Thursday, December 29, 2011

Yeah, I Know

I haven't posted in a while. The amount of wicked hormones and levels I was at - it was a good thing I stayed away. There was a lot of tears and chocolate involved. No one was to blame other than the evil hormone fairy. Because girlfriend kicked my butt through the goal posts of crazy.

The only upside was one day the spawnage got a bit feisty and the cloud of stupid was present in all 4 guys. My crazy showed up and scared the cloud of stupid. Never saw it run out of the room so fast before in my life. It was almost epic.

But we had a very nice Christmas. Quiet and drama free. Neither set of in-laws were able to come. Bliss. We were able to surprise the guys with a couple things which was awesome because we haven't been able to do that for a few years. Felt nice and reminded me of yesteryear of no more when the kids were little and so full of excitement they couldn't stand it.

It is so weird having older kids because they're all practical and it's hard to get them anything without their approval. I don't dare pick up anything for them because been there, done that not doing it again. I got them good because I told them I was going to wrap stuff so just act surprised when they opened it. And surprise! There was a little bit extra. Muwahahaa! Momma still got it.

It's been quiet as the guys have been in the lair. Hearing the laughter and noises has been hilarious while I'm wrapped up and reading a book. But it's been quiet - such a sweet precious thing for a mother of boys.

Then today we got the official notice that we have to be out by June 15th. I spent most of the day hunched over with killer man cramps to really give a flying fart.

Bring on the new year.

Speaking of, we're just going to hang out and play board games. We're took the guys to see Sherlock Holmes (awesome movie) and Mission Impossible 4 (was pretty good). I got one last round of making stuff for the snack-a-palooza and then we might take down the decorations. Then again, might do it next weekend. Not sure yet. I have heard there is going to be 1 Nerf war. Someone has been a stick in the mud as he feels he's too grown up to do this any more and his dignity is feeling severally strained.

I'm sure Nicholas will get over it eventually. So fun is being had by all.

I will say even though it will be a record breaking year for the chocolate industry, and I'm pretty sure the tissue industry will see a jump in sales as well, it's not as bad as it all sounds. Well, it does sound bad, but it's not effecting me as badly as it would of in the past.

While yeah it sucks and lots of unknown, I am no where near depressed like I was a few years ago. I'm still glad 2009 is dead. I did go outside and visit it's grave and did a happy dance on it's head. But looking forward to what the new year will bring. Feeling like this long, sad tale of woe is about to come to a close and something new is on the horizon. At times I'm thrilled but to be honest, I'm scared mostly of the unknown.

And running out of chocolate.

So even though I've been quite, and there have been issues, it's still all good in the hood.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Some Title That Is Supposed To Make Sense

Because really there is only so many ways I can say AAAHHHH!

I'm a bit cheesed off at myself. All day I had a blog post rolling around in my head. Between the mountain of laundry and epic piles of cookie sheets to clean....I haven't been able to make it too the computer.

I've finally made it to the computer. I am totally ignoring the baskets of CLEAN clothes that now need to be folded. The guys are all in bed. I have the place to myself and now? Nothing. Can't think of a single thing. Happens every time.

I would like the record to show that I did have a functioning brain at one point in time....but then I had children and they've managed to suck it right out of me. Now I find myself standing in a corner, maybe even drooling a bit, wondering what the heck it was I was looking for.

Good times.

But we are enjoying our break. We did survive the family get together. Was glad to see some people. My Mom pulled a fast one - she had my niece with them. Thankfully nephew wasn't there as he had to work. Would have taken awkward to a whole new level.

Gotta love family.

I was slightly amused that Mom ended up sitting by herself knitting. Turns out I'm not the only family member who can't stomach all her talk that the world is coming to an end and we'll have to barter with toilet paper. Tell ya with conversation like that, it's a wonder why she isn't invited to more functions. Nothing can ruin a festive mood faster than my mom!

We went back to their apartment and no matter how nuts I think she is, the woman can decorate like nobodies business! She had their apartment decked out for the holidays. If only she would use her powers for good instead of evil. She could make magazine covers run for their money! I'm trying hard not to be envious of her talents because I did not get that gene.

I've learned from past experience not to ask her to help me decorate because for whatever reason it turns out badly. I think it might be some subliminal message or something. Anything she's done for me is not her best and she thinks she knows what I want or tells me what I want.

Yeah, no.

Was happy no fur was flying and also relieved the whole thing is done and over. Was supposed to meet with some friends but they got hit with the flu. We decided to pass. Hopefully we'll see them soon. Otherwise I'm going to have to go to the store and get more stuff as I was supposed to bring a couple desserts which are all now totally polished off. *burp*

There is some strategy. Make something that the guys all pound on first so I get first crack at something I like. Evil? Maybe. But ask me if I care.

Growing up my mom made an Oreo peppermint dessert this time of year because for some odd reason it's the only time you can get peppermint ice cream. And this dessert is something that I deeply love.

Bag of Oreo's smashed to bits, little butter to make a crust
Container of Peppermint Ice Cream
Chocolate Fudge Frosting
Cool Whip

Deeeeeeppply love.

Something about chocolate and peppermint that is just so right.

Take a bag of Oreo's, pretend they are someone you don't like and beat the stuffing out of it. Reserve 1/4- 1/3 cup of crumbs for topping. Mix crushed Oreo with some melted butter (2-4 Tablespoons I think) spread into a greased pan.

(A 13x9 seems to be a bit too big but an 8x8 is too small. Sadly for you I can't remember the size of the pan nor do I have the ambition to get up and go look. You're welcome.)

Spread peppermint ice cream over Oreo crust. Spread chocolate fudge frosting over ice cream. (I should warn you "spreading" frosting over cold ice cream is rather tricky. Plus you have to be fast about it so the ice cream doesn't melt.)

Top with Cool Whip and then sprinkle reserved crumbs over top and then shove into freezer for a couple hours.

You can share it with others or totally hog it to yourself. My plan almost worked but I was busted and had to share with everyone. Sigh

I was also told I couldn't get 6 peppermint ice creams either when we go grocery shopping. Something about not enough freezer space for that and normal food. And I was voted down for skipping normal food.


Thursday, December 15, 2011

I Don't Want To Say We're Busy BUT....

It has been nuts. Our house went up for a sheriff's sale today. I have no idea if a sheriff is going to show up and give us notice or what. But we are officially on the clock to get the heck out.

No pressure.

Hubby order round 2 of the pharm stuff. It wasn't cheap and he will have to get his certification in Houston, Texas. He said a plane ticket is around $400. I don't remember what else he said because I'm pretty sure I blacked out. I woke up looking up with the guys standing over me saying, "that's gonna leave a mark."

No sympathy whatsoever.

Nicholas and Michael had auditions today. They are joining a WorshipArts program. They did really, really good. The guy was impressed with them so happy is floating all the way around here. That will start up in January and will end in April. Right now they have 1 final exam then we are officially on break.

Which is good because I need a break.

Did I mention we're going to see my folks and doing a family get together this weekend? My mom keeps trying to get us to spend the night. I keep telling her no. There is only so much I can take before I snap.

So I'm baking like crazy, running on a little sleep because we were all nervous for the guys and Hubby was having epic weird dreams where he was running in his sleep and randomly yelling. Truly is a miracle I didn't try shoving his pillow down his throat.

I am a bit concern though. Found this letter to Santa from my brain.

