least I would if my Blazer wasn't full of painting supplies as I thought that was what I was going to be doing right now.

*mutters* I am not bitter. I am NOT bitter.

I'm going to chalk up my crankiness due to lack of sleep. I was startled awake at 5 a.m. by the mass raid on the area. According to the news, local police and FBI agents were attempting to round up 40 very no good people. I think they really need to up that number because there is an apartment complex not that far away that is almost always bathed in flashing lights and crime tape. Not to mention what all was going on at that house on the other side of us last fall.

Who knew we would be really excited to move? Granted, it's for multiple reasons, but this is the first time all of us are happy to be moving and where we are moving too. That is a miracle right there. At least it will be once we actually close.

I think I'm going to go sit in my fort while I wait on the dryer.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Taking Procrastination To A Whole New Level

Fred keeps kicking me out of my blanket fort and tells me I need to get a grip. Like right now. After a few rounds of angry eyebrows, I forced myself to get all my scrapbook stuff packed up. And let me tell you how low I felt looking at how far behind I am on the guys' books. But then I muttered how my whole "me" time got stolen and I feel like ain't nobody got time for that now. Especially since I feel like 2 out of 3 have hit most of their milestones and I don't even remember the last time I even touched my camera, let alone think about recording this moment in life.

I'm not even sure I want to remember this moment in my life. I mean, I do but at the same time I don't.

How sad is this? I pulled a "guy" moment where I did something and looked all proud of my accomplishment and looked to my better half trying to impress him at my said accomplishment. Thought I was going to get a good job coming from Mr. Robot. Instead I got a snort with a mumbled about time because this was like his 5th trip from cramming stuff into the storage unit he got. I'm going to blame him as he got a smaller unit than last time and is now pulling some super power stackability thing going on. And spell check about blew up at that word. I'll just chalk it up to that dude is a lot harder to impress than what my procrastinating ways can muster.

George decided to grace me with his royal presence. Wished I would have known as I am without chocolate. Scratch that. Last night now makes total sense. I made a pan of white chocolate chip blondies, slapped it up with some ice cream and then hosed it down with this white chocolate sauce I found in the coffee aisle. I'm not sure how to describe it other than I need to lock this stuff up because I sort of envisioned tossing my head back and squirting that bottle for all it's worth! Yum!

But that means my last 2 days of work are going to be uncomfortable. Tomorrow is my last day. I just have to survive tonight. I feel someone was spiteful in the schedule because I close and then turn around and work opening shift. I have a lot of mixed feelings about the whole thing. I'm a big, big fan of money as I can tell you from personal experience that not having enough of it really, really sucks. So not having that extra cushion is causing me to have some anxiety. However, the thought of still working there causing me a whole other round of anxiety and giving up the will to go on. At least this way I won't have to keep a straight face while someone yells at me for their expired coupon.

I've decided that I will cope by staying in my blanket fort and read my stacks, nay - piles of books. Except Fred packed up all the books. I thought maybe I should get back to working on a blanket I'm loom knitting only to discover that it too has been packed up. As the other 2 projects I had going on. And before you ask why do I have multiple projects........OOOO shiny!

Where was I?

We are still waiting on a closing date. The only advantage to all this waiting is that the sellers are going to be out by the time we close, which the last date they wouldn't have been ready. The only downer is it is going to take one big miracle to get it by next weekend. Which is now turning funny because all the people that offered to help are now busy and can't help. So if we do get it - it'll just be the 5 of us moving all our crap. Which this will be our 3rd move doing everything ourselves so honestly, I'm not phased. Or surprised.

I'm laughing at my folks right now. We've all had computer issues lately. We buy refurbished stuff as that is what our budget will allow. I think back in April my Mom's computer died so we got her a refurb tower. Right after we got our new one, my Dad called and said his died and needs one too. While getting him one, we found a laptop for J to use on his schoolwork because his computer was on its last leg. It was so sad to see this big dude hunched over trying to do schoolwork on this small computer monitor. The kicker is we bought 2 things and had them sent to 2 different address. They both arrived here.

