Friday, October 29, 2010

And Here We Go...

Busy weekend going into a busy week. I'm pretty sure I'll need another week just to recover!

Not much to report - just odds and ends going on. Michael got me totally hooked on Jeremy Camp's new worship album, which the name escapes me right this moment. But it's really good! I got to chuckling at M. He's already figuring out a lot of the songs on his guitar. He almost has King Jesus spot on! I'm quite impressed with him.

Nicholas finished reading Robinson Crusoe and got his book report done. This was the child I about had to tie to a chair to read a book. He cracks me up on all his techie abilities. Sat at one computer and figured a few things out while doing his report. Dude is quickly passing me on the techie stuff.

Sadly, Jared has picked up the I think school is a total waste of time attitude and I have had to keep at him last few weeks. The older 2 are perfectionist verses dude could care less. Can't win for nothing.

I'm trying to keep them busy but it is sort of failing. They are about bouncing off the walls as we are on the home stretch.

Hold me. I don't know if I can keep the fake smile of happiness on much longer. After 3 months of the countdown the happy is goooone. Now all I can think about is getting it over with so they will knock it off. But I have a feeling the countdown will switch to Christmas. Whee.

In an attempt to ignore them, I've had my nose stuck in different books for the last few weeks. Epic Nerfdom going on. Hubs came home with his own Nerf gun and they have been plotting and planning. It's enough to make a woman gag and then render herself unconscious.

Francine Rivers has a couple new books out - good stuff but the second one I needed a box of Kleenexes. I think it's a Mother's Hope and a Daughter's Dream. Found them both at Sam's Club - grabbed the first one a few months ago so I was happy to see the second one out early. Muwahaha.

While at Sammy's - Vince Flynn had a new one out. I lurv me his character Mitch Rapp! I have really enjoyed the whole series. Page turner! It's a lot cleaner than Tom Clancy's novels - which he has a new book coming out in Dec. It has Jack Ryan Jr and Clark. I had to own up to Hubs I don't think I've read the last couple of Clancy's novels. I haven't read anything with Jack Jr. This got me the look of horror of how could I. The nerve of me.

There is only so much I can take. I have to pace myself. All spy, all guy stuff, all the time is NOT my cup of tea. Will someone please explain that to these people I live with - especially Hubster?

Not to mention these are hurking huge books. I'm not a super fast reader and these guys complain if I refuse to cook because I can't put a book down. Even though it has happened a time or 100. Although, I did just pick up Flynn's book yesterday and I'm more than half way through it so go me. I have a feeling I'm going to stay up late tonight to finish it. It will work out perfect as the guys are going to another gun and knife show. I asked Hubs not to arm the spawn again but the sheepish look I got wasn't encouraging, especially when he said it's a guy thing.

Good granny!! How did I get stuck in this world??? I asked Hubs if I could sue him for fraud. He laughed at me. I'm thinking I wouldn't get much out of him anyways. My Mom was even teasing me, said I've been around the guys too much. Geez, ya think? My van is dead so I can't even escape.

My goal this weekend is to get rid of the stale frito smell that seems to be eking from the guys' room. I will be armed with a can of Fabreeze and a big stick to beat the stench down. Wish me luck! And if you don't hear from me for a few days - then the stench won.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Holy Wind Gust, Batman!

We have had some crazy storms. This is going to be short and sweet. Tuesday night our power went out around 8-ish and didn't come back on until around 3 am. Wednesday we spent the day having to reset everything. The power kept flicking off and on. Every time it does that we lose our Internet connection and takes a while to get it back. I stopped counting after 3.

Not to mention I was on the phone every time the power popped off. And it took a while to get a phone line back.

We had to reset all the clocks too. Repeatedly.

Not a fan of this redonkulous blustery day. I think I saw Mary Poppins fly by - upside down - with her bloomers over her head. The winds are a blowing and the lights are flickering sooo I'm hoping off.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

With Nothing Else - Laugh

I got nothing new so I'm posting some email jokes.

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. "I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph. The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of it," He says, "because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75. He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently.

Up to 80. "I want the car, too," he continues.

85 mph. "And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!"

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've got everything I need," she says.


"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph, the wife turns to him and smiles. "The airbag."


One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'OHIO STATE ! '
And they say blondes are dumb....

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you.'


'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.


Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN


Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be
men.


Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.


Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'


The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.'


Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'


Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. '
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment. 'Where's my toast ?'