Dear Santa,
I think this year I would like to have a few days of quiet all to myself. Granted I understand the padded walls are standard in this establishment but I really could use a more cheerful color. And I know you are big into white and all but this jacket isn't really in my color pallet. Not to mention it's no where near my size. While we're at it, who ever heard of putting buckles and straps on the back side of it anyway? I would have left you cookies but that's a rare commodity in this establishment as no matter how many are made they disappear just as fast.

Something tells me this is going to be an interesting few days.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I Am Laughing Hysterically

What can be so hysterical you may wonder?

Or not. But that's besides the point.

I am laughing hysterically because reality showed up and danced on someone else's head other than mine for once and it's been comical. And I will own up to the fact that I tossed my head back and cackled with glee. I am still feeling ooey
and gooey which, I am sure, will come back to get me.

I have joked around for years that the rapture was going to have to happen before my twins started to drive because I wasn't sure I could handle that amount of stress - times 2.

And lo, the twins were slightly offended - hurt even that I thought they didn't have what it takes to operate a vehicle.

Fast forward to a few days ago....or maybe that's rewind to a few days ago. I was out running errands with my posse so I started to tell them to pay attention and pretend they are driving. Did you see that car pull out? Does that other douche bag driver look like he's going to pull out in front of me? On and on I tossed out the questions.

I even had them sit behind the wheel and starting to get them familiar with hey, this is a dashboard. Because as a homeschooling momma, I try to get them to start thinking about it now and how to approach it before shoving them behind the wheel and wishing them the best of luck. This, of course, will be while I drink myself into oblivion because my life flashed before my eyes - times 2.

And my how the reality, and the full blown panic, has set in. On their end.

We all knew I would have issues over this whole ordeal. And they are accustom to see me freaking out on a regular basis over any and everything, but for the freak out to be on their end was, well, rather humbling for them.

I'm still cackling over it.

Me, being me, has noticed the rapture hasn't happened to date, so I have decided to pony up and now I bring it up all the time. I haven't freaked out - yet, but they haven't actually driven yet. I'm pretty sure I have on a couple occasion given them massive overload and have fried their little brains.

They now look at me like I have some super human power to be able to do it all with ease. There is a bit of respect looking at me from Nicholas' general direction. And that takes a lot for him. Both are looking at me like, "please don't make me, mommy!!!" And after knowing how hurt and offended they have been for years, I can.not.stop.laughing.

I'm sure that isn't a wise thing to do but that's where I'm at right now. This may just be how I'm coping. I'm not sure. And before we say just let dad teach them....who do you think is going to be stuck in the vehicle with them racking up their practice hours? Dad who works? Or mom who is the house slave to everyone else's agenda, has no life, and has been right there every step of their life?

Hmm, that sounded slightly bitter.

But so painfully true.

I'm the better driver on the merit I can stay awake even when I'm tired. Chances are rather high that it's going to be freaking me to do this. I've heard so many people say I have it easy because I can pass off all the hard challenging issues to Hubby. That is an urban myth!! That hasn't happened on ANY subject. Did I mention they are 16???

I am a firm believer that it takes guts and grit to raise boys. And if you don't think you have either, just wait - you will find yourself saying things and doing things you never thought you could or would. All to push these wild crazy boys onto the next level. Because the thought of them failing and just hanging around you the rest of their lives is not an option. If that doesn't put grit in your giddy-up-and-go, I don't know what will.

The boys did beg not to have to drive Clifford the big red work truck. Frankly, I'm right there with them because I'm not a fan of driving that thing either. I now find myself in this odd predicament of having to give pep talks to the guys that they can do this, yet keeping my freak outs away from them because that causes them to have a relapse.

Please kill me off now. They haven't even driven once and the drama is at this level. I'm not sure any of us can take it if it gets amped up.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Can We Say Eek?

Life seems to be this interesting pace of super slow or super fast. Rarely, if ever, does it go nice and steady, keeping the same pace.

We seemed to have hit hyper-active drive.

I could just say, tis the season and while most of it is true, seems like there are a few other things tossed in. After years of just sitting and pushing forward in the oatmeal bowl of life, now it seems like there is this big push to go, go, go get this done, start looking at this and blah, blah, blah.

Um, okay?

I have a bully of an angel that is totally harassing me. I'm trying to look at the positive side that it must be an angel. Either that or my to-do list just took steroids and has turned into some sort of weird beast.

I find it rather weird that after pleading for years the whole 'what are we going to do' prayer and have had nothing but silence to suddenly have a drill instructor telling me to haul arse is a bit unnerving, to say the least. Especially since it isn't my arse that needs to haul, but I am the one that is supposed to keep these guys on track and make sure they get it done all on multiple levels.

I think that falls under irony. Hateful little bastard.

Top it off, I just found out we're having the work Christmas party this weekend rather than closer to Christmas. I always make treats for the boss. So that means I don't have the stuff planned, bought, or made. Which means I now have to go back to stuffmart.

Oh could I, please?!?

If you see me sobbing in the chocolate aisle just ignore me. But the upside is the movie The Help comes out on DVD and I am so getting it.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Holy Jammie Pants, Batman!

Sadly, we have been in our local stuffmart way more than normal this week. I've said a time or 50 that I can't help but feel that society is truly in the toilet after seeing so many people out and about in public in their pj's.

I wasn't allowed out of the house unless my hair was combed.

And I'm starting to think this may be a style trend. Jammie pants, boots or slippers, coat, and 2 different types of scarves.


When we had to go grocery shopping it was surprisingly peaceful. However, we stopped counting how many pj's we saw sashaying through the aisles. Every imaginable print you can think of and it was both male and female offenders.

Again I ask, really??

This is not helping me with Jared who has the Jethro gene, aka redneck, floating through his veins that randomly show up. He started to point out everyone who passed by and declared, rather loudly, that THEY are wearing pj's in public and wanted to know why he couldn't. Turns out that people who wear this outfit have no problem hearing, because I was given many a dirty look when I replied, "because we have higher standards on what is acceptable and appropriate while in public."

My favorite was a woman of grandma age that was in pink jammie pants with penguins all over them, matching top, cute boots, and coat WITH matching scarf and mittens.

Jared took one look at her and said, "well at least she jazzed up the bum look up."

It was at that moment I chose to concentrate REALLY hard on my grocery list because there was no way in the world I was going to make eye contact with her. This continued for the next 6 aisles. He came up with something new every.single.aisle.

We're not really sure why we let him live.

But I will say it was freaking hilarious.

By aisle 6, she was pissed and chose to end her shopping or just picked up the pace. I can't say as I blame her because would you want to hear, "hey those penguins look really festive and happy to be out of the house" over and over again?

The sad thing is Nicholas and I took one look at each other and busted out laughing. Hubby and Michael had their poker faces on. N and I do not posses poker faces and J has no clue what that means. So 3 out of 5 of us were laughing so hard we started to snort while the other 2 casually chuckled. We get to the end of the aisle and Michael said ever so quietly, "I bet she'll think twice before wearing that again in public." and Nicholas said, "well if she runs into us again, I'm sure we'll refresh her memory."

And I lost it again.

Took me 5 minutes to stop laughing because the look on this lady's face? P-r-i-c-e-l-e-s-s.

I'm pretty sure we're flagged on their security. The greeters recognize us and some are genuinely happy to see us and there are 2 that always give me that stern look like behave yourself young lady.

As if.

I feel the amount of pain and suffering I go through just shopping there entitles me to be bat sh*t insane just like everyone else. I'm at least dressed and as a bonus I wear undergarments. So help me I will scream discrimination if they try to kick me out.

At least I'm not like my FIL who has been known to go into the fitting area and ask other people for a roll of toilet paper.

