Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Epic Fail

My Mom called to announce that they can't come up until next week. Once the eye-twitching settled down to a normal pulse, I said fine. Ever living the dream of sheer irony, they don't have enough money for gas and have to wait to cash their check from The Man, so they can come up to visit - to tell us more tales of fighting the same said Man.

My brain hurts.

But this leaves me with my hair not getting cut. I was sort of sitting here fuming when I had the thought gently smack me upside the head of what if she comes up and says no she doesn't want to do it? After I snort, "Well that's typical. Anytime I actually need her for something it's a bother."

Needless to say, God and I had some words.

The good news is Auntie flo has stopped. "And there was much rejoicing in the land. Yay!"
The bad news is I can barely stand up for more than a minute. I had to stop taking everything, which is mainly vitamins. Something is triggering the go button but the stop button seems to be broke. My Mom is convinced it's some type of mineral deficiency and wants to try a few things out on me.

When did I turn into a weird science project? Why do I now suddenly make sense???? I spent most of my afternoon searching for bolt scars.

Can.not.stand.my.hair. I got new hair stuff in the mail today BUT it is painfully clear that the crap I grow off my scalp needs to be whacked off. New hair is short but super sassy cute and I big, puffy heart LOVE the color. I just need to get my hair chopped off first. But if I chop off my hair I will be committed to new hair and can't ware anything else. I thought getting fake hair would solve all my hair woes. Who knew it would only add to it? So besides having no energy, I suddenly seem to have developed some unknown fear of random hair salons. Will my weirdness know no bounds??

Don't answer that.

Stupid me was hoping my Mom would solve the problem. That was probably a mistake. Once upon a time I begged her not to cut my hair off and sure enough that's what she did. Clearly my Mom and I have some vicious cycles that are set in stone. Right now, I'm thanking God I don't have any daughters so hopefully the crazy stops with me.

But this leaves me without a hair cut. Dang it.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Blogger Just Ate My Post

Believe me when I say my cuss jar is overflowing right now. Had a post, was all done and went to hit publish kerpow! Gone. I tried to see if it saved any of the stuff I had - nope only the first 2 paragraphs.

Son of a nut cracker.

I now have to rely on memory to retype my post? Yeah, you're now going to get the short version - we did stuff, the end.

Mad conspiracy going on, I tell ya.

We did get Nicholas' facebook back up and running. So he's quite happy about that. Actually I'm just as happy about it as he is because I make him send me stuff to complete whatever stupid mission I'm on for Frontierville. And if you rolled your eyes at me, I totally understand. I disgust myself.

I did mention that the weekend went waaay too fast. As in I sneezed and it was Monday. Where is the fairness of that, I ask you?

Auntie flo is still kicking my butt. It's been over a month. I now have the strength of a gnat which is safe to say zilch. There have been comments made about getting the uterus yanked out and why haven't I done it already. That is tricky because I know people that say both good and bad about it and my Mom and a few aunts all had problems. So I'm not in any hurry with getting on the yanking band wagon.

I did say the bright side is I won't be subjected to a vampire attack and at this stage I wouldn't even be a Scooby snack.

My humor is lost on people.

But everything has fallen on the guys to get done. I'll give Hubs some major kudos as he has stepped up to the plate big time. He's been cooking a lot of dinners as some days I can't stand for very long.

Saturday Hubby took the older 2 out to Guitar Center which is like taking a little kid to Chuck E. Cheese minus the food and all the freaky children trying to steal your tickets. I was able to drive J to a rental place and we rented Mario Bros game and then played with him for hours. Once the guys got back and we got them fed, Hubs took me out on a date. He said he was tired of cooking. Wha? Got the casserole blues? Bwhahaha! How does it feel??

I'm sure once I stop mocking him, he'll have a whole new appreciation for all that I do around here.

Actually he does. He feels bad. We've seen the doctors over the years and they don't know what to do other than yank out the organ. Some days that is very tempting. The not being able to pay for it is sort of a factor.

But we had a nice time just talking about stuff. We were sort of hoping that we would get some answers to a few questions. To say we are desperate for some answers in a lot of areas is an understandment. It's been frustrating to not get answers on anything. I am not a fan of hurry up and wait.

