Thursday, January 31, 2008

Are You LOST??

Okay I admit it - I'm a LOST addict! I must say this season is so far turning out purty good. Only time will tell. But waaay better than last season - so far. Not that I'm bitter or anything. It's not like I've been held captive to watch the stupid show or anything. Nope, not me. Haven't gone half out of my mind trying to figure things out. Okay, I couldn't type that with a straight face. It's just that I have to know what happens!! We're talking a lot of tv time here wrapped up in this really warped show and I'm still hoping that somehow it will make sense - some day. So I will hold on till the bitter end.

Wonder what would happen if Jack Bauer crashed onto the island??

Marie did tag me and I'll play along - I'm just trying to figure out how to link old post. I'm still new to this so bear with me. When I get stuck then I'll really start to grovel and whine for help.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Squirrel Wars - The End

A long time ago (last summer) in a galaxy far away (back yard) there were a mess load of squirrels and a band of not having it people that the battle began.

At first our trusty band of people thought the squirrels were cute and a part of nature, but now they know the truth. They are secretly working for Evil Emperor Zerg and Buzz Lightyear was no where to be found as he's still stuck in his stupid box claiming hyper-sleep. Only a man can claim that and expect people to buy it.

At first Emperor Zerg sent his mafia raccoons with Rocky their leader telling the group of people that the boss didn't appreciate them moving in on their turf. Not only was Rocky blown off but he was sent back with an orange splatter on his furry behind.

The shame and mockery drove the little strung out crack-addict out of his mind and he came back with his posse to try and reclaim his position. This time he limped home with not one, but two splatters. And they never heard from him again.

Next, the gangsta squirrels seeing the raccoons tossed out on their rear decided to up their game. First, they had birds pelt the van and truck with lots of poo. The screams of horror were too much to bear. The squirrels threw their heads back in laughter until they too were tagged in the furry behind with orange paint as well.

Enraged at the sheer gall, the gangsta squirrels mocked our trusty band by playing basket ball with walnuts in the walls and ceiling to let them know that they haven't defeated them even after the pepper spray.

After a weekend of partying the squirrels came home to their crib only to find it sealed off. Unable to get to their stash they hung their heads in shame dragging their orange splattered butts away. All hope was lost for the gangsta squirrels unless . . .

Unless, Squeaky the lone squirrel that was still asleep in the walls can chew his way out and thus creating a new opening. With fresh air now cut off and food supply dwindling, Squeaky sniffed the new wood to see where it's weakness could be only to discover that it's treated wood. One bite of this and it's curtains for the lone gangsta. As he makes his way through the walls he notices a hole.

Creeping closer he smells something.

Squeezing through the slats, he makes his way closer to the light, not knowing that his movements have already been detected by one of the trusty band of people that now curse his very existence.

Squeaky found a stash of food and was greedily wolfing down his meal. He was so distracted that he didn't notice the door opening up behind him. He stopped in mid-chew feeling a slight breeze against his fur. He turned around and stared face to face with one of his nemesis.

He screamed, it screamed, and the door slammed as he scampered through the hole back into the dark safety of the walls.

All I can say is I want a squirrel tail key chain.

I can say that the little sucker did get out and we were able to fix it up so we are currently critter free. Except the mice but lets not go there shall we?

Friday, January 25, 2008

Squirrel Wars Part 2

Since a part of the ceiling did fall in from water my hubby did climb up there to give it a look. I was safely on the ground taunting him that they were up there waiting to pelt him with walnuts as payback for the gassing.

FYI - a man high off the ground on a ladder has zero sense of humor. Go figure.

He did find where squirrel manor was located and luckily for him the posse was out nut gathering some where else at the time. But this was going to be a project and would require extra help.

Since there is noooooo waay I was going to climb up there he talked with his Dad and they had a plan on what to do about it. We just had to wait for them to come up for a visit.

This same storm caused a huge hole in the porch roof and it was something that we, as in him, could take care of. The funny part was while he was out there fixing the roof etc there was a squirrel in a tree near the driveway and every time we walked by it would chatter like crazy.

Squirrel cussing full of angst. That was new for me. Had to be female the way this baby was going off.

Something about that squirrels constant yammering got under Mr. Mild-mannered's skin. He came in, grabbed his paintball gun, went out there and the thing was really chattering away.