A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'


A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wanted him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and Proclaims, 'If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'

The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, 'If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, 'If the Preacher stays, ..... I will give him s*x!'

There is total silence.

The Preacher, blushing, asks her, 'Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?'

Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies, 'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help,and he said,......'Screw him!'


I bet this will be my Mom...

A mature (over 60) lady gets pulled over for speeding....
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.


Hope this gives you a chuckle!

Monday, October 25, 2010

It's Snot Funny

If it wasn't for the fact that I am told 20 times a day how many days it is until b-day, I would think it's the beginning of October. But no, it's not. Which means I should probably sit down and pay bills.

Oh happy day.

Our weekend went weird. We all had massive plugged noses that decided to instantly turn runny. I think we all carried around a box of Kleenex all weekend long for the fallout. Thank goodness trash goes out tonight because it is overflowing with tissue. But we all look so cute with matching chapped noses. Darn Hubby and his cheap tissue ways! I finally got him to get generic lotion tissues but those are the first to go.

Jared said, "I guess it's time to break out the tampons." I feel for his future wife. All I can hope is that the rapture happens and it just wasn't in the plan for him. In all honestly, I only did it once. Desperate times calls for desperate measures and whatnot that I found myself without Kleenexes and had to resort in using a light tampon shoved up my nose. It was either that or a flipping towel. Yes, it really was that bad. Since I HATE it with a passion to hear the guys sniff and snort rather than just blow their noses, I resorted to have the drips stopped up. And how convenient, it came with a pull string.

I think this was one of my qualifying reasons for the Worst Parent Awards. Something along the lines of mental scarring. Whatever. After I stopped laughing, I had to inform J that his nose is too little for the big guns. You would think I would have learned what words to avoid because the word gun triggered his response of hey can we have yet another Nerf war?

Oh could you??

It is rather cute to see Hubby dear having a second childhood. Although if the stories are true, this may be his first. More Nerf wars - me huddled in corner. And ya'll wonder why I play so many facebook games.

I'm trying really hard to get the guys to crank out some extra work so we can have a few days off. My folks are coming up next week and so are the in-laws. Thankfully cooler heads prevailed, and my folks will only come up for a day - before the in-laws arrive.

"And there was much rejoicing in the land. Yay."

I think next week is going to be touch and go on blogging. Then again, I may need a few therapy sessions and this could turn into yet another epic 'dear Lord, why are you putting me through this?' I did laugh though - my bible study today in Ruth was about being humble. I shouldn't scorn this time of being humbled as it is preparing me for a blessing. When we did our bible study yesterday both Hubs and I got new beginnings and new building. I'm rather happy with that new part.

Before I forget - shout out to Jill V for her birthday. Holla!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

My Life Is Stranger Than Fiction

After my last post of I will triumph - we will survive, Hubs announced he's back on unemployment as of today.

Say what??

And I take crap for having a slightly bent view on life because why? What bent view you ask? You must be new. How about not only is the glass half empty, but it's either busted and is slowly leaking OR someone took a big slurp out of it and I'm pretty sure I now see floaties in the glass.

My Dad always said people said to cheer up it could be worse, so I cheered up and sure enough, it got worse. He told me it was a joke and was never meant to be my motto in life. I said once life starts to work, I'll get a new one.

I think it maybe a toss up between - I'll own my crazy if you own your stupid OR if you can't grow pretty hair, buy some. I may have to just go with both. If you can't grow pretty hair, buy some and if that makes me crazy, then I'll own my crazy if you own your stupid.

I asked Hubs where did this put the quest for another vehicle. He said he's moving forward. Then he asked what I thought. At this point, I refuse to think because it really hasn't served me too well lately so why rely on it now? I'm coping by sitting in a corner, wrapped in a blanket, and sucking on some M&Ms.

Judge away because I don't freaking care. And I think I can say that with confidence because I hid the bag of candy corn. One must have a back up plan.

Since I was wrapped in a blanket, I wasn't hopping up and down, and I kept my hands wrapped around a bag of M&Ms so as not to wring them. Therefore, the spawn didn't pick up any distress from the me.


Score points for pretending to be calm.

Once the guys heard the news, they congratulated me for getting their b-day presents early. Even apologize for a few snarky comments on how they thought it was just to torment them. I just snicker because they were on sale and the past has taught me if I put if off to the last minute, it will bite me in the butt. That and my negative self felt better to be safe than sorry.


Right now, I like that negative, crusty broad for coming through for me. Her lack of trust in people and life in general is serving me well. Go me!

