Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Is It Gone?

So like I posted yesterday, Monday decided to say, "pow, right in the kisser!" Well, my InterPeeps, that was the understatement of the day.

I have a long history of sharing too much information - so why would I stop now? (That would be your cue to rethink why you read this blog.)

Monday started off with a bang. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom with a rip roaring headache. I woke up with the same headache doing the mamba on my head.

Good times.

Came stumbling into the kitchen and got me a glass of milk only to discover, with a big old swig in my mouth, that the milk was bad. After spitting it out into the sink, I checked the expiration date and it didn't expire for another week.

Odd.

So I grabbed the bread to make some toast. Pulled out a piece only to discover mold all over the bottom.

What the hey???

Then about a half an hour later, my body thought 'lets try something fun' and gave me the runs. And not just any run of the mill runs, I'm talking the screaming sh*ts. I don't know if it was my colon screaming or me, but my poor butt ended up with dry heaves.

Aren't you glad you read this blog?

As I sat there paying homage to the white porcelain god, I tried to figure out what poisoned me. And then I remembered. I made some blondies to take with us to go over to our friend's house. Only the blondies didn't cook up too well. We tried baking them again and still nothing.

On the way home I asked Hubs if the nuts I used could have caused it not to set up. Maybe too much oil and it messed the whole baking process or something? He said it's possible.

I even joked about it being salmonella laden because it was still ooey gooey.

Double smack to the forehead for being stupid.

Remembered my aching head.

Filled the cuss jar with all my loose change from my purse. Said screw it and pocketed the change and hid the jar.

The kids didn't have it. But good gravy did this drop kicked me through the goal posts of a bad Monday.

Once that, um, ran its course, (I slay myself) I noticed that the pink mold was back on the shower curtain. Lovely. And for an extra special touch, there was that nasty moldy junk that was all around the suction cups on the bathmat.

Why did I think clear would be a good choice? Anyone?

There is some funky moldy junk that is exploding in my house. Gross, gross and double gross.

So I did some major battling with some Clorox bleach, all while battling the laundry. I am Bleach Woman, hear me roar!! Or gag from the fumes. Who cares if it killed off a brain cell or 7, not like I use them anyway. And now the evil power of mildew has been wiped out.

Was feeling good about myself, until I walked into a huge spider web - that wasn't there 10 minutes ago when I entered the bathroom. Great! Ninja spiders. Invisible spiders that have been having some strange monkey love because the house has webs all over the place.

And I have been cleaning.

Even gave all the boys a swiffer thing and we all had at it only for all the webs to be back by lunch time. I can neither confirm nor deny, that I may, or may not, have flopped on the floor to have a hissy fit.

And just when I was in such a joyous mood, the bats in the chimney woke up to sing a squeaky version of the hallelujah chorus. At this point my brain said check ya later.

I came to sitting on the couch with J watching Loony Tunes. How fitting.

7 comments:

grandmamargie said...

Yuck, I hate mold. And we get it a lot at our house because it's old and it's been raining a lot here lately.

Kerri said...

Ug. Mold. Michigan basement. 'Nuff said. I'm allergic to boot. Bleach is my favorite thing. I LOVE the smell of bleach...clean...sterile...no germs...LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

Scrappy Girl said...

Yikes...I think I had that day last week!

I am having a surprise giveaway over on my blog today...I'm celebrating 500 posts!

Julie said...

And here you twittered that you weren't being productive! Now I know I was downright LAZY! *lol*

Anna K. said...

Loony Tunes, huh? For me it's HGTV...where other people clean their messes and do the dirty work. Somehow I come away feeling like I accomplished something even though I didn't lift a finger!

Mold. Hmmm, curse you, Aquascum!

Young Wife said...

Yikes! What a day. Speaking of cleaning, I had been using a "green" toilet bowl cleaner, as in eco-friendly. I stopped using it and switched back to the one with bleach because the "green" cleaner was actually green in color. If you don't get every speck scrubbed off the toilet, it looks like you've got pond scum growing in your toilet!

jubilee said...

Bleach may not be eco-friendly, but it sure does care care of a lot of junk! Don't know if I could ever give it up completely.

So sorry about your icky day.