You would think after all these years being married to me he would have learned to tune it out.

So in mid rant, he fired that sucker and it tagged the thing - in the butt!! I kid you not. I don't know how it managed to stay on the tree! He lined it up again - bang! thwak! ugh - tagged it again! Dude was on a roll.

I, however, couldn't stop laughing and put my absorbent material to the test. Joys of children and all. More like fine print no one ever warned you about. *ahem*

In-laws (more fine print) were up a few weeks after that and the guys got it done. It was so nice not to have squirrel manor.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Squirrel Wars

We thought we were safe. What we didn't know was that Rocky sent the squirrels. Our house is old and sort of broken up into parts upstairs. I think the bathroom area was added on. I use this term loosely as it's more like a bath closet rather than a room.

This seemed to be squirrel manor. The clawing, the squeaking, the slam dancing was all a royal pain. If you pounded on the wall close to them you could hear them fall down the wall which did give me a small feeling of joy and much laughter from the boys.

I think we have issues or something.

I noticed much angst one morning. I think the squirrels were angry that day. Don't know why - it's not like we pepper sprayed the attic or anything. Oh, yes we did!

This is what I get for wishing my husband would declare holy war on the squirrels.

We had a pretty heavy rain storm and part of the upstairs ceiling caved in from water. I think what set hubby over the edge was the amount of walnuts that fell through.

It was a tense moment. Even the kids backed away when we saw the walnut mess. If a squirrel would have poked through and said 'dude, could you give me back my nuts' (I couldn't resist) I think my husband would have gone off.

He did what any Mr. Handyman would do. He gassed the area, boarded up the ceiling, and got all the mess cleared up just before another storm blew through.

I should say it was pepper spray and it did clear the area. It's moments like this I'm glad the houses on either side of us are for sale.

All had been quiet that is until one fateful day. I went to use the upstairs bathroom and I swear the fury little critters were back and in full force. They were tapping Morse code on the wall right behind me. They must be wearing gas masks or something. Now I had to figure out Morse code because I'm sure I heard a threat in that little rappy-tap-tap.

To make sure I'm really aware that they meant business they were playing basket ball with walnuts as well as slam dancing in the attic area. I wonder how bad it would be to take out the walnut tree in the back yard. It was so loud that the guys decided to have commentary - 'he dodges, he shots, he SCORES!' oh yes it was that bad.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The End of Rocky Raccoon

The little pusher was back a few more times. Each time he escaped an ambush only to hit early morning. I could just picture him snapping his little paw at us with each thing he threw off the porch.

Yet the antifreeze remained.

Days passed and still he eluded us. Traps were laid out and none were sprung. The tension was mounting with the men folk. And then it happened.

Rocky and posse were cruising the town ready to head back to their crib. Sense it was on the way they thought they would knock over old reliable now that they knew how to pop the door off the hinges. (That about sent my husband through the roof.)

Vinnie waddles over to the bin and badda-boom, badda-bing it was open. Life was good.

Except they made too much noise. This alerted me and since I was willing to gas the little addicts I went and got my husband. Boxer shorts, check. Slippers, check. Paintball gun, check. Opening up the back door and hosing four raccoons - priceless.

The funny thing was Rocky was number five and like last time ran up the tree near the porch. When he thought the coast was clear he came down and ran down the driveway. I spotted him and my husband went flying out the front door and nailed the sucka in the butt - TWICE. The only thing that could have topped it was if he would have been run over by a semi-truck. Squish!

Hey, what's the point of being a redneck if you aren't going to have some animal cruelty thrown in for good measure?? And the only reason why I qualify as a redneck is "if your Daddy lives in a gated community - prison you might be a redneck."

Since he's out does this mean I'm not a redneck anymore??

The scary part of all of this was that the paintball gun was LOUD! And it was like 2 in the morning. So after splattering Rocky I shut all the lights out and was going to pretend to be asleep in case anyone, say the cops, came knocking on our door. Thankfully nothing happened. But boy did we laugh about it for days.

Ah, the thrill of victory.

So my husband opens one of his Christmas presents from his folks to see a raccoon stuffed animal with an orange splatter mark on it's butt. The thing even squeaks too. I thought it was funny.