I did give him a really good laugh. Due to weakness, I can't hold up scissors which is probably the only reason why I didn't cut my hair. I would see my regular guy but he's 50 minutes away, I don't feel up to driving, and neither does my van. Plus I don't want to spend the money especially since I, um, already spent some money on ah, something new which hasn't arrived yet but will have to be another blog post.

I was trying to will myself to have the energy to get up and go get it done at a local place. But not having any energy and still wondering how much money should I spend left me feeling eh. Right at that moment, my Mom called. They want to come up later this week to go through more boxes of their stuff. Oh yippee. I was telling her my hair woes when she said she would cut my hair. Before you gasp in horror, she cut my hair for years. Years. It was only after a nasty fight and she almost scalped me is when I sought someone else out to cut my locks.

I asked Hubs if I should be near my Mom with scissors in her hand. I'm in no condition to fight her off, she would so kick my butt. Gives a whole new meaning to "I'll cut ya." Once Hubster stopped laughing, and believe me this took a while, he suggested I have her do it first thing before a fight breaks out.

Well, if I disappear, you'll know who to blame.

I guess this means I better try and clean the place a little bit. Oh mercy! I better hide that book about finding peace with your mom as that would stir up a hornets nest. This is going to sting enough as it is.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Hooray It's Friday

I remember one time making a comment about being happy it was Friday when I was given the evil glare of you don't work so why should you care. Excuse me? You think I don't work?? How about I don't get paid for my work, there is no lunch break, there is no paid vacations. There is only the hope that what others have deemed a waste will one day bloom into something wonderful.

But I digress.

I am so happy because no school on the weekend and right now that last nerve is pulsing. The older boys have this annoying habit of clicking their pens - over and over and over. When they aren't doing school work then they are drumming on just about everything. And in the on-going sense of irony, I can't stand to listen to repeated things over and over. Now if Hubs were to read that he would fall down laughing because I tend to repeat myself - over and over and over. However, the drumming on everything they got from him, so wise man that he is doesn't say a word.

I was going to escape yesterday as my hair really needs cut. It is causing so much angst that there will be a blog post about it. But I ended up taking 4 different naps on the most uncomfortable couch as I had no energy to stand let alone stay awake. This does not make a good escape. Sprawled out on the couch muttering I think I can, I think I can just doesn't cut it.

Today looks like I can stay in an upright condition however when I stand up, what little blood supply I have left leaves the brain and it starts to sing random songs. Then I forget what I was doing and the next thing I know I'm sprawled on the couch again.

"Missed it by that much."

I've been eyeing a pair of scissors. I'm worried I'll do something drastic like cut my own hair. More like I'll put my sad limp hair into a ponytail and cut that off. I told Hubs I needed intervention and he asked me to be more specific cuz that is a long list. Har-dee-har-har. And yet he was shocked when I announced I wasn't cooking dinner tonight. I said add it to the list.

Dang, there was something else I was going to add but it is now goooone. Well on that note, hope you have a great weekend.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Good Gravy

I would like to tell you my brain is fully functioning, however that would be a lie. Tuesday night, we had a storm blow through and it knocked our power out for a few hours. Left me fixing random things all day Wednesday. We still have not gotten the facebook issue settled for N - we think his account AND email has been hacked. That statement alone is when the brain said see ya.

But wait there's more.

As I was attempting my escape, my Hubs caught me and reminded me we had to do the loading of the carts as the pantry was looking mighty sad. I shoved my head into said sad pantry and gave a look. 3 boxes of discarded poptart flavors that didn't meet the mark, a box of spaghetti noodles, a few soup cans plus or minus 30 other cans and boxes that should be tossed due to expiration dates, and a half used box of microwave popcorn. I pulled my head out, looked the guy square in the eye, and said deal with it and then proceeded to burst into tears.

Hubby looked in vain for some stray chocolate to appease me but found out after making the offer that that was the wrong thing to say. Who am I kidding? There wasn't a blooming thing the man could have said that would have fixed anything. And I was in no mood to listen to his empty promises that the sun will come out tomorrow, so I just gotta hang on until tomorrow because today said you'll never freaking make it, so die Jedi scum!

Oh the drama - I can play it.

Auntie flo is slowly making a retreat. However, there have been several things I have put off and blah, blah, blah I over did it and was sprawled out on the couch feeling each organ giving up the will to live due to lack of blood. My head was pounding and I was sort of freaked out I could hear my own pulse pumping through my veins when Hubs said time to go grocery shopping.

