Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Who Knew?

That you were all shocked about my evil chocolate experience. Granted it was all in emails, which brings up why do people do that and not comment?? I'll get emails about some post but no comments as far as the eye can see. I always know when a blog post tanks when it's in the afternoon and not 1 comment.

Totally kills my blogging mojo.

Oh the ups and downs of blogging. It's like my cycle - all over the place that rarely makes any sense. And may try to jump out and scare people before it runs away maniacally laughing.

In answer to the question - yes, I was busted. You can't use up that much laxatives and it not go unnoticed. I was in trouble but not as bad as what it could have been. I found out there was a story behind it. Believe me the sun rose and set on my brother, so as much cramping and crapping he did, it was a miracle I wasn't killed on the spot. One of those moments I'm amazed I didn't get sent straight to heaven. Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars. Enter the throne room and receive thy judgement.

So when that didn't happen, and the shock wore off, I was rather curious.

Turns out my Mom met my Dad by some laced cupcakes. Nothing that cleaned out his entire intestinal tract but spite was definitely the main ingredient. They worked at the same place and my Mom was one of the secretaries. Her boss kept pestering her to bake something. Long story short, my Mom decided to get him and get him good.

She actually had a sense of humor at one point in her life.

She made cupcakes but put tons of garlic, paprika, and I can't remember what else. But she said when she baked them, they smelled so bad they had to open all the windows in the house to try and get rid of the smell. She said the only thing that would cover the nasty smell was to make a strong chocolate coffee icing. It worked.

So my Mom waltz into work the next day and presented the charlatan cupcake to her boss. All the other ladies were in on it and gathered around to watch the show. The poor slob, who didn't have a clue, took a huge bite and froze. My Mom was laughing hysterically at this point in the story and said his face went red as sweat beads popped out on his head. He started coughing and sputter so he quickly left the room to spit it out and down a bunch of water.

Enters through the side door - my Dad. He sees a bunch of woman cackling like crazy and his eyes landed on the cupcakes. Not shy, and I guess was a total skirt chaser, marched into the group and asked my Mom if she made it. Dude never picked up on the gleam in her eye as she extended the plate to him.

My Dad HATES coffee. Can't stand the smell of it let alone the taste of it. He caught one whiff of the coffee icing and wolfed down the cupcake as fast as he could to avoid the taste. Probably saved his life. When he later found out what my Mom did to those suckers, he thought any chick that pulled a stunt like that was worth getting to know.

So when I pulled my little stunt with my brother, it was my Mom who cracked up laughing and came to my defense while my Dad muttered something about never trust a woman who willingly hands over chocolate.

I wasn't allowed to bake unsupervised for a looong time after that and needless to say I always had to have the first few brownies before anyone else would eat any.

All part of my evil plan.

Wish I could send my bank some spiked brownies right about now. They decided to sit on the deposit because the payroll check bounced last time. Which means I now bounced a check. While I've restrained myself from making a big stinking banner of I Told You So, I'm thinking Hubby dear needs a pan of some messed up brownies. (Insert evil cackle)

You can relax. I haven't been able to find any chocolate laxatives anyway so dude is safe. I shouldn't have to point out I already have looked. So really - he's safe.

15 comments:

grandmamargie said...

Funny story. Thanks for the smile.

Kerri said...

I KNOW about the comments! SHeez! What's a girl gotta do to get people to comment on the blog? I just keep plugging away, hoping SOMEONE is reading....
Loveyou girl.

Julie said...

Comments, or lack there of? .. I HEAR you!

That story is sooo funny! *lol*

Kaye Butler said...

Your post

Kaye Butler said...

Never ever

Kaye Butler said...

disappoint me!

Kaye Butler said...

sometimes I don't

Kaye Butler said...

have time to comment cause I'm reading between the bosses coming and going...

Kaye Butler said...

obviously, I have time today.

gotta love me

Joanna said...

Kaye - why yes, yes I do.

Aleta said...

OMG - I LOVE that your Mom did that. How wild and so cool that she laughed at what you did and came to your defense. Great Story!!!

Aleta said...

OH, and don't worry about comments. They will come. Just keep posting. We'll keep reading!!!

Anna K. said...

You are one diabolical woman! I love it.

By the way, Kaye is crazy funny. I love what she did with the comments!

Young Wife said...

I can't believe your mother did that! So funny.

Stereos and Souffles said...

Funny stuff! Visiting from SITS.