I've heard there might be a bullet riddled squirrel for next year. My FIL had a piece of the squirrel action. Okay, that just sounds really wrong. Retract: My FIL helped us get rid of squirrel manor.

I'm still convinced that Rocky sent the squirrels.

On a side note: it's freezing here!!! It is so cold I had to take my hair dryer and thaw out the washing machine so I could do some laundry. Brrr!!

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Saga of Rocky Raccoon Part 2

Well, never, NEVER underestimate the power of raccoon crack (aka dog food). Rocky was back but this time he didn't throw the bin off the porch. But his boldness got my husband in a mood.

You know those moods? Full blown, testosterone, must kill something or at least cause it pain mood? It was starting to effect the children.

They talked ALL day about taking down Rocky. Hubby had even stayed up late a few nights to try and tag the little sucker. Rocky does have a criminal past and can smell an ambush a mile away and was a no show.

This caused much angst, wailing and gnashing of teeth, and all around disappointment with the men folk.

That just doesn't seem normal right.

But I think Rocky was hanging out in the attic with the squirrels because they were slam dancing a up there the next day. Maybe he's got the squirrels on it too. Since the squirrels were here first maybe they're peddling the stuff - who knows?!

I was starting to worry that Rocky was packin' and would slash our tires if we tagged him.

And speaking of the squirrels!! Husband in maniacal mood + resistant critters = destructive AND disturbing plans to take them out. Why do they wait for you to take a drink of something before they say something like the possibility of 'gassing the attic'.

"You're gonna do what???" I screeched after I sprayed my drink and horffed up a lung.

He said that he knows where they are getting in and doesn't want to fix the hole with the squirrels still inside so he's thinking of pepper spraying the attic to get them out.

Oh dear Lord, please tell me he's kidding.

I think I had just stuttered that out when I got this really funny mental image. Leave it to me to see the twisted side of something!

Picture this yellow cloud seeping out of the roof with a butt load of squirrels pouring out of the hole rolling right off the roof. They're half crawling, half scurrying across the driveway hacking their little heads off. In squirrel chatter they squeak 'save yourselves!'

This is what I get for wanting my husband to declare a holy war on the squirrels. Which makes me wonder would they band together with Rocky and attack?

I was joking about this possibility when that night Rocky brought reinforcements.

There were scratch marks on the door of the bin as well as teeth marks on the part that's latched so you know he's getting desperate for another fix. We thought that since Rocky is already an addict what's a little poison (anti-freeze) to go with his crack?

I guess we've insulted him as he brought his posse with him and they threw several things off the porch all while leaving the sweet nectar of poison untouched. Clearly this was one ticked off raccoon. What the little critter didn't realize is now he's done ticked ME off!!

My children were laughing with glee as their momma started making suggestions for taking down Rocky. I even offered to gas the little perp.

This got the boys' creative juices flowing and they were drawing pictures to diagram their trap ideas (be veeerry glad you can't see what they came up with). They were so excited to show their Dad all their gross and disgusting ways to get rid of a severely strung out raccoon.

We are way beyond tough love here, folks.

Since I had to go to the store to get more dog food because the little pusher has knocked over the bin, I was praising my boys for their very creative (and disturbing) ways they wanted to eliminate a raccoon.

As I gaze at the pictures of dismembered raccoons, with red ink to show the blood, a tear came to my eye. The boys winked at each other in triumph thinking they've done their momma proud, but that wasn't what made my eyes water.

It's the realization that we have absolutely

Friday, January 18, 2008

The Saga of Rocky Raccoon

This was posted on my other blog and I'm putting it here with some tweaking to it. We have an old house and we've had a time evicting the critters. Some of it was pretty annoying but most of it was funny. It started with this.

Riddle me this: Why am I the one always stuck holding the flash light??? Oh, please let me explain. I think my husband might be living a double life. First, insert some James Bond theme music or Mission Impossible going through your head.

Got the visual?

Last year Thing1 got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night when he discovered a bat flying around. Thankfully he didn't make a puddle on the spot and after relieving himself in the proper place called my attention to it.

After I hit my own frequency my hubby was all over it! Hit the thing in mid-air but the little booger got behind the pantry area and managed to evade us. A week later same thing happened only I saw where it went.

