Wednesday, December 15, 2010

All's Fair In Love And War

When we last left our heroine, she had managed to get out of baking cookies as well as a booty call. Sadly, that only lasted for one day as her cookies, and her booty, was too much to resist.

I'll pause as you toss your cookies with that visual.

After massive amounts of baking, the kitchen was totally and completely trashed. Every cookie sheet that was owned, and ever thought of owning, was used and was piled in a scary heap ready to take down the first person who breathed on it.

This wasn't looking good for our heroine.

Hubs didn't do that hot of a job on cleaning up after himself as there was dough found BEHIND the toaster. But cookie goodness had momentarily blinded our heroine to the fact that dude trashed the kitchen, got his booty call, got her to make massive amounts of cookies and it was down to a fierce battle of rock, paper, scissors to see who was going to have to pony up and clean the kitchen.

It was getting tense. Eyebrow arches of threats were in full play. While our heroine couldn't prove it, she was positive Hubs was cheating. Not to be out done she was about to implement her deadly weapon - the bewb flash. Only to be used in a crisis and hopefully when the room is empty of other people. And all the blinds are closed. And no chance of a child walking in on this because usually the fall out of the flash leads to the attempt grab. Thankfully, because it usually stuns him, he's a bit slow and a defensive pose is already set in play.

Where was I?

Our heroine was feeling a bit smug knowing that all the elements were in place for the flash but she over looked a fatal flaw. She forgot she was wearing like 10 layers of clothing because it's so stinking cold out. The extra layers totally cramped her style and the bewb sort of got caught on layers 1-3.

Hubs was then aware of what he was almost a victim to and was able to finish off as a scissor securing his win because our heroine's bewb was sort of stuck half in her bra, half out so her attempt to save the bewb came across as paper thus losing the epic battle.

And that's how I got stuck washing up all the cookie sheets and mixing bowls. But I got out of cooking dinner.

However, because I'm a sore loser, and slightly off hinged, I told Hubs he could clean the dough from his cookie mess off the ceiling or he would just never know when a pan of exlax brownies, or cookies, or whatever I can hide it in will make it's appearance. I said this right after he took a big bite out of a chocolate cookie and stood there with the maniacal eyebrow saying what needed to be said - I may have lost the battle, but I will not lose the war.

6 comments:

Julie said...

Things are never boring at your house, are they?! *lol*

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Joanna said...

Nope. ;)

Kerri said...

You are freaking hilarious. I could never talk about bewbs. Or ladytown. Cookie dough on the ceiling???

Jill V. said...

BLAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I could never talk about it either Kerri. That is what makes us all stand in Awe of Joanna.....;-)

Melissa said...

Too funny! Glad I stumpled upon your blog!

Giveaway at my place! Check it out!

Joanna said...

Thanks Melissa!