Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Epic Fail

My Mom called to announce that they can't come up until next week. Once the eye-twitching settled down to a normal pulse, I said fine. Ever living the dream of sheer irony, they don't have enough money for gas and have to wait to cash their check from The Man, so they can come up to visit - to tell us more tales of fighting the same said Man.

My brain hurts.

But this leaves me with my hair not getting cut. I was sort of sitting here fuming when I had the thought gently smack me upside the head of what if she comes up and says no she doesn't want to do it? After I snort, "Well that's typical. Anytime I actually need her for something it's a bother."

Needless to say, God and I had some words.

The good news is Auntie flo has stopped. "And there was much rejoicing in the land. Yay!"
The bad news is I can barely stand up for more than a minute. I had to stop taking everything, which is mainly vitamins. Something is triggering the go button but the stop button seems to be broke. My Mom is convinced it's some type of mineral deficiency and wants to try a few things out on me.

When did I turn into a weird science project? Why do I now suddenly make sense???? I spent most of my afternoon searching for bolt scars. I got new hair stuff in the mail today BUT it is painfully clear that the crap I grow off my scalp needs to be whacked off. New hair is short but super sassy cute and I big, puffy heart LOVE the color. I just need to get my hair chopped off first. But if I chop off my hair I will be committed to new hair and can't ware anything else. I thought getting fake hair would solve all my hair woes. Who knew it would only add to it? So besides having no energy, I suddenly seem to have developed some unknown fear of random hair salons. Will my weirdness know no bounds??

Don't answer that.

Stupid me was hoping my Mom would solve the problem. That was probably a mistake. Once upon a time I begged her not to cut my hair off and sure enough that's what she did. Clearly my Mom and I have some vicious cycles that are set in stone. Right now, I'm thanking God I don't have any daughters so hopefully the crazy stops with me.

But this leaves me without a hair cut. Dang it.


Kristen said...

aww it will get better! Always does!

Julie said...

I need to get my SIL over here, because I need a hair cut too!

Kerri said...

I would try to cut your hair, but I still feel like p**p, and my arms are too weak to hold up. But I love you though!

jubilee said...

This morning I had to fight my hair a lot. It was tragic. I think a hairbrush may have expired in the fight. It was also the first time in ages that I got a compliment on my hair. Oh, the irony.

Think I just came up with my next blog post. Thanks! :)