Sunday, May 4, 2008

No Vermtech Degree Required

Well the weekend went rather well. The guys did find the opening and did fix it so take that supa squirrel!

Lots of little tid bits were fixed around the house. I was really glad FIL could help hubby out as most of the time it's all on him. I do all the painting but beyond that not much help. Oh except the cooking, cleaning, paying bills, and trying not to kill of the spawn - all while trying to teach them something so they can be productive adults. Ahem!

Bizarre part was CJ wanted to go to CiCi's pizza. It's a pizza buffet and they have (gag) macaroni and cheese pizza. Cheese pizza + macaroni and cheese = cheese heaven. I think he was planning to bring some cheese dust just to finish it off. The weird part was the closest one to us was shut down with eviction notices taped on the door. Okay.

So we went across town and pulled up just in time for there to be a notice of closure due to faulty equipment. ??? Are you kidding me?? Luckily for us he was a very good sport about it and we ended up going to Culver's that was around the corner.

In-laws took us to Olive Garden for lunch today after church. Totally rawk! And yesterday MIL took just me and we went to Payless and she bought me two pairs of shoes. We then went to Fashion Bug and I bought a few things. I tried on a truck load of clothes because normally I don't even get the chance to look let alone try on clothes.

Who would have thought that my MIL treats me better than my own mother? We had fun looking a different things. We both commented that there seems to be butterflies on everything this year and both of us noticed that a lot of tops have been extra clingy to the mid-drift.

Who thought this was a good idea, anyway??

Oh Mr. Fashion person that designs clothes. I know you are probably use to designing clothes for the sick and emaciated but do you have to use material that clings to the tummy area?? Even non fat girls have their muffins put in a strangle hold lately and it's just not flattering no matter what size we are - so could you use some common sense for a change and knock that off?!! Thank you.

I tried on this cute top. At least it was cute until I put it on me. One of those oh so cute - on the hanger. All the print was right around my butt, gut, and hips yet it had my girls in a vice grip that had them asking me what did they ever do wrong to be treated that way. And then I caught a glimpse of myself from the back.

Holy crap!!

Did someone shove something up my back when I wasn't looking?? Maybe if I can turn my head all the way around I could have bigger boobs from the back fat, a flat back that could be a flat stomach but then I would be stuck with my butt as a lower gut.

Umm, me thinks not!

Needless to say that was depressing. I tried on several of those shirts that not only clinged to my stomach but it was so tight you could count the stretch marks. Wow. Where was the comfort food when I needed it? Of course after seeing myself in a mirror I don't think I should eat - ever again!

I'm totally cute - from the neck up. But then my hair has been falling out plus going grey. Do the grey ones fall out?? NOOO! Those are the strong ones. I tell ya I'm getting nervous that I'll end up looking like Grandma Bernard...

only bald.

I told my husband I hope he finds this attractive

as I've noticed some similarities from my last visit with my Mom. Oh I kid but there are days it's just down right sad.

But other than looking baggy and saggy we had a good time.


Julie said...

Hey! How did you get that picture of me??? *rofl* ... At least you're cute from the neck up. Me, I'm not cute ANYWHERE! *sob*

I have a little easier time finding clothes... I just buy tents from the plus size section. *sigh*

Joanna said...

Julie - I'm with ya. I was on the plus side of Fashion Bug. Where fat women can pretend to be 17. Whee.

Anonymous said...

What I found worse than the clingy shirts was the shorts this year. They fit like saran wrap. Let's just show off all the cellulite, thanks.

Kellan said...

You make me laugh - baggy and saggy!! I'm glad you had a good time.

Good to see you too - I've missed you. Take care - Kellan

Shellie said...

Those grey hairs are made of steel, i tell you! Shopping for clothes is a painful, painful job. They make tops nowadays that for the life of me I don't know how anyone who's not built like a soda straw can get in and out of. I'm afraid I may one day have to buy something I am halfway stuck into cause I can't get it off!

Anonymous said...

Yep, those grey hairs are tuff. When they first come in, they stand up and wave so everyone can see them. But, you really know you are getting old when THEY start falling out. Mine are. sigh And speaking of clothes, I put my bra on backwards the other day and it fit better. :):) Margie

Kerri said...

Girl you CRACK me up. You are beautiful head to toe!

I know what you mean about Fashion Bug though. I went there not TOO long ago, and for me, I hate the sleeveless or super short sleeves on everything. I have arms that keep waving long after I've stopped, and it's just not something the world needs to see.

That and the super tight clothes. Someone other than a MAN or a size 2 needs to make plus size clothing, yes? WHEN will people realize you can't dress a size 2 and a size 20 in the same outfit?

Oh the humanity!!!

Nap Warden said...

Well that's a really cute picture:)

Holly said...

You are so funny! Aside from being too fat for the store, I could never walk into a Fashion Bug and find something. Even Lane Bryant is a bit too tendy/youngish for me these days!

Love that you have such a great MIL. That is a real blessing!

Don Mills Diva said...

You crack me up.

I can't stop thinking about macaroni and cheese pizza - gross!

Anna K. said...

Sounds like CiCi's was involved in some kind of pizza conspiracy...?

Three-way mirrors, being enclosed in a small stall that smells like feet, trying on a stack of clothes that I know won't look good on me.....cruel and unusual punishment, Honey!! Hurry up and pass the chocolate!

And speaking of fashion blunders for the everyday woman...What's the deal with the upsurge of horizontal stripes?! Yes, please design something that makes me look even broader than a dairy barn *eye-rolling*.

I'm glad that you had a pretty good weekend, Joanna!

tommie said...

This totally made me laugh! I know what fits my body and I stick to that. If I find pants or shorts that fit, I buy them in multiple colors (I have a range of khaki, black, & denim) I can throw in splashes of color with tops or accessories. But dang if it isn't a pain to shop!

Joanna said...

You guys are funny!! Margie I choked on my water when I read your comment.

And for the record at one point my MIL hated my guts and I can't say I cared for her guts either. It's truly been a God thing for that to have worked out.