I wish I were kidding.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Where I Say Oops

I had this originally titled this, What I Did Over The Weekend and then I was all no, seriously I'm asking because it flew by fast and it just sort of seems like a blur.

However, I never really did get around to actually, you know, posting it so now this will just be one long post where your eyes will roll back in your head, and you will yell at the screen, dear God woman, what is up with you and all the words coming out of your mouth?

At least that's what my husband usually says to me.

I tell him it's probably paybacks for something he did and that always shuts him up. He really needs to quit doing that because this only gets my curiosity and then I tend to stalk him to get him to confess. Either that or I guess stupid things like he was a cat-bugler in Paris when he was 6.

He hasn't confess but he has tossed a pillow at my head a few times. I'm waiting for him to come up with something along the lines that the word marriage is some ancient definition of torturing the person who promised not to leave your side and loving every minute of it.

But if you manage to make it through the post I have have 2 jokes at the end, so your patients will be rewarded. Or you'll scroll down to the bottom and cheat. You so would too, wouldn't you?

Thanksgiving - no extended family, lots of food, stretchy pants, and complete bliss. What's not to be thankful? Although the bird did get done faster than what we were expecting but that just meant we ate sooner. Again, what's not to be thankful about that?


The next day I really couldn't tell you because I read a book the whole day and the guys were either playing video games, building Lego ships, or killing each other. I'm not sure which and all 3 may have happened. Well, except the killing part because that would have involved noise. They have learned if they reach a certain level, I will just show up with my angry eyes and murderlate all of them.

Yes, I made up that word up.

I am, of course, kidding because if I'm going to do hard core prison time it will be for something way over the top. Then again I could just wipe them all out so no one is left suffering.

I am so giving like that.

Saturday I had enough of these people and ran away for the day with Kerri. We laughed, we didn't cry, but I'm pretty sure we laughed at people. At least this time no one threw a fork at her so I think it still ranks up there with fun. Maybe not wild and crazy that someone has to throw a fork at us to simmer down, but fun none the less.

I came home and the first thing I was asked as I walked through the door was, "is it time to decorate the tree?!" Which is a shame because it was at that very moment all ambition and energy decided they didn't want to come in just yet and ran out of the house screaming, "I have her keys, so gun it."

I'm still not sure how they managed to even get the keys but I guess that's a mute point.

So up went the tree and Jared and I decorated it. Well, he helped then decided he was done so he left and I ended up finishing it. All while Hubby did the rest of the place. J came back down and oohed and aahed over everything and then wanted to know how come the tree had more decorations on it.

Seriously? I'm still not sure how he got the Jethro gene, but when I isolate that bad boy in Hubby's gene pool, I will wipe it out so as not to taint the next generation.

All of this holiday cheer brought up the subject of cookies. You remember what happened last year so I found myself rather curious as to how this is going to play out. All I know is Hubby dear said he would help with the cookies and would do a better job at cleaning up. I have witnesses so he is so toast if he tries to weasel out of it.

And because you've made it this far, or were looking where to stop scrolling, I have 2, count them 2 bird jokes to pass along.

A man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said:

"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly:

"May I ask what the turkey did?"


There are two statues in a park; One of a nude man and one of a nude woman.

They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life!!

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.

After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing. The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?'

She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions....This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you sh*t on its head.'

And just what were YOU thinking???

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Drama, Drama, Drama

I've heard the phrase save the drama for your mama. I wish. Maybe drama is really just a nice word for crap.

The Xbox 360 drama is more than enough to make me want to get a bat and go all, er - crazier.

The whole Halo saga has been much talked about or at least I think because I'll admit it, I zoned out more than a hundred times. There is only so much I can take people. And these guys have yet to realize a girl's brain is waaay different than a guy's brain. No amount of rants, tantrums, or emotional mood swings will get me to join forces with their stupid.

Now that the guys have the beloved expensive moody machine - wait, I think Hubby said that was the definition of me. Um, awkward. Anyhoo the stupid anniversary Halo game wouldn't load no matter what we tried. My phone, because it's the smartest thing in the house, came up with a few suggestions and still no luck. Hubby came up with the brilliant idea of just ordering the old game so the guys could at least know the story line.

As if I care.

They all deemed him very smart and while angst was still here, it did appease all. Dude even contacted someone that fixes XBox and that was starting to look like a possibility but that would mean at least a week without the thing. So the angst level went right back up.

Monday the game arrived, which surprised all of us and they were flying through a few levels. I made the suggestion to try re-loading the anniversary one to see if it would work now and it did! I guess I just racked up more points on the awesome mom scale.

So I haven't seen my spawn for a few hours now and I'm fine with that. School work has been done in record time. Which is good because I've needed some peace and quiet to have a nice little meltdown. Very hard to keep a straight face in front of your kids when all I can do is panic.

Found out our house is going up for a sheriff's sale Dec. 15th. We'll then have 6 months to redeem the house or get out. Yessiry, Bob. Nothing like having no clue on what the next step is supposed to be and trying to remain calm.

So far I have fooled the masses.

And by masses I mean I speak to no one, so no one has a clue.

Oddly enough, after a good 15 minute cry, I felt at peace and really know that things are going to work out in the end. Am I happy about this? Hells no! And if you think I am, you must be new or slightly medicated. I hate that we're having to go through this. I really hate that here we go again through ANOTHER crappy situation. During my cry fest I asked God why would He want us to be crap experts because I'm pretty sure I've seen just about every texture of crap out there.

I just barfed a little in my mouth - moving on.

However, there are some silver linings to all this um, well...crap. This house is over 150 years old. Girlfriend has some serious sagging issues and her exterior, all brick, is having some cracking issues and issues upon issues. It's going to take booku bucks and bucks, especially in the booko range, is not something we have.

(Also I have no clue how to spell booku. I think it's supposed to be something like beaucoup.)

Spell check hates me, btw.

So just sitting here with one crappy situation after another has basically forced me to chill out and let go of some things. I can't change any of it or goodness knows I would have done something about it. Like beat the crap out of it with a wooden mallet.

I got a few emails calling me Pollyanna from my last post. Pah-lease! Nothing in my situation has changed. It has been an extremely hard 3-4 years and that was coming off of the hard years of all the drama with my folks fighting the law and the law not only winning, but stomping all over everything. Like Christmas.

After reading a few books on gratitude, and getting pinned to the spiritual mat, I've made the choice to look for something to be grateful about. And you can just bet your sweet biscuits that first week I was every bit as snarky and sarcastic of gee thanks God for this ginormous pile of crap You've bestowed upon me.

Testing the patients of God and still alive to talk about it.

However, He got the ultimate paybacks when He used my own kids against me. Clearly I am up against a master. The guys had sour attitudes galore! I was re-thinking about selling them for a pack of gum when my lesson for the day was when I felt God say, "huh, they sound just like you."

Cwap, cwap, and extra cwap.

(I already had my fill of crap. Cwap is more of a Ruh-roh, Raggie - I'm busted.)

After that unpleasantness, I started to see what I could really be thankful about and the more I focused on that, a lot of the bad stuff faded out of focus. I think that's when things started shifting for me. There are days when my knees are knocking and I don't know if I can even catch my breath but when I look at God and Him not giving up on me - there is just something to it.

Again, nothing has changed but I am at peace. And having faced all this crap for a loooong time with no peace, I would rather face it with peace.

We've all heard that you need the yucky stuff to make a cake and blah, blah. Okay, I get it but I really hope all this crap and drama would go away soon. Because there is only so much chocolate.