And that is why I get the whole bag of candy corn.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

And It's Back

I've noticed something that has been lurking around in the corners. I was aware of all it's little signs and glances in my direction but I was trying to ignore it. While I'm sure you're thinking I'm talking about chocolate, it's more like depression.

Oh, I know it is depressing to be without chocolate, but this is the creepy crud I have been battling off and on for the last 5 years. To see that it is back did not thrill me. I didn't know I had swan dived back into it until I was talking with Kerri during our bible study. Few comments that I said here and there totally took me off guard that I even caught myself thinking, "gosh, that didn't sound healthy."

To Kerri's credit, she kept her shock and horror to a minimum. She also showed up with a huge bag of candy corn. She totally rocks. I will miss her when I'm gone. Oh, I kid. I'm not that fortunate enough. But I have a feeling if she tells me she has a "special jacket" (wink, wink) for me to try on, I'll be running in the other direction.

I would like to think it was just the case of a bad Monday but I'm not entirely sure. I'm not having panic attacks like I was this time last year. After hearing, yet again, how many days until the guys' b-day, I got to thinking of the in-laws coming to visit and how I'm going to have to cook and how someone is going to gripe no matter what I make. It truly is a miracle I haven't gone postal on people. Oh wait, I've had a few melt downs. I'm still hoping the spawn don't remember those. But everything I have to do over the next few months just stretched out before me and I wanted to cry. Didn't see one moment of joy - just a very long to do list. Now that's just sad.


Recap: we are doing Kelly Minter's bible study Ruth, loss, love, legacy. I'm really glad we sat down and went over this last week's bible study. I so get where Naomi was coming from. I think there are a couple pages I had underlined and arrowed and starred. Kelly had in there about "there are times when it seemed as if God was out to crush my every move."

For some reason, I felt relief that someone else was saying what I was feeling and in a bible study no less. I'm sure if Naomi and I could sit down and have a cup of tea she would tell me that the Almighty loves me anyway, crusty attitude and all, can and will turn it around. And even He can wipe away bitterness. But it's hell in the waiting part.

I feel like a lot of people feel it's a sin to own up to feelings of gosh, this sucks. So many times we're told to shove our true feelings down, put on our plastic smile and serve God. But what about God not wanting lip service but our hearts? What about let your yes, be yes, and your no, be no? I've gotten in more trouble for being honest rather than faking it. But I would rather have someone be honest with me than to find out their true feelings, especially if it's through someone else, was different than what they said to my face. How is that even biblical? And why is that phoniness rewarded?

Maybe I'm in the minority? I was raised honesty is the best policy even if it hits you like a mac truck. That whole tell it in love part was sort of glossed over now that I think about it, but there was no guessing - no wondering what they were really thinking. I sort of miss that. I ran into someone at the store and it was all kiss, kiss, fake, fake - I'll call ya when you know full well it would never happen in a million years. No thanks.

Yet the hard part is her life hasn't gone in the crapper. Things are turning out rosy for her. While I'm truly glad for her, I wonder what the heck did I do wrong that so screwed up everything in my life? And the kicker is I get judged for what we are going through. I can see it in her eyes, the little digs in her comments, piling on more feelings of failure.

And there is Naomi for me saying, don't call me Naomi, call me bitter. But things do work out in the end for her. And for Ruth. So while I may suck in some people's opinions, and I do have to fight off depression and all it's ugly mood swings and emotions; I can cling to hope that it's going to work out. Some day. By the hand of the Almighty.

Now if only miss phony baloney could see me on the other side with her mouth hanging open and her eyes bugging out that would be so sweet.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Pass The Point Of No Return

So I'm thinking the police report will show evidence that I was driven to the point of no return by all the noise that guys can make. The repetition of the clicking, the drumming, the whatever noise they feel like making over and over and over is what, I'm pretty sure, will do me in. I just looked at M who was rocking out a drum solo with his pen on the table. When the eye twitch started to keep the beat, he asked if that was bothering me.

Geez, ya think???

How was your weekend? The guys spent the entire weekend in epic Nerfdom. It's so nice to see Hubs take out the stress of life by hosing our spawn down with nerf darts. There was talk about nothing but an all nerf Christmas.

Help me.

Hubs asked what I wanted for Christmas and I said a few days at a hotel. They all laughed and said I'm so funny. Except I wasn't joking. I'm starting to get a complex that no one takes me seriously.