But of course they did!

I called my Mom and she had me laughing. I guess they have been "sharing" a computer and it hasn't been going very well. So when I told her it was here rather than being shipped to them, she volunteered my Dad to come down and get it. Well, okay then!

I seriously hope my procrastinating ways would just go away. I don't always have the energy to play rock, paper, scissors with myself to get things done in a timely matter. I get things done, but it's usually with my hair on fire and running around screaming like an angry chicken. While this is amusing to picture, I'm sure the guys will tell you it's no picnic to live with. I keep telling them girls are all crazy, they just have to decide what flavor of psycho they can live with. Their dad usually has that look that says, "she's not kidding" but refuses to say anything....in my presence.

George says if you need us we will be in the blanket fort refusing to come out and make dinner at 3 pm so I can eat dinner at 4, get out the door and get to work by 5 battling rush hour traffic. I can do this! Tomorrow! I am free!!

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Well That Was Exciting

Had our main computer go belly up. Or more like it was in a self-destruct count down that we weren't aware of and every time we turned it on, it thought to itself - soon, and then silently cackled. Naturally, it would have to be to itself, because I would lose it if the computer just started to cackle. I would hose it down with holy water, or maybe just water, and tell the devil to come out of it. Or possibly pull all the wires out of it and chuck it out the front door.

But I digress.

Nicholas turned on the suicide computer and he said it sounded like it was winding up for lift off. I'm no expert, but that can't be a good sign. I guess it went on to make all kinds of groans and noises that I had to ask if smoke was pouring out of it. I was given that look that only I can get. That look that screams "are you for real?!?"

I would like to take this moment to point out I am not a fan of that look. So much so, that I feel it forces me to amp up whatever it is I'm doing just so I can remain queen of the dork. It's moments like this I have the urge to call my parents and apologize for being a teenager and then thank them for surviving as that gives me hope I'll survive.

I decided to take a nap instead because I have a feeling my mother would not be merciful on that conversation.

So we got a new-ish computer tower and it has worked very well. I'll leave off this is the first chance I've had to sit down at it as other people were hogging it and my work schedule is strange. I had no idea what type of a panic I would have as I had to try and remember all my bookmarks. Plus, I had my grocery shopping list template like thing to re-do. And that is a royal pain in the buuutttt it's worth it.

I know. That was lame. I have no excuse. I'm running on very little sleep. I'm not sure what new phase this is but I can barely stay awake till midnight, but I'm awake at 5:30 a.m. For a night owl like me, I feel like my body is pulling some shady betrayals.  I blame it on I had to close the last 3 nights and closing just kicks any and all ambition out of me. I have the next few days off and today my body was like I ain't moving! You'll just have to pee on yourself cuz not.moving!! Which is going to be odd since I need to go grocery shopping.

I'm sure you can just pick up on the glee and excitement from there.

But something that I'm still feeling giddy about is I put in my 2 weeks notice. We have so much stuff going on that I'm not available to do much. Still waiting on a closing date but it may just be a couple weeks away. And just tons of stuff to do. I thought I would be feeling more relief but instead I'm battling feeling overwhelmed. If that wasn't enough I had a few nights last week where I was just gripped with fear and lots of what ifs. Not fun to walk through it, but it has certainly been an opportunity to invite Jesus into the middle of it so I can get healed and move along.

I was actually surprised to hear how upset all my co-workers were when they heard the news I was quitting. I mean, like come up and hug me and tell me that my smile made their day and they didn't know how they would go on without me to make them laugh. That took me by surprise. There are many times that it feels like the stuff I do day in and day out doesn't mean a hill of beans to anyone. So to get this huge out-pour from people who don't really know me that well knocked me for a loop. I know I've made them laugh - some of the stuff I've pulled and said over the headsets have left them all in stitches. Some of the cutting counter ladies will come up to me and said I made them laugh so bad one night that people thought they were all crazy. I can't help it. Humor is the only way I know how to cope. I'm going to miss my co-workers, but I am so not going to miss that job!

