Saturday, May 29, 2010

Great

Not sure why this doesn't want to post right but hey - it's just great.

Got to love right after posting something good we get a few monkey wrenches thrown in. Hubs came home and said had to get the truck in the shop. For him to move on it that fast? Ok. At first the garage told us that the guy who worked on it first was wrong. Another day goes by, turns out it was fine. Got it back on Friday which is sort of good because Hubby hasn't had work last few days and will be back on unemployment as of Monday.

Great.

I tried to add some highlights to my hair to sort of blend with Babette a bit better. I sort of fried my hair and it doesn't blend at all.

Great.

(For the locals) Got to hear Matt Cramer win the funniest person of Grand Rapids. He so nailed it! Thanks Matt for taking the high road and leaving out the nasty jokes. Totally smoked the competition and he deserved it.

Great.

Although I'm sort of miffed I got carded at the door. For reals?? Even told the guy he had to be kidding me. Took me forever to dig out my old lady wallet to get my ID. When the guy saw my ID, he said, "Oh" and threw it back at me. Pompous punk. I'm older than he is and he just realized it. Does cougar mean you kick these snot nosed punks head up their rear end??? No?

Great.

We took the boys to see Shrek 4. It was actually better than what I thought it would be so that was a relief.

So that was great.

We went shopping and got a bunch of stuff to send my cousin a care package. I love being able to do this. I have no clue what the heck we are going to do but this is fun to be a blessing to someone else.

Super great.


We are getting stalked by our mortgage company. We came home after seeing Shrek 4 to find a note that they are checking up to see if the place is secure or if we abandoned the place. It said to call the mortgage company regarding our account. Hubby did and once again they said they can't talk to him until the bankruptcy is final. What the heck? You're bugging us remember?

Great.

We were going to go to Shipshewana, IN to the flea markets this Wednesday but it's supposed to rain. So that's now a no go.

Great.

It is raining and thundering which means if it doesn't let up Hubby won't be able to grill.

Great.

I'm sort of vegging out with a book and parking my butt in front of the air conditioner which is my idea of great.

That's sort of how it's been lately, just all over the place. Jolly good. Which may be a sarcastic great.




Have a safe Memorial Day!! Thanks for all who have served.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Testify

Should I put a disclaimer? I'm not putting down anyone's beliefs nor claim my beliefs are better blah, blah, blah. This is what I'm going through so hush. Don't agree? That is fine.

There. Are we good?

Sooo, ya'll know how much auntie flo kicks the snot out of me, right? Well...

A few months ago, I was talking to my cousin on Skype. She was asking me the difference between demonic oppression and possession. I pulled a book out by Derek Prince, who sort of has the basic 101 on all that. I don't claim to know all the ins and outs but my understanding is someone who has asked Jesus to be their Lord and Savior can not be possessed. But they can be oppressed - harassed - etc.

Do tell. That would sort of explain the last few months that's fo sure.

Anyhoo, I was flipping through this book when I came across this section that was talking about female issues, miscarriages etc all being part of a curse. All of a sudden, it was like a light bulb went off. I have been prayed over to be healed for YEARS in this department. I will be honest, that was sort of a bone for me. Felt like God was holding out on me. Plus, I've had people who have prayed for my healing get mad at me for not getting healed. Was told the whole 'you don't have enough faith' placing all the blame on me.

Don't get me started on that one.

I had scriptures on healing taped all over the place but mainly in the bathroom so every time I had to change a pad - I was quoting healing scriptures.

So would you like to know how many people had prayed against a curse? None. Myself included.

I will give a shout out to living with these guys. After all the weapon shows we have watched - it really is important to use the right weapon for the right job. I have been praying to get healed which, in this case, was like shooting a bow and arrow when I needed a blunderbuss for the brick wall.

Don't ask - it's a pirate thing.

There I was, realizing I had been using the wrong weapon and pretty much been blaming God for not holding up His end. Well, kiss mah grits, if that don't beat all. It's a good thing He is so patient and loooong suffering or I'm not sure I would have made it beyond day 2. And even that is in question.

When we were coming back from our camping trip, we were listening to an old Kenneth Copeland teaching tape. He said something that just really clicked for me. He was talking about being redeemed from the curse and we have the Name of Jesus. Anything with a name HAS to bow it's knee to Thee Name. I've heard this before but it had a whole different take this time around.