Thankfully I am about a half hour away of getting out of here to go do some McTalking. Except we aren't doing McDs as Kerri is now convinced the golden arches is killing us all. But what a way to go!

Friday, October 15, 2010

Dag-stinking-nabbit

Thursday was a rotten day. Hubs didn't work Wednesday due to weather. So he spent a lot of time trying to get pre-approval for another vehicle. We thought we had pre-approval. We were led to believe that the dealer would work with us with our credit history and the vehicle we were looking at.

Yeah.

We had to limp our van out there. Hoopty-mobile made it out there fine. We test drove the vehicle - the guys were head over heels in love. Then we go to see how we were going to swing this only to get totally screwed. It was about as close to them spitting on us and then kicking Hubs in the kiwis.

It was bad.

The price for the vehicle was just over 9,000. We had saved money to where we were going to put 1,000 down and we knew we were not going to get a good deal on interest. But they changed the price to 15,000 said it was the fee for us having crappy credit history so it was the privilege to borrow money fee. And let's not even talk about the interest rate. The monthly bill was beyond what we could do.

Then they had the gull to push on us a mini van that isn't much better off then the van we have. They also upped the price on that by a couple thousand because we suck.

I have no problem walking away from a bad deal. But what cut me to the core is when Jared burst into tears. I don't mean teary eyed, I mean full water works. He even said but they said on the phone that is was a go on that vehicle so what the heck? No kidding, dude.

I felt awful. Hubs felt awful. We drove away. By this time is was late and we were starving and still quite a ways from home. We grabbed McDs and talked about it with the guys and why we had to walk away. Then we go to head home and the van over heats. Luckily we found an Auto-zone and Hubs ran in to buy some anti-freeze. But we had to wait for a while for the van to stop smoking. Filled it up and limped back home. We got home and we can tell the van is way worse off now than before.

The thing I'm struggling with is that we really felt like God was giving us a go and blah, blah, blah we are talking weeks of being in prayer and trying to have all the i's dotted and all the t's crossed. We are trying not to bite off more than we can chew and if that was so out of our range no biggie we can shift. But to get the green light, this time, and on that vehicle and to go through that? Sucked big dirty rocks.

Friend of mine saw my facebook status so called and was very much 'it happened for a reason'. Please all you people that aren't going through the toilet bowl of life, when you say all the cute little phrases but you yourself haven't gone through jack? Keep it to yourself because it isn't encouraging - it's only rubbing in salt on an already bleeding wound. I didn't ask for your two cents, I'm not asking you to fix it, but keep the warm gooey thoughts to yourself especially when you haven't gone through hardships, m'kay? All it does is pile on more feelings of failure. Goodness knows I have those in spades.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I Would Be Willing To Cause Harm For Some Candy Corn Right Now

Oh yes, it is that bad. You ever have those moments where you just see something and it reaches across the room, grabs you by the throat, and says, "come here, lover"? Or maybe it's the other way around. I've been known to grab a bag or 7 muttering those words. Who knows? It's all so fuzzy right now with the lack of candy corn going on.

Good news! The left side of my body decided to take a chill pill and has been playing nicely. However, I have heard rumors it's holding the right side hostage for said candy corn. This may turn into an episode. Especially since I found out the guys inhaled all the candy.

Tragedy.

Speaking of...

Nicholas is still on the count down to his birthday. I really need to come up with some evil plan to get back at him for this. I'm sure it will come to me once I have some candy corn. But I feel, yet again, that this is the calm before the storm. Only a few more weeks and then hang on to your boots, here come the holidays! Which will go until about the middle of January where you will find me in a heap on the floor, trying to click my ruby slippers saying I freaking quit!

But that's just me.

I just realized I need to call my MIL and see what the plan and schedule will be looking like. I wonder if I can get away with just handing people a loaf of bread, a jar of PB, and wishing them the best of luck? Yeah, probably not. But I can dream, can't I?

I will say I'm a wee bit nervous with this visit. We were able to keep my folks out of the picture for the last b-day but they informed us that won't be the case this time. While we had a good visit, I'm sort of freaked out to have my Mom and my MIL in the same room. I'm thinking all old bets on who would remain standing would still apply. I did ask them to just come up a few days before so as to avoid tension. We shall see. But my in-laws have dropped a truck load of hints and offers to shower us with help if we move to PA to be near them.

Words fail me. I mean there is only so many ways to type hell no, right?