I do find it interesting that everyone wants to know what job I'm going to do next. I was briefly thinking about transferring to the other store, but I heard the manager is kind of a jerk. The only reason I was considering it was from all the fear that decided to hop up and down on my head. All I'm getting from God lately is "make yourself available" and "get ready" with no other details. I can't say as that makes me warm and fuzzy with this peaceful blanket enveloping me. More like this wonder of is that a good thing or a bad thing? How do you get ready for something you don't know? I had this weird dream like I was playing Wheel of Fortune and I kept asking for some vowels because there wasn't much of a sentence going on. Then I had a dream that I was a rabbit that was going all Sherlock looking for clues.

I have this horrible feeling it's all a strange cry for help but I can't seem to piece it all together. Not really. I just think dang I have issues and roll over and go back to sleep. Who has dreams like these??? Anyone? Yeah. Didn't think so. Gah!

And I've held Fred back for as long as I can on his crazy packing ways. We both have tomorrow off and I know what this means. I will have to stop him from trying to pack up the kitchen. I'm not complaining too hard. Dude has a gift. He won't let anyone help him pack but there is a reason. I can ask him where something was from 3 houses ago if we still have it and where is it. It takes him about a minute to remember where it ended up, and then goes and brings it back! It is truly something to behold. Yet he can't remember the 3 things I send him to the store for. Never fails. 2 or 3 things, he will forget something. Makes my head hurt. But we've always joked it takes both of us to make 1 normal person. Except you could probably question how normal that person is but that's a whole different story.

Hopefully we won't have another drama filled move this time. That last one - oh my word! I've been telling Fred he better stay healthy and he, of course, caught a bit of a head cold and we've all been avoiding him and making him take Vitamin C. Don't want to get hit with the plague again especially right when we need to move. And here's something weird. I've had lots of people offer to help us move. Come again??? I'm not really sure how to respond to that. Part of me is so use to people not being there that I'm like yeah, okay we'll see if you actually show up. And then the other part of me feels all panicky because I'm like how are we supposed to feed people?!?

Drama. I don't save it for my mama. I tend to let it kick me in the can and then back up over my head so I can feel all overwhelmed and refuse to come out of my blanket fort.

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Wheeeee!!

Because that is the sound you make when you are on a roller-coaster ride. Either that or AAAAHHH!! but I've already used that for a blog post title. I'm not really sure I've caught up with everything that has gone down this last month. And believe me, there was a lot of stuff and a lot of angst shoved in there for good measure. As only I can do with life, I guess.

Seriously hope you have a snack to carry you through, because this is going to be long. Matter of fact, close your eyes for just a few seconds to try and rest them up for this. Ya good? Good.

Right after J's b-day, serious teenage angst went down. For days. I'm standing there listening to the rants telling myself that jail isn't worth it and stripes really aren't my thing, so I needed to hear them out. Suddenly everything I say is crippling and damaging. I already know I've struggled with my tone of voice - I've joked I come from a long line of screamers. And I have been guilty of having a pretty hard bark. But when I come home from work and their chores aren't done and all they've done is goof off? Well, honey, buckle up for that chewing cuz y'all earned it! In their defense, that has only happened twice.

But the problem I'm having is they are constantly assuming they know what I'm thinking. I told their dad he has not taught them well if they think they can know what a woman is thinking. Talk about pressure! Now I have to stop and second guess myself over everything I'm saying. Then I get irritated and just end up saying nope, and let er rip! I had one say to me, you said this and I'm like, no I didn't. I said this. Well that means you think this. Noooo it doesn't! I never said that, thought that, or implied that!
Fred had to stepped in and said you guys are falling into a trap most men make. The main woman in your life is not your be all, end all. You guys can't look to your mom to validate you. That's not her responsibility or any woman for that matter, you have to get that from God. He then proceeded to pull out every John Eldridge book we own and told them to have it. I think M is more than half way through everything. A miracle has happened as N has picked up a book as well - voluntarily. And it's also a miracle Fred stepped in and calmed everyone down. Wait, that's not really a miracle because he just does that without really trying. It was just a miracle he was around when a major angst rant went down. But they've seemed to all chill so yay for John's books coming through again! (His book Killing Lions is really, really good for guys just leaving high school and collage age.)