And now I want cake. Crap!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Why Shucks

The lovely Maggie gave me a lovely bloggy award.

It has been a long time since I've had a blog award and honestly most of my bloggy buddies have stopped blogging. The award is for blogs with under 200 followers. So if you qualify and are a regular peep go ahead and grab it.

It's weird because I had to stop and think how long I've been blogging and when I look at the date I'm thinking dang! Has it really been that long? I've come a long way, I've still got a ways to go, but just chugging along on my crazy train called life.

I've tried to sit down and blog what all has been going on with me and there is just too much to cover. I feel like I'm at a totally different place which is weird because NOTHING is different with our circumstances. Life still sucks to some degree but I'm not in that dark place and I have no idea what I did different to get out of it. But I am ever so grateful. Grateful to feel hope again even though there really isn't any sign of it around. Grateful that I'm feeling joy again even though I can't really say why I do.

So many people have been saying things they are thankful for during this month. I've noticed a lot of people can be thankful for the sunshine but try being thankful in the midst of the storm when the wind is howling and things are just pelted at you left and right. I'm thankful for the storm as it has been in my darkest hour that I've grown the most, that I've discovered I can survive on my own without people holding my hand, and I'm a lot stronger and more capable than I ever give myself credit for. I also appreciate when the sun does shine so much more because guarantee the dark clouds aren't that far off to blow through again, but I can take in the moment and sigh with appreciation. For a long time I couldn't do that.

I guess I'm thankful for this crazy train that still is a rolling and I'm thankful for my InterPeeps that tune in over and over.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Taking A Moment To Say....

I think I have discovered some top secret insider information. Go shopping at the Wal-Marts opening day of hunting season because it was dead, dead, d-e-a-d. No screaming children, hardly anyone was even in the store and they were pulling out stuff for the holiday madness. It was thee most pleasant and uneventful stuffmart trip we've ever had. And...the prices were back to somewhat normal.

We are still baffled that we got all the stuff for Thanksgiving and this time around was cheaper than the last few months. So strange! And while I would like to go off about some mad conspiracy, I won't and will just say I was happy for the break.

Speaking of happy, I have been having some jean issues. None of them were fitting and I have 2 pair I can just yank and they'll fall off. Those seem to be Hubs' favorite jeans. Hilarious that one. Thanks to the wonder of having twins, my skin is beyond shot. While yes, I am stuffed with too much fluff (working on it) the baggy skin sure doesn't help. So imagine my surprise when I tried on a smaller size jean and it fit! I even sat down in them and didn't turn purple.

Truly a miracle! Because I've had jeans in the past where they fit great so long as I didn't sit down. I'm sure none of you have ever experienced that before.


Although all this effort is in danger of being sabotaged as I keep finding awesome yummy looking recipes off of Pinterest. Holy smokes! Let's just say the holidays are going to be pretty yum-tastic and I think I'm going to get to practice some self-control.

There was the last of something I baked and Hubby found me chanting, "I am developing fruit and I have the fruit of self-control." After I swiped the last piece anyway he asked what happened and I said it is winter therefore not fruit season.

Actually, I'm kidding. I tossed it at him and told him to eat it. He's now complaining that he's gaining weight because of these tactics. Cry me a river Mr. Been Skinny My Whole Life and Eats Like A Pig.

I guess I don't have the fruit of sympathy. I'm sure if we polled my boys they would all say, "ya think?"

I'm not sure when or even how but I have managed to beat the casserole blues. And since I'm finding recipes like crazy, I think this is good timing. I'm baking all this awesome stuff but with all these guys I'm lucky to get even 2 bites of anything so this is working for me. They keep singing my praises on how awesome everything is.

Suddenly this is explaining the ridiculous grocery trips we've been having.

But I can have a taste of something without having to finish something off as these guys will pounce on it. Although as I'm battling to cut back on sugar, I've found that some stuff is too sweet so I can only handle a few bites anyway. Freaky.

Unless we're talking about Steak n Shakes white chocolate holiday shakes because all bets are off on those puppies!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Who Knew Right?

That time goes faster than you can imagine and suddenly it's been days since you thought of anything to blog about...or even blogging period.


So you are left with these sad little blog posts that pretty much says nothing. Oddly enough, I think all my posts sound like that so really is this any different from all the other drivel? Anyone?

In-laws didn't stay for very long. Turns out they were really broke and think they can only stay unless we do shopping out the wazoo. While I know my wazoo could use some retail therapy, it's not a requirement. But short and sweet so there is nothing wrong with that.

I will go off on a mild rant. I've noticed that all the local stores have jacked up their prices - by a lot! I went into Fashion Bug to try and snag a pair of jeans only to discover the same brand jeans went from about $20 to $39.99. Come again?? Even the clearance stuff was just the regular price but marked down from the crazy ticket price.

Me thinketh not.

Made my way over to the stuffmart only to noticed the last couple months our grocery bill has been a lot higher. We started price checking stuff and every item in the store is up. Not happy, Bob. As if things haven't been tight enough, now I'm going to get strangled by the local store that already gets a lot of my money as it is?

Of course you know, this means war.

I'm not sure how I will wage this war but I feel it is there none the less.

So with that off my chest, I will try to come up with something soon. I got all caught up on laundry which is nothing short of a miracle. Got to go see a good friend that I don't get to a whole lot and lurved every second of it. Wish I could pause those moment to just savor it a little bit longer but reminds me why it's so precious to begin with. Cuz time is short.

Friday, November 11, 2011

I Crawled Out Of The Laundry Pile To Say....

Dang it is stinking in there!

I have been on speed high (no I didn't take speed nor am I high) to get stuff done. My in-laws will be pulling in this evening and I had my folks here the other night getting some of their stuff. I'm still sort of riding the wave of the whole Joyce and boys birthday and running around like a chicken to get caught up on everything just in time for company.

Oh could we please??

Should be interesting as in hand me my wooden mallet. I'm still playing rock, paper, scissors with myself to see who's gonna get a ker-pow to the head.

Hopefully I'll be back into the blog for both my readers who thought I have fallen off the face of the earth. That is both a no but at the same time yes spelled Pinterest. Dude! Finding recipes that have turned out epic and awesome all rolled into one. Epawesome? Awesomic? Best time suck I have ever encountered! Well besides, facebook......and....maybe Twitter. But this is way cooler.

Off to battle another load. And to question myself how is it my boys have stormed a sewer, battled monsters, and came out alive but have the tale on their clothes and was unaware of all of this because GAG!!!

Monday, November 7, 2011

It Was Epic!!

I have tried to write this post a couple times but things are still crazy busy around here. I was going to tell ya to grab a snack and try to mush it all into one post but I feel asleep half way through and didn't want to put you through that. So I will either get it all out there or not and you'll just have to know it was awesome and so very needed.

But I do have a funny as only this crap can happen to me.

I made it to Ft. Wayne, IN and by that time I had to pee. I'm talking get out of my way because I will hurt you if you try to block me kind of pee. I know, TMI but there is a reason for sharing this. I get off the highway and things are sort of looking familiar. It's as I pulled into Meijer's that it dawned on me that my folks' apartment is on this same road. Since I was operating with a bladder that was not going to be denied, I threw caution to the wind and pulled over immediately.

(We'll leave off I drove right past a rest stop on the highway and didn't even pay attention.)

As I was walking towards the door I just thought the words 'what are the odds I'll run into someone I actually know?' when right at that exact moment I saw my dad.