Got to love the holidays. Nothing brings family angst closer to the flames. I bet it would all be better with candy corn. Or I could put myself into a candy corn coma and not be aware of anything. I would cackle with glee with my new evil plan but my guys would never let candy corn last longer than 3 days.

Back to square 1. Dang it.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

When Do You Just Own The Weirdness?

I've always known I was a strange duck. Not like totally quackers but my waddle just doesn't conform to the duck waddle ways. No, mine has sort of a limp. At least it did today as my left side of my body informed me it hated me.

You may ask, how could I be so certain? For starters, my left ovary decided it wanted it's own heartbeat and with every beat, I had pain that about left me doubled over. I may, or may not, have been asking to be put out of my misery. I was ignored and asked what was to eat. When I stood up to move, my left knee - that I had surgery on many, many moons ago - announced that it was in pain and therefore could not be called on to function. Too bad I found that out while coming down the stairs with a load of laundry.

And down came baby - big waddle and all.

Care to guess which side I landed on? The left side. While I was trying to figure out a way to punish the left side and all its naughty ways, my right side decided to get in on the crazy and my thumb started twitching and I couldn't make it stop. It totally freaked me out and I guess my omg freak-out dance cracked Jared up to the point he was on the floor gasping for air.

So glad I could entertain you, child. This is the kid that asked for a vitamin to get the taste of dinner out of his mouth. How do you recover from that, I ask you?

While I'm fine, minus the ovary and the knee, I then started having weird cravings for weird combinations. I went all spa like and cut up some cucumbers and put them in a glass of cold water. It was good - crisp, clean, refreshing and it felt very girly. Something I'm not used to around here. Then I made me a sandwich with bacon, cucumber and with a dab of poppy seed dressing and I really liked it. I like things that no one else in this house likes. I love eating apple slices with cheese. I have weird tastes. I could point to Hubs as exhibit A but why go there?

I normally get teased for my weird taste.

The guys all sat there and gagged at my creation and declared me to be the craziest thing to waddle the planet. I said if they own their stupid, I'll own my crazy. I was informed I couldn't deny the crazy, everyone was already aware of my crazy, so therefore they had no need to own up to the stupid. I countered that they couldn't deny the stupid, everyone was already aware of their stupid, because they are guys and my spawn, so it is already out there.

Bet you wished you were here.

Here's to hoping that the rest of the week goes better. And that my knee and ovary stop competing on who can hurt more. I now wonder if I come with a warranty and am a bit skert some parts have expired.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

What A Crazy Week

First off, thanks for all the nice comments about the hair. Appreciate it. Sassy is just working it.

Last week was just one long crazy ride. Now I feel like I'm sitting here, totally spent, not fully recovered, and about to face another week.

Boo.

I'm slightly skert that we have used every dish we own and there is nothing clean. When my folks came up for a visit, I think my Mom used just about everything she could get her hands on. For the first time I noticed my Mom is one sloppy cook. She even owned it when I said something. Ah, now I know why her kitchen was always clean - she had to hose the thing down to clean up her mess!

For some reason, I can't stop laughing about it.

But it has taken quite some time to get caught up on the whole mess. Sadly, the goal was not achieved this weekend. Sort of a vicious cycle when you have to keep using dishes.

The guys had some serious guy bonding this weekend which can only make me shake my head. There was a gun and knife show and Hubby got the guys knives. Women are crazy and guys are stupid. I live in a house filled with stupid and now they are armed. Clearly this plan was not thought through.

But they do crack me up. Guess that has to count for something.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Hair Saga

I had a few people tell me I should put a picture of me on my profile and ditch the cat. But I think the cat and I have soo much in common. We both wear glasses, we both have fake hair, if I let myself go I'm pretty sure I would be just as fuzzy, and we both have the tongue sticking out way of life that just screams, "bite me!"


Maybe that really IS a picture of me.

How is it possible the stuff we grow off our heads can cause so much angst, I ask you? When it's a bad hair day I'm pretty sure you can use it as a legal defense for committing a couple of crimes. But that's only if you get a female judge and an all women jury. Good luck with that.

I have loved Babs. So much so that I even did her own blog post. Trouble with Babs is that all the pulling of my own hair through the holes and taking it off has, over time, caused a lot of friction. Thus the wear and tear of it has left Babs to the point that she has her own bald spots.

Bless her heart.