So I'm the one standing on the chair holding the light (freaking out) while my man was able to get to it and squish it. The worst part was the boys laughing at me and making the very noise of 'squeak, squeak, crruunnch, ugh' that the bat made right before he squeaked his last.

I'm still not living this one down.

We had yet another winged creature pay us a visit thanks to my FIL. We were fixing the wood burning stove and he left a nice gaping hole in the chimney. A bat somehow got in that way and lucky me was still up when this happened.

I ran up the stairs calling for my husband in the best 'Get your butt out here right now' voice without the volume to wake the kids. The bat, sensing that I knew something it didn't decided to follow me up the stairs. (I still had no idea I could move that fast). I got into our bedroom and closed the door just in time to FEEL the thing smack into the door. I was hopping up and down spasing out so there was no way the dude was going to sleep through that and he kicked bat butt.

But once again I was holding the flash light as he knocked the thing out of the air sending it cart-wheeling to its doom. After getting rid of the remains he came down and covered the hole. My hero!! (And no child witnesses where present to mock their mother.)

Still got the music going? Good.

For a while we had noticed that our dog food bin that is outside was slightly tipped forward with the door opened. Hubby locked the door to the bin.

Apparently dog food is raccoon crack.

I was on the computer blogging late one night when I heard this loud crash. When I looked out the window the raccoon addict got pretty ticked off that his supply was cut off and had pushed the bin off the porch and was trying to pick the lock.

I went up stairs to go to bed because I'm not going out there to confront a strung out raccoon trying to get his fix. I informed my husband of all of this and (build up on the music here) when I said 'it's still out there' he leaped out of bed. I'm not talking about getting out of bed. I'm talking from laying down to jumping up, (keeping with the theme) flipping through the air, landing in his slippers and ran down the steps. Me, being stupid, I mean loyal had to see my man in action knowing it is something to behold so I ran after him.

Since we're in town he couldn't use a *ahem* permanent solution but got his paint-ball gun instead. My smart self said 'yeah, that will teach him. We'll get him so confused he'll think he's already tripping out'. This only got me 'the look' while he hands ME the flash light and went out the back door.

It's at that moment I'm asking myself why didn't I just go to bed. I also had another thought, shocking I know. The one holding the flash light is basically the spotter and the shooter asks the spotter if he hit it. I knew I was in a pickle as I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn so I couldn't be the shooter, but I wasn't thrilled with being the spotter to watch up close and personal the slaughter.

My thoughts slowed down. I pictured, in slow motion, Rocky Raccoon looking up just in time to take a paint-ball in the cheek, throwing his head back and to the left. His tongue flaps out while his eyes roll back into his head. Before he can recover he's pelted with three shots to the body causing him to do a half-gainer off the porch. Time starts to come back to normal speed when I realized that dude was laying on the heat.

Rocky Raccoon was running up the tree near the porch with paint hot on its heels. And wouldn't you know it, I was asked if he hit it. I am so not liking being the spotter. To be honest is was so dark and happened too quick to know if he pelted the thing or not.

When we were back in our bedroom, we crept over to the window and pulled back the curtains to see if Rocky Raccoon was in the tree or on the roof having a heart-attack. We both started laughing expecting to see a strung out raccoon with orange paint splattered all over it ready to jump towards the window to extract his revenge.

Well it was late at night and the adrenaline and all. I knew I should have just gone to bed.

If Rocky Raccoon doesn't learn his lesson, I'm going to leave a trail of raccoon crack back to the dog area and let the dog handle it old school. Now, if only my hubby would declare holy war on the squirrels that are bowling in the attic and doing the mambo in the walls, life would be more exciting. But flash-light!!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Devil and Friends

I let my angst get to me and I went to a different store to shop. What's the line about a well laid plan and were to lay it??

For all the talk about Wal-Mart being the devil, or at least a close friend, they got the competition beat on prices. Take for instance microwave soups. Meijer price was $2.28 while Wal-Mart was $1.58. That is just ONE example of almost everything I bought!! I can not express how painful it was to put things in my grocery cart knowing it was costing me more.

So this 'light' grocery trip still turned into a butt load of money. Grr. The boys all said dump the cart and lets go to wally world, but that would not go over well with hubby. We came, we shall conquer, and I'll complain about it later.

