Sunday, January 31, 2010

Fatty Batty Goes Splatty

And so does the ceiling fan!!

All I can say to all the "what, another bat?" is I KNOW!!!

For those of you new or tried to forget the bat stories
here and here would be some entertaining reading. Or not.

For those of you keeping score, we are now at bat number 10. Number 10 is d-e-a-d - dead, dead, dead!! Thank goodness! Little rat was harassing the boys, who get the big kahunas award for not screaming like 2 year olds. How they didn't just amazes me. Nicholas said the bat crashed into his bed. Dude! And you didn't scream???? He said he couldn't because his heart was in his throat.

About 3 am Michael finally made a break for it and tipped-toed into our room. Ever so gently he said, "I think there's a bat in our room." I think that phrase and "I just barfed" will wake you out of a dead sleep faster than the speed of light.

Needless to say, both Hubby and I flew out of bed. They told me how it crashed into the ceiling fan - twice and grazed the side of the wall and that little bit of crashing into Nicholas' bed. This was going on for hours but no one was brave enough to get out of bed to get us. Say what?? Scream peeps, scream! I know I would have.

We looked - nothing. We waited in ambush - nothing. We gave up only this time we said yell if you see it or hear it. I still can't believe they let that go on for hours without yelling. I would have been screaming to the point of getting hit to shut up.

Surely this will put me in the running for the Rotten Parent Award.

So around 5-ish, Jared yelled loud enough to wake the neighborhood as well as the dead. Luckily there are no cemeteries around or that would have been freaky. Dealing with a bat was bad enough. There is only so much my ticker can take, people.

We went running and sure enough the bat was in their room flying around. Only this was the biggest one yet. Figures. Bat numbed 10 was the big fatty.

There was Hubby with his bat slayer 2000 and me with an old yearbook, aka bat slayer junior, both swinging away. Hubs got real close but ended up getting the chain from the ceiling fan instead. As fate would have it, the chain got tangled up in the ceiling fan and ripped the chain out and throwing the room back into darkness. With a bat flying around above my children.

Welcome to my hell - I'll be your tour guide.

On the left we have Michael who shrank into the tiniest ball, buried under his covers. You'll see Nicholas has also done the same thing with Jared trying to crawl up my back with a mountain of blankets over his head. All while Hubs is swinging the bat slayer.

I can't even make this crap up.

The chain for the fan part was stripped out and had the fan on high but since it was tangled in the motor the thing was trying to move but couldn't. Luckily we have a separate switch that kills power to the whole thing. So fan is off, had to turn on lamp, children all undercover and a bat was still flying all kamikaze style over head.

Then the sucker started to dive bomb us.

Oh happy day.

It landed on the curtain. Trouble was there is glass behind that curtain. With the adrenaline a pumping we decided that maybe we should use something soft to hit the dang thing. Hubs grabbed an old towel and smacked the thing. Granted it knocked the curtain off the rod but the bat was stunned beyond stupid. Hubs threw the towel over it with me tossing the yearbook on top. I think I might have screamed yer momma too.

Hubs looked at the book on top of the towel and then at me and started laughing. That is until the big fatso commando crawled out from underneath the towel and squeaked.

I give my Hubby major credit. I screamed eww, eww, eek, eeeekkk kill it!!! He remained calm and was able to get it pinned again and gave the book a couple good punches. Then like the woman that I am, I started to yell at him not to get blood on the carpet.

Again, not making this crap up.

He said he would clean it up. I'm picturing ripping up carpet and whathaveyou. After another punch, Hubs lifted to book off and saw blood seeping through the towel. He scooped up the bat in the towel with me saying throw them both away. He nodded and tossed them both into a wally world bag.

Luckily no blood was on the carpet but he scrubbed the area down anyway. Got the ceiling fan all de-tangled but now it needed a new switch. Whatever. I was just happy the thing was dead.

So we stumbled off to bed around 5:30-ish. A.M. When it was time to get up for church, lets just say no one was willing to go. Well Hubs and N were ready to go but neither one looked too with it.

We ended up having to run and get a new switch. The light works and 2 of the speeds on the fan works so close enough. So much for a day of rest!

The words - they fail me right now.


Kerri said...

YIKES! You are braver than I!!! If I ever saw a bat IN my house?!??! I know Doug would take care of it, but I might have to call ya'll....BAT-BUSTERS!!!
Love ya!

rthling said...

Oh, goodness!
I would have run screaming out the door into the ice tomb we call our yard.
Not really. I tend to be level headed in crises like this.
Much applause, though.

Young Wife said...

Oh, my gosh. I cannot even imagine. I'd be hiding behind the dog.

Shellie said...

CR-A-z-EEEEEEEE! That was quite the adventure!