He was about 5 seconds from seeing me so I called out dad? and dude about dropped the water he was carrying. He was all what are you doing here? Talk about busted. I had emailed them the night before but sort of left off that I was going to be in the area because I knew he and my mom would want to tag along and my cousin and I kept it quiet specifically for that very reason. That and if her mom would have found out and she would have insisted on coming too.

Oh could we? NOT.

Part of the reason my cousin and I get along so well is we have mother issues. And both of our mom's would have just messed up the whole weekend.

So I fessed up to my dad and he said - quoting here, "I saw that you posted that."

Come again??

He quickly changed the subject but I have to say all the pieces fell into a loud click. I think their friend that found my blog, and still occasionally reads my blog, told them about it. Suddenly the whole e-mail of I'm disrespecting my mom makes sense. He must still be reading the new stuff. Wait until he backs up a few years. That ought to be exciting.

I will say it ticks me off because now I will always wonder of who's reading this. Granted that is the risk you run but it just grates on me that it's one more thing for them to try and ruin. But I will say if he is reading this, it proves my point of the title Howard the coward because pretty chicken to read this and say nothing to my face about it. But then this shouldn't surprise me because heaven forbid we actually talk about anything of importance.

So much for therapy and making progress as now I have THE PROBLEM staring at it. I'm now asking Hubby to apply for a job in California.

After relieving myself, I took dad back to his apartment and he asked me to come in and surprise my mom. She was back on the computer so he started singing, "good morning to you, good morning to you" and I hopped around the corner and sang, "good morning dear sunshine."

Oh irony, I will find you and kill you - slowly.

Mom was all this is a wonderful surprise and went on and on. Thy name is guilt. And true to form, my dad was all we were thinking of coming to the same conference so give me your cell number so we can find you and then we can grab dinner together.

Well played, devil.

They now have my cell number. Made a note to myself to google info on moving to a different country.

It did crack me up that they grabbed their digital camera and was flipping through all their pictures to show me what they've been doing for the last few months. Surely I have the face that portrays the look of 'I don't care' on it.

I guess I was wrong.

They then started arguing over some cousin or something whom I've never met, nor care to meet and blah, blah I zoned out. I think I was having an out of body experience. I had to get going because I was now late meeting up with my cousin. And then I got lost.

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned I have no sense of direction. I'm talking can't find my way out of a wet paper bag type of dysfunction. And what luck, it was working nicely. I called my cousin and she came and found me and after we squealed with delight for a few minutes, we drove back to the airport. I parked my van there to make sure it was safe. At this point, I was paranoid my folks were following me and would have planted listening devices all over it.

If you knew my mother you would totally understand that last sentence. Remember just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

I told my cousin the bullet that was just lobbed at me. And then she had to spend an hour telling me it was just the devil and they really weren't going to come. She turned out to be right but still can.not.believe that I tend to have crappy luck. It was shortly after that we were almost plowed into by a semi-truck. Lovely.

As a side note, I am not a fan of Cleveland, Ohio. Just thought I would toss that out. If you are from there I am so sorry for your luck. We got on a bus to try and find the stadium where the Joyce Meyer Conference was being held and my life flashed before my eyes no less than 20 times. I am still convinced the bus-driver was aiming for pedestrians and parked cars.

By this time, my cousin and I were just a ball of nerves that was beyond frayed. It was evening and we had yet to eat anything. Since running into my dad we were running a little late. And what is the deal that there was no fast food around the hotels?? We pretty much starved the whole weekend but gosh we had Starbucks.

And it wasn't a full service Starbucks with food. Oh goodness no, we can't have that. No, it was a side bar that only made.....wait for

Crickets chirping

I'm thinking this was a mad conspiracy because yikes. But the bonus is I lost weight over the weekend.

BUT...the conference was awesome. The worship was amazing. The messages were a combination of OW, I needed that, and right on the money, with a side of ker-power. She was teaching on the Fruit of the Spirit. In one of the sessions she said that she felt led to pray over people as they have been falsely accused, talked about, deeply betrayed, and have people who were close to them toss them under the bus.

Dude! It's like she knew.

Her prayer was so spot on with everything I've gone through the last few years, I was moved to tears. And I hate to cry in front of people. I've had it used against me too many times.

It was just a really good time. Really needed it. And it's really exhausting to hang out with a 24 year old who's legs are a lot longer than mine. My calf muscles were screaming by the last day.

When we finally got back to Ft. Wayne I was so tired I was about to fall over. I called my folks as they were waiting on me to call them when I got back. Proceeded to get lost - again. Managed to find their place and then was there for the next 5 hours. I kid you not. They fed me and were all being normal. It was weird. When it's just me, it's like they're my parents but if Hubs and the boys are around they act all pissed off.

Talk about your mind bender, your brain scrambler, the yoke cooker. But for whatever reason it woke me up and then I made the trek home. So in a weird sort of way, it was good I stopped because I can say from experience that it's not good to be that tired and head off to drive a couple hours.

The next day was the twins' birthday. 16. I am still in denial, thankyouverymuch.

We took them to Cracker Barrel because I was still exhausted and I didn't feel like making lasagna and a make a birthday cake. So we made sure to stuff ourselves and then just did the cake in the evening. It worked out well.

While I was gone the guys went camping and I sort of blackmailed Jared that if he didn't complain I would take him to see Puss N Boots. That and I had a feeling he was going to bug his brothers because dude is all about the video games. Paid the piper and took him Monday but he came back and gasp bugged his brothers for a turn.

I knew this was going to go down like this and tried to prepare him and all involved, so I feel that I went above and beyond the call of duty only to be shot down and burn into a pile of ashes.

After I banged my head into the wall several times, I made lasagna and Jared something different. I think I would have snapped if he would have complained about dinner again. Once all that was done and the air was all cleared, Hubby informed me that work is slowing down as in not sure if he's working the rest of the week.

Reality can go away any second now.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Road Trip!!

Who knew there were 2 6:30s? What's the deal with that??

All packed and almost ready to head out the door to go meet up with my cousin and then off to Cleveland, Ohio for a Joyce Meyer conference. Woo hoo!! I'm sure the guys will all miss me, especially come dinner time but I am willing to make these types of sacrifices. Nothing like getting your butt smacked and slipper slapped upside the head live and in person.

Should be epic.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Oh The Excitement!

Things are at an all time crazy around here. Which is quite the accomplishment when you consider it's usually deader than a dried snail.

Now there's a mental imagine for ya.

We did our Halloween tradition which is to get out of dodge because we like to keep our candy and go to Steak n Shake as the holiday shakes are now upon us. And there was rejoicing in the land. Say with me....."white.....chocolate.....shake"

After we inhaled that goodness, we headed over to the Game Stop where we got the last of the stuff the guys needed and they picked out their games. My pocket book is still crying. No one ever informed me that those bouncing babies get more expensive the older they get. Where is the fairness of that I ask you???

While they were doing that I went to Target. Because there is only so much I can handle and I feel the need to stick it to Hubs every chance that I can get. He's learned not to complain too much because I tend to top him with all the crap I go through all day, every day 24/7 365 days a year.

Not that I'm counting. Because at this stage, it really is pointless.

So there I was - in a store - all alooone.

You can almost hear the heavenly choir playing, can't you? At least I would have if they weren't playing some crappy music over the sound system.

One thing I have learned is that all stores are pretty much dead on Halloween evening. Works for me! This means there was no bumper carts or anything to be concerned with. Since I was minus guys, I was looking at clothes. And I have discovered that I've lost just enough weight that most of my stuff is baggy but I haven't lost enough weight to go into the next size down. I'm pretty sure that equals the fashion gods are a bunch of jerks and might be out to get me.

