Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Really?

I get asked at every family functions if I am done ruining the boys and have finally come to my senses and will put them into a public school. While I'm flattered that these people who can't control their own spawn take so much interest in mine, all this does is remind me why I don't go to these functions.

Oddly enough these people are still able to track me down. So much for not forwarding your mail - they find you anyway.

Yes, I question every single day if I'm doing the right thing. I've spent many an hour asking to get off the hook with God telling Him I am not cut out for this. Only to have Him spell it out to me on so many levels what is His answer. He then pointed out that I wasted two years and I better get my bootay going.

God invented sarcasm. And knows how to use it.

So I sort of resigned myself to my fate and trudged along. This year has been a better year once I stopped whining at God and just obeyed what He said to do. What a shock. Then we have a day, like today, that just seems to run along for a few weeks at a time that makes me run right back to God for is that Your final answer?

For whatever reason, M and I have been going toe to toe on just about everything all.day.long. Suddenly he can't remember a blooming thing and has taken hours to do his school work. And it shouldn't take this stinking long. N is flying through his school work and has been a joy to watch this year.

That is saying something because last year? (shuddering) Last year, I was ready to sell him to a roaming band of gypsies.

Today I was considering it for M. Actually it's been going on for over a month.

He is just a ball of frustration right now. It is an attitude problem through and through. He claims he doesn't understand what the math questions are asking. He gets the lesson but blanks out at the question. This is stuff that was covered the last two years. Last year dude was the one flying through stuff and was a breeze to deal with and now he's dragging his feet.

When he's in a good mood, the school stuff isn't a problem and he gets it done pretty quickly. Lately, he's mad about everything and is constantly beating himself up over everything. I hear Hubby was this way only much, much worse as a teen. God help us all.

And chocolate doesn't even phase them!! I'm still sort of shocked by that news.

I will say I am liking 13 waaay better than I did the 11-12 stage. I kept thinking there was going to be casualties if things got worse once teendom was here. I have said I brought you in this world and I can take you out of it. I also said they are twins and I could take one out and force the other one to pull double duty. I was all set to pull out the riot gear that I usually save for when my folks visit. Thankfully things have not escalated to that degree.

N was even saying today that he has mellow somewhat. Humble, he ain't. This is the boy that will admit he struggles with feeling compassion towards anyone. This is one of Hubs traits and the other one is dark and brooding which M has that one. From the stories Hubby tells me, I'm surprised he wasn't voted most likely to be the uni-bomber when he was in high school.

I'm sure this is why God wanted me to marry Hubby and to home school - to change the gene pool and try as much intervention as I possibly can.

They are not into sports and as soon as someone suggests it, they will give them the laser glare of doom and will shun them for all eternity. It's just hard to see M struggle with whatever it is that is bothering him. Nothing I say seems to make it past the ears. The more he messes up and the more I have to come down on him the more he stews and is just livid with himself.

His favorite thing is to listen to his MP3 and scream/sing Skillet. And there really isn't enough chocolate, Motrin, or alcohol to even begin to numb that pain. It's bad enough going through it with two at the same time but knowing J is only a few years away is not helping. And that is my spawn. Legendary tales has said that I had/have emotional mood swings there were stuff of legends.

If I only knew just how messed up Hubs and I were I would have said for all of society's sake we mustn't reproduce. Actually, I have no idea how it happened and even questioned if I was even awake for the conception part but that is another legendary tale saved for another time.

This, of course, has made me pray like I've never prayed before. Come on God, blow the whistle and call everyone out of the pool. We are on a time table here! Personally, I hope it happens soon that way I don't have to worry about them hitting high school.

I can dream, can't I?

9 comments:

Kerri said...

Wow...really strange page just came up for me to comment...I have no idea if it will work. However... You are a wonderful mother, and I know how much you love your family. (I should clarify, your husbamd and children!) Although the "most likely to be the uni-bomber comment had to spitting out my coffee...I should know better than to have liquids anywhere near me when I read your blog!)

Does M have any kind of test-anxiety? My niece is a super smart girl, but when it came to testing, she just blanked out. Maybe the stress of the grandparent situation si getting to him more than he will let you know? He is a very tender spirit...

Anywho... I love ya, and you're the best. I'm looking forward to Saturday!! Jacob has a wee cold, so we won't be at Bible study tomorrow, but as long as we're okay on Saturday, I can go. Meet you at 11 unless my eyes are buggy??

Kaye Butler said...

I've got your back girl. Mary Margaret for the last part of 12 and first part of 13 had me in tears EVERYDAY. There was one thing that happened that turned her around, not a full 180, but maybe 140 degrees. I'll tell you sometime.

Stick in there.

Remember they are having a hormone explosion right now too.

Oh yeah, at least he's not telling you he's only smart once a day.

grandmamargie said...

Girl, I can only sympathize with you. I have no solutions nor suggestions. I'll just pray for you. How 'bout that?

Joanna said...

Kerri - I have no idea what is going on with the comment page. First it was weird now it's normal. It worked!
I've thought the same thing about the grandparents but he seems relieved that we don't have to deal with them. If it's bothering him he's not telling me about it.

Oh yes I will be there at 11. If eyes go wonky give me a call, k?

Kaye - Do you think Midol will work for boys? I still can't believe she said that to you.

Margie - I will take all the prayers I can get!! I'm needy - so very, very needy. :)

jubilee said...

Seems boys/men have their cycles too, eh? Seems like chocolate or hockey or something should do it for them.

Anna K. said...

Now, look, I've worked in and been around public schools most of my life, having come from a family of educators. Having said that, I advocate education no matter where that education happens...classroom or kitchen table. It's a personal choice, after all.

As for the M situation, I've seen that before when I worked with students. It was either anxiety over a personal problem or the child was freaked at the thought of messing up on yet another concept. Both easy for me to recognize since I had the same probs when I was in school! Usually, if I point-blank asked the child what was going on and let them know that they could talk to me, everything would settle. Sometimes, though, I had to wait it out...ugh.

I know you face some unique challenges, Jo, being the teacher AND the mom.

By the way, I still think that teenage boys have "that time of the month", too!

Debbie said...

I think you are being selfish ruining them all by yourself. Put them in public schools and let us all help ruin them! For goodness sake - share with your fellow taxpayers, why don't you?

Chris said...

someone told me early on in my home schooling career that odd number years are harder than even number years... I have found that to be quite accurate. don't suppose that explains your alternating year by year frustrations... hang in there; they'll be in high school arguing with you with much better vocabulary before you know it:)
ps... i'm with you. hate that skillet stuff but I spose it's better than the heroin diaries that i had to remove from MY itunes.

Julie said...

Joe's family doesn't approve of me homeschooling either... If I so much as breath the words "public school", they are ALL over it... My family, on the other hand, are very supportive about it. In fact, my brother and his wife homeschool too.

We've had a good year this year, which is nice (after the chaos of last year *lol*)