Oh could we, dear?

After I shoveled the dishes out of the sink, ran the dishwasher - twice, did a few loads of laundry, got 1 project done with J, helped M with his math, and tried to figure out what is going on with N's facebook account - my brain is fried. My body was spent. Aaand I didn't have the grocery list done and could not come up with anything else to cook for these ungrateful men people that don't have to live with cramps that can take you to the floor.

Pant, pant, wheez

All I can say is thank God Hubby did ask, 'how was your day' or I may have smacked him. I try to let the eye twitch do all my cussing. Doesn't work too well, just ask my children. But bless their hearts, they still pray every day I'll get saved or my mouth will.

I would like to tell you I had some amusing story while at stuffmart but I was so out of it I don't remember much. I did hear at one point I was screaming, "Save yourselves!" while throwing bags of Reese cups into my cart. I have no idea. I was trying to find a happy place but it kept booting me off said it was closed for construction or something. Either that or there is no way to reach the entrance to one's happy place while stuck in the middle of stuffmart.

I just re-read that last sentence and busted out laughing as you can take that in a few directions.

Wonder where those bags of Reese cups are at...

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Oh Monday How We Hate Thee

May you never be in my presence again! It was not a fun day to say the least. One thing after another was the theme for Monday.

My heart is hurting for Nicholas. Facebook upped and disabled his account. Said he wasn't listed on a High School listing and therefore disabled his account. Turns out his brothers haven't been disabled, just his - the techie of the group. The one that uses it all.the.time.

Emails have been sent. Blown off responses were returned. Turns out after scanning through a lot of fine print, the powers that be use facebook to keep track of the kids and monitor the kids that attend their school. Makes sense BUT I'm thinking facebook is prejudiced against homeschoolers. We never knew we had to list a school. It never gave noticed and when you click on the link for homeschoolers and error pops up still leaving you locked out of the account. We got on Michael's account to see if we could list some type of school before his was disabled but we weren't able to find anything. Like I said the link they provide doesn't do jack squat.

My Dude is crushed.

He did nothing wrong.

They better hope I never find them.

They keep telling him to read the rules and regulation. He did and he hasn't done anything wrong. He looked at me with his eye twitching and announced he was a level 250 or something on Mafia Wars and asked if he would have to start all over again.

Okay, I truly felt his pain because as much facebook games as I play? I would drop to the floor and sob out a long why??? Truly a testimony that I have no life. And it seems my spawn has this same problem.

So far from what I've gathered this has happened to a lot of homeschoolers and there is no way to get the account back. You have to set up a new one, with a new email address, and try to fill out all their info. I'm steamed because they gave no such noticed and for them to declare it is part of their rules but giving no chance to fix it is just bull hockey. We didn't have this problem last year. So to just yank it with no notice really cheeses me off.

I tried all my powers that be, what little they are, and was informed that it's his account and I can't do jack about it. I emailed back that he didn't do anything to violate their rules and I've yet to get a response.

So that and several other must deal with this right now stuff came up today. And Monday nights is trash night so the guys had to gather the trash which is about equal to pulling teeth from a very cheesed off alligator - with a license to chomp.

I felt so bad for N but I did hear him self talking himself to hang in there as it's only 6 weeks and 5 days and the DSi will make it all worth while. Although M did say especially when you have to redo everything you had set up on your old facebook account.

If looks could kill. Grace for your twin must be something very deep and spiritual. Had anyone else said that they would have been 'dead before dessert.'

So I am happy it is past midnight. I hope we don't have a Monday like that again. EVER! And I hope by some miracle we can get his account back. I did mention that was the boy's life, right?

Monday, September 20, 2010

I Guess I Should Blog About Something

I was just thinking about that when I looked at the clock. Dang it. Past midnight again.

I've noticed I have this problem where I can't think of a thing to blog about because part of my brain screams who flippin cares??? I have that very thought every time I go on Twitter. I don't even care what I'm doing, so why would anyone else? One of the boys said I should put Ah, feel better now - flush!

This is what I live with.

Then there are other times I think omgosh I have GOT to blog about that but then it never happens. Or I forget. Or don't want to have backlash or nosey people getting all up in my bizness. Or have attempted to beat my brain into submission with a bag of cookies.

