Monday, March 29, 2010

Captain's Log

I can no longer remember the count of days. Blood supply too low and I'm conserving energy for one last snarky comment.

I've tried to negotiate a truce and aunt flo seems to be leaving. The demand for Reese cup eggs were what was in order to soothe the beast. However, I had to bribe one of my kids who caught me in the act of wolfing them down.

Dang it.

He told me he would make me an offer I couldn't refuse and I now think he's played a bit too much Mafia Wars. May have to rub the kid out if he keeps hitting me up for more.

I did ask Hubby to enroll me in some sort of fat farm. He wasn't amused. On top of just feeling crappy about life in general really hasn't helped matters either. Do you know how hard it is to exercise when you don't have enough of a blood supply to tackle the stairs let alone much of anything else?

I ran into a friend of my folks who went on and on about how heavy I am. Really? I just thought my feet were on vacation. Now that genius here clued me in, I don't have to file for a missing body part. She told me how it's a lifestyle and if I would move more and eat less I would see an improvement. How about I move my missing feet to help her reach that goal of flying?

I tried to get my uterus to go all mid-evil on her but it was distracted by a wayward piece of chocolate in my purse. Very disappointed. What's the point of having issues if they don't come in handy every now and then?

Why so cranky you ask? That baby shower will be next weekend. This is on my Mom's side. Which means there should be emotional warfare to last for months. I'll also get to hear for the 500 millionth time how I am such a disappointment on so many levels. From more than 1 source. Whee. I have a cousin that may just be the next junior Cruella DeVil.

Now if only I could lose like a butt load of weight, gain some confidence, and for once not be hounded by insecurities life would be just great.

Cricket, cricket

Denial is more than a river in Egypt.

I was talking to my Dad and I have to say the man is always stinking positive and upbeat even in the middle of junk. I did not inherit this and he has always pointed out how I am so negative.

Geez, ya think?

He was hoping the boys would come down and spend the day with him but I'm bringing some of my folks' stuff down for them to deal with. Plus I'm giving the box of dishes my Mom didn't want to a cousin. The van is going to be packed out. Besides I'm actually looking forward to some peace and quiet. At least until I listen to a Joyce Meyer's series about not being negative.

The irony is just a bit cruel right now.

I did tell my Dad that they need to come up and go through some boxes. Since we don't know what is going to happen, we want to lighten the load. He told my Mom and I heard the huff with "I don't see why she's making a big deal of it. Can't she hang on to it? I'm sure they'll find another place."

Dad did start chuckling when I realized I was muttering "find a happy place" over and over again. Out loud.

He did tell me he needs me to sign off on their car. Turns out they sold it and their corvette to get a new car. I was really surprised. I asked him if he cried and he said not yet. He said he has gotten a lot of fun out of that car over the last 17 years but doesn't have the money to keep it up any more. I almost bit my tongue off as it took every ounce not to point out why he doesn't have the money for it.

I told him I could always come down early the day of the shower if they need to see my id. He said he would let me know. They may just have me fax it. But then they both insisted I come down early anyway and we could hang out. He even suggested I spend the night. Um, no. I may have extended the olive branch but I'm not ready to go there.

So much of getting rid of some insecurities.


Julie said...

Your parents' friend sounds like a real... Well... Not a nice person! ... I'm so angry about that, that I can't really process whatever else you said. *sigh*

Kaye Butler said...

I got one for my grandfathers funeral (whom I took care of not mother) I walked in, new hair cut, and she says...Well that makes you look even fatter than you already did...

Peace to ya mutha

Kerri said...

Oh honey.
Number one, name and location of the person who said that to you. I have connections everywhere.

Number two: I SO get the exercise thing. Hmmm...I can't BREATHE, yet you'd like me to do 30 minutes of aerobic activity a day. Would you like to give me $10,000 to pay for my funeral as well?

Same with you...if you're bleeding to death, ya can't really "bust a move." People are so damn ignorant it makes me sick. I'm SO sick of people judging others I could absolutely scream. Well, if I could scream. Then I would.

I love you. I"ll see ya Wednesday.

Dianne said...

U should have just told her u were bleeding so bad that everytime u moved you gushed and flooded. At least something snarky to make her mouth drop open and words cease to come out of it. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO YOU. As for the boxes...have a freaking yard sale and spend all the money on marked down easter candy....i love the way my mind works

Dianne said...

oh oh oh Captains log is from Star Trek!

Young Wife said...

Seriously, what a shrew that "friend" is! How awful! When people say nasty things like that my father always says, "Well you can't buy class." Hope the baby shower isn't too terrible.

Sunday said...

Grrr. I am sorry he said that to you. There is nothing quite like someone pointing something out to you as if you were not already aware or bothered by it. Can't we just kill him and tell God he died?