Thursday, July 22, 2010

In Keeping With The Theme...

It really seems like women have been the guinea pigs of fashion. I mentioned the box of lies, as well as the dangers of waxing. High heels hasn't done women's feet any favors. I've mentioned a time or 20 that I look like a wounded hippo on stilts when wearing heels - part of why I avoid it.

On and on it goes. And yet we buy into it. Or at least I do.

I can say, after reading a recent book, I am so thankful we're not wearing corsets. They couldn't eat certain foods as they couldn't keep it down. What could cause such horrible tummy upsets? An apple! The whole area of women swooning? They were passing out from having their lungs constricted. In the book, the women had to have an 18 inch waist. One gal made it down to 16 but basically ended up dieing from it. According to the story it was the only way to keep their men at home rather than prowling around.

Oh mah gosh.

So dude is fooling around and you starve yourself to keep him home? Try a caste-iron frying pan and you smack him upside the head with it while he's sleeping. Once he regains consciousness, tell him there is more where that came from to help cure him of his prowling ways.

So where was I going with this? I think we need to have more awareness of holy crap don't do that to yourself. I'm a firm believer in friends don't let friends wax. I may be the only one out there that didn't know this but when getting fake nails done make sure you go to a salon NOT a storefront in the mall and/or stuffmart.

I was out and about with Kerri. One of the places we stopped at was to get her nails done. When she first mentioned it, I sat on my hands and said I'll pass as I had a bad experience. This shall be my acrylic awareness moment.

While there I was grilling asking the gal about a 5 bazillion questions. I wanted to know her thoughts on the Chinese torture I experienced. Literally was a torturous experience. The whole soak them in acetone didn't dissolve the "acrylic". Instead it gave off a horrible fish smell. It was like I gutted a fish with my fake nails.

I know, gross!!

And the stuff you get at stuffmart only removes nail polish and is very weak. Thought I would toss that out there. I guess Sally's is the place to get the good stuff. But I wasn't aware of Sally's and her goods of all things beauty. Instead I had stuffmart brand nail polish remover with fishy smelling hands.

Since it didn't work, I had to go back to the house of horrors to get the things removed. I wasn't prepared for what happened next. I thought the whole soak it was what was going to happen. Instead the guy pried them off!!! I almost passed out cold. It felt like he was using some sort of ancient torture technique that was passed down from his great-great granny. Guess her egg roll recipe wasn't worth passing along but she made high marks at the prying nails off competition. Bet her specialty was bamboo shoots in the nail bed.

I'm squirming just thinking about it.

While I'm sure some of you are tsking at my ignorance, I had no clue. Friend of mine told me, years later, that they don't use the right acrylic. It's a dental acrylic so when using acetone to try and remove the nail, it gives off the fish smell. I bet that's why they use those masks. They would probably use a haz-mat suite but figured it would alarm their customers. The fumes did help me forget how much money I paid for that torture as well as any and all useful information.

Minor detail.

But I was happy that nary a harmful chemical smell hit my delicate nostril senses while with Kerri. And the gal wasn't talking about me in another language so it was all good. I may go back and get my nails done. At least after the whole stupid relish episode is done. I don't think I should have very strong nails while working next to my mother. Just saying. Safety first.


rthling said...

Totally been to a torture chamber like that.
Fortunately, I've found another place that isn't so bad.
UNfortunately, it costs a minor fortune, which I don't have.

Jill V. said...

luckily I don't care what my nails look like:-) My Hair and makeup...that's where I spend my money!And I have reached VIB Status at Sephora (which can be translated as "I spent WAAAY TOO Much money this calendar year so they are giving me a discount so I can spend more"). YAY ME!

Fuschia said...

I assume you have seen this?

Joanna said...

I hadn't seen that one before. Go check out that youtube clip! Hoolarious! And so true.

Debbie said...

I've never gotten fake nails or waxed. I'm just that out of style!

Kristen @ said...

ahh I'm so sorry about your experience! I have never had fake nails put on and probably because of that reason. I just hear so many horrors from it that I think I'd pass. Plus if I want to I can grow my nails pretty long and even that annoys me.

Kerri said...

They are still on! I keep hitting caps lock every time I go to shift, but hey, what we women won't sacrifice for beauty. One is about popping off, so I'm glad my appt, is Wednesday!!

Kerri said...

OH, and my niece just sent me that you tube thing. That girl is HYSTERICAL!!!