The List - it is endless.

There is that trusty mallet but Hubby was giving me weird looks lately so I think he may have hidden it. Just because I'm not embracing the 45 brazillionth Nerf war does not mean I'm a party pooper. However, I'm a bit offended that he foiled all my attempts at escape.

I have my reasons. They go in random order.

We need to go grocery shopping. That alone is enough for me to want to hide in a corner. I'm going to attempt at putting Hubby down for the majority of dinners and see how long it takes him to figure out I am totally trying to Shanghai him. But with his Jedi mind tricks, he probably already knows about it.

Number the next one. I'm not looking forward to Monday and I just remembered I'm supposed to pull out and dust off ye olde microscope for a couple science project J has to do. If I whimper and beg for mercy will it magically fast forward to next weekend?

Reason beyond that, N is driving us all nuts with the countdown to his b-day - that is in November!! I think he said it's 6 weeks and 6 days or something like that. He has talked about getting a DSi 237 brazillion times. Yes, I am still beating that dead horse into the ground. There are sales going on with those bad boys so knowing my luck and lack of it, I convinced Hubby to get the stuff now rather than wait out of concern the sale would be no more. While part of me is saying woo hoo you saved $30 x 2, the reality is I can't even use the bathroom without someone in this house knowing about it. I have no secrets in the house of spies sooo word has gotten out. The boy is causing that one nerve - the tough scary broad of a nerve to start to pulse. Annnd he can't stop himself either.

Wonder how well he can chew through rope?

At least M has learned a long time ago to drop it. Nary a peep out of him about it. He said N is annoying me enough for 2 people. Such a wise child, he is.

On top of that auntie flo has been hanging around waay too long. Try week number 4. Which really bums me out because I gave a whole post on how I was able to pray that bee-yatch back into a corner and why that didn't work this round was a blow for me on several levels. It has left me rather weak too. I had to use pillows to prop my arms up a few days ago.

But what made it, oh so special, was my Mom called over the weekend. She said I was on her mind and wanted to know what was going on. The double sided sword with this is if anyone knows what I'm going through, it is my Mom. She's gone through all kinds of woman issues, had at least 7 miscarriages, ended up having a hysterectomy in her early 40s. I didn't have to hear the Captain Obvious questions of are you taking your iron pills or gosh why haven't you gotten this fixed yet? She ran me through a truck load of the tests when I was a teenager. Having been through it herself, she knows the drill.

But...

You just knew there was going to be one.

Mom was on my case that I wasn't praying enough. Now, that does get old real quick. Just what every person needs - to get kicked when they are already feeling down. The crappy part is for whatever reason, I didn't enter this battle prayed up. I was sort of hoping that my bod was going to snap to it and actually work. I think by week 3 it hit me, hey what's the deal? Lack of blood flow to the brain? Who knows? But my attitude was not great and you could just forget about praying it away. So I had to sit there and take the kersmack I had coming. From my Mom. Dang it.

The hard thing is Mom then went off that I need to forgive them or God isn't going to do squat. She said a few other things that did set what little blood I have left to a full boil.

What's more judgemental than a speeding bullet? Able to wound just by taking in air? It's Mom-a-nader! The ultimate mess with your head fighting machine.

I then spent the rest of the weekend trying not to stew over it but tried to hand that over to God to deal with. I did say tried. I think stewing may have won. I'll be honest, there are moments when I feel finding peace with my Mom is just not going to happen. I look at the condition of my heart, the wounds that have been done to it, and think if my getting better is hanging on this than I'm pretty much screwed.

I know, I'm such a freakin peach to be around. It truly is a wonder why I'm able to drive the masses away with my up-beat positive outlook on life.

Cricket, cricket

Moving right along...

The funny part of the conversation I had with mumsy was she was actually trying to be a concern parent. I may, or may not, have asked how much wine was involved to get this warm glowy feeling and she told me I'm a pain and handed me off to my Dad as surely he would be able to talk some sense into me.

Har-de-har-har! That's a good one.

Trouble is Dad was either in pain, or was royally ticked off at me. He was very clipped in the conversation so when I asked if he was feeling ok I was reminded that last weekend was my Mom's b-day. I'm thinking royally ticked off wins this round.

