Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Where Does This Leave Me?

It just dawned on me that I need to buy a Mother's day card. Oh dear.

Houston we have a problem.

I'm sure this will be yet another challenge on finding that right card that finds the balance of you suck and here, this is my attempt at honoring you so I won't fry in hell. Hopefully the humor section will bail me out.

I told Hubby I sort of feel bad about the whole thing but not for the reasons you think. My Mom was totally in the wrong but I can honestly say I reacted wrong. I was the one doing the screaming and yelling. How my Mom keeps score - that is most definitely a loss.

So where is the section on how to react the right way? Most of us have been taught to button the lip, stuff the emotion until you can wreak havoc on an unsuspecting pillow only to celebrate with a bag of chocolate. Or least that's how I coped. There has got to be a better way. Sadly, I have yet to find the proper way.

Is life really this confusing? And why are there really sleazy commercials that are selling perfume?? Sorry. This is what happens when I try to blog and watch TV at the same time. I'm a multitasker that gets distracted really, really...hey another stupid commercial. Wait, where was I?

Total side note - we have a motion detector light in our driveway. There is some crazy animal that keeps setting the stupid thing off. The other night two cats were totally getting into it and not in a bow-chica-bow-wow kind of way. Let the record show that I totally resent it that women fighting are referred to as cat fights, because I have never seen chicks go at it like this. They were crazy. I'm now thinking of filing my nails to a point and randomly hiss at people that annoy me. But I have a feeling I would end up being medicated.

Scratch that.


Oh dang, I totally lost what I was trying to say. Doesn't really matter as chances are I was just rambling anyway. I'm having a hard time focusing because LOST totally cooked my noodle. Mercy! I have to applaud the writers for how is went down cuz it just makes sense. I had a theory that Jack was going to be the new Jacob and Sawyer was going to be the new Smokey and keep the game rolling but not sure now. I read off of facebook that a lot of folks are saying that Ben will be the next Jacob as he had to be humbled and purged of his sin and keeping Smokey focused on the 6 kept Ben safe. That totally makes sense. I was sort of miffed at how we all hated Ben and now he's this meek little kitten following along. I have a feeling this is going to be one heck of ride on the last few shows.

So me, lack of focus, a bit tired from all the cleaning I've been doing as the in-laws will be heading up tomorrow, toss in birthday boy will keep us jumping - leaves me not much time to blog. Then again that seems to have been the case for the last few weeks anyway.


rthling said...

Blah, blah, blah...
I had to quit reading after you switched topics to LOST. I haven't seen it yet, and don't wanna know.
But I have to tell you. You had me at Mother's Day card.
I H.A.T.E. shopping for them. I always end up with the ugly cry when I'm in search of the perfect combination of "you suck" and "I wanna be just like you when I grow up." Humor doesn't fly with my mom. She gets all offended, because it's an obvious cop-out.
So I end up in search of a card that says something along the lines of, "Happy Mother's Day to a special lady in my life. I hope you have a blessed day and no one poops on your year." (or something like that)
Yesterday she brought me a CD for me to tamper with the length of the song, so it will fit in the time slot of her Senior Ms. Tennessee pageant talent protion. Yep, you heard me right. She's in a pageant. Don't get me wrong, she's always been beautiful. But right now, I'm spending my days working in our church kitchen, helping with TN disaster relief, since our town flooded and we have homeless people who have absolutely nothing right now.
Mom had the b@lls to bring the CD to me at the church, and then suggest that our sound dude might tweak it some and speed it up, so that it would be just "that" much shorter. I told her that I didn't think he would have time because he was at home ripping out the carpet and the bottom 12 inches of sheet rock and all the suff in their house, because they lost everything, so he might be a little busy.
Again, whatever.
In case you haven't noticed, I might be verging on the bitter, here.
Or not.

rthling said...

dang. that was long. sorry for the rant. can't put that on my blog, lest it find a way to her attention.

Anonymous said...

Impressively, I actually remembered I needed to buy a mother's day card for my grandmother's and mom. Unimpressively, (I know, that's not a real word) I spent too much money to go out and buy said cards with presents, so I have to wait until Friday to do my shopping, which is practically last minute, and I hate last minute shopping, but I do it practically all the time. Sigh...

Kerri said...

I would be GLAD to make a mother's day card for your mom....just say the word.

Love you.

Joanna said...

D - so what will she do if it's put on hold with you know the flood and all going on?? I'm thinking our moms are related in some weird way. Rant away. And sorry for the LOST spoiler but people died and I'm trying to cope. hee hee

Lauren - we're supposed to get gifts too??? Flaming bag of dog poo just doesn't seem to be the it gift this year. ;)

Kerri - snicker

Fuschia said...

I have always been in the same boat with Father's Day cards...until last year. I actually found one that basically said, "Thanks for leaving me alone as a kid and letting me become my own person." I read it: so you didn't pay any attention to me growing up, but amazingly I turned out GREAT!! Somehow, he was touched by the gesture. Go figure!

Since I will be gone this weekend, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

Chris said...

what she said...

jubilee said...

I know I should be willing to shell out $5 for my mom and two mothers-in-law, but dang, it costs me $15 in cards alone. *grumble*