Aunt flo had already shown up and I kept saying I'm redeemed from the curse. I kept saying this off and on for a few days. Had a normal period! It wasn't heavy and it stopped all on it's own at the right time. I'm not wiped out like usual. Because I'm redeemed from the curse, baby!

Hallelujah! This is huge!! Years and years of this crap with no rhyme or reason behind it.

Here are a few things I have learned. 1. each person is different and you can read that Jesus healed people differently. To have the mindset that I can only be healed by X - then you are setting yourself up for trouble. I know as I've done it. 2. this isn't some magic 8 ball nor is it a formula that you pray this way every time with the same results. It is walking with God having a relationship and finding out what He wants you to do and how He wants to do it. He can "heal" you through a doctor or through an instant fix. Or you may have to take up your weapons and drive the enemy out. I've seen both - done both. It's a good idea to find out from the General what weapon you are to use.

For whatever reason, I never paid much attention to the S on the end of weapon. We have weapons to take down spiritual strongholds (read Eph. 6). I'm not sure why it clicked this time, don't know if it was a timing thing, or a wrong mindset on my part but I am very happy it all clicked. Years and years of prayer to get healed and got a big fat zero. I was so frustrated. It certainly has been a curse because it has robbed me of many things. I prayed against a curse and things are working!!

Certainly sounds like oppression to me. A curse is burdensome. Weighs you down. Sucks the life right out of you on all levels. If that isn't oppression then it must be the makings of some new vampire thriller. I think I'll pass.

I ran into someone I hadn't seen for a while and she asked how we were doing. I said pressed but blessed. I got nothing else - me and Jesus. There are days I feel like such a failure on every level but I got Jesus. I'm finding He's more than enough. I have been pressed down on so many levels that there has GOT to be something just ready to break open for the good. Matter of fact, I think it's already starting. Knowing that is a blessing all by itself.

Monday, May 24, 2010

I Think I'm LOST

If you haven't watched LOST yet you might not want to read any further. But how could you not??

I'm both happy and confused about the ending of LOST. I was so glad to see people back together but totally confused on the whole flash sideways and people not knowing each other to suddenly remembering and then sort of in a heaven like setting.

Hubby totally got it and said I'm missing the point. I watched Jimmy Kimmel and he said he feels that LOST was mainly Jack's story. While the other people were a part of it - it still circled all around Jack.

Doesn't Hurley have the biggest puppy dog eyes you've ever seen? When Jack told Hurley it's you, it's always been you and when Hurley looked at Ben and asked for help - mercy!

It's weird because part of me still wants some answers but another part of me doesn't care as I'm happy it's over with but sad at the same time. The guy that played Locke said it best - "it's like coming to an end of a good book - you don't want it to end but you finish it and say wow that was good."

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that a show that has driven me bonkers with what the hey moments was going to leave me slightly hanging but at least happy that they are back together - sort of. Whatever. It's over.

Guess this means I now have my Tuesday nights back.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Will I Ever See My Floor Again?

Our place is trashed. I'm still trying to get all the camping laundry done. On top of that we got some of our home school books in so there are boxes and wrappers from that. I already had stuff out to finish off the school year. Plus I pulled some of my scrapbook stuff out because the bug has bitten me. This was before we went camping but now it is just a mountain of stuff.

I can't see my floor, there aren't any clean table tops, 2 couches are buried under clean laundry and I am fresh out of ambition. About this time one of the boys asked what to eat.

Sigh

I wonder if we can survive off of left over potato chips and M&Ms?

Makes for no blog post that's for sure. It is just a weird time of year as it seems like there is just too much stuff to do. I've noticed everyone seems to be getting hit with it.

If that wasn't a pathetic enough excuse, I have books to read. Kerri introduced me to a Bargain Book store and oh sweet Jesus, help me to have self control. I really need some brain fluff right now too.

I have been a bit overwhelmed looking and trying to plan the next school year. I've been researching on what the law is for homeschooling through high school. They recommend you plan the next 4 years. After I stopped breathing through a paper bag, Hubby said I went bazerk. I never did post the huge fight we ended up having over school stuff. In front of our kids. We are so going to medal on that worst parent awards this year.

I got some music stuff for the kids and they have already snatched that up and are going to town with it. Which means my wonderful plan of using that to bribe them to get their other stuff done has now just gone up in flames. Why do I even bother to plan when all my plans seem to suck?