I said I know as I sent a card. Huge, people, huge. I didn't even address it to Cruella so I'm hoping God is willing to grade on a curve for that one. I think Dad was mad I didn't call. He asked if I got the email Mom sent saying she liked the card and I said yes. He said there is a button on the top called reply.

Talk about leaving yourself wiiiide open.

I said well that is rather confusing because to which am I to reply to? Am I to reply to the person, the content of the email, or just give a blurp of glad you got the card? I then got a 5 minute lecture on how I need to honor my father and mother so the days of my life can be long. Because goodness knows, I'm looking so forward to 4o more years of this mental minefield of emotional sewage.

Mom piped up that it didn't matter, I sent a card and she was happy with that. I'm not really sure what was said after that cuz I may have dropped the phone from shock.

And this is only half of the list of my reasons for wanting to escape.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Something, Something Blog Title

You know for the last few weeks I have vowed I will head to bed no later than midnight and here it is almost 1:30 am. Darn those night owl tendencies!!

I spent most of the day helping one kid or another with various school projects which was enough to tax my brain powers but then I managed to kick out a few loads of laundry. Feeling giddy with several things done under my belt, I decided to mess around with the blog design. And that sound you hear was the brain crashing. I think it might have said, I pushed my luck too far or something along those lines.

Can't say as I'm totally happy with the blog look but the original one I picked didn't turn out as good as I was hoping. Hate it when that happens. So for now, eh it's up.

There was something else I was going to blog about but it totally and completely slipped my mind. You can thank me later. We all know it was going to be long winded and probably pointless.

But it could have been so pretty. I, myself, like that splashed coffee stain look you have going on all over your computer screen. Really people, you should stop emailing me telling me something I wrote made you spray your drink all over the screen. You're feeding a sickness with this information! Stop it!! You know how that makes my day. I find it so satisfying that I scare myself.

And with that the brain said to pack it up and go to bed. So demanding that one.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Whee

I'm, yet again, hiding in the corner of a room trying to dodge Nerf darts as they are zipping by. Another round of fight to the death is going on around here. I'm shaking my head that guys are really weird.

Hubby hasn't had much work lately. I don't know if this is his way of letting off steam, bonding with the boys, or signs of mid-life crisis. I think it may be all of the above.

Nothing snarky to report. There is a parade going on today. It should have taken place Saturday but the powers that be put it to this evening. And it's going to go right pass our house.

Needless to say, we aren't going anywhere tonight. Not that we had anything planned. I have a bunch of school stuff to grade. What a wild life I live.

I did get to laughing. N and M really like science and history and have an everlasting hate for math and I've tried to block out how many fights we've had over anything that requires them to write. Now enters J who big, puffy hearts math and hates science and history with a deep scorn. Judging from his chicken scratchings that is supposed to be handwriting, I can see some bumps coming with him this year.

For the record, when my kids are done with school I am throwing the biggest party - for me.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Happy Monday

Ok, I purposefully stayed off the blog because there is no way I can come up with anything worth a crap for 9/11. To say I snotted myself is an understatement. After a while I had to hop off the TV.

That left me to watch movies. We had rented a few movies for the weekend and 1 was RepoMan. I think I may have thrown up my liver. It was gruesome. It was gross. I don't recommend it.

But it started off playing Sway With Me and I have not been able to get the song out of my head. The whole weekend. Every day. All.day.long. I have grabbed each child and sort of did a little pathetic dance while singing the song. More like they stood there giving me a look that goes along the lines of 'hey look, mom is off her meds'.

I now wish I had meds so I could have a legitimate reason for acting weird. Instead, all I have is me, myself, and I. They are all arguing who is the weirdest one of that trio.


Anywho, there is a cure for having a song stuck in your head but I think I would rather cut open my veins. You have to get another song stuck in your head. We've found that usually a kid's song like, (shudder) It's A Small World will cure you of any song stuck in your head. The down side is you go out of your mind and may attempt to commit a crime so you can think about something else.

Or not. Just saying.

The guys went camping Friday night while Kerri and I went and did our McTalking. That will have to be another post. The guys did cut their trip short as it started to rain. So they decided to finish the weekend off with another round of Nerf war. Why is it that being a cool mom is almost equal to female hell? My eyes are constantly glazing over from everything they want to talk to me about.