(I am still bitter about the whole pegged legged look. If you had any hips than it just made them look that much wider. And what luck!! I have ridiculously small feet, especially for my height. I looked like an upside down triangle. Here's a hint - it wasn't flattering.)

I really need a coat for this upcoming trip. I found 3 I was in lurv with but it fit everywhere except.....wait for it.....the arms. ???? Really??? Really? All 3 were too tight in the arms. That isn't the biggest part on me and that is what was taking down my dreams of coat goodness?!?

Curse you Aquascum!

The guys found me in a heap on the floor cursing the fashion gods and aquascum. We checked out a couple other stores and no luck but I did give up on the cursing. I'm not sure what to do now. We get to go grocery shopping and then Wednesday I need to do laundry and get packed so I can hit the road early Thursday. I'm thinking I don't have enough time.

This may be a good thing because the guys are taking turns looking at each other and just going aahhhh!!! After the 5th time this happened in under 3 minutes I had to ask, "excited much?" That would be a duh. I have a feeling not much school work is going to happen over the next week. Never before I have been so happy to be leaving my band of crazy people. Gonna be a stretch to do the whole, um yeah, I'll miss you...too.

But I know fun will be had by all on all fronts and that is something to be happy about.

We did get a tsk, tsk from FIL for not getting the boys their driver's license. I shot back if they want to help pay for all the extra cost we can change that and my, oh my, how the subject was changed. Reality - it's what we serve around here. I'm pretty sure I scare the crap out of my FIL.

I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. That is until I need a coat because I might end up freezing. But I will be having fun - once I thaw out.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Therapy Session 903

Hooray!! I'm making progress!!

Cue music for pod people to do something to try and get progress to null and void. Access denied.

Have I mentioned a time or 50 that I am not a fan of being sucker punched? I'm pretty sure that I have. If you have something to say to me or have a beef with me, for all that is good and holy please tell me about it rather than it get to me way of grapevine news and it's usually when I'm up to my eyeballs with some other crisis that people wait to strike. Not that I'm bitter much. Any more.

Long story short, making progress on getting rid of bitterness towards my parents. Next day went out with Kerri, having a good ol' time when I get a weird email from the pod people because I'm still convinced my real parents have been sucked into some sort of vortex and what is left roaming around are just impostors.

While they were in prison from fighting the man, they handed out my address for people to get ahold of them. I wasn't asked and I've been told numerous times to get over it. Whatever. I got a letter for my mom from some person I have no clue about. I emailed my mom and the name didn't ring any bells for her but asked me to mail the letter to her. Okay, whatever I'll get to it eventually.

Then a family friend died and mom sort of gave me the info about the funeral but kept stressing it wasn't confirmed. I was planning on going and thought I would just give her the letter then. Didn't hear another thing from them and the letter was completely forgotten. Then I get a string of emails going off about why haven't I sent this letter yet. I explained my reasoning but apparently this was taken wrong. I seriously have no idea what the deal was but my dad emails me saying I'm disrespecting my mom and what is my problem - love dad.


Just the night before I felt like I had released a lot of junk. And there was junk right back in my face. I was livid. I asked Kerri to read the whole thing and asked to give it to me straight and she couldn't figure out what was so disrespectful either.

Further proof they are crazy.

I really had to talk myself off the ledge too. I knew I had a choice. I was hurt and angry and didn't feel like I deserved that. And just saying that to myself - validating my feelings - I was able to make a good choice to chose forgiveness and telling the junk, yet again, to take a hike.

When I got back home I sent an email and it was short and sweet and, miracle of miracles, completely devoid of sarcasm. I got a response back that oh you must have meant it funny. Nothing I said was even being funny - I was busy and forgot about it. End of story no punch line. After I did a few face plants on the desk I had to take several deep breaths and tell myself it's them NOT ME and I do not need to defend myself to them.

I'm still struggling with that but I am getting better. I have no idea why I think having these imaginary conversations in my head where I tell so-and-so what's what will help because it doesn't change a thing, but it does keep me all stirred up. When I'm stirred up I can tell you I am not at peace. No peace? Well hang on to your shorts because goodness knows what will come flying out next.

Vicious cycle.

So high five y'all! After years of barfing my parents suck - and they still do - it's not taking me down this time.

That's one small step for me and a giant kick to the enemy.

Friday, October 28, 2011


I think that is all that is left of my brain. Or maybe that's all I can hear right now. It may be a tie.

Spent the last few hours grading the guys' stuff. Tell me again why I do this?? Oh yes, I remember. I was trying to not have my brother, the sequel. Frankly, I just don't have that type of money for bail. Goodness knows I need that for myself.

Sad part is I'm not done grading Jared's stuff as that's on a different computer. But I did managed to do about 15 loads of laundry and I only have about 5 more to go and I got all the ironing done. I can tell you are just amazed at how dull my life is. I understand, I feel asleep just typing all that out.

I would go on and on about some mindless drivel as normal but Chuck Norris the uterus has decided it just doesn't care and doesn't think my 2 readers should be bored. It's already mocking me for the above paragraph.

Why yes, I am feeling a bit wonky - how could you tell???

Hormones are not to be trifled with especially when you have a uterus that has decided it wants to compete with Chuck Norris. I can say it has a wicked karate chop that has been known to render me unconscious.

This is going to be a crazy week so I am glad Chuck is going to do it's thang and then leave. Very glad that whole issue is finally under control. Any PCOS suffers should go to a health food store and try African Mango. It's linked with diet stuff but for whatever reason it has totally helped with the cycle department.

And there is lifting of holy it grasps the last of the chocolate.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Countdown Has Begun

I think if we have anything more piled on, my head will explode. Too much to do, so little desire to get it done. THE LIST has been staring at me giving the whole 'bring it' wave at me. Frankly, I'm concern. Seems like every time I'm not looking at it - it grows. I get a few things crossed off and think go me only to see 50 more things added on.

Go me, go!! Run!! The list is alive!!!!

In a sad attempt to get the guys to talk about something other than how excited they are about Halo, I've been baking up a storm trying to stuff their mouths so they will be quiet. It's not working. I'm getting randomly tackled and told how excited they are which I think may be from all the sugar. I sort of feel like I've been run over by a mac truck because teenage boys are pretty stinking solid!! And their favorite thing is to eat.

May God have mercy on our grocery budget.

Feel like standing outside stuffmart with my own bucket and bell with a sign that says, I have teenagers please give! It ain't pretty I'll tell ya that.

On a side note, someone from Mountain View, California really, really, REALLY likes my blog as they are on it more than I am. So hello to whoever you are! Hope you like the blog and aren't planning my demise. Although I hear there is a petition for it. Wish my mom would take a chill pill and just let it go. Sheesh!

Speaking of...

I have found that it is much easier to talk to her via email. I still haven't given her my phone number. I've been asking her about different stuff that is hers because that's what we've been doing for last few days is just going through stuff. The majority of it isn't mine so I thought I would give her a fair shot at it. However, expecting her to come and go through it all will never happen so I think progress has been made.

Yes, I'm still freaking out but I'm doing it quietly and away from the children so as not to freak them out. They are so busy being excited they haven't noticed. That and evasive tactics have been employed. A Nerf war was had and all that implies. We took them to see the 3 Musketeer movie. It was only eh. It was cool to see it in 3D, the characters were more believable but none of the witty banter that the Disney version had, and I am all about the witty banter. Save your money - find something else to watch.

