Thursday, March 19, 2009

Therapy Session Number 380

Our heroine, faced with the dilemma of what to do regarding the people formally known as parents (P.F.K.P), turns to her loving Hubby and asks his advice. She quickly realized this was a terrible mistake as soon as he let out a snort.

Was this a good snort or a bad snort? she asked herself.

He set down the letter and made eye contact with our heroine. He shook his head and wished her the best of luck.

Gee, thanks.

I know ya'll keep telling me to write all this stuff down and shove it in a book but I don't think anyone would believe me that it's all real. I can’t make this crap up!

I was on the phone with my MIL when there was much banging on my door. I looked out the window and noticed a rather official looking vehicle parked in my driveway. It turns out my idiot Dad mailed a few letters to the fire department as he can’t seem to remember my address!

I’m still on the phone with my MIL this whole time. I’ll give her credit – she didn’t crack up laughing, didn’t add one little word of there’s a big surprise. I think part of me knew that if she would have said something, I would have just busted a gut laughing.

And this, this is progress for me.

I even said as much to my MIL. Usually when I hear banging on the door with an official car in my driveway – I would have had a massive panic attack thinking they’re coming after me again. Thankfully, I didn't even have a spike in my heartbeat let alone the wild gallop.

This irritates me. If I’m going to have guilt shouldn’t I at least have the lifestyle to go with it? Totally annoys me that I have a guilty conscience for something I didn’t even do!!

I got off the phone a while later and was able to read my Dad’s letter. All I can say is denial is more than a river in Egypt!! He said he’s enjoying his time reading the Word and is in prayer with the Father everyday.

This is what I struggle with - how can someone read the Word of God, chapters a day, everyday and not get the big clue of stop it not to mention a Holy Ghost kicked to the head?? I don’t understand this. No remorse in the letter – said the court never gave them any paperwork to prove why they are doing this. Blah, blah, blah.

Because you wouldn’t do what they told you to do, Howard!!! Hence the cinder block room. How many time outs do you need??

He did say he messed up and they should have waited until the parole violation was settled before they continued filing paperwork. Un-stinking-believable.

He asked how our financial situation was doing and wanted to know if I’m trusting God. He wanted to know if I’m joyful. Why yes, oh clueless one, it gives me great joy to know my family didn’t take a left turn at Albuquerque but instead went off the road entirely to try something new and exciting. Like going off a cliff. Oh, how my hearts sings with joy knowing they have flushed their lives away for nothing and have watched how it has affected myself and my kids.

Okay, sounding a tad bit bitter.

He did say that he got to ride out with Mom to the airport before she got shipped off to Philly and he’s going back to Kentucky where he was last time. He said that once he gets out they are going to live with his folks and he wants to take care of my grandparents. My grandma is actually happy about this because my grandpa is turning 90 in May.

Lets hope gramps lives long enough for them to get paroled out. Dad said it should be right before Christmas. Why are my Christmas' getting ruined?? It seems like my Christmas gets peed on all the time. Maybe there was a cut back at the coal plant and this is just their way of saying sucks to be you?

Dad signed off saying he misses me but doesn’t miss all the turmoil and the stress that was going on between us. Do tell.

Then today I got another letter but was dated back in Feb. but again wrong address and thankfully no one had to come hand deliver it. This letter was different. He said the last time we talked no wait, "conversed on the phone you had expressed your intense desire to be left alone. I took offense to that and did as you requested. I apologize! I should have continued showing you love."

I sort of blurred out there because who talks like that? And holy smokes if this is him showing me love then how about we try a different feeling? I’m not feeling the love. Yes, I’ll take door number 4 on the wheel of emotions. What? Strong feelings of angst? Jackpot!

He also said he’s not happy being on the outside of my boundaries. Hooray he was at least aware of what he was trying to manipulate around. Good for me for showing him the boot to the head, I mean the boundary line and where he can’t cross. Yes, that was a boundary line not a speed bump.

I did noticed something – he kept making comments about how he can pray better and reads more of his bible, has decided to cut out all flour, sugar, and junk food, and has gotten regular exercise now that he's back in prison. He noticed that he’s been feeling better than what he has in the last several months. He even met a group of good Christian guys, as we all know prison is the best place to find one’s peeps, and has had a few opportunities to encourage some young men to follow the Christian lifestyle. Wonder if that includes fighting the IRS?