But we have gone from talking about bionicles to now trying to list which bones they are popping. Yesterday, M was all 'Dude, I think I popped my mandible.' Me: 'You broke your guitar?' M: 'no, I popped my jaw bone. Guess what I'm going to pop next?'

The snots. Me? Play name that bone? The one who hides behind a pillow and asks if it's safe to look at the TV - hilarious group of people I live with.

But beyond that my brain is feeling rather fuzzy. I've had a headache for most of the day and I can't think of anything else to blog about. But since it's a Monday, and I spent most of the weekend in a weepy state, I think we all need something to laugh about. Got this email joke - and I am still chuckling over it. It's a bit crude but well worth it. (Put the drink down)

ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!


When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone. Don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.


A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right effing number!' And the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an *sshole!' And hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word '*sshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an *sshole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '*sshole' calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?'
He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, 'That's because you're an *sshole!' And hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first *sshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW *sshole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
He said, 'Yes, it is.'
I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch style house and the car's parked right out in front.'
I asked, 'What's your name?'
He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'
I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'
He said, 'I'm home every evening after five.'
I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'
He said, 'Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you're an *sshole!'


Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two *ssholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called *sshole #1.
He said, 'Hello.'
I said, 'You're an *sshole!' (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, 'Are you still there?'
I said, 'Yeah!'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me,'
I said, 'Make me.'
He asked, 'Who are you?'
I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, '*sshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. A yellow ranch style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.'
He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, *sshole,' And hung up.

Then I called *sshole #2.

He said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hello, *sshole,'
He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
I said, 'You'll what?'
He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your *ss,'
I answered, 'Well, *sshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two *ssholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. This anger management stuff works great!

Now don't you feel better about your Monday??

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Oh Happy Day

When we last left our heroine she was trying to find a cliff to toss herself off of. She even vowed to find a cliff and do the deed but she was tackled by the spawn that asked if she could load up the pantry before she off herself.

Truly I am loved.

I should have know this was going to go down like this. I had a couple different blog angles to go with and sure enough the brain has decided to steal the show as it has, yet again, run out of the room screaming. It's sitting over in the corner sort of twitching. So sad. I tossed some chocolate at it but it threw it back, said it knew it was an attempt at bribery. Dang, it figured that out way too early in the game. This is not looking good.

If you are asking why then you must be new here. Actually, the brain escaping and going for it's 3rd emmy isn't from dramatics, it's more from being tired and really, really not wanting to go grocery shopping. I'm a bit cheesed off that it seems like the time for the loading of the carts was upon us yet again. For reals? Again????

"Not happy, Bob. Not happy."

But it did mean that I didn't have to cook dinner, so any day I don't have to cook is a happy day for me. Which is odd because I'm not a bad cook. I know people that you would gladly pay them not to cook. That doesn't apply to me. And I have quite the stash of recipes so I'm not making the same thing week after week. But the willingness to do so is sorely lacking. Hubby did find me in the kitchen one night begging God to set me free from bondage of cooking the casseroles.

I'm still laughing at the look on his face. He loves casseroles. Must have been one stellar performance because I woke up this morning to a totally clean kitchen and there is talk of the guys going camping again soon. I knew that crazy eye-twitch would pay off eventually.

In other news, school has been going great. The guys are all tackling their school stuff and gasp! have even enjoyed learning something new. The older 2 are actually getting Algebra. The funny thing is I sat down and flipped through a few pages and I understood it all. 20 years later and I finally get it. This may put me in the dull pencil category.

The shame and horror of it all.

And I'm not sure if that applies to that I finally understand it or that it took me this long.

Jared gets gold stars across the board! We were having some computer issues and it was enough that I wanted to kick the computer out the side door. He hung in there and did a full days worth without losing his marbles at the frustration of it all. Hubby fixed it and dude smoked his school stuff in no time flat.

Both Nicholas and Michael have just seemed to have turned a corner and things have been going well for both of them. It's been nice to see. After the last few years of ups and downs - beyond relief to see the changes with them. They are so tickled that music is part of their school stuff that it's cracking me up. They both spent 2 hours on music stuff yesterday and didn't even know it. Michael was frustrated that his fingers were sore from playing the guitar until I told him how long he was at it and he was a bit shocked. Nicholas had the same with piano - he flew threw 4 lessons and would have kept going if I didn't tell him to stop.

And Nicholas is reading - a hard book - on his own.