And just to prove things like to travel in groups - Yahoo 360 is the devil. I know you might be thinking I'm a bit obsessed with the dark one but when you have relatives that are on first name basis with him, you are aware of his existence.

Anyway, back to point. Yahoo is having issues I guess with their 360 blogs. A friend of mine got me started blogging on a yahoo blog. One of my reasons for blogging is to connect with other people. Stay at home mom + home school the kids = a woman on the edge of sanity.

The down side is Yahoo 360 only lets other 360 users comment. Not the best way to get comments and meet new people. There are some things I do like about it but lately it's been acting screwy. Then it turns out that they will be changing formats but they aren't letting people know much about anything.

Like will my posts still be there??

So I will be pulling some of those posts and putting them over here every now and then because I have no idea if the plug is pulled if they will survive. One of my favorites is the tale of Rocky Raccoon. I do have a reason for sharing this story. To just put out there the gag gift my in-laws got their son would have no meaning to y'all unless you've read the story, nay, the saga behind it.

I just have to figure out how to do this.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I Hope No One Was Looking

So I went to grab the trash thing and drag it back to the house after all my running around yesterday. Let's just say things were a bit slippery *ahem*. Too bad we live on a very busy street. I'm surprised there wasn't a pile up of cars from loosing control as they were too busy pointing and laughing.

Something tells me I wasn't as graceful as this bear. Oy. Just grin and bear it!

Politics - You Can't Get Away From Them

Michigan had it's primary and the votes are already in. But the election had me thinking all day and Monday night we had a church meeting. And then I have a few emails from family. It seems like politics is in every area of our lives - whether we realize it, like it, or not.

It seems every area is up in the air - what's going to happen with our country, what's going on with the economy, what's going on with church, what's going on with family. It seems that life is a series of ups and downs - unstable.

The definition of unstable is easily upset, changeable, unreliable, emotionally or psychologically unsettled, chemical - tending to decompose.

Wow. I think that sums it all up. If I find myself feeling unstable I should run through this list and ask myself what's going on. For a few months I've had this nagging thoughts/feelings just floating in the back of my mind. Sort of always there under the surface. After reading what unstable is I think I know what my problem is.

I've been challenged on 'am I trusting God?' today. I was thinking about it tonight. Since I've been feeling this way than I would say that's a big N-O. I told my husband I tell God every day that I trust Him yet I find that my actions and reactions all say no I don't a thousand times over.

That is so frustrating. Trying to line up my words with my actions.

I will say that I think it's exciting to see the primaries. Before you gag let me explain. For years every time these things would roll around I ALWAYS thought - this is what we get to vote on??? I'll take the lesser of 5 evils, please. You look at the other side and think, oh no they're no better! But it seems that this time around is a bit different - change is on the horizon.

Let's just pray it's good change!

For something to just sit there is to be stagnant and full of toxins so to see people coming out in droves makes me feel that maybe this country still has a pulse and possibly alive. Vote your beliefs and may the best person win.

Of course the cynical side would mutter, then I'll only have to take the lesser evil of 2. But I'm trying to see a more positive out look on life here. I'm baby stepping, okay?

Monday, January 14, 2008

I Got An Award!!

Kellan gave me this award. She is sooo sweet. I can plop out a total snoozer and she'll still leave me a comment. Thanks Kellan!! I love reading her stuff. She is so positive no matter what she goes through - unlike me. I have no idea how she found me but I'm glad she did.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Dear Wal-Mart...

The boys woke up with anticipation. The day was slightly stalled as they waited for their Dad to get home. They wolfed down their food and encouraged the adults to follow suit. They shoved us out the door. They wiggled with excitement all the way to wally world. They leaped from the van and ditch the old fogies and they walked/jogged to the toy area.
The loud gasp was audible from three lanes over. The fogies caught up not even winded to find full blown rants of angst being played out in public. The toys were mostly gone and tags were every where as Wal-Mart was doing a re-set/inventory. The impudence, the inhumanity - and I zoned out on the rest of the ranting.
Grammy said let's try another store. We dashed over to Meijer where they had a few new ones thus scoring a few points. We went off to Target to score big time except no green. For whatever reason the twins have color coded themselves from the time they were very little. To have no green is to have no sunshine.
Next store, another Wal-Mart and it was national re-set for the wally world across America. Curse you AquaScum. I'm shopping at Meijer this week! We had to drive all the way down to Rip You Off Toys R Us and he got the beloved green and all was right within the land.
My husband made a comment that a least with women you can toss them a bag or three of chocolate and the beast is tamed but boys seems to be a different story. Trouble is he said that right in front of his mother who couldn't stop laughing. This does not bode well for our heroine who is the watcher and keeper of spawn.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

My Heart is a Swoonin!