The boys did have a first this last weekend - complete and utter shyness. We've been checking out a church and they were invited to come to the youth group and the twins both locked up. They were introduced to people and I have never seen them so uncomfortable before in my life. While it happens from time to time they usually warm up to people pretty quickly. Not this time.

Ruh-roh, Raggie.

I peppered them with questions on the way home and neither one would say what the deal was. It was a combo of don't know them that well and we're moving so why get to know people? Michael made a comment that he's seen how I have been there for other people and how I've been kicked to the curb and doesn't want to bother. Their father's anti-social gene showed up in both of them at the same time and that was hard to watch. I was then riddled with guilt that all this just us has allowed some cynicism to creep in. I may have said a time or 50 that people suck and you can't count on them for anything.

It's too bad that gets proved right over and over. And it's also too bad I still feel that way.

It does crack me up that Hubs knows a few people through work connections and is sought after and I can just stand there and not say a thing. This is working for me. First time I've seen men actually try to cultivate relationships. It's also the first time I'm not being hounded to "serve" somewhere. For me personally, it's just something to do until we move. Not the best attitudes in the world but this should come as no shock.

Me? With a good attitude??? I don't think so!

Now if only that dream job would open up so I could quit freaking out so much that would be just peachy. I think my kids are convinced that it's just this state and normal people all live in all the other states. Yeah, well, why burst their bubble? They'll learn soon enough.

Friday, October 21, 2011

I Swear I Just Sneezed And The Week Passed Right On By

What? Like it shocks you I've been known to swear a time or 50? Relax it's usually only if pain is involved or my mother which I think that speaks for itself.

The week - it went. The end.

I am having a wee bit of a problem keeping the older 2 focused on their schoolwork. This is about as dramatic as they ever get and it is rather funny to watch. Michael is even saying he's getting excited. This is the boy that we've threatened to light a fire under him to see if he'll move. His mascot in life should be a turtle.

I haven't mention that to him and just the other day he totally did an impression of the turtle from Bugs Bunny. It was scary how spot on he was. And it was even scarier how accurate Nicholas was with Bugs. And then they started quoting movie quotes from other movies in the same tone of voices and I fell on the floor and tried not to pee myself from all the laughter.

It was epic.

And if you just asked what turtle from who - go soak your head in the toilet.

Monday, October 17, 2011

So Remember When....

I said I wasn't all freaking out and such? Well, it turns out I had a delayed reaction and am now freaking out.

I then went to bed and had a weird dream where I got a tattoo, which is pretty amazing when you consider I hate needles and I'm not a fan of pain. I used to laugh that if I wanted something that would mark me for life, cause a lot of pain, and be really expensive, I would have another child.

I actually had to explain that to someone once. It wasn't pretty.

I'm not sure which part of that paragraph caused poor Hubby dear to about pass out - the thought of another child or me with a tattoo. Well at least it was good for a laugh but now that I think about it, I was the only one laughing.


Had to let my folks know hey, you're going to have to go through all your crap since I refuse to cart it all over the place. They took this email to mean hey, we are friends again so let's email back and forth. This should explain all the bruises on my forehead - it turns out if you slam your head into the wall repeatedly you will look a bit funky.

Not much to report. Normally this time of year I feel the calm before the onslaught of holidays but I'm still feeling very peaceful. This must mean God is really going to intervene in a huge way or I have finally gone off the deep end in the pool of denial. The jury is still out on this one.

I'm not happy to discover that the pantry is a bit bare and this means it is time for the loading of the carts. I think the grocery list is the biggest pain in the arse. I hate it with an ever-lasting hate because it is just one big ol' bear that I have to wrestle with every other week. Coming up with dinner for 2 weeks and try to come up with a combination of stuff that everyone will eat is as about as fun as slamming my head into a wall. Which isn't in case you were wondering.

Oh what horrors wait for me at the stuffmart with their psychotic cart and boys that fart and all that money I must part.....with. I was sort of on a roll there but not really.

At least we get to get furnace filters so SOMEONE will turn on the heat. And yet I still get mocked for wearing a ski mask in the house. Oh irony, how you love to slipper-slap me when I least expect it and then you do it anyway even when I see it coming.

Thanks for that ya big jerk.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Hate It When This Happens

Although, I can't say as I've found myself in this predicament before, but I can tell you, I'm not amused. My brain wants to freak out - really, really, really wants to freak out. But for some unexplainable reason my spirit is at peace and is keeping my brain from a full on freak.


It's like my spirit knows something my brain doesn't. Wait, that's sort of all the time. How to explain? My brain is aware that my spirit knows something it doesn't and for once it's all like, hey! But sadly, the spirit is all nope, you'll just have to wait but you can chillax.

I now have to ask myself if I even know how to chillax or even what that means. (Combo of chill and relax - again not sure I know how to accomplish this)

So here I sit, and wait. And try to override the urge to face plant on the desk over and over and over again until I lose all sense of caring. I think I may be close. Hubby did make me laugh - he said we've been waiting and dreading and wondering when this was going to happen, so now that it's here we're sort of like whatever - moving on.

And I do feel that way. Time to move on. Hopefully to a rodent free house. Oh please Lord, let it be! Between the bats, the squirrels, and the mice I am beyond over it. But the not knowing where we are going is what has me borderline on the freak out stage. Please note this is not to be confused with my general freakiness.

I told one of the boys not to plan out his life because chances of it actually happening are slim to none. He handed me a mini bag of M&Ms. He is such a push over. Although both boys made me feel A LOT better. I was having some serious guilt issues over the lack of them doing driver's ed and then on to a license because it's rather pricey - times 2. They both said they would rather have the X-box than a driver's license. Bless them. At this point I don't care if it was a bold face lie, it eased some serious guilt. But knowing them - it was the honest to goodness truth.

Seriously wish we actually had a season where I wasn't whining about something. I did title this blog as therapy but holy crap! Thought I would be a lot farther along. I don't like knowing the last 6 years have been this hard and it just seems like it's one thing after another. What the heck? I knew there were seasons of life but I think my season is stuck. Does anyone have a big stick I can borrow so as to unstuck this thing?

Friday, October 7, 2011

I Was Gonna Blog But....

The Internet kicked me off repeatedly last night so I gave up. Which now sounds like my dog ate my homework so whatev.

Would it make you feel better if I told you I was weeping and gnashing my teeth? No?? Well I did...for about a minute and turned off the computer. I wasn't feeling that hot anyway so chances are it was a smart move on the Internets part to spare you another boring blog posts of my brain's half baked rants.

Sadly for you, it was only 1 day.

There is all kinds of buzz and excitement here. The twins are getting an Xbox 360. They have wanted one for almost a decade. My nephew had one and they played a lot of Halo but it scared the beejebers out of Jared so we said no. 10 years later - it still scares the beejebers out of Jared but we're going to put it in the toy room where the only way Jared's beejebers will be scared is if he purposely puts himself in harms way.

I will be sympathetic but that only goes so far. Protect your beejebers boy! Wait, that sounds like some form of a sex talk. Now that I think about it, that is very good advice indeed.

Moving on...

So it looks like my cousin and I are going to a Joyce Meyer Conference. We've been kicking this idea around for a while. Really feel like God is saying to go do this. If He would just send me a check to pay for it, I would be ever so grateful. However, this will be the weekend of the boys' birthday which means that will be the weekend my in-laws will want to come up.

I will now downplay the Snoopy happy dance I did that gosh darn it all, I won't be here.

And my happy dance did stop when Hubs said that his folks would just have to come a different weekend.

