Monday, February 23, 2009

Old Man Winter Is A Jerk

Guess what it did this weekend? Go ahead - take a guess. It snowed. It stinking s-n-o-w-e-d. Oh snow, how I hate thee. You have so worn out your welcome as you always do. Christmas is long over as well as January. As March will be here at the end of the week, I think you need to go away with February.

Sadly, this is Michigan. Winter water wonderland. Which means we're a big frozen puddle of wonder. Maybe because we wonder if Spring will really come? We didn't go any where Saturday as we got dumped on with the white stuff and on the way to church it was almost a total whiteout.

And it's cold too. I'm tired of being cold. I'm tired of wearing several layers of clothes and wrapping myself up in a blanket. This has lead me to finding a boyfriend. Someone who warms be but sadly burns me if I get to close as all affairs do.

Yeah, don't freak - it's our wood burning stove. I called him Burnie. When he is cooking right along, I come up to him and get as close as I can to thaw out. I whisper sweet nothings at his hot head.

Hubs totally encourages this because he knows if I don't thaw out with Burnie I will suck all the heat out of him. The other night I was getting into bed and he started whimpering in his sleep! Big baby.

The man is a microwave and I'm the human ice cube. I make him go to bed to warm up the sheets but I've noticed he only warms up his side of the bed. So I make sure to sap all his heat out of him so I can warm up my side.

He is getting better about not screaming like a little girl. Maybe because I stopped shoving my cold toes in between his thighs? Truth be known, I would still do it but dude has his legs on lock down as soon as I enter the room. All in his sleep!

Impressive. Most impressive.

But I shall overcome. Because I'm freezing!! We weren't home all day so Burnie is not there for me. I've had about 5 cups of hot tea and I still can't feel my toes and I'm wearing socks and slippers. We have a drafty old house. Hubby tells me to put on another sweater, and a blanket and I'll be fine.

Fine.

Now if you will excuse me I'm off to go find some warm toasty thighs of his and tell him how fine I am. At least that is what I'll say but he might not hear me through all the screaming.

I say we shoot the groundhog and maybe Spring will come sooner. Any takers?

7 comments:

jubilee said...

Heh. I always stick my toes on The Calm One's feet when he gets into bed. Somehow, even with all this extra weight I've been carrying around, I'm the cold one.

I am ready for Spring too! But, I hope the roofers get here and replace our missing shingles and flashing first. Otherwise, our basement will be perpetually flooded. Not such a good thing.

grandmamargie said...

I can so relate with you on this post. Although I live in a warmer area than you, I stay cold. I told a co-worker that I didn't only work for the money but the heat too. :) It's a lot warmer at work than at home. And I'm with you, I'm so tired of layers. And blankets. But at least at night, I'm warm. I use a heating pad plus we have an electric blanket which gets the bed nice and toasty before you get in.

rthling said...

You need a heated matress pad. The kind with dual controls, so you can turn your side up on high, and he can keep his lower, since he's warmer by nature.
I love mine!

Sarah said...

My hubby doesn't like cold feet on him, either. What's their problem!? ;)

I won't antagonize you with our weather - which is still cool to me, but probably seems warm to you. I do envy you the snow...a little.

I love Spring and Fall. If I could move somewhere that it was those two seasons year round...I would be VERY tempted. Down here, spring weather lasts all of 2 weeks, then jumps right into summer, which lasts until November. :S

Roxanne Kristina said...

I am so with you on the winter weather needing to move along. I just had pnemonea (sp?) and all I could think about was how lucky sun state folks are. I am sure they do not get as sick as those of us who get stuck in muck. I shouldn't complain to much though - we don't have snow!!! So sorry!!!

Blessings,
Roxx

Julie said...

We tried turning down our heat to save money... It lasted 2 days... I am SUCH a wimp! *lol*

Lilly's Life said...

I hope it warms up soon. Lucky you have Bernie to keep you warm, lol!