We heard from our car insurance company. The guy is STILL in the hospital. He's having a lot of respiratory issues. About the time he gets out of ICU and into a room, he gets an infection and back down he goes. But they did get a lawyer and filed a claim. Thankfully our insurance company has decided to pay it to protect us. I have mixed emotions about it but want to just put it behind us and move forward. The lady did try to make us feel better as she said the guy isn't an upstanding citizen and has a very long history of criminal activities so we shouldn't feel bad. What can you say to that? And dude is white, so nobody better start any race junk.

Another round of angst was getting the mortgage company to commit. They finally said yes the day before we were to sign another year lease with the worthless rental company. A house popped up a few days before this that we were REALLY wanting, but it was sold the day before we were able to go house hunting. Talk about disappointing! We did find a house. Kitchen needs an update but other than that we are thrilled with it and we'll be moving in July. Tons of stuff has been going on regarding all that.

What has cracked me up is the guys picking out paint color for their rooms. Typical Fred - came home with like 10 books of paint samples. You should have seen the struggle and careful consideration that was going on. Who knew watching all this back and forth was going to be so entertaining? Except for J who took a whopping 1 minute to pick out a color verses M took days. N picked out the same color combo we had in our den at our old house. He changed his mind when I pointed that out because the green was more green than olive as the paint sample shows. But we're laughing because they all picked out different colors but all in the grey tone. They are their father's sons.

However, it's looking like we aren't going to have a whole lot of time to get in and get a lot of painting done before we move in. My mom, who is addicted to pain fumes, is all giddy with coming in and helping. J's room is going to need primer first as obnoxious green needs to go bye-bye real fast. Seems to be the in color. Every house we saw had green. Some a nice green and some not so nice. Like this bright celery green color.

Now the kickster. This house is like less than 5 minutes from a different Joann's store. Not the one I work at. I want to quit. I felt like God was telling me I needed to make myself available especially for the guys as 1 car 2 people thing is going to get challenging here real quick. Me working has helped out a lot. I like most of my coworkers a lot, but the customers about drive me batty. I've been told I can transfer to the closer store, otherwise if I quit and need to get a job again, I'm looking at another 3 months before I get hired. If I do put in for a transfer, I feel the honorable thing to do is go through with it. I don't want to get to new store and say just kidding! I was talking with all the guys and I said I know I'm scared. I'm scared of moving to something new and have more crap show up and not have a way to pay for it.

I've been wrestling with this for months. When overtime is available - Fred is all over it and we're doing good. But we all know overtime isn't always available. So that makes me nervous. And just like satan - I get a text from someone and she goes for it. Can you afford not to work? I can't really repeat what I wanted to say. I should have responded with thanks satan for asking! But I have a feeling it would have flown over her head. And probably caused some angst.

We were all praying last night and N called me out on being afraid. He was right. He had a word for me and it rang true. Gosh, whoever raised these guys really did do a few thing right! Now I just have to tell the main boss lady I'm quitting soon. If I told her I was quitting now, I'm pretty sure she would kill me on the spot as we have inventory next week. I'm going to finish out the month. Which is a good thing because I came home from work and Fred has an abscessed tooth and will finally be going to a dentist. He's only had a couple busted teeth for like 10 years and is horribly addicted to gummy bears. I can't even say I told you so because I've been an enabler.

And top it off, the worthless rental company is slapping us with a $700 bill to pay for the busted windows they never replaced from the neighborhood jerks. They are giving us till the end of the week to pay it and they won't take our phone calls. To say I'm livid is an understatement. Their lease is worded to screw over the tenant at every possible angle. Last week the whole basement flooded. Nailed our bedroom again. And why does it flood? Because they refuse to replace the back basement door and won't put in new drain pipes like it has been recommended several times over. So the water builds up at the back door and when the drain backs up out front, it pours through. I came home from work, got dinner done, we all ate, and here came the flood gates. Fred was at work so the guys had to help haul the shop vac up the stairs and dump it.

