Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Therapy Session Number 376

When we last left our heroine, she was resolved to the fact that her parents were aliens suffering from some mad cow disease or some brain switch-o-change-o. What she wasn't saying to anyone was she had that annoying feeling that there was a shoe that was floating out there waiting to drop.

And not only drop but smack her full in the face.

With all their other woes, our heroine pushed the feeling far back in the corner of her mind. It seems the corner of her mind had some eject button she wasn't aware of. Apparently any contact from the parental units was what sent it all back up to the front.

Much like barf.

Words seem to fail me at this moment. No, I take that back. I have words. I just shouldn't repeat them - out loud.

I had four phone calls today. All in an attempt from my Dad to get a hold of me. I've heard nothing from either one of them up till this point. He tried calling early this morning. I looked at the phone with a battle of emotions rolling around. I shouldn't be surprised but I am.

I was listening to the recording of "...an inmate at a Federal Corrections Facility. If you'll accept the collect call press...." I cleared it. I at least give them kudos for making the recording sound like your relative isn't in prison but rather staying at Club Fed. The finest club when you just want to get away from it all and have some quality me time.

The phone rang again. It was my Grandma and she said they don't know where they sent Dad's clothes and wallet. She wanted to know if it was mailed to me. I said no. I said I hadn't heard anything from either one of them. She said Dad had just called them Saturday. He's so concern about where they mailed his clothes that now, now he wants to get in contact with me.

They've been in contact with my Grandma and my aunt.

Oh the words that I could say.

I told Grandma to send along the message that I'm not going to take ANY collect calls. She immediately asked how the unemployment stuff was going and said we hadn't seen a dime yet. She then asked how things were going and I said my usual hanging in there because what can you say? This sucks? No kidding! That and 5 cents gets you - 5 cents. Moving on...

She said what I've been saying - what the $#!* is taking so dang long? I said I didn't know. Hubs worked today and will tomorrow but we're not too sure rest of the week. He'll try calling then. But I did tell her to make sure to let my folks know I'm not taking any of the phone calls.

What really got me was the other 3 times he tried calling today. He got his mom all upset trying to find out where the Marshall's mailed his stuff. And this was worth wracking up all of our phone bill because? I kept saying that to Hubs - why would he keep calling knowing it will spike the bill. The bill I haven't paid last month or this month because I'm waiting on unemployment checks. That bill. Along with the mortgage and the heat bill.

Oh yes, why indeed would my parents give a rat's butt about my bills when we all know I have nothing better to do than to wait on their every whim.

Yes, that is dripping with sarcasm - keep up here.

But I'm not bitter....

That was a rhetorical statement - no need for comment.

This, of course, set off a chain reaction of emotions which then gave me heartburn AND gall bladder fits. Finally after the pain decided to take a breather, I told satan to jump off a cliff.

Hubs read my post from yesterday and said that was pretty good. Must have been a bit too good cuz holy crappy day, batman!

At least the weather has been cooperating! The guys had a blast on their hike Saturday. The boys got to cracking up laughing about sliding down a wet leafy hill. N said he tried to stand up but his feet slipped right out from under him and landed on a tree root. OUCH! They were all cracking up laughing about it.

Boys are so weird. But, hey, as long as they had fun - hooray for them!

I was asking them if they remembered that one time we did such and such. They all looked at me with a blank look. I asked them about a few other things we did when they were younger. Again the blank look and I don't remembers was said by all.

For all you people that have little ones. Don't waste your time, money, and efforts to do things when kids are little. They won't stinking remember it!! Wait until they older then cram all the good memory building junk in them.

I heard a joke a long time ago that is turning out to be fitting. Do you know why you take pictures of your wedding? To give the groom a fighting chance to remember it. I think this may affect all males regardless of age.

I yanked out a scrapbook and said, "Look! We did this and that and that and this. Remember???"

Crickets chirping

Boys squinting at pictures, scratching their heads, "Yes?" was their reply.

"Why did you say that in a question form?" I pressed.

Sensing their doom, the back peddling began, "Well, we sort of remember it but it's a bit fuzzy. Hadn't really thought of it but now that you've mentioned it and showed us the pictures it's sort of coming back." This was all said rather quickly as they slowly backed away from me.

Tell me again why we don't hibernate? Anyone??


Kimi said...

First, I am sorry to hear about the situation you were writing about. Second, I find it amazing that you can make the most difficult moments amusing for readers. You certainly have a gift. You side remarks are so funny :) As far as the memory thing, my kids are the same way. I doubt they will remember anything as teenagers either. They are boys. lol Boys have no memory!

grandmamargie said...

Hey, not trying to take sides here, but there's lots of things I don't remember. And that's from one day to the next. :)

Debbie said...

Your situations always amaze me. I am so sorry you have to go through this. But, like Kimi, I am impressed with your humor.

Joanna said...

It's either laugh or cry. Especially when I had a message from my Mom on my phone this morning. Oy vey!

dramamama said...

Found you through Kimi (Meddling in the Affairs of Dragons). I am sorry about everything you are going through. I am also amazed at how you are keeping your good humor. I will definitely be back!

Kerri said...

Hey girlie.
First of all, you won't be charged anything on your phone UNLESS you accept the call, so don't fret about that.

Secondly, I can't BELIEVE the audacity of your parents.... as long as they have someone else so boss around and be cruel to, they leave you alone...until they REALLY need something. Well, I say, you stand your ground. You don't need a relationship with people who hurt you, and you're doing hte right thing by telling Grandma to tell them you cannot and will not accept the collect calls.

And they do cost a fortune! Even if you were on better terms...it's too darn expensive!

Press on, sweetie...I love you!

Julie said...

Man, you're just having a time of it lately, aren't you? *sigh* ... I hope your parents get a CLUE, and SOON!

jubilee said...

My kids remember nothing. Not even the clothes they wore last season. Or the toys we packed away and are just now unpacking. It's like Christmas around here!

So sorry about all of your struggles. Know that I am praying for you.