I stumbled down the steps yesterday not fully awake to see a card right by my glasses. Pick eye booger, place glasses on face, open envelop, get paper cut, muttered about paper cut while eyes focus on card. Read card.

Awww! How sweet! Let out nice sigh and lightly walk to the kitchen for some wake me up juice.

See note pad near tea bag. Make mental note to shake up routine as I'm predictable as mud.

Pick up note pad and read:

More than the moon on a clear, crisp night
More than the rain on a warm summer day
More than the sun on a cool, misty morn
I love you

More than the air within my lungs
More than the blood within my veins
More than the water within my throat
I need you

More than the wealth of all the nations
More than the fame of a thousand kings
More than the glory of a million heroes
I want you

More than the life I have in my hands
More than the songs I have in my voice
More than the world I have in my reach
I love you

More than anything else, I love you

All together now - awww!! Dude wrote it all by himself. He can be quite the poet when he wants to. He wrote a poem asking me to marry him. Sigh. Now if he could just keep that up I could stay in constant gooey mode.

Stayed in gooey mode rest of the day. God took over my MP3 as I put it on shuffle and the songs that came up - let's just say it spoke volumes to me. An added bonus was I was jamming out to music that I didn't hear phones ring and missed calls from both my parents.

God is so good.

My bestest buddy came over and brought me bread, chocolate, and books. If I were a cat I would be purring right about now. We had tea and *adult conversation!* that had nothing to do with bionicles. Again, thankya Jesus.

Another friend watched the boys - even fed them - and I had a date with my husband! We were finally able to talk about some things. All the drama of my parents has not helped our marriage. So it was nice to reconnect.

Went to pick up our kids and got a bag of goodies with some tea and more chocolate. And this is why I love them! Granted the tea wasn't tequila but it started with a T so that's close enough for me. Besides I was only going to use that in case of Mom emergency.

I just found out the in-laws are already on their way up. So I'm going to go crack open that chocolate and I'll be back in a few days. Tequila anyone??

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Cruella and Howard the Coward

So my folks are at it again. This one has me scratching my head. I want to make shirts saying "I slapped the bear and survived". It would so be a big seller - okay maybe just with my family.

Christmas Eve dinner - better a dry crust of bread in peace than a feast full of strife. Dinner went well it was the after moments that left a lot to be desired. Thing2 came out swinging again. I have to say it was interesting because in the past if one of the twins gets too upset that he can't get it all out the other one will take over and speak for him.

Thing1 has been the one that has acted out the most over all of this, but in Cruella's presence he hasn't said one word. So not like him that I had to ask. He said that when he prayed God told him to keep his mouth shut cuz he would not have been nice while Thing2 was so gentle about it.

But pearls before swine and all that - she didn't even hear him out and yelled at him like the scary woman that she is. All while my Dad, a.k.a. Howard the Coward wouldn't get involved. Momma bear, me, backed my Mom in a corner so fast that she tried to back pedal on several things but I continued to nail her.

It was a proud moment and to be honest I have been strutting around singing I Won't Back Down. All at the same time down right scary that they left me holding the bag and didn't bother to tell us or warn us. Not cool.

I am so grateful that I had been reading this book on Boundaries. I haven't finished it due to the fact that I've been taking a ton of notes. It said to take responsibility for your actions, feelings whatever. I've been sitting here expecting my folks to actually care. Most normal people would but I think I'm waay beyond normal.

This leaves me with not caring what their opinion is - on anything. So yeah for me I stood up and didn't fall for all the manipulation. My Mom would pout and sulk if things don't go her way. Since I'm not striving to get her approval, which as my MIL pointed out wouldn't happen any way, it doesn't bother me.