I feel like all I'm seeing is dollar signs for everything. I'm trying not to bust out the ramen noodles and tell everyone to eat PB sandwiches. Because these years have been hard. Devastatingly hard. The ride has been bumpy. Matter of fact, I'm pretty sure we've gone off the rails a few times to boot. And all you can do is hang on and hope you don't crash and burn. The weird thing is I've learned you can rise again even after the crashing and the burning. Although I'm not sure what it says about me that now I make sure to always have a bag of marshmallows ready to roast in case of anymore burning.
Does this mean I'm carpe diem-ing? Or I'm more messed up than what I think?

Friday, May 8, 2015

Limbo, Limbo, Limbo!!

Sounds like some sort of a dance. When did my life decide to take dancing lessons?!? And did it forget it has 2 left feet?

Not much news in a bunch of areas, so random smoosh because this is the only shot I have at making a blog post.

Found out the guy that Fred hit is still in the hospital with respiratory failure and has been on a vent. Yikes! We've been praying for his full recovery. And also that God would heal his brain for thinking he can walk in the road wearing dark clothes at 6 in the morning. Not that I'm bitter about it. I think it's more floored that someone would be that stupid.

The whole thing made it in the news. Pictures of Fred's car with the busted windshield on all the local channels was a bit surprising. I think what surprised us the most is how it was repeatedly reported that the driver stayed on the seen and was cooperating with police. Really? I guess it is very common and the cops were truly surprised he stayed and called the cops himself. He followed all the instructions of the operator and was about ready to preform CPR when the cops showed up and took over. I still feel really bad for the guy's family - someone has been in his room with him no matter what time of day it has been. I hope if they are in a suing mood they'll sue the city for not having sidewalks in that area and leave Fred out of it.

As if all that wasn't fun to deal with we've been having the water heater going out. Took the rental company a couple weeks to replace it. It was a toss up of did we have hot water or just kidding! Fred had a few days where he didn't have a shower because the scene from Groundhog Day where the guy leaps out of the shower came to mind.

Good times.

Said no one.

Ever.

I was at work last week and I was standing over an open drawer of patterns when I bumped my hand and the diamond in my wedding ring flew out. I looked down at the drawer and promptly muttered sh!t! We were about ready to leave for the night, the patterns were the last thing we were working on and now this. Thankfully I found the diamond, not in the drawer after we took the whole thing apart, but it had flew behind the stack of patterns I was putting away.

Then I had to suffer through a week without my rings because none of my rings will fit that finger. I felt so exposed and nekkid! I even had someone ask me if I was going through a divorce after noticing my lack of rings. I told my sad tale of woe to the nosy creeper. I'm always surprised and what people notice and have the gull to comment about. I then took slight pleasure informing her that her stack of coupons had all expired. Another moment where my issues decided to show up and top someone else's crazy.

It's not a competition, Joanna! Although in my defense if you had any idea how many times a shift I get comments about my name you would understand why I bring the crazy. There is only so many times before I go all extra snarky and bring it. Because this is what I hear and I have replied with this depending on the mood and the person because there are just people who can't take a joke.
"Hey do you own the store?" Why yes, yes I do. I'm just really into customer service.
"Are you the actual Jo-Ann?" No. I have an A on the end so clearly I can't be her even though she technically doesn't exist as the name was a combination of 2 daughters.
"Are you undercover boss?" Yes, and the A on the end is part of my secret identity.
"Since it's your store can you give us an extra discount?" Ah-ha- no.
"Do they give you an extra discount for your name?" No, but I have asked. Repeatedly.
"You should just have an arrow on your name tag pointing to the logo on the apron." No, because that will only confuse the mentally challenged people who would then ask me why is my name arrow, or if that was a symbol for peace in another language.

I wish I was kidding.

And before you say no one can be that ditzy than come on down to the city! Because we have every type of nut job you can imagine and a handful that you can't! Like the lady that cussed her phone out....in Klingon. Or the couple that were dressed like ghost-busters. I can make a list. But I don't have time. That's how long the list would be.

