Wednesday, November 4, 2009


Holy smokes! Remember my post about crawling out of the grave? Um, yeah. Today was one of those days that had me running back for the tomb, diving in, pulling the door shut and was just cracking open a tube of caulk to seal the darn thing shut.

Luckily for me, it was a tube of cookie dough I cracked open instead of all purpose, all weather caulk. I don't know how I could have mistaken the tubes. It's not like you store caulk in the frig, right?

At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So there I was cookie dough in one hand and caulk in the other when, gosh oh gee, I get to put into practice what we just studied this week. Kerri and I just had McTalking Monday night. Like a cool breeze, the whole weeks lesson came blowing back over my scorched brain. (Not insulting myself - I felt fried to a crisp!)

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. Nothing like God telling you to strap on the big girl panties and kick some toothless lion in the groin.

*Side note* is it biblical to ask God to send an angel to kick the devil in the balls once a day? Anyone??? When I posed this question to Hubs, he said actually we're told to do the kicking and that we have power over the enemy. I think that's in Ephesians. Note to self, get some steal-toed boots.

What could get me this worked up you ask? Then you must be new here. The rest of the 5 people that read this already know the score.

Drama on the parent front. Dad is in half way house and my phone was ringing off the hook from various relatives telling me how I need to get a copy of driver licence cuz my grandparents had put my name on the car they bought my Dad last time and blah, blah, blah. Same crap, different day. Basically they are having to do for him what I did last time. But with my name on the car it caused a snafu and they need me to drop everything and get some stuff taken care of to ease their burden.

As if I had nothing else going on right now.

I got off the phone and I sat there as the emotions went off the charts. I was in a total fit. We're talking past the point of no return. Isn't it hilarious that this last week we covered anger and how not to be surprised if people come crawling out of the woodwork to get you to go back to the wrong thinking? It also said to watch out for gasoline words - things that can trigger anger.

Think about that for a second. If you're in a red hot rage what will gasoline do? Exactly. I felt like gasoline was dumped all over me.

Oh mah gosh, the emotions! Emotions that I thought were dead came right back to life just like a fire. And it didn't stop there because that burning thing turned on me and tried to scorched the tender new shoots of growth. I ended up making mistakes left and right and kept catching myself calling myself names. It was not a fun day.

I did not eat the cookie dough. I put down the caulk. I didn't stay in the tomb. But you would not believe how low I ended up feeling about myself from one thing after another, after another, get the picture. It turned into a fierce battle that ended up with me on the floor sucking carpet doing some serious prayer along with some serious snot blowing, eyes leaking, bawling and just wrung out.

I was telling Kerri the other night I got ker-smacked with this last week's lesson. When the emotions are hot it asked what words do I speak to myself to calm down. What? We're suppose to do that??? Needless to say, I had some work to do. It said like water to the flame - we're to speak the Word of God to our red hot emotions. And isn't it just special I got to put that right into practice the very next day?

Yeah, I'm not laughing.

Sort of hard to read scripture when you're scraping snot off your chin. But life moves on and I had stuff to get done.

We had to go grocery shopping and I was in such a fit, I suggested we run for the border and then secretly cackled with glee at the thought of gassing wally world. Clearly, I have some issues.

While shopping I ran into a couple different people. Thankfully, we weren't eeking any green clouds of doom. But I was asked if I was going to some up-coming event. I had no clue what the person was talking about and it shifted to awkwardness when it was realized I wasn't invited.

While there was no way I could go, I still felt a deep sting from being left out. More gasoline on raw emotions. I was a bit quicker on my response to myself. Nothing like being in the middle of stuffmart doing battle as I felt absolutely unwanted - just down to my core being.

Talk about your drama.

But I was clued in on what was going on. Didn't make it any easier and I think if one of the guys would have dropped a taco bomb I would have been curtains. I was in such a daze from not giving vent to those emotions that I forgot a few things on the list. I caught myself - again - before I went off on my mental capacity and lack thereof. I hate repeat visits to a store because that means more money.

On the bright side, we underspent which both shocked and confused me. You would think I would have stuck my arm out and ran down the chocolate aisle clearing the shelves into my cart. I didn't buy one piece of chocolate.

I told the guys to take my pulse.

I think this may be progress. I can tell you, I'm very much alert to the schemes of the devil. The only downer is I took one serious beating from it. Even though I'm beat up and bruised, I'm still standing and there is one sore lion holding his groin.

Who's roaring now?


rthling said...

You go girl!

Kerri said...

I'm SO PROUD of you!!! I just spent the last hour wiping snot and stuff. Seems my oldest sister (you know the drama there) has been poisoning my niece as well, because she called Jessie (Lori's daughter) and told her they didn't want to sit by me at the reception.

Now you'd think after all the horrible things they've said, I would be like, whatever. But no...I start bawling, because this is my FAMILY...and I have done NOTHING wrong. And yet they're talking crap about ME to everyone they know.

satan is a bastard. along with a few others...

Dianne said...

So now, seriously, for my own benefit, when these people call, as we all know they will, is it wrong to snarkily tell them "Well, I hate it for you." and hang up, before cackling wildly? Because that is what I would do. At least in my mind. Don't have anyone in a "HOME" but I would like to.
PS I know how u feel about the not invited stuff. IT doesn't matter if u would even want to go or not, it's just the being left out. Like what's wrong with me that I didn't get invited. Struggle with it alot.

Julie said...

I don't think I could handle all the family drama that comes your way... You are a lot stronger than I am!

Jen said...

I can relate to the parent drama. At least you can temper it with cookie dough caulk.

Anna K. said...

Can I borrow those boots when you're done?

I'm having to face some anger issues over family things, too. My bro moved in temporarily and there are days when I feel like pulling out my hair! It's always one drama after another with him...the simplest tasks become overwhelming.

But enough of my troubles!

I'm proud of you, Jo. You can do this!!

jubilee said...

Good for you, girl! Let me know where you got those awesome steel-toed boots, will ya? :)

Young Wife said...

Keep on keepin' on! I love your current avatar look!

Joanna said...

Hey Jen! Nice to see you again!!