Wednesday, August 4, 2010

It Has Been A Week

There is so much to cover. You may want to have a snack just to see you through this post.

I was working on this whole other post on something that happened last week. And to whoever that has been stalking my blog waiting to read my reply to the never ending drama that occurs on facebook - hang tight, I will get to it.

I seriously can not make this junk up.

Ok, ya'll comfy? Got yer snack? Potty break all taken care of? Good.

I can tell this is going to take more than 1 post. I'm still slightly surprised by the whole thing. Yesterday my folks were here. The relish is all done and I didn't even once try to pickle my Mom. However, I had a really interesting talk with her. There was no wailing and gnashing of teeth and everyone behaved.

We were talking about what all God was showing each of us and just how cool God is and has a way of turning things around. My folks are in 3 different bible studies, taking care of my grandparents, more at peace than I've ever seen them. Here's to hoping they are staying out of trouble.

We were talking about books we've read lately. All safe subjects. I was telling my Mom about the 1 book with the whole corset thing. Something that high society did was to cut someone. If someone didn't measure up or wasn't acceptable enough they were cut. It was to totally embarrass and humiliate the person. They wouldn't make eye contact, would openly shun the person who was being cut.

My Mom didn't miss a beat and said well that practice is alive and well and still going on with church leaders.

I pulled out my best innocent look and asked, "Why Mother, whatever could you mean?"

She gave me a look telling me I wasn't fooling anyone but went on to say that for whatever reason most church leaders have such huge insecurities and need their egos stroked all the time that they end up wounding a good deal of people and do it all in the name of God.

Well, I can't argue with that. I told her I just went through another round of cutting.

I was friends with a pastor on facebook and he was posting stuff about how we need to be accepting of each other and not to throw stones at one another, that we need to walk along side of others and love them where they are at as it will bring unity and maturity. There where a few comments before mine and the person right before me said if only the Church would do it. In agreement with that comment, I said too bad it rarely happens. Most people only keep you around so long as you fulfill their agenda.

The "pastor" not only deleted my comment but also unfriended me! Which ironically proves my point. While it frustrates me, I can't say that I'm all that surprised.

I was telling my Mom that back in the winter I went to a bible study at this man's church and he made it very clear I wasn't welcomed there as did a few other people. I was praying about the whole thing. So not fun to get cut. I really had God show me a few things that makes sense. I didn't share what God told me but what was funny is my Mom stomped all over it, said it way better than I could and had no way of knowing she was right on the money with it.

I said I've always heard about the shepherd leading the sheep but I've never seen it - always saw the leaders beating the darn flock over the head in order to get them to behave the way they thought best. I'm not part of this man's flock nor do I care to be. I have no desire to set the record straight especially when he really doesn't care what I have to say anyway.

My folks said that is a huge sigh of relief. I asked them to clarify. My Mom asked if this same pastor is the one backing "that woman who thinks she's to run a church". I'm quoting her. I said yes. Both my folks looked at each other and chuckled.

Mom kept saying it's a good thing we are out from under that. She said a couple other things which lined right up with what God was showing me and she had no way of knowing it.

And momma didn't let it go at that.

Mom: Jo, this is a God thing keeping you safe from the spirit they are operating through.
Me: That is pretty much what God was telling me.
Mom: You'll see. He's got something else for you to do and to be around people that actually care.
Me: You know, this pastor was the one that told me to send you a card that I'm praying for you.
Mom: Let me tell you, God would have - and does - work things out NOT because some over-inflated ego of a man made the suggestion.
Me: I wouldn't have sent the card had he not told me to do it.
Mom: Not true. He made the suggestion - you were the one that did it. God is the one that heals situations. God has been showing me that we are different and handle things differently. Doesn't mean your way is right or wrong, it's just your way.
Me: Gosh, that almost sounds like an apology.
Mom: Yeah well.
Long pause - still nothing
Mom: I know it hurts, but they really weren't your friends.
Me: Why do you say that?
Mom: And you will be better off without them dragging you down.
Me: According to some of them, they didn't want to be my friend because I was so down.
Mom: They're full of it! They were crappy friends and the minute you couldn't stroke their ego, they kicked you to the curb. Some friends! God isn't going to bless that and He really is about justice. You are so much better off to shake the dust from your feet and go find others that actually like you for you NOT what you can do for them.