The guy that cuts my hair, and has for years, is 50 minutes away. That is a lot to ask, especially from my hoopty van that scares the bejeebers out of me as the days pass. It's days are numbered so I want to limp it along for as long as I can. Things were tight financially and before long my hair was a lot longer than Babs.

There was a big old sale from the website I order from and I was able to get what I thought was a longer Babs. Trouble with that is I have no stinking clue what all these hair and wig people's lingo is so I guess a fall is not the same as a pull through wig but it sort of is.

I know, right?

While Babbette, full name because it was longer, acted very much like my own hair - straight on top but ends with curls and ringlets - I was still not happy. I had to sort of clip it up on the sides. I had the same hair style when I was 17!! I made it work and it was cute. And much like my own hair, the ends were constantly getting tangled. I would spend a while combing out all the snarls on both my own hair and my fake hair. Now that is messed up!

Like all women, I screamed, 'I hate my hair' and I was not a happy camper. Throwing that gauntlet down and striking fear into any man's heart, Hubs said to begin the quest of fixing it. I now wonder if that is guys speak for shut up and do something about it. I'm still convinced that Hubby is trying to buy his way out of the dog house, which will be for another post.

Sadly, Babs is no longer made. I am not a fan of discontinued. This wrecked my plan until....I saw this sassy little number but this was not messing around - it was a short full wig. Again, huge sale, major discount, and I got something that normally costs around $200 for $75. My only complaint is that it didn't have a clip in it. I'm thinking of yanking the ones out of Babs and sewing it on to the new one.

And the sass? She brings it. So much so that the guys all dubbed the thing Sassy from the moment it was on my head. This puppy is a full wig but my Mom cut my own hair perfectly to match and some of my hair pops through.

She didn't even know about it cuz that's how I roll. Worked like a charm.

It is super cute and sassy. Kerri informed me I look hot. The guys all said dang I look good. Personally, I think they are just saying that because I've been rocking the bathrobe for a bit too long as I'm still trying to recover from the revenge of aunt flo. Anything has got to be better than that. But it is rather fun to have a sassy new do.

Say hello to Sassy!



The guys said the picture doesn't do it justice. Love it!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

What Day Is It?

Ever have those times when you think it's a certain day but it's really not? I'm not even sure what day I think it is at this point.

I did survive a visit from the parental units. I had to say that because as they were leaving they gave everyone a hug - except me. I made a snarky comment and my Mom grabbed me to give me a hug. My Dad told me I really am adopted.

I told you all those try outs for my role as Annie felt right.

My Mom did smack my Dad in the arm and said no way as she went through a lot to have me. But all in all, we had a good visit. Hubby was home so he pretty much handled them. Mom and I worked on a nice roast and we had a nice dinner. Felt a little bit like long lost home. My Dad was on my case that I need to watch my confession after the third time I said where was that cliff so I could toss myself off of it.

Who said I was kidding?

But like I said it went well so that is all that matters. It also helped that I just wasn't in any mood to fight so I avoided any hot topics. I guess they cleaned out more stuff from the garage so I'm sure Hubby is happy. I did get to laughing when my Mom was cutting my hair and got to the roots and she exclaimed I had a lot of grey hair. I guess Clairol has kept her end up that my own momma didn't know to what degree of greyness I have going on. Long live the box of lives!

It seemed like there were a few other things I was going to blog about but, to be honest, I'm spent.

Now it is Monday or Thursday? My guys have told me like 3 times but I keep forgetting. I think I need some quality time with my pillow.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

It's Here!

Well, Sue from Praise and Coffee had asked me to write for her new online magazine a few months ago. I've known Sue for years. She better be glad I have the worst scanner or I could whip out pictures to prove it. This has been a long dream of hers and it's rather neat to watch it come to pass for her.

I'm happy to say here it is - the magazine. I'm really impressed and I'm not just saying that because I wrote an article for it! I got to say, after reading all the other ladies' articles, I'm humbled to have my name attached to it.

Great timing on the release too as this week is a Praise and Coffee Night. Translation: kick the kids to the curb, burn rubber to get out of the house, and go hang out with other women who, some of them, did the same ritual I did. Glorious!

However, I feel I better warn any new readers that have headed over here to check me out. I'm long winded and I sometimes struggle to make a point, okay, all the time. I can also be a bit raw with my honesty and at times crude but hopefully something will make you laugh because I am a firm believer that laughter is good medicine. Even if you're laughing at me instead of with me.

But this blog is just my life, my emotions, and how I try to balance it. It really is therapy gone blog.