Tuesday, October 12, 2010

When Do You Just Own The Weirdness?

I've always known I was a strange duck. Not like totally quackers but my waddle just doesn't conform to the duck waddle ways. No, mine has sort of a limp. At least it did today as my left side of my body informed me it hated me.

You may ask, how could I be so certain? For starters, my left ovary decided it wanted it's own heartbeat and with every beat, I had pain that about left me doubled over. I may, or may not, have been asking to be put out of my misery. I was ignored and asked what was to eat. When I stood up to move, my left knee - that I had surgery on many, many moons ago - announced that it was in pain and therefore could not be called on to function. Too bad I found that out while coming down the stairs with a load of laundry.

And down came baby - big waddle and all.

Care to guess which side I landed on? The left side. While I was trying to figure out a way to punish the left side and all its naughty ways, my right side decided to get in on the crazy and my thumb started twitching and I couldn't make it stop. It totally freaked me out and I guess my omg freak-out dance cracked Jared up to the point he was on the floor gasping for air.

So glad I could entertain you, child. This is the kid that asked for a vitamin to get the taste of dinner out of his mouth. How do you recover from that, I ask you?

While I'm fine, minus the ovary and the knee, I then started having weird cravings for weird combinations. I went all spa like and cut up some cucumbers and put them in a glass of cold water. It was good - crisp, clean, refreshing and it felt very girly. Something I'm not used to around here. Then I made me a sandwich with bacon, cucumber and with a dab of poppy seed dressing and I really liked it. I like things that no one else in this house likes. I love eating apple slices with cheese. I have weird tastes. I could point to Hubs as exhibit A but why go there?

I normally get teased for my weird taste.

The guys all sat there and gagged at my creation and declared me to be the craziest thing to waddle the planet. I said if they own their stupid, I'll own my crazy. I was informed I couldn't deny the crazy, everyone was already aware of my crazy, so therefore they had no need to own up to the stupid. I countered that they couldn't deny the stupid, everyone was already aware of their stupid, because they are guys and my spawn, so it is already out there.

Bet you wished you were here.

Here's to hoping that the rest of the week goes better. And that my knee and ovary stop competing on who can hurt more. I now wonder if I come with a warranty and am a bit skert some parts have expired.

5 comments:

Kaye Butler said...

I have a confession. There are some foods that I have learned to like...so that I don't have to share. There, its out and I feel so much better!!!!!!!!!!

Remember this...you may own crazy now, but, their time is coming and they will have to own both stupid and crazy!!!!!!!!!!!! Then whose gonna laugh? All us old crazies!

Julie said...

"This is the kid that asked for a vitamin to get the taste of dinner out of his mouth."...

I can't stop laughing now...

rthling said...

I'm with Julie.
Jared is hilarious.
Wonder where he gets that...
*scratches head...

Debbie said...

Oh no! So sorry you have had such a bad day of the left side!

Kerri said...

{snort} I'll own my crazy if you own your stupid. That has just become my new moniker. That is flippin HILARIOUS!!! Why is falling down so funny? It shouldn't be! But I can just see you...just like the dive over the toilet into the bathtub or whatever with the waxing...{snort} I needed good laugh right now! Thanks, I can't breathe!! : )