Thursday, February 12, 2009

Brick Wall

Ever have one of those weeks where you would like to just do it over or better yet skip to a better week? One that is on the other side so you would know how it all turns out without having to sweat through it would be nice.

Just getting hit with stuff left and right to the point where I feel really raw and totally emotional over everything.

To blog or not to blog about it - that is the question.

While I have no problem discussing anything from my periods from Hades, how whacked out my folks are to just how much I struggle with life, children, and simple things. There is that line where I'm just not sure I even want to say it out loud let alone for all to read and judge.

Leaves for a very blank blog, a judgemental computer screen, and about two journals full of raw emotions that don't seem to have any answers.

I would like to say gosh this stuff is hard, but golly gee we'll pull through by the grace of God. The reality is more like "holy mother of %#&(#@ were are so $%#(*$Q where are you God??? Did you move again without a forwarding address?? Can't we ever get a &*$#@! break??!!"

So mature on my part.

If you were looking for encouragement to lift yourself up and move forward in these difficult times than you came to the wrong blog. Crack open a tube of cookie dough and I'll bawl right along with you. It's 5 o'clock somewhere so close enough.

I feel bad as just a few post ago I had a pretty good post about putting God first and here I am in the throws of this sucks and makes no sense. I don't want the pat on the head, I want answers. It's the lack of answers or direction that leaves me feeling very frustrated. So much so that I want to crawl back in a shell, pull the covers over my head and not come out.

Sort of like a groundhog.

I'll pop out, look around, and say, 'oh $h*! it's cold out here!' and crawl back in and go to sleep. When I wake up it'll be spring. Denial is more than a river in Egypt.

Wow, that is so depressing.

How about I toss out an omg about LOST instead?

Run away if you haven't watched it yet. I've tried to color out the spoilers - we'll see if it works but to be safe don't read any farther. Drag your mouse over the colored parts and you'll see it.

Okay, I am still feeling smug that I knew that Jin wasn't dead. Can I tell you it made my day when Sawyer ran up and hugged him? Yes, I have issues - where have you been?
They brought back the smokey monster but still no explanation as to what it is etc. And why did it snap off the guy's arm and why didn't it attack when they went down to help that guy and did they get that guy out? I'm wondering if they will ever explain it. Hubs and I were coming up with a bunch of little things we've wondered about but not sure if it'll ever get explained. I so hate that!
I so knew Charlotte was on the island before but how creepy that she remembers Daniel? But why did he act like he had no clue what she was talking about? Too bad she died before she could tell him. Does anyone remember when they first announced the fake flight being found and Daniel was some nut job crying?
I think Locke fixing the weird wheel will stop the flashes/time travel but doesn't explain how he dies. I about horphed my dinner when they showed his leg. And thought it was dirty when Ben came in and said that's all I could get for now and she said close enough. Didn't she say a few weeks ago it better be all of them or nothing? It was Jack, Sun, Locke, and Desmond, but did you catch next weeks preview? Looks like Hurley goes along for the ride as well. Wonder if Sun's baby has to go along too?

I wonder if this show will ever make sense. I keep coming back for more as I have to know how it ends!


Dianne said...

It's 5 oclock here! Cookie dough is open. Wanna spoon?

The Blonde Duck said...

I know. Isn't it horrible how they suck you back in?

I moved! Check me out at

grandmamargie said...

That's satan coming at you. Every time we seem to try and get closer to God, Satan intervenes and tries to bring us down. Get up, get moving. God is right there with you even though you may not "feel" His presence, He's there. I'm over here in my corner, praying for you.

Kerri said...

1. I feel the same way today. Can't get a hold of the doctor to find out if my bones are degenerating or not. Nice.

2. Havne't watched LOST yet, but I highlighted the blanks anyway. I can always use a heads up to help me figure that show out!

3. If you need to call, talk, rant, rave, eat cookie dough, whatever, call or come over!
Love you

Kaye Butler said...

Oh my gosh. After reading the stuff about Lost, I'm still lost. I can't watch that show, I feel so confused after watching.

Dianne is so CHEATING if she has cookie dough. She is SUPPOSED to be dieting with me. HELLO, I can see your comment DIANNE! I knew I smelled cookies last night wafting down from her house to mine. She is probably drinking Dr. Pepper up there to.

It's 9:00 AM here if you want to come over to the good side and have a cucumber with me.

Anonymous said...

I am definately with you on the LOST questions!! Hopefully we will get some answers!

Hang in there, dear! :) Sending a smile your way!!

Anna K. said...

Sounds rough...I recommend prayer, laughter (don't roll those eyes at me!) and copious ammounts of Dove chocolate.

Edwina at The Picket Fence said...

I just wonder where all the blood is coming from. They all have bloody noses? The entire show just drives me crazy, I go to bed every Wed. night saying why do I watch this stupid show, it is so confusing and then I can't wait for the next Wed. night. And all that stuff you are going through, don't feel alone we are all waiting on unanswered prayers, but I believe God is watching us saying 'you kids, just relax and let me take care of it-in my way and you will see how and why I brought you these rough times' but I'm like you, I still want to scream out*#@%!! sometimes

Sarah said...

Oh yes. Not having answers is SO hard.

Julie said...

Wish I could do something that would help... Wait, I can!... I can remember you in prayer. :) Hope things are looking up soon!

I don't watch Lost, so I am lost there. *lol*

tommie said...

Oh girlie...wish there was something I could say.

I wish I could have gotten interested in Lost.

Debbie said...

Sorry you have had such a bad week.
I do love Lost. And I am constantly confused by it!