Riddle me that one.

But I will say while I was going through some of my scrapbook stuff, I found some of the goofy stuff I've done for the kids. I remember when they were totally into spy stuff. 1 year we got them all the same coats, J's was a smaller size, and to tell them apart I made them like an id with their spy code name but also had contact number on it just in case type of thing - all on their favorite color of paper and then laminated it. I found a copy of one of those and I asked the boys if they remembered it. They said, "Oh yeah! You are such a cool mom with all the different little things you've done over the years."

Cue Kleenex patrol cuz I just about bawled right there on the spot! Seriously. Because there are times that they don't remember a ton of stuff. This made me so happy - I handed out some M&Ms.

Happy sigh to replace I'm a loser sigh.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Oh Mah Garsh

Could someone pah-lease erase the target off my back?! My busy few days was my yearly torture of our camping trip. With all the neighborhood creeps, I didn't feel comfortable to announce Hey, we're going camping - come and get it. No thanks.

Sooo I painted on a smile, told myself -and the guys - that I was doing this cuz I love them. I left out the fine print that some how, some way I will make them all pay but why clue them in to my evil ways??

Actually, that's not entirely true. I know Hubby loves to do this. I watch as the muscles start to relax in his tightly wound body. Dude has been stressing for a while. Both of us have. So I thought this would be good to help him unwind.

Cue some doomsday music.

I'm slightly worried that this kind of crap is only happening to me. Don't believe me? How can you explain all of this?

We are 3 miles away from the campsite. This really is in the middle of no where. It is over a half hour to get to a place where you can get a signal for a cell phone. We know as we found out the hard way.

We're on this primitive road, bouncing away when kerblewy. Hubby was trying to tell me it was just a flat knowing I was about seconds away from panic mode. We weren't even out of the truck and I knew it wasn't a blown tire. I think it was a ball joint that went and it landed on a tire rod or something like that. It twisted in the wheel a bit and there was no way we could limp it along to anywhere.

I did mention we were in the middle of no where right? I dubbed the place Booger Fling, Mi because that's about all you do - fling your boogies as you're driving down the road on your way to civilization.

Those muscles that were suppose to start relaxing just amped up by about a 1000. Houston we have a problem. The twins, smartly, kept their mouths shut verses Jared was about one more whine of I don't want to be here comment from getting smacked upside the head.

Luckily a guy stopped and took Fred to go find a garage. They did and came back. The guy, bless his heart, offered to help us heft all our stuff to where they were staying at cabins. Now Hubby is like the ultimate boyscout of always be prepared. We even have to bring our water.

Tell me again why I put up with this??

There was no way we could heft all our crap even a few feet away. So we decided that Hubby would go with the guy to their cabin to call a tow truck and the boys and I emptied the truck.

Shout out to Nicholas and Michael who stepped up and hauled some serious booty to get r done. Jared, well, we let him live. I got so tired of the whining, I told him to sit in the truck and stay out of my way or so help me. Dude is terrified of just about anything with wings - like bugs. Guess what there are a lot of in Booger Fling, Mi? Bugs.

We were almost done when Hubs got back. He helped us finish the last of it when the tow truck got there. I was really surprised he got there that fast. I also think Hubby has some sort of connection to his truck and may have fought a tear or 2 as he watched the truck fade into the distance.

We were now on the clock and had to haul butt to get camp set up before we lost light. Luckily Dude brought 2 tents because we were able to put all the food and clothes and all the other stuff we left in the truck in the other tent. It worked out so well, we think this may be a new system.

That is if they ever get my butt to go again but I'll leave that surprise for next year.

I will say that right at the beginning I was really ticked off at God. We had all prayed about what week to go, protection over stuff - you name it, we covered it. We were all a bit stunned for this to have happen. Cuz it was bad. But I stopped myself and suddenly all the different ways it could have happen started going through my head. Like on the highway or on pavement. If we would have made it to the campsite, which we found out later already had people there, the tow truck wouldn't have been able to have found us. If we were farther down the road our truck would have blocked traffic not to mention where we broke down actually had room for us to set up camp verses a lot of other places didn't.

I started pointed this out to the guys. I don't know about them but I know my attitude change right quick and I was thanking God for keeping us safe.

Next day, Hubs hoofed it over 2 miles to the guy with the land line. He drives Hubs back and the 2 of them just hit it off great. Turns out we were being mocked by everyone in Booger Fling, Mi for being the idiots who camped on the side of the road.