But Fred found a jewelry designer who not only fixed it, but made it better. Even resized the anniversary band and just made it look better than it ever did AND he didn't rake us over the coals. Whole thing cost us under a 100 bucks! Super happy! Turned a crappy situation into a wonderful blessing.

And speaking of blessing - we celebrated Jared who is now 16! Dude is still hilarious. He certainly can make any situation better to go through just through his shenanigans. He continues to be joy to be around even when he's being a bit a twerp. He's now 2 inches taller than Fred but those 2 will wrestle to the point where I'm concern for the furniture. My folks came down to wish him a happy b-day and the in-laws will be rolling in sometime tonight for a weekend visit.

Hoping for a good weekend and some nice weather, all while I try not to think about all the other junk floating out there. Because LIMBO!! Now I must do a conga line singing limbo, limbo, lim-bo!
OR I'll just lay down and take a nap. That sounds better.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Well Dunk My Butt In A Bucket Of Vinegar And Call Me A Pickle

Because we are in a pickle....again.

Why can't I seem to get it through my head that I'm not a normal person and therefore don't get to experience normal things in a normal way??? Normal people apply for a mortgage and provide their paperwork and done. For us? Not even close!

If you've been through a foreclosure, most lenders will turn you down flat. Doesn't matter that it was later determined that you were wrongfully foreclosed on because that doesn't show up on your credit report. You only get to apply for "special programs" for losers people like you.  It turns out that you can't even think of getting a mortgage until it has been 3 years after your house was yanked out from under you the sheriff's sale. We sat for 2 years in foreclosure status before that even happened. And heaven help you if your loan officer turns out to be a douche bag turd blossom like ours has been who has dragged his feet every.step.of.the.way. and doesn't bother to let you know little things like what paperwork is needed or if you're approved or not. Fred has had to email this guy constantly to get updates.

Our sad tale of woe had to go before an underwriter and special committee which we were supposed to know the outcome of all that weeks ago. We found out that the first committee turned us down because said turd blossom didn't bother to tell them the dates and all that jazz, so they thought we were a couple months shy of the okay we'll look in your general direction period. Had to get a copy from from old city to prove it has been more than 3 years and we are in the clear. We think he was going to let us get turned down without much of an explanation. Since Fred was on top of it, they are re-reconsidering. That was 2 weeks ago and we've heard nothing. Time marches on and we have to renew our lease with the worthless rental company by the end of this month. It's not looking good.

That banging noise you hear is me slamming my head into a wall to just end it all. Especially since all the houses we were looking at have all sold while they make up their minds. Which is confusing because we thought we already had approval for the loan or we never would have gone house hunting to begin with so there's that pickle. Since the guy tends to avoid us when there is bad news, we've come to the conclusion it's not going to happen. I think they are hoping we'll just slink away back to our sad little hole because how can he justify stringing someone along like that? We've already come up with Plan Q, which may stand for quit making plans because they don't work out.

Another pickle is last week - I can't even remember what day it happened - Thursday, I think? Fred was on his way to work about 6 a.m. It was dark, raining, no street lights, busy street. He got over into the lane for the highway ramp and there was a man walking in the street and Fred hit him. Fred is fine, the guy is still in ICU. The cops have said it wasn't Fred's fault, but we're still upset over the whole thing. The guy was wearing dark clothes, no flashlight to warn people he was there. That guy was going to get hit. It's too bad it was Fred. Car insurance won't pay for squat because we have everything but collision. But they have informed us that if we get sued by the guy they will handle all of it. Come again?

It was that last part that sort of made me snap. I asked if we could sue the guy for damaging our car and for being an idiot for walking in the road, in dark clothes while it was dark out. I've been told that's kind of cold so it sounds like that's a no. The car is fine, just needs a new windshield and we'll have to live with the dent in the hood for now. The frustrating part is we just got the guys' car back from the shop and now Fred is driving it until we can get the new windshield. Part of me is like yay we were prepared for once, while the other part is you got to be #@$! kidding me!!!! I don't blame him for not wanting to drive his car until it's fixed. I'm praying he doesn't relive the whole thing over and over. He's picked up a lot of overtime, I'm hoping that keeps him busy so he's not constantly thinking about it. He had to find another way to go to work because idiots down here walk in busy streets and act like they own the road.