I will not point out how high my eyebrow arched, nor will I draw attention to the sneer of my lips and total disdain that slipped from them with the question of, "let me get this straight - they are YOUR parents and YOU don't or won't spend the weekend with them unless I'm here with you because why?"

Well just leave it that words were had and a few rounds of rock, paper, scissors was to be had as well. I got the short end and informed in-laws I was going to be gone that weekend so another weekend will be needed.

Any chance at all this can be used as my defense in a court of law?

So then, because Hubby is a male and I'm pretty sure they are all stupid, he points out that his folks better not come up around Thanksgiving in case my folks decide to demand we feed them and my grandparents again. And because I'm female and I am positive we are all crazy, I said that would be a whole new level of hell I'm not prepared to face and I will go mid-evil on everyone.

And that your Honor, is what happen as best as I can recall. Can I go home now?

Just a barrel of laughs over here. At least I think I'm laughing. I can't quite tell if I'm crying or laughing. It may be a wash.

And what luck! We are now on the clock as another round of foreclosure papers have been filed. How many times can you get foreclosed on? After I got done breathing through a paper bag and looked at some of the fine print they are not trying to collect on it, it's just the process of being evicted. Which really - should have happened last year so....guess I can't complain too much.

Now we get to try and keep our panic from the children as we wait for a job opening. I can't say that is too encouraging because in the last month and a half of looking there has been nothing.

But in an attempt to look on the bright side, this is the first year I'm not dreading the holidays. It is weird. Never experienced this before and I'm not really sure what it means. Maybe we'll finally be able to leave this state. My evil plan that I hatched at age 8 to leave Michigan is all starting to come together!

Or not really.

Because my plans tend to backfire. Like a lot.

Back to panicking.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I Think The Titles Are Messing With Me

Happens every time I go to write a blog post. I have an idea, or not really, and then THE TITLE stares at me and I go blank. Because the title is suppose to sum up this mash of words that is known to all as my ramblings, rants, raves, and/or therapy sessions. How in the heck am I supposed to know what to title this mess? I still don't even know what I'm going to blog about.

I've tried just let the words flow and come up with the title but that has backfired. By the time I'm done with my long winded rant, I'm ready to pass out and start to snore and have weird dreams that involve blogging that make no sense whatsoever.

It's just staring me down. And then I lose my train of thought or it left without me and then I play 1500 rounds of solitaire waiting for it to come back so I can say, "welcome back riders." Long live the Cedar Point memories. Which I find funny since I haven't been there in 20 years.

Dang, that one hurt. I shouldn't put that out there.

So moving right along....

Loaded up the fam and we went and saw the movie Courageous. Oh my. It was really good. I know Christian films get a lot of slack for being cheesy. The only cheese to this movie, I would have to say, was during the shoot out - the sound affects didn't sound right. But it was good. We laughed, we cried, it was a good story.

And I lurv me a good story.

When we were done we went out to Qdoba. I was low on my salsa and guacamole intake because I made a lot of analogies referring to salsa and chips and I wasn't sure why but it felt so right at the time. Go figure.

Saturday Hubby came down with a cold and I spent all night knowing I was getting his germs. I now feel like someone ran over me. They may have even backup just to make sure.

Had a ton of laughs with the guys. We come up with so much inside jokes that it makes no sense to anyone but it will have 1 if not all of us in stitches. I informed the crew that if people were to overhear our conversations they would think we're nuts because we don't even finish the sentence and everyone gets it.

Except my in-laws. And it drives them insane when we do this.

Long pause

So I talked to my cousin and it looks like the 2 of us are going to head out to a Joyce Meyer conference for a weekend. We may, or may not, have screamed like a couple teenagers. Which is sad because she's still close to the teenage years and I am far from it. Far, far, boys are close to a month from turning 16. 16! I am in complete denial over the whole ordeal. Luckily for me they aren't showing any signs of wanting to drive OR that denial thing is working great for me.

It may be a bit of a toss up.


It's not like we go anywhere so I'm thinking I can delay this for a bit. I have a feeling the blog fodder on that episode is going to take the starch right out of me. I've had a few people tell me I don't look old enough to have kids the age they are - I'm worried teaching them how to drive will age me considerably. First person to ask if they are my grand kids will get popped in the head.

Wonder if I can set up a paypal thing for donations to help pay for my plastic surgery? A reward for surviving should be a new face. You know I'll have this permanent look of terror etched on my face especially when Jared is up to bat. I've watched him on Mario Kart games - we can't convince him to stay off the sidewalks and to stop playing bumper cars.

I THOUGHT I had an agreement with God that the rapture was supposed to happen before any of this driver's training thing but it is looking rather grim. I have a feeling I missed something in the translation. It's all Greek to me.

Thank you! I'll be here all week. Trying not to horph up my lungs. Pretty sure I'll need those.

Thursday, September 29, 2011


The week flew by faster than what I thought it would and I haven't blogged at all. Tonight was the first night I actually got to zone out in front of the TV. I don't know if the whole satellite TV technology has come a long way or what but dish Network is totally rocking it. Thunderstorms a plenty and not one glitch in the show. When we had it at our old place, if a bird flew over the house we had no signal for about 4 minutes. Which went over oh, so well when your kids are glued to Blue's Clues.


Not a pleasant memory.

And now I will tear up at that memory because I kind of miss those little guys. I like them now but just wish I could sometimes go back and sop up the memory and savor it just a little bit longer. They were so stinking cute! If you tell them that now, they will roll their eyes and may glare at you.

Or maybe that's just at me.

Except right now I can call them anything and they wouldn't care. Their birthday gift arrived today. Now the great debate of knowing what it is and it's in the house and they can't touch it is in full swing. Because we are that evil. Actually, we got a good price on eBay and I wanted to get it while we still had money because thanks to all the rain, Hubby hasn't worked. But he worked one day soooo can't really file for unemployment.

Why yes, that sound was me banging my head against the desk. Repeatedly.

I informed everyone that they will be dining on Ramen noodles and toast for the next few weeks. They all laughed and said I was funny. I'm now slightly skert of a revolt. It was worth a shot.

I did feel bad for the guy who installed the dish. We are surrounded by trees, and the side that isn't shivering in the shade is being swallowed whole by ivy. That thing is a beast. Hubs has battled that sucker every year and the ivy wins vines down.

Couldn't resist, mate.

Dude is also very allergic to the stuff. It doesn't matter how lightly the stuff brushes him, it will get ugly. He can no longer go out the side door that use to go to the dog's area because the vines have now covered the screen door. We've hacked the thing 4 times in the last 2 months and it's grown back every time. Like I said, it's a beast.

If all the trees and the insanely high pitched roof wasn't bad enough, it was raining most of the day. I made the guy some pumpkin pecan bread and brewed him some coffee and the man declared I was the best woman on the face of the earth. Proof that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. That and he was single.

But there is rejoicing in the land. Except I'm having a hard time learning all new channels. I'm use to channels being in a certain line up and now it is all mess up. My brain is not happy it has to learn a new trick. This should shock no one.

We finally got the whole magicJack thing worked out. It sounded like talking on a phone while underwater. Truly a heroic feet when you consider the whole no-no of water and electricity but somehow we managed it. But made it rather difficult if I wanted to actually understand the person. What can I say? I'm rather demanding like that. We've been having a problem with USB ports in the back of the computer not working but the front ones work splendidly so changed where it was plugged into and good as new.

So it has been a technology week and that usually causes my head to hurt. Which is rather odd because I sort of get that stuff but when I can't make it work the first go-around, I get so frustrated I tend to have a meltdown.

I am weird, hear me squeak.