Houston, Wii Have A Problem

There are times I would really like to slipper slap my folks so hard that when they wake up it's a whole new week. Maybe even a whole new month.

I've noticed I have some very observant children. This amazes me cuz when I was their age I didn't observe much of nothing. The boys figured out about the Wii. How did these well educated children figure this out? I didn't say a word so there goes that thought. They didn't even use any Jedi mind tricks.

Sharp cookies that they are noticed a few Wii items on the grocery belt waiting to be checked out. I tried to hide it amoungst the veggies but it didn’t work. Note to self – next time hide it under a bra or big old bag of maxi pads.

N spotted it first. I saw the wheels in his head a turning. Ruh-roh, Raggie.
He looked at me. I tried to avoid eye contact.
He scootch closer. I still refused to look in his direction.
He leaned into me knowing that he just achieved check mate.
I looked at him.
He raised his eye brow.
I raised mine.

He grabbed M and said loud enough for J to hear, "we’re getting a Wii."
M: "How do you know?"
N: "Because mom wouldn’t spend money on something unless she knows for certain we got it."

Elementary, my dear Watson, you just figured it out.

My kids are saying I'm both cheap and predictable. If I wasn't praying so hard for the rapture I would toss out the wait until you have children threat. But I rebuked that temptation and continued on praying for God to send Jesus mighty quick.

The boys were all excited about the Wii for a whole 10 seconds until N said, "Wait a second, what does she want?" How messed up is that? He already knew she was going to pull something.

I told them what she wants. She wants a family gathering. Them, us, spawn of brother that can’t be trusted, all together sitting around the table pretending to enjoy the company.

To be fair it's only one spawn I have issues with. The one that decided to share with the boys what all he learned in s*x education. The spawn I would like to drop kick through the goal post of life. Not cool to have someone else crack open a can of worms but way not cool to have him tell all the mechanics of alternative lifestyles. Got it?

Needless to say, we would like to avoid this unhappy afternoon of biblical wailing and gnashing of teeth.

What got me was the look on M's face. When he's really upset he gets these big puppy dog eyes that cuts a hole in your heart that makes you want to promise him anything under the sun just to make it all better. He had the look and asked, "What do we do if she’s mean and won’t give it to us?"

The look of sadness in this boy’s eyes was enough for me to drive the hour over there and take it by force. Hubby had to remind me we had groceries to get home otherwise it would have been go time.

I told him we’ll wait them out. By the time she figures out that we really aren't going to do things her way she won’t be able to return it. But those big puppy eyes just looked at me. I had to get this kid to laugh. I said I would slap her with a slipper that oops-adently had a brick in it. That got him to crack a smirk. I could handle a smirk.

I've had people tell me I don't take anything serious and blow me off. For me, I find this amazing because I have spent so much of my life in tears wringing my hands filled with worry. Yes, I know it hasn't added anything or changed the situation. I've tried to get my guys to attack that junk with laughter. Doesn't God say He sees the plans of man and laughs? If God can laugh it off than so can I.

This hasn't been an easy lesson for me and darn it all if he hasn’t tried carrying on the nasty tradition of worrying.

I sent an email telling my folks that the boys figured it out. I got a reply that I blew it now they will have to wait until after Christmas maybe even New Years Day - ha ha.

I'm not laughing, I said. He said neither is he. (See it's not just my mom)

The Hubs had to talk me off the ledge and swear on a stack of bibles I wouldn't go out there and make good on that slipper slapping I was talking about.

Their whole court date was reschedule which now puts this closer to Dec. December and court just brings a really bad taste to my mouth. Too much of the ghost of Christmas past for me. My kids have had a few bad holidays thanks to my folks so to see where they were trying to take this - I couldn't do it.

I emailed back that if they are attempting to use a "gift" to bribe us and manipulate us than I will buy the Wii from them or they could return it.

I haven't heard a response yet but I'm okay with whatever happens. I was telling my MIL about it and she said they would help us out to get the boys a Wii if we have to. I'm setting those boundary lines. Now I just need some reinforcements. Wonder how much a taser gun costs?

Oh, I kid. They aren't legal.

I think for Christmas I will take the Grinch’s advice and beat myself repeatedly in the head with a wooden mallet to deal with all those pesky memories.