Friday, October 16, 2009

Who Let The Dogs Out?

I'm thinking the neighbor's dog needs to be pelted with a paintball or 20. I take that back, the neighbor needs to be pelted with a paintball. All summer long I have heard this lady's shrill voice screeching out her dog's name.

The name of this dog happens to be the same as Hubs. It is really weird to hear someone yell Hubs' name in a tone that makes me want to pick up the nearest slipper and have a throw down. He joked that he hopes she quits soon as he was starting to have flashbacks of his childhood.

Sadly, it hasn't stopped. At all hours of the day, and night, we hear this woman yelling for her dog to come back. She doesn't put her dog on a leash and for the longest time was training him to go in our yard.

What cracks me up is that she makes a show of picking up the poo yet doesn't. I heard someone yelling one day, so I pulled the curtains back a bit and watched her pretend to clean up her dog's mess. When she straightened up, we made eye contact and she now has the dog do his business in the yard of a house that is for sale. On the other side of us.

One time it was 4 in the morning and this lady is loudly whispering, "Come here!" All while the dog was happily ignoring her. After her waking me up, I think I would have ignore her too just to piss her off.

It's the little things in life that can put a smile on your face.

This dog is a rather curious fellow. He likes to climb up onto our porch and stare at his owner while she yells at him to get down. And he has discovered my Mom's ancient dog that lives outside. While the dog is a very nice dog, I'm hoping my folks will take her back this time. It's either that or we're going to have to look into putting her down. She's 11 and a big dog and you can tell she's not going to handle another winter.

Lately, Mr. Curious likes to get right up near the fence and those two bark like crazy. No matter what time it is. They've gone at it at 2 am as well as 8 am. Not to mention around noon and 4. Last night he decided to come into our backyard causing our dog to just go ape. I noticed our driveway light was triggered and when I opened the side door, there was this dog sniffing around eating any loose dog food he could find.

All while his owner screamed her head off for the dog to come back right this second.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the dog doesn't understand screech, nor speaks stupid. He may even be deaf given the volume of his owner.

The boys asked if we should buy them a leash. I said no, because when she pretended to clean up the poo the dog was on a leash. She figures that the dog is so well trained he doesn't need it any more. The boys corrected my assumption by saying the leash was for the owner to wear because that is who is trained, not the dog.

We cracked up laughing because right at that moment we heard the dogs barking and the lady screaming as usual. J suggested instead of a leash we try to find a dog training for dummies book as that would be nicer.

M commented that was very thoughtful of him and J said, "don't think too much of me as I swiped someone's crops today on Farm Pals." This sets off another round of laughter.

After all the hilarity dies down, N decided it's been too long since he has announced that he is excited for his birthday. We still have a few weeks but hey it's never to early to start a countdown.

Unless it's Christmas we're talking about because la, la, la, la I can't hear yoooouuuu!!!!


Aleta said...

"He joked that he hopes she quits soon as he was starting to have flashbacks of his childhood."

I had to stop there and dry my eyes, laughing too hard. OMG, that would drive me batty to have a neighbor like that. We used to have an old lady across from us and if we parked our vehicle on OUR property but across from her driveway, she'd go nuts and tell us to move our vehicle!

Joanna said...

I feel the need to say this isn't the same neighbor who thought Hubs' name was Dick and had the hots for him. Once she found out her chances were zilch, and his real name, she moved away a few months ago. At least that's my theory.

Kristen said...

okay that is ridiculous! She was training him to go in your yard!?! And pretending to pick up the poop. Those people should be banned from having animals!

Julie said...

That sounds INSANE! ... Do you know what Joe would do? Pick up the poop with a shovel and fling it into her yard. *lol* (He's done it before!)

Don't you have leash laws out there? We do... Not that everyone obeys them out here in the boonies, but they are supposed to. *sigh*

Kerri said...

Ooooh! I LOVE the poop throwing idea!

When I first read this I thought the dog's name was HUBS! My eyes are a little WONKY today!

I hope you are feeling better!!!

Kerri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dianne said...

I want to see the deleted comment! You must be so proud of your offspring. That was an excellent quip that the leash was for her. I love it!

Kaye Butler said...

Okay, my neighbor is Dianne in the above comment. Her husband is my husband's brother. Dianne's husband has tons of chickens. Their roosters make tons of noise. Our dogs make tons of noise.

Last night Tim asks me...

Why does Clayton and Dianne have their pool pump on?

He can hear the pool pump. That bothers him. Not the Chickens? Not the Dogs? The super quiet pump.

He had me call them last night and ask them why they still have the pump on.


jubilee said...

The dog next to us is a sassy little thing. We have just enough space under our fence for her to come into our yard and tease our 60lb black lab. Our dog is leashed in our yard and that little bitty of a thing stands just out of his reachand barks like crazy. And to top it off, the neighbor lady (a-hem) yells for her dog while still in her house. Nice.

The pretending to pick up poop is insane. Why expend the energy of pretending when it takes just as much energy as if you were to really do it? That is rotten and deceitful and malicious. Glad you can laugh about it.

Young Wife said...

As a dog owner myself, I feel qualified to say that your neighbor needs to get her act together. As Cesar Milan says, "I train people." How's animal control in your area? I'd be calling me city to complain that there was a dog loose.

Kerri said...

I had the deleted comment...mine just posted twice. : )

Kaye, that is HILARIOUS! That is SUCH a man thing. My husband would do that. Jacob will be saying, "Hey Dad, see my animal barn?" And he'll say it over and over and over until Doug acknowledges him. He says he just "tunes it out." But I'll have a fan on and he'll crank up the TV and say, "I don't know how you expect me to hear with that thing on."