The nerve.

Let me tell you, we had just about everyone stop to tell us there were better places to camp and then we had to tell them we had no choice. As the boys and I were unloading the truck, 1 guy stopped and wanted to know if my old man had kicked me out and if I needed some help or a place to stay. I looked at his 2 little booger eaters and I was waiting for 1 of them to ask if they were getting a new momma. Um, no. Dude seemed disappointed when I told him my HUSBAND was already getting a tow truck. He drove away and Nicholas, who was standing right there the whole time, asked me if the guy was hitting on me.

Seriously, y'all need to tell me why I put up with this crap.

This all happened Saturday and we got the truck back Sunday evening. It cost less than what we were thinking so that was another sigh of relief.

So now that Hubby got his truck back, he was in a much better mood. As for me, well I was camping in a tent on the side of the road getting hit on by every other car that went by cuz it turns out I'm hotter than a booger. Who knew? Thankfully the trucks were all the old geezers that just shook their heads at us idiots. But I make it sound like there was loads of traffic. Try 20 cars for the whole day.

All that to find out it was the worst season for mushroom hunting. The whole area had an early spring and then about 2 weeks ago got hit with 3 inches of snow. We found 2 mushrooms.

But all in all, we really pulled together as a team and got it done. I am so happy that is over with and even more happy to be home!!! Just in time to find out aunt flo is here for a visit.

Sigh

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Busy, Busy

Okay I am in for a busy few days so I'm just posting some jokes. I had a bunch of these so don't throw the stones at me and hope they make you laugh!

INFORMATION ABOUT "GONORRHEA LECTIM"

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It's pronounced "Gonna Re-elect 'Em," and it is a terrible obamanation.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted it in 2008 ... but now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.

It's sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market called "Votemout". You take the first dose in 2010 and the second dose in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again; otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.

Several states are already on top of this, like Virginia and New Jersey, and apparently now Massachusetts, with many more seeing the writing on the wall. Hopefully, with awareness, the cure will spread stopping this disease.


One sunny day in February, 2013 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."


The Marine looked at the man and said, Sir, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."
The Marine again told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Obama is no longer president and no longer resides here."
The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day,the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same U.S. Marine, saying "I would like to go in and meet with President Obama."
The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Obama. I've told you already that Mr. Obama is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don't you understand?"

The old man looked at the Marine and said, "Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it."
The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "See you tomorrow, Sir."


Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a sh*t.head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote...

Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus and saw the car had an Obama sticker... We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

THE SLAP
Sitting together on a train was Obama, George Bush Jr., a little old lady,and a young blonde girl with large brea$t$.

The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek.

No one speaks.

The old lady thinks: Obama must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him.

The blonde girl thinks: Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him.

Obama thinks: Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but
missed and got me instead.

George Bush thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can slap the sh*t out of Obama again.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

To Edit Or Not To Edit - That Is The Question

Ok, this has me frustrated. I have been writing blog posts but when it is time to hit publish, I find myself unable to do it. Instead I just save it and let it sit with the intention of fixing it up later. Trouble with that is I'm finding myself more and more unwilling to say anything personal. Feel like it's being used as ammo against me. I hate it. I hate that enough people have me seconding guessing myself and wondering where the next attack is going to come from over something I say.

Talk about anything you say can and will be used against you. Too bad I had no idea I was in court. The court of the opinion of others.


Believe it or not - I'm not a very open person. It takes me a while before I'm willing to open up on some things and would rather beat myself in the head than cry in front of anyone. I will use humor to throw people off the scent, if you will. My own Mom doesn't get me so why would other people?

Yet, dang it all, I am such a people person. At least, I used to be.

I seem to find people that are one sided friendships. Where I find myself going above and beyond because I know what it is like to face something all alone but when I can't continue doing that or, heaven forbid, need help myself - that's usually when the friendship ends.

In one week I've had 2 emails where someone has just gone to town on my emotions and told me just how stupid and awful I am. Why thank you - appreciate that. Then there is always someone who wants to slap a scripture on it to justify what they are saying.

Trouble is I so, so, so, so want to defend myself. I get fired up when someone makes a snap judgement without getting all the facts or they'll feel it was the right way to handle it. Okay misunderstandings happen but to not even let me say my side and just pronounce me wrong?? Got a lot of dang nerve if you ask me. The thing that has frustrated me is I have gotten this attack from a lot of people lately.

