Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Love It

I got some sweet revenge. It was time to head to stuffmart to load up the carts. We had to go to the bank and blah, blah, blah I wasn't in the best of moods over money. I was trying to get my mind off all the blah of life and frustrations. I'm trying really hard not to be cheesed off at my Mom for just inviting themselves. We walked into stuffmart relieved that it was rather quiet. Christmas stuff was out in full glow. So I started humming Christmas music. It took me a while - a long while - to noticed the glares that were coming at me from the spawn.

I was sort of boo-bop-baa-doo, wha?

You should have seen the pained look they all gave each other and gave out a deep sigh as they tried to figure out how to explain it to me. Nicholas just shook his head and said I'm so weird, not even trying to explain it. Michael got this sympathetic look and said that it hasn't been Thanksgiving yet therefore it isn't acceptable to be getting all Christmasy at this point in time on the calendar.

There was a moment of silence as they prayed I would get it or more like prayed I didn't rip their heads off their shoulders.

I looked over at Hubby and said it's because of you and your Grinchy ways that you have managed to suck the life out of me and my holidays. He didn't miss a beat and said that my folks have done that for years. He got me with that one. But I said that he certainly hasn't helped.

I am forbidden to play anything Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving. Because I think it's stupid, I make sure to play some - usually while I'm slaving away making stuff for the Thanksgiving feast that none of them help out with. But you can bet your sweet potato pie that the guys all rat me out the moment Hubs walks through the door to my choice of music.

Love how I'm an adult yet my spawn, whom I sometimes wonder why I let live, feel the need to constantly correct me. I have heard this is normal male behavior but I'm about ready to serve humble pie.

So I ignored all of them and kept on humming. There were more sighs and dirty looks shot my way. I amped up my game and went from humming to singing the Christmas songs. Except I changed the words like dashing through the aisles, with an ungrateful gang of guys, who think I have nothing better to do and constantly complain and whine. Oh grab a cart, don't you start, oh my word who let a fart? No you can't have that put that back. Don't bump me with your cart. Hey!

Clearly I will never make it in the music industry but I was getting some serious miles off of it at annoying them.

Annoying your spawn as much as they annoy you? Priceless. Able to take it to the next level? Say hello to the master.

QUOTE OF THE DAY: 'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of sh*t.'


Dianne said...

And this is why some animals eat their young

Julie said...

They wouldn't like me... I've had Christmas tunes on my iPod for about a month now... *lol*

DidiLyn said...

That quote at the end is absolutely priceless! I never heard it before, but it is so true.
We are Queens of the drama, so they better not mess with us!
Loved it!

Debbie said...

I also love that quote! I don't think I have heard it before.

Joanna said...

Dianne - you know that's right!

Julie - do you get Christmas music burn out?

Didilyn - I couldn't stop laughing at that quote.

Debbie - I think it's a new classic. At least it is for me!

Kerri said...

Ya got that right!

Young Wife said...

I like your lyrics. :) I'm already playing Christmas music when I practice piano, but that's nothing when you consider I have two friends who've already decorated for Christmas. And my in-laws already have their tree up.