Enter new tactic, both my parents are now telling me I'm too stupid to home school my kids. What?? Okay, I may not be the sharpest pencil in the box but I'm not the dullest either. But dang, the 25 little hints are getting to be pretty annoying. I was telling my friend this - I get off the phone with her and phone rings while it's still in my hand.

I should have paused and waited to hear scary music. I press the button and answer hello like a lamb to the slaughter house. "Did you call and get information on that stuff I told you about that you really need to get?" Nope, haven't had time, I reply. Whoever invented caller id - God bless you!! I just need to make sure I use it and not assume someone called back.

Long story short, I already have insecurities about myself and there isn't a week that goes by that I'm not in prayer asking God am I really doing right by the boys. To have people in your life that at one point was in your corner turn on you and poke at your owies doesn't make for a happy day.

My uncle told me that things are being exposed that were already there. My MIL and my uncle both have made statements that have thrown the light on in the room. Kind of weird as I've never had that before. Makes a lot of sense.

He did point out that we don't wrestle with flesh and blood but spiritual powers and that I need to keep praying. Pity, cuz I could so take the grey hair down. Which if you think about it is enough to give me the willies - you mean there is something even uglier than this I'm dealing with? Oy Vey!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Back In The Saddle

Yes, it's time to blow the dust off our school books and get back at it. With everything that had been going on our school stuff has been very hit and a lot miss. I was all geared ready to go full throttle until I woke up not wanting to get out of bed and my head has been pounding the mambo ever since.

I drank the caffeine, took the pain reliever and it hasn't budged. Well, I'll muddle through it that is until I cracked open the book and we have to tackle problems like this. I so feel this way about the boys' school stuff. You want X there it is now leave me alone. What do you mean you want to know how I came to this conclusion? It's right there in front of your face! And yet this book is suppose to educate us?? Me thinks the author needs some schooling - can't even find an X for pete's sake! *snort*

Saturday, January 5, 2008

I'm Shocked, Stunned, and Grieved

I got a Christmas news letter from dear friends of ours that moved last year. I'm still mad that they moved away but I think I'm slowly getting over it. Did I mention they moved last year? I like to pace myself, I guess.

The letter was saying how all of their 8 kids were doing - you read that right too, 8 kids. Was looking at the changes in them when I get to the part that she has breast cancer. I think my mouth hit the table - still hurts.

Ever have a tidal wave of emotions hit you at once? I had to re-read the letter a few times because this had been going on for months and I was just NOW finding out about it. It said in the letter that they weren't taking phone calls. I snorted and grabbed the phone willing someone to pick it up or promising this would get ugly.

I think someone picked up on that and answered. The sadness in his voice squeezed my heart. He put his mom on the phone. My feisty friend sounded so weak and was getting out of breath just from talking. She said it's been too emotional to tell people so she gave up. She has to do chemo for 6 months and from what little she said it's aggressive. I said leave it to her to get an aggressive anything and she busted out laughing.

She's taking everything in stride but it left me speechless. What could I possibly say? I said well this sucks and she agreed. Her oldest is 19 and the youngest is 3. I'm off to pray.

Friday, January 4, 2008

I Was Right!!

Wanna take a guess what we did last night and where we went? I'll pause as you ponder the depth of our travels. Try lack of travels but hey I can dream.

Wal-Mart now gets a double, nay, triple "Curse You AquaScum!!!" with fist shake of angst.

I was right, well sort of. I had to go look and sure enough there was the mysterious games that had disappeared for gameboy right before Christmas. But not all of them made it back which got me a look from older two. I gave them back the look of get over it holder of MP3 player. They nodded sheepishly and let it drop.

We just had a whole discussion of don't go there and acknowledgement that parent is right without uttering one word. And they say communication is a lost art.

But the youngest one was crushed and now there was one of the elusive prizes of joy right before his eyes. Panic must have gripped his cheese dust covered heart and he started in with the pleading and begging which quickly turned into the gnashing of the teeth - mine. Curse you AquaScum for causing my child so much angst.

Bless his cheese covered heart, but not happening - besides Grammy and Pap are coming up next week. This did settle him down. But Wal-Mart - strike one.