You can just bet yer sweet boots I have been praying non-stop about it as well but sadly haven't gotten the answers just yet to the whole thing.

Relationships are so weird. I don't get people sometimes. I have found that some people are still stuck in junior high. Anyone else having drama over facebook or is it just me?? Now, I love me some facebook games because honestly, it's either that or grade some biology or something and you just know what is going to win. But I've found that if you become friends with friend B then friend A will be livid with you and will no longer want to be your friend.

Seriously???

Then in comes my Mom. I'm reading her response to my email and while I was glad I wasn't seething, I found myself just really tired of having to defend myself - to justify my existence. How dare I have the nerve to take in oxygen? Or have an opinion that differs with someone else? Was there a memo passed around that I wasn't aware of?? It's like when you were in school and you were suppose to wear green for St.Paddy's Day but you forgot and all the other kids are giving you crap about it.


I have been in prayer over all of this for months. I was sort of whining about wanting to know what is so wrong with me to get this clobbered. Thankfully, God was like hold the phone - who said I'm the problem? I had to go and get sarcastic saying you're kidding, right? You haven't seen the carnage going on? He responded He has but wants to know why I think I'm the one that is wrong. Sort of like who have you been listening to type of question. For so many people to just come out and just go at me like this? What am I doing wrong?? Again, felt like God asked what makes me think I'm doing something wrong. My reply is if I'm not the one in the wrong than why all the attacks?? Cuz this sucks!!!

While I'm not willing to share His response to it - I can say that it has been a time of ah-ha, getting to some deep heeling but all horribly lonely. I know that I am in right standing with God but people seem to be a different matter all together. More walking on the water with just Jesus I guess. It's been cool some of the stuff He is showing me but there really isn't anyone to tell it to because if it's coming from me - according to others - it's not from God.

Really how could God use someone like me anyway? To that I say haha, go watch Indian Jones and the Last Crusade. They thought for sure the cup of Christ was this perfect vessel - it was this tall, gold, regal looking thing that was all shiny and full of jewels - perfect. But that is not what Jesus is about. And to quote - "he chose poorly".

We have got to be just ready for something big here. With all the praying, with all the time we've spent seeking God and spending time with Him - there has GOT to be be something good going on.

Kerri and I were watching Beth Moore on the Believing God DVDs she got. We went through the five steps of what to say and I told her I am so glad the part that says "I am who God says I am" is the middle finger. Cuz y'all? I have just had it with people slamming me every time I turn around. I may have gone a little overboard of flipping the bird but I have to say, it felt really good. For every person that was telling I'm no good, not enough - fill in the blank- birdie!! I am who God says I am! Take that satan for all the people you have used to tell me I'm just a piece of poo - that I'm not good enough, that I don't measure up. Well, up yours.

I told you, I am coming out of this grave! Regardless if there isn't anyone willling to undo the grave clothes - I am still coming out! I'll gnaw my way through the clothes if I have to dagnabbit!

Snort, pant, wheez

music playing in background "Nah, nah, naaaah, na - hey, hey - good bye"

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Freak Out - Again

Tuesday was a rainy day. I came down the steps and stumbled towards the frig. On the way there I happened to look out our window and noticed something off next door. Hooptyville aka the house butchered into apartments has been empty for like a week. I think everyone has moved out. Haven't seen any cars and thankfully it has been rather quiet.

So I noticed a red car in the back and saw 2 teens, a guy and a girl, who were wearing hoodies. Didn't think much of it but then saw the guy climb on a chair and crawled through a window. I went to the bathroom and wasn't sure what to think. When I came back out, the car was gone and no sign of either one. I didn't think much of it because of the caliber of people that have lived there and figured that someone got behind on their rent and was locked out.

Later that day, in the bathroom again, I heard a couple guys that said "check it out this window has been busted open". I sort of turned around and peeked out the bottom of the window and sure enough, saw another dude crawl through the window.

Such a high class of folks around here.

But the whole thing sort of freaked me out. First off, the guy and girl did this in the morning - during the day. Then the second 2 where in the afternoon but have no idea where they came from. Our postage stamp backgrounds are all blocked off so to have someone just be next door really freaked me out. Third, at night there used to be lights that clicked on. But since almost all the houses around us are up for sale - there is no one to replace their burned out bulbs. I look out my windows and it is dark. Granted, that is a good thing at night but...