All of this is right after me coming back from the homeschool convention. It was wonderful! We had tons of laughs, lots of encouragement, and I felt some serious nudges. But I'm really confused by those nudges. Mom is the heart of the home - she knows the pulse and what all is going on, but that only happens if she's actually home. (And not distracted but that's a whole different blog post.) I already know this and I haven't been happy at all about our current situation. I sort of got crappy with God saying hey, you want me home - make it happen. And then I came home to all this other mess going on and that just makes my head hurt even more.

Then my mother calls and goes off on me about the guys. I know our situation isn't normal, nor ideal, but it is what it is. And something new I'm facing, all those congratulations for homeschooling have now turned into digs about what are the guys doing NOW?! I'm still a firm believer to ask 19 year olds to figure out the rest of their lives has to be some form of insanity. They better know before they strap on all that debt of a student loan, because I know a lot of people that are having to work 2 jobs just to barely survive and for what? Most of them did not pursue or couldn't get a job in the field of their degree. So to just go to college because it's the normal thing to do? Well....that leaves me questioning normal. Seeking wisdom and putting together a plan doesn't seem to fit well with most people's normal.

Then again, all our plans have gone up in smoke, so apparently my 2 cents worth doesn't mean much.

There have been pluses and once a few more things line up, things are going to shift here. Although, it turns out the twins are better teachers than I am because Jared is already done with his schoolwork and is on summer break thanks to all their help. And Nicholas has everything graded! I should have put him in charge years ago! They've all stepped up and had to do stuff to help out that they normally wouldn't have had to do. So yay for learning lessons! But things need to shift and my problem is I wanted it to shift months ago. The guys were teasing me that I'm just presented with another opportunity to strengthen my patience muscle. Which I said they are still alive so my muscles are fully developed. That and I said bite me, can't wait to see you in the real world and how you get to put this into practice yourself.

We've known for many years I'm not the mature one of the group, but I still have Jared beat....by a little bit.

And in the midst of all this, God has put a few people on my heart to really pray for and to encourage them. Not exactly sure how well that is going to be received. I was in a session with Heidi St John and oh my gosh she is hilarious. She has a way of smacking you upside the head but not in a mean way. It was just truth and in a funny way, but when you really thought about what she said you realized you just got smacked. Things like not being distracted and really being there. Because we've all been there but not there, if you know what I mean. I'm taking notes like crazy and the whole time I felt like the Holy Spirit was saying so and so would really be encouraged by this. I'm all like, well they aren't here so sucks to be them, and kept going. Until it came time to buy some of those sessions on CDs. I felt that weight press on me and it was like I just lost 10 rounds of rock, paper, scissors and we hadn't even started yet. Nice to see I've matured somewhat and bought the CDs. We'll leave off that they are still sitting in the backpack and I haven't unpacked it yet. I got through step one with little resistance, so that has to count for something, right? Right?

I see a few things down the road that I need to make myself be available for, and I'm not sure how to make that happen. Sitting back and waiting on God to make it happen has not worked at all. Matter of fact, things got a lot worse until I said, 'fine, screw you I'll do it myself.' Not saying that is the best attitude to have, but there have been a lot of learning lessons along the way that makes me wonder if that was His intention all along and I was just a bit slow to pick up on it. For starters, God has been all over me about being bitter. My first response was me? Bitter? Ya think? I've been informed that was proving the point and the fact that I've so willingly embraced it is a problem. The sad thing is I actually wanted to justify why I was bitter and list all the reasons why....which...sounds......so.........bitter. 

Not fun to pickle myself with all the emotional stews we have going on. I hope someday all of this will make sense. I mean, I can't be the only cucumber out there that is surprised to find it has turned into a pickle. And the irony is I don't like pickles.