Thursday, January 29, 2009

Dinner - With Flair

I was about ready to make dinner. I spied J scootching along the floor in his own little world of imagination. I let out a deep sigh and called him over.

Me: "J!"
J: Scootch, scootch, "Yeah?"
Me: "I’m about ready to make dinner."
J: "Yeah?"
Me: "It's like this, I’m not in the best of moods. Any idea what is going to happen?"
J: "You’re going to make something I don’t like and (shuddering) it will not go well for me if I make a fuss. Right?"
Me: "You got it. So let’s start the dinner negotiations now."
J: "What are you making?"
Me: "Nacho Potato Soup."
Eyes roll in the back of his head and he makes an ack noise.
Me: "Make me an offer."
Tapping his finger on his lips deep in thought. "No soup but a ham sandwich."
Me: "A cup of soup with the ham sandwich."
J: "A small cup of soup with ham AND cheese sandwich."
Me: "With ranch?"
J: "Duh!"
Me: "Deal."
J: "Cool!"

Hubs on the floor with laughter, both of us look over at him and asked, "What?"
Pauses to catch breath, "What was that all about?"

Me: "We all know he’s not going to eat it. Why have him play around with it and then bug me an hour later for snacks? Besides, I’m not in a good mood. That last nerve will rise from the ashes to lash out at the nearest victim. I sit between you and him. Any questions?"
"Nice knowing ya, J."

And since I like to serve up that sarcasm as fresh as possible, I put his soup in a sauce cup rather than a bowl.

J: Sluuurp! "Hey! This taste cheesy."
Twin harmony, "Duh, where have you been?"
J: "This isn’t too bad except for all the veggies."
Me: "Then just slurp the soup and leave the gunk behind."
J: "I never thought of that. Thanks Mom!"
"I’m here to serve your every whim." I said dryly.

I really should have come up with this idea sooner. It saved a lot of time and made for a peaceful meal where I didn't have to threaten him. I'm awesome! Possibly a total mom slacker but that's besides the point.

I did have a lovely time with my dessert. I had a bag of caramel filled Dove chocolates. My hands slightly shook as I slowly peeled off the foil. I bit into the creamy milk chocolate and let my tongue caress the caramel filling. My eyes rolled in the back of my head as I let out a sigh.

Feeling eyes on me, I slightly cracked open one eye to see my Hubs looking at me with an odd mixture of longing and yet slightly disturbed at the sight. I cleared my throat while I quickly finished my bite.

"Do you want one?" I timidly asked, almost afraid of his answer.
"Nooo, I think I want to live." he said while backing away from me.
"What do you mean? I'm offering you one. Do you want it?" The last part came out of my mouth more like a dare. I could feel my lips curling into a snarl as I felt my hands tighten around the bag clutching it closer to my body.
True to the wisdom that courses through his veins, my husband said that was something I picked out for me and mine it will remain.

Dang y'all - the power of Dove is not to be trifled with! I think I heard the guys are planning to spike my cereal with Midol pills tomorrow.


Julie said...

*lol* ... I've never had dove chocolates, much less with caramel... But MAN, do they ever sound divine!

Now I have me a craving. *lol*

Jeanne said...

Dove...with caramel? Take me to the nearest Kroger!

Kerri said...

OH, Dove is the BEST when it comes to chocolate.

Girl, you crack me up. I LOVE your "conversation" posts. LIke being afly on the wall. I think the dinner negoatiations are BRILLIANT.

Thanks again for yesterday...It helped a LOT to just talk.
Love yoU!

grandmamargie said...

I knew it was going to be about chocolate when I saw the bunny. Enjoy.

Edwina at The Picket Fence said...

I don't blame you I would protect those caramel dove candies too

Debbie said...

I found out a long time ago that they will only eat what they want. And I tell mine to look around and get what they will eat. It is so much less stressful.

Leigh@intentslife said...

Finding a meal that every family member likes is nothing short of a miracle in this house - makes me crazy!

bermudabluez said...

Caramel and Dove equals HEAVEN!!

jubilee said...

Your husband has some great one-liners! "No, I want to live!" Awesome. And so insightful.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

I need to work on my mastery of the food bribe, too. You did well.

Anna K. said...

Ooooh! Dove chocolates...I've found my new prego craving!!

Ahh, yes. The eternal struggle to get the kid folk to partake of the evening meal. The Bubs likes to watch the occasional cooking show with me (Paula Deen)so sometimes I tell him what some of the ingredients are or how I made the dish and that keeps him interested...sometimes!

Laura said...

Just one comment....the bad thing about Dove chocolates are those little wrappers.....

OK, ok I like the little tidbits of inspiration written on them but when I need a chocolate I don't want to deal with a wrapper!

And then there's Hershey's kisses...