We have a light in our driveway that will click on when it detects motion. We've had a few cat issues that means the stupid light has clicked on at all hours of the night. Did I mention this light shines right into our room? So now I'm wondering if it hasn't all been cats.

On top of all this, I think I ate something that did not set well with me. I baked a carrot cake and I was so miserable I couldn't even look at the thing. My stomach expanded 20 times it's normal size. Never in my life have I wanted to puke so badly. I just wanted something to exit and did not matter to me which end it picked. Yes, I was in that much pain. Took some gas pills and that helped.

So I decided I'll live. Maybe. I have no idea what I'm even typing right now but minor detail.

Then Hubby reminded me that it's that magical time of the year when our camping trip will be coming up.

Oh. Goodie.

I then said I thought I should bravely stay home and guard the place cuz those jokers had no problem doing their window climb in broad daylight. Didn't even use gloves they are so hard cord. I got the look from the guys. I don't think this is going to fly.

Dang it.

You would think I would put 2 and 2 together and start to come up with believable excuses to get out of this long before now. Wonder if minor food poisoning would count?

Monday, May 10, 2010

Rocking Weekend

Talk about a whirl-wind weekend! Had a great visit with the in-laws. I tried really, really hard not to laugh when they begged us to move to PA.

The shopping anointing was working in full strength. Got stuff on sale and my MIL picked up the tab. And I lifted holy hands in thanksgiving. Plus she brought up a bag of shoes she didn't really use. My MIL has shoe issues as in there are never enough shoes. I could fit about half of them and the rest my wide duck feet would not go in no matter how hard I pushed. Sort of felt like one of the ugly step-sisters from Cinderella.

We had more shopping fun Saturday. We dropped off the guys (except Jared) at Guitar Center while my MIL, J and I hit a couple other stores. I think Guitar Center is now the new Chuck E. Cheese for my boys. They are still talking about it. M got to play around with an electric guitar while N fell in love with a digital piano. Both boys were complimented on their playing and this totally made their day. Scratch that - their month.

We ended up going to one of J's favorite places - CeCe's Pizza. And you better believe he went a bit crazy with the mac and cheese pizza all while I tried not to gag thinking about it. Whatever floats their boat.

We also hit the Christian bookstore. I'm thinking this may be my mecca or my crack dealer, I'm not sure which. The anointing somehow had a truck load of books all on clearance. I think I was in the second verse of the hallelujah chorus when Hubs showed me what all he found and then we both about caused a scene. When we check out we started giggling at how small the total was. Hubby said if had only known the amount he would have grabbed a few other things.

Why yes, we have issues. Whatever gave us away? What can I say? We really like books.

Sunday we wrapped it all up by going to Cracker Barrel and once the in-laws left we went and saw Iron Man 2. I have been informed that I totally rock and make the rest of you moms look like total slackers. At least according to my spawn so nothing personal.

But it went way too fast and we all had fun. Although I'm not sure Hubby did. I think the 500 hints to move to PA sort of got on his nerves. In an attempt to change the subject, I did have my FIL check out our van. From what I've gathered we're either going to need to dump a lot of money into it or get a new one. Way to change the topic - go me! Too bad it didn't do anything for Hubby's mood. Sorry dear!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Happy Sigh

While I should be passed out and drooling right now, I thought I would post something that will probably only make sense to me, which really is most of this blog. But that is neither here nor there.

Jared had a good birthday. My folks did not show up - didn't even call. I can tell this is an epic pout. No card for the dude but then again they probably would send a check that my bank wouldn't cash cuz they're just crazy stupid like that. I feel this odd mixture of relief and yet sadness all at the same time. I'm trying to care but sort of failing at it.

But birthday boy was his normal goofy self. I'm too tired to try and post any pictures. Can not believe my baby is 11. Oh boy, another round of tweendom. I am so praying like crazy that he's much easier to deal with in the next few years than what his brothers have been. I've heard that teenagers are just large 2 yr olds. I sort of get that now and J was a very good 2 yr old, so I'm thinking it should be all good in the hood.

My MIL and I stayed up until the wee hours talking. And by wee hours, I mean Hubby came down the steps to go to work. Dang - time really does fly. I did get the eyebrow arch of judgement. It was funny because later that night I caught Michael giving Pap the eyebrow arch of you are toast. Then I made them do a father and son eyebrow arch of judgement. Yes, I'm weird but you already knew that.