I’m starting to think he likes it there. I told you Club Fed seems to have that come back and stay feel to it, so much so, that they had to put in bars and limit their enrollment.

He did ask that I pray for Mom, as she seemed really down. Wow. How shocking. Cruella must have realized there were no puppies for her puppy coat after all. I did notice Mom’s tone of voice didn’t have her normal bite to it when she left her message.

I’m making jokes but the whole time I’m reading his letter I just wanted to grab them and shake them stupid. Except I think someone must have already beat me to the punch.

I asked Hubs if he thought I should write back once we know the address. One, I’m tired of him mailing letters all over my neighborhood as he’s been off by a few numbers. Two, he actually punctuates my name so the whole neighborhood can think I’m a freak. Old grouchy mailman already doesn’t like me and this is just another feather up his butt. I thought about mail-ordering a bunch of ammunition just to really piss him off, as he would have to carry the heavy box to my door. Dude better watch it - he’s crammed one too many letters and has delivered half-chewed stuff before.

But that is neither here nor there.

I think my main reason would be maybe, just maybe, if I use a really, really big font size maybe he would actually listen to me instead of just assuming. When I posed that question to Hubs all I got was the eyebrow arch. And we all know that isn’t a good thing.

I said I have a feeling the man isn’t going to let this go and it needs to be addressed. He even ended the other letter saying he can’t wait to hug his little girl. I haven’t been little or a girl in decades. I feel the desire to let him know how full of it he is and how I'm not buying it. I want to spell it out, use little words and pictures if I have to, just to show him how far outside the boundary line he is and will continue to be as long as he refuses to change.

If all of that wasn't enough, I find out N has been being a royal jerk to someone else. A not cool, what the heck where you thinking jerk. As we were handing his butt back to him on a plate, Hubs had the idea of finding out what was really going on with him. Dude has been upset over some things, non grandparent stuff, but has been taking it out on other people. I was ready to toss my hands in the air and call the roaming gypsies. I thought we had gone over this repeatedly and had explained to him why this isn't accepted or allowed.

I had voiced this complaint to my cousin in an email of when do the lessons stick? Her reply was sometime in their twenties. She said this is all part of those raging hormones. Someone tell me how to make a hormone stop raging cuz I'm ready to go gansta on it. Sheesh!


Sarah said...

Popping by and saying hi from SITS!

The Blonde Duck said...

Popped in from SITS!

Kerri said...

Hey woman.
Ug. What a poopy situation. What is God telling you to do? If you feel Him saying lay off, then don't respond. I would say if you're hearing nothing, go with your gut. Or Fred's gut. I would probably ignore them. I would probably mark the letters return to sender, no one at this name at this address. It IS true, ya know.

Love ya

Sarah said...

Ugh. I don't know if I would write. Going by what I've read of them, I don't think your dad would "take the hint". He might "get" it, but I don't think he'd take it to heart.

Hence the hubby's eyebrow arch, probably. My husband just accused me of giving similar non-committal answers ("hmmm") last night. Sorry!)

Anna K. said...

Alright, honey. I'm going to let you in on some slang that my dad and I have had to use for certain peeps: Y.C.F.S. (You Can't Fix Stupid) Now that I think about it, you can't fix stubborn, either. Hmmm...

Why bother writing back at this point? His probs would always be someone else's fault (guess who?) and....well the logical reasons can go on and on. Just continue to pray for the P.F.K.P.'s - just don't give them your address!

Julie said...

What a nightmare! I don't know how you keep your sanity intact! *sigh*

Lilly said...

Oh I havent read the background to your letters but it is a tough situation to be in. I think someone is trying to manipulate you it seems. I wouldnt respond either but then you dont want them continually contacting you or sending mail around your neighborhood either. The no contact rule is a great one with people who have issues, but tougher to do when its fleash and blood. Take your hubs advice on this one perhaps. Take Care.

Sunday said...

Sigh...that's all I can say about that one. Sometime's it's best to let others label you the bad guy and move on, but the honor thy mother and father concept sure adds guilt.

jubilee said...

I'm not trying to be snarky, but do you have to honor your parents is they are nutty or wrong or both?

I have no answers or ideas about what you should do. I'm just gonna pray. And then pray some more.