Monday, July 5, 2010

Heads Up

Again, sorry to send out emails to some of my bloggy peeps - part of Hubby's training I guess. If I understand this right, he's starting his own online business selling Herbalife. We've been taking the stuff for over a week and dude lost 5 pounds. I've lost 2.

I hate him, just so you know.

But we have got to do something different. When there is talk of huge pay cuts - not good. Here's hoping this can bring in extra while we're still waiting on directions on what to do next.

To the peeps that got the email - it's just a link to a video about the products. Hopefully he won't have to do that again or people may start lobbing tomatoes at me.

No pressure.

The hard thing is now I feel all this pressure. Hubby is excited about this - can't say that I am. I am so jaded and skeptical it's not even funny. I know he'll drop weight and will probably do fine. Me, on the hand, is a whole different ball of wax. Do I feel better after taking this stuff? Yes. But I'm looking at my desire for the candy bar is out weighing the desire to lose weight and feeling better. And no pill has cured that as far as I'm aware of.

Emotional eating has been my family tradition going back hundreds of years - I'm almost positive of it.

So now it's not just a matter of weight - it's some other emotions to battle as well. Do I need to remind anyone that I keep the inner b*tch distracted with a bag of cookies?

I'm not all that comfortable of saying hey I'm doing something different. Because now it's out there. I would rather do it quietly, on the sly, that way if I fail or have a set back no one knows about it. Questions like, "Hey how's that diet thing going for you? How many pounds have you lost?" I really hate those because all it says to me is oh look, something else you've failed at. I went through that before and had people judge me week by week if I lost any more weight or ran into someone who said hey I heard you were on a diet and give you the head to toe look.

Shoot me now.

Awkward to say the least. But knowing I would face the firing squad didn't stop the midnight snacking. Because I come to the wall and when I hit it, there is no going around it. No pill, no diet, has fixed the pain. Sadly, that lie of the slice of pie, or what have you, that can put a pause button on the pain and you know that pie won't tell you to buzz off or be too busy for you.

I've gone through a lot of sh*t in my life. I feel like I'm just trying to survive so I can get off this mud ball and go home. Maybe there will be a glimmer of joy here, a bit of peace over this or that, but all and all I can't say life has been a great ride. I may not have the finer things in life but I can have a brownie with ice cream and hot fudge sauce thankyouverymuch.

Great. Another railway on the train wreck waiting to happen. Well, if nothing else it will give me more blog fodder. Pardon me while I slink off to go hide in the corner.


rthling said...

I'm with ya, babe! Seems like every time I try to do something about my weight, I can't deny the pull of the chocolate.
Blah, blah, blah... something about strongholds, I know.
Meanwhile, my mom always says stuff like, "wow, you look like you've dropped a few pounds!" And I have to say, "no, it's just the shirt, I've actually gained a couple (or ten)."
So I'll join you on the firing range. We can hold hands while we're blindfolded.

Joanna said...

*sniff* Thanks!!

And I bet you are sooo glad you didn't give me your email right about now. ;)

Dianne said...

rapture practice

Debbie said...

I hope the new endeavor goes well. I would not be a good salesperson!

Julie said...

You know... I think my uncle was selling that, back in the 90s. I seem to remember him trying to get my Mom to buy some. *lol*

Kerri said...

: ( wub you.
I'm sorry you are sad on this mudball. I know the feeling though. I'm ready to go...