We got the boys shopping all done. Came home and got the cake all baked and decorated. Made one of his favorite meals and the scarfing began. We decided we would do the cake a little bit later. I laid down on the couch, and according to Hubby, was out cold. He woke me up around 10 so we could give the boy his cake.

Sheesh!

So now everyone has gone off to bed, the place is quiet, and I'm now getting hit with a sugar rush.

Oh irony, how you love to mock and scorn me.

While I should go empty the dishwasher and load it up again, my bod is saying, "listen chick, not only do I not feel like it, but I will revolt." I've never been threatened before to this level by myself so I'm thinking I won't push it. Instead I pushed a pain reliever pm down my throat to help with the aid of sleep.

I'm going to need all the help I can get cuz I will be having retail therapy at some point. Let me tell you, the anointing has already hit for my MIL. We have a discount drug store up here. You go to wally world and the wally world brand on meds is made around these here parts. Suddenly the crack heads down the street make sense now. Anywho, one of the employees had a gift card and basically ended up paying for my MIL's stuff.

Leave it to her. I'm telling you, she has a gift.

She says she is feeling a strong shopping anointing and really, who am I to not yield to the anointing?? That is my story and I'm sticking to it.

I will say I am just loving my guys. I'm not going to write a big sappy post about J cuz I'm really having a hard time knowing that time is just galloping by. But I will say that I got Michael today. I got the full body tackle hug - in public.

Happy sigh

He wants some guitar music and was saving his money for it but I could tell there was a couple things he wanted to get. I told him get the video game and the Lego kit and I would help with the music. When it was all said and done, he spent more than what he was planning and had a lot less than what he thought. I could tell it just got to him bad.

He has the most expressive brown eyes I have ever seen. Always have. He was a little kid and his eyes would get the size of dinner plates and you just knew what he was feeling. His eyes do a lot of the talking for him. I knew he wanted the video game and he's been talking about the Lego thing for months. I could tell he was beating himself up for not planning it better and was trying to figure out how he messed up.

I leaned over and said I'll still help cover the music. Relief washed over his face and those eyes! Just loved it. And he tackle hugged me right there in wally world. For me, it was just priceless. He is always so appreciative when we get him stuff and his reactions just make it totally worth it.

I did get chuckling at the older two. Last weekend we had to run a bunch of errands. We ended up near the guitar store and had gone in. As I later heard it from them, I rushed them and didn't let them just look. I started to argue but knew they were right. So getting the music M wants will put us near the same store and I'm thinking the guys will get dropped off as I run a different errand and there will be peace in the land.

Thus securing my status as one cool momma.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Where Does This Leave Me?

It just dawned on me that I need to buy a Mother's day card. Oh dear.

Houston we have a problem.

I'm sure this will be yet another challenge on finding that right card that finds the balance of you suck and here, this is my attempt at honoring you so I won't fry in hell. Hopefully the humor section will bail me out.

I told Hubby I sort of feel bad about the whole thing but not for the reasons you think. My Mom was totally in the wrong but I can honestly say I reacted wrong. I was the one doing the screaming and yelling. How my Mom keeps score - that is most definitely a loss.

So where is the section on how to react the right way? Most of us have been taught to button the lip, stuff the emotion until you can wreak havoc on an unsuspecting pillow only to celebrate with a bag of chocolate. Or least that's how I coped. There has got to be a better way. Sadly, I have yet to find the proper way.

Is life really this confusing? And why are there really sleazy commercials that are selling perfume?? Sorry. This is what happens when I try to blog and watch TV at the same time. I'm a multitasker that gets distracted really, really...hey another stupid commercial. Wait, where was I?

Total side note - we have a motion detector light in our driveway. There is some crazy animal that keeps setting the stupid thing off. The other night two cats were totally getting into it and not in a bow-chica-bow-wow kind of way. Let the record show that I totally resent it that women fighting are referred to as cat fights, because I have never seen chicks go at it like this. They were crazy. I'm now thinking of filing my nails to a point and randomly hiss at people that annoy me. But I have a feeling I would end up being medicated.

