Friday, April 30, 2010

Friday Laughs

I haven't posted any jokes lately. Sooo...

Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and your @$$ is disconnected.

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.
Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, good grief, look how smart I am!

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some OLD FOOL wants to buy a half head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Texas, sir." the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Texas?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and football players down there."
"Really?" said the manager "My wife is from Texas."
"No foolin?" replied the boy.
"Who'd she play for?"

After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.

Hope you have a great weekend!


Fuschia said...

Thank you! I've missed these. :}