Then, as if this wasn't enough, we got too stinking close to the toy area. Darn that truck for needing new wipers - in the winter. As we are shuffling past the toys trying to distract them with gasp! new plastic bins to hold all their crap in all to no avail. What should my boys spy? Brand NEW Bionicles!! As in new to the whole line. Where was this just a few weeks ago?? CURSE YOU AQUASCUM!! Strike two.

Again, the ploy of Grammy and Pap are coming next weekend and will take you shopping was the only way we got out of there somewhat unscathed. That is until we checked out. I'm now thinking of using prison rations - crust of bread and glass of water. Give them some thing to bond with the grandparents. Okay, that was bad.

Yes, we snack probably way too much. But I try to make the cookies to stay away from words I can't pronounce in an attempt to eat healthier. Hey, Rome wasn't built in a day I'm baby stepping here! Not to mention when company comes you need extra food - to feed a horse.

I was muttering all the way to the truck because the van still doesn't have the brakes fixed. On a side note I just got a call - is a rear wheel ball bearing really important to replace? A little loose isn't bad is it? Brake line needs fixed and some cylinder thing but that ball bearing thing is really expensive.

I'm sitting here wondering how in the world we're going to pay for this when I'm suddenly swarmed. My boys like to hover which serves me right as I'm a smother mother. Ye-es? I ask preparing the we ain't made of money speech when they want to know if they can go on Bionicle dot com. They add the dot com which cracks me up, but that's not my point. I'm now being pestered to get off the web so they can have a go at it.

Curse You AquaScum! Is nothing sacred? I'm now starting to think that we should shop some where else. Maybe a place that just sells groceries except they are more expensive.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Hidden Nutritional Value

My youngest boy loves him some cheese chips, cracker, anything he can get his hands on as long as it has cheese dusting on it. He eats with such gusto that it's hard to believe that this is the boy that stares at his dinner plate like I'm trying to feed him monkey brains, a side order of arm of octopus - with suction cups, and a large helping of cow tongue.

If you are thinking that is a rare delicacy then you my friend have stumbled upon the wrong blog. Best to move on before I insult your culture or something.

I had just watched him eat a bowl of some cheddar cheese chip thing and then he licks each finger with as much happiness as an 8 1/2 year old boy can muster. He just said he hates mustard *pause as I explain to him the difference and that he needs to stop looking over my shoulder or better yet leave the room*.

Where was I? Oh yes, boy slurpin away on his fingers. I asked him if he's that hungry would he like some more. He stopped in mid-lick and got this weird look on his face.

What? I asked.
More? he asked.
Yeah. I said.
Can you do that? he asked all excited.
Do what? I stupidly asked.
Get more boogers out of my nose?
Please tell me that's not what you were, uh, licking.
Okay, that's not what I was licking.
What were you licking?
You said not to tell you.

My question is, if you gag and a little bit of barf gets swallowed does that mean it's twice the calories?? And where does that fall on the food pyramid? Let's see what did I have for lunch - hold on a sec - rrraaaallff!! Looks like some meat, dairy, something else, and you know there is going to be chocolate in there somewhere.

Oh the joys of having boys. Maybe if I sprinkle some cheese dust on that cow tongue. . .

Tuesday, January 1, 2008


May this new year be better than all the other years combined!

Well, we went to the youth lock in and things went pretty good until the power went out. We had to call all the parents and as we waited for them to show up the emergency lights slowly went out.

Someone crumpled up a wad of paper and we all flipped open our cell phones and counted down as our 'ball' slowly dropped. Lots of whooping and hollering "Happy New Year!" Then the parents showed up and we kicked them all out.

We loaded up our kids and came home in the nastiest weather so far and prayed everyone made it home safely. And can I tell you just how thankful I was to sleep in my own bed last night rather than be in fear of someone doing something to me?!! There were safe areas but we were all warned if you pass out in an open area all bets were off.

Kids all had fun but were all bummed it got cut short. I didn't even have to get mean and snarky which was good because I didn't have it in me. It was funny to see these kids guzzle energy drinks and then run back and forth and hop up and down. Hee hee - bet the parents weren't happy to get their jazzed teenagers back. They were hopping to have worn out kids who would sleep all day instead they had them climbing the walls going a hundred miles a minute. Oh well.

Hope y'all had a good and safe New Years time!