Scratch that.

snicker

Oh dang, I totally lost what I was trying to say. Doesn't really matter as chances are I was just rambling anyway. I'm having a hard time focusing because LOST totally cooked my noodle. Mercy! I have to applaud the writers for how is went down cuz it just makes sense. I had a theory that Jack was going to be the new Jacob and Sawyer was going to be the new Smokey and keep the game rolling but not sure now. I read off of facebook that a lot of folks are saying that Ben will be the next Jacob as he had to be humbled and purged of his sin and keeping Smokey focused on the 6 kept Ben safe. That totally makes sense. I was sort of miffed at how we all hated Ben and now he's this meek little kitten following along. I have a feeling this is going to be one heck of ride on the last few shows.

So me, lack of focus, a bit tired from all the cleaning I've been doing as the in-laws will be heading up tomorrow, toss in birthday boy will keep us jumping - leaves me not much time to blog. Then again that seems to have been the case for the last few weeks anyway.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Therapy Session 716

My Mom struck again. While this wasn't an epic battle, she did managed to land a few blows. I spent most of the day battling out in my mind what should I have done different or what should I have said differently.

I really do wonder what would Jesus do in this situation cuz you can't fix stupid and you can't really dress it up and dance with it either.

No idea where that came from but I'm just going to go with it.

With this week being J's b-day, she called to make a plan. I had to inform her that the in-laws would be here and I didn't think it would be a good idea if they came up. I suggested they come up early or after the weekend.

This did not go over too well.

Then it got ugly.

She started going off saying he is her grandkid too and we can't exclude them. I reminded her of the time when we had to put the in-laws on a time out for bad behavior. I said the rules still apply - anyone who is going to cause a problem or try to ruin my kids' b-day will miss the next b-day.


How sad is this that we had to come up with rules?

Seems like once kids entered the picture, one of our moms has thrown a hissy fit over something at birthday time. Nothing we have done has chilled either mom out. And way to ruin every single birthday for me with all the drama.

I find myself in an impossible situation. The moms can not, and should not, be in the same room with each other. My Mom tends to get the whole kiss my grits attitude to anyone who disagrees with her. I've also noticed that any time my Mom is taking in air it annoys my MIL. Makes for such a wonderful time.

With my folks being gone last few years, we've managed to have nice birthday celebrations without a problem. Break time is over and angst is in the air. My Mom said they would just show up anyway and my in-laws need to grow up and get over it. I tried to tell her that was pretty typical of her to show up, cause a problem, and leave me the mess to clean up. She laughed and said that's my problem. One I would like to avoid.

We did get into it a bit over how all this has affected the boys. She blew it off and told me when it's all said and done and she is proved right, she wants to hear me say "Mom, you were right." Now, I can't repeat what I was thinking but I did say, "Mom, nothing will have been worth the hell you put my family through." She told me I have issues, I'm a hateful person and it's really no wonder why I don't have very many friends.

Ouch.

They seriously don't let you in the witness protection program to avoid crap like this???

Mom went on to give me some advice - that I should tell my kids that their feelings are a lie. That all the pain that they feel and the trauma they have gone through really isn't true and therefore need to get over it. I told her I refuse to tell my kids that the pain they feel is a lie. She said I'm the problem as I'm coddling them. I said her way of parenting hasn't really done wonders for me. I said when you are told your feelings aren't true and don't mean anything that can cause anger and some days I keep that part locked up with a bag of cookies. She said if I would just get over it I would finally lose weight.

All I can say is she better be glad she's in another state cuz I think I would have slapped her for that.

She did get all choked up and said she wants to be in my life and my kids life which I said she should have thought of that 5 years ago. She said she wants to be restored in our lives and I said I really don't see that happening. Why would I want to continue being told my feelings don't matter and my kids' feelings don't matter? She said that is a lie and not true. I laughed and said that right there is the problem.

I asked J if he wanted them there and he said it would just cause everyone to get upset. He said maybe they could come up a couple days before but then added knowing grandma she'll want to set the record straight and sit and tell us what to think and what we should feel. That is coming from a soon to be 11 yr old.

I can get that my Mom and I are totally wired differently. We see things totally different than the other one. I do see that she just sees things black and white. But what I struggle with is I'm willing to let her be her but she won't do that for me. I'm no longer wanting her to change and be the person I want her to be. I'm passed all that. But I am so tired of constantly being told that I'm not right and that I don't have the freedom to be myself let alone feel what I feel. I can't seem to get her to see this or to see my side of things. I am not her clone.

Now if I can just figure out what in the world I'm supposed to do with her, I'll be set.