And you people think I stand up for myself? I don't hold a candle to my Mom. I can tell you the woman doesn't take sh*t from anyone. Her favorite thing to do is to make eye contact, wave her hand to make sure she has your attention, and tell you you're full of crap and doesn't give a kitty if you own up to it or not as the smell will rat you out ever time.

I did say that I knew something was going to happen because we've been praying that God would break off old authorities. Before I could even finish she was all over that.

Mom: Please tell me you broke off anything to do with that woman doing her own church. I have a real problem when a woman wants to start her own church. I'll bet you 10 bucks her husband isn't even involved.
Me: Why is that a problem?
Mom: A woman's coverage is her husband and if he isn't in the picture then she's under someone else's coverage - that she's not married to. Doesn't that strike you at all odd? On top of that, what angle do you think she's going to "preach" from? Wives submit unless it doesn't further your agenda? Declare him not in right standing with God and go find someone else to back you? Let me guess that "pastor" is the one backing her?
Me: No comment.
Mom: Listen you don't want any part of that man. Any "pastor" that is going to encourage women to be out of line with the bible isn't someone you want to be a part of.
Me: Again, he was the one to encourage me to give you guys another chance.
Mom: Again, it is God that would see to it. Do you remember that word God gave you years ago? Restoration! God is going to restore this family - regardless of some piss-ant man that has a weird thing for women that can't submit.
Me: Geez Mom! Tell me how you really feel.
Mom: It gets me mad that people like that hurt you and then you start to question yourself all over again. Then you start to wonder if you are in right standing with God because you go through junk like this over and over. Just because you don't measure up to someone else's opinion does not make you off, doesn't mean you're wrong, doesn't mean that God is cutting you off. You be the best you can be.
Me: Hilarious. Even if you don't approve? Make constant comments about how wrong I am, how I don't do things right, and can't possible do anything right thus sayeth you? It has made me wonder if my own Mom is telling me I'm wrong than maybe every other person out there that tells me I'm wrong must know something I don't.
Mom: Well like I said God has been showing me we're just different from each other. You have to be and do what God tells you to do. God is always about the heart - what is the heart's motive behind the action. If I've hurt you...
Me: If?
Mom: it's because I've tried to push you in the right direction - my heart only wants the best for you.
Me: But when your mouth doesn't line up with your heart? You say I don't do this right but your heart is for me? Oddly enough I seem to find other people that carrying on the same twisted junk. Say what you mean, say what's in your heart because I can't tell what a heart's motive is - no one can.

Needless to say, the subject was changed. But it was interesting to say the least.

There was more to the day that I will have to put in another post. Like I said no one was harmed in the process. She even said a few things that would have normally cut me to the core - did me in. But it didn't even get a reaction from me. I'm still sitting here slightly shocked that I'm not livid.

I came right back at her, with no emotion, telling her she was full of it and I didn't give a kitty if she owned up to it or not cuz the smell already ratted her out.

She smirked at me and said very good.

Dang it.


Kerri said...

I'm glad your mother can use her sharp tongue for good and not just evil! Really, though, it sounds like some progress was made for you two, and that's always good.

And good for her for standing up for you and defending YOU for a change! My counselor (a very godly man) when I told him I have had church issues ever since I've been sick said, "Yup. I don't know when, but the church has gotten very good at shooting their wounded."

Of course this NOT every church. But the way this last one treated you and your family (especially you!) is just. plain. WRONG.

Love you!

rthling said...

I'm sorry. I can't even fathom people being allowed to behave that way in a church, much less the pastor.
And um, better watch your back. Mommy's sneaking in.
Sorry again. Every time I let my mom in, and think she might have miraculously turned normal, she does it again. I might be jaded.
A little.

Young Wife said...

That was an interesting conversation! Glad you're not upset. I wish you were in Texas so I could recommend a good church to you. It makes me so mad to hear how you were treated!