Cue another round from the hallelujah chorus.

I don't know what corner we turned but it has been nice. Very nice. Amazingly nice.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Now Where Did I Put That Cliff?

Oh InterPeeps, it was not a pleasant weekend. We had cooler weather which is about the only good I can focus on right now. And this is after the chocolate was consumed. Lots of clouds and rain. The garage sale didn't go as well as we hoped as we were stuck with all the big stuff. I will say that I won't do a garage sale ever again. Too much work. Although there is talk of us doing a moving sale - whenever that will be.

I may just hit myself in the head repeatedly instead.

Hubby wasn't really all that into it to begin with. It required his muscles to heft things like a washing machine that doesn't agitate, or an oven that its only flaw was to be owned by my parents and therefore sat in our garage for the last few years - none of these big bulky things sold. Which means Hubby moved it out of his way for a week and then moved it back in his way all for nothing.

Good times.

The teenage angst I got off and on all weekend was tempting me to toss them off the cliff. How I ever survived without them constantly telling me how I don't do things right is beyond me. Oh my gosh, they took over where my mother left off!!

Now that's just low.

We did make it up to them. Auntie flo was just having a field day with me so I announced I quit. Hubs decided we should take the guys to AppleBee's from some of the moolah we got. They have a 2 for $20 deal going on. Older 2 boys did that and so did Hubs and I, leaving Jared to eat his favorite which is anything with bacon. And if it can be on a cheeseburger then truly the world can't get any better for him. This has appeased the male offspring. I think at this stage of their life, food is their love language. Michael always thanks me, terrified that if he doesn't let it be known he is grateful than the horrible she-beast will quit and he will starve.

I'm not that lucky.

What can I say? Dear crazy auntie hasn't been very kind this round.

Speaking of evil females, I gave that book about finding emotional healing with your mother a quick glance. This is not going to be pretty. I didn't make it beyond the intro without tossing the book across the room. Whoopsies. Nothing like stepping onto some hot coals of ugly emotions. I think the thing that set me off was when it talked about when you have a kid and you think oh crap, I want my mommy. Yeah, I didn't have that. Matter of fact, my Mom's motto was don't call me, I'll call you because I'm too busy with your brother's kids and cleaning up his never ending mess.

Trouble with that is those pesky nasty hidden emotions that I used to keep at bay with a bag of cookies has now managed to escape. Since I'm being a good wife and taking my Herbalife, and no effing cookies, there is nothing to keep those emotions pinned down.

Houston, we have a problem.

Kerri and I started up our bible study on Ruth. The funny thing is I am so identifying with Naomi, who wanted to change her name to bitter. Oh yeah, babe, I am so feeling ya. One of my fav authors Liz Curtis Higgs wrote a book with a Ruth theme and found myself nodding my head as they had everything stripped away from them little by little forcing them to leave. I'm trying not to be all bitter that I have to wait for the second book to come out in March to find out the rest of the story.

So I've had a few weeks of just emotions going up and down, and side to side. I feel spent and slightly nauseous.

Then Fuschia puts on her blog about feeding the soul. She said that she's fed her spirit but the soul - the mind, will, and emotions - hasn't been taken care of to the same degree. There has been a loud click with that and I'm so curious to see where she goes with it.

Mine have been running on fumes for a long time.

We were doing our family bible study and some stuff came up and talking about all the unknown changes on the horizon and what we thought about it. The boys all have positive outlooks and I caught myself thinking just wait until life hammers the crap out of you and let's see how you feel then. I can't quite remember what Hubs was saying but he started laughing and said, 'little did he know' and there seems to be something to it.

Life hadn't gone as planned and while there was much to feel down about, little did she know that things where going to change and it was going to be for the better...

Sounds like the making of a great story.

Friday, September 3, 2010

This'll Be Quick

I may, or may not, have thought about tossing myself off a cliff but the whole lacking cliff part sort of puts those plans on hold.

Day 1 of garage sale was a bit wet. I was telling Hubby that Friday should be better weather. Sort of skert that the weather heard that comment and is giving me an answer of what to expect for tomorrow. To say the heavens broke forth with water is an understatement. Right now we have a storm that is pretending to be a hurricane. What a poser!

But with the lights flashing and my butt dragging, I will end this and go to bed. Thought I would just say hey before my 4 readers give up on me.