Saturday, January 29, 2011

Noodle Goodness

I have no idea what happened to me yesterday. I went all Martha. I did the noodles. To be honest with you, it has been so many years since I've had my Grandma's I could not tell you if these were spot on or not. But my tongue will tell you close enough!

Then my Martha self took the 10 egg whites I had left over and made angel food cake. I even used my Grandma B's pan to boot. I had never made angel food cake that wasn't a mix out of a box. There was a lot of sifting involved. A lot.

At first I was sort of skert as this was more effort than what I wanted to do. However, the guys were aware of this adventure and how can I turn them down? Especially as they were chanting angel food cake over and over. And that was just from Hubs. I told him a few times I don't think that sends the right message to our spawn.

Then they talked me into making homemade whipped cream. Eat it Martha!

While the noodles were drying and the cake a baking, I then tackled a few loads of laundry. I'm wondering if this was some side effect since I was jacked up on Midol since auntie flo decided to show up. We all know I'm not in my right mind when that happens. Not that I'm all that sure I'm ever in my right mind, but that is besides the point. This now makes me wonder, if I'm not in the right mind, what is the left side doing? Because I'm pretty sure I don't go over there a whole lot.

Maybe that's where Martha came from.

So I got it all done and served it over mashed potatoes. I think that was as close to carb heaven as one dares to go. Except I'm still not a fan of angel food cake. The irony is just full here. Further proof was Jared claimed he didn't like the noodles. We all stared at him as if he just grew horns. He pitched a fit and wanted to eat something different. I was not happy, Bob, not happy. Not one of my finer moments of mom hood, especially because I was feeling all nostalgia about my Grandma B and felt his tude totally pooped all over it. I told him to get over it and eat the flipping things or he could go hungry.

Golly gee, he ate most of his bowl but had tears through the whole thing.

I swear he does this to me once a month just to see what he can get away with. And then if you try to joke around with him he bursts into tears. Oh early puberty, how I hate thee. Dude has been a pill lately.

So I had to thank my cousin who got the recipe from my aunt. For reasons I still don't understand, I was very happy about it. Then a couple other cousins read about the noodle goodness on facebook and needed the recipe so I sent it. My cousin said it perfectly that it just brings back good memories of Grandma B.

I was telling the guys at dinner different stories about her too. You would never believe this was my Mom's Mom. She was a very quite lady and didn't say a whole lot. She had a thing for Dallas and Fantasy Island, was really good at quilting, and was one awesome cook. She would have died of embarrassment from my Mom's shenanigans and I have a secret hope that she's going to let my Mom have it when we're all up in heaven.

It was sort of nice to go down memory lane. Grandma could make a mean batch of apple dumplings too. I think each of my aunts learned how to make 1 thing that reminded them of their mom. My Mom does the apple dumplings but I'm pretty sure she uses her powers for evil instead of good and I can't be having any of that.

Pity.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

So Sad On So Many Levels

Where do I even begin on that one? Over the weekend we had freezing cold weather. As in instant nose hair freeze upon leaving the house. I'm now trying to implement my plan of hibernating except I get cabin fever.

Where is the fairness of that I ask you?

I shouldn't be surprised. The last 3 years come January through February the pipes to the washing machine freeze. By now I know the drill and sure enough it took all day Monday to get the darn thing thawed out.

Falls under the category of things I wished I knew before I stripped the bed.

I had to go all crazy gangsta on the bedding so they could get done before, you know, we went to bed. Luckily, I had only hit our room before I did the boys' beds so their smelly things can rot for another day.

And rot it will.

The joys of teenagers and a tween. Who are all in one room - creating one massive cloud of stench. Got to love guys. Or at least the man in a can know as the mighty Fabreeze as I crawl into their room of doom.

According to these guys I have a highly sensitive nose and therefore they think I'm exaggerating. When I gag? I'm not making that up. Just saying.

But another level of sad was I was about out of Febreeze, and we had to go grocery shopping. For whatever reason, my brain heard going out and I dressed nicely instead of wearing combat gear as we brave stuffmart. Luckily for me, it was d-e-a-d at wally world. Not a screaming child in the whole place. We were having cart races up and down the aisles it was so dead.

And here Hubby dear wanted to go to Taco Bell and waste all that gas on an empty store. Glad I talked him out of it.

He needed to be talked out of something. He has been fighting with one printer for weeks. I wish I could tell you what was wrong or even what he said but all I got was it wasn't working and it was a pain. I left off that his dad gave it to us. Why go there? So we ended up getting a new printer.

And there was lifting of holy hands by all of us as we've all had the printer poop out on us at one time or another.

This actually takes a load off my mind because last year when we went to print our taxes, the printer was having nothing to do with it. It only printed like pages 1-3 and page 6. Knowing it was giving us fits over the grocery sheet and I felt foreboding already. Now I don't have to.

This will fall under boring for one of my stuffmart stories but sometimes boring is needed.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Day 100+ Of My Captivity

I feel as if I'm being punished for something, I'm just not sure for what. Not being able to get out and get stuff done has been annoying beyond reason. For instance, the nose pad on my glasses broke off. O-f-f - off. For those of you who wear glasses, I'm sure you are feeling the pain right on the side of your nose just thinking about it.

Could I hop in my mom-mobile and drive to wally world to get it done? No. I had to wait for Hubby dear to drive me in Clifford the big red work truck. It turns out you can't get a car loan while still on unemployment. Doesn't matter how much of a down payment you have - it ain't happening. So for now, I am stuck.

Knowing I am stuck is just annoying and I have felt the tension from it build. On a side note, I think I may have some sort of seasonal depression or something. I've been feeling the blues just hovering out there, slowly creeping up trying to be all sneaky like.

Needless to say, I grabbed dude by his lower lip and said get me out of the house. Wonderful guy that he is complied. We packed up the spawn and went to Sam's Club. In the middle of some serious lake effect snow. As in white out. Before we left, I said maybe we should wait until Sunday. Hubby said no it's supposed to be really cold that day. Single digits isn't cold?? Whatever. And away we went.

Thankfully, there were no problems. But while we were shopping, I noticed that Saturdays can be an interesting observation of holy crap you left your house looking like THAT and you're okay with it??? I get the whole rolling out of bed, tossing clothes on, and tossing the hair into a ponytail or headband as that is pretty much what I do most days. But there were a few gals that took the whole twisty hair in such a wrong path that they should put the brush down before they hurt themselves. Clearly their hair was already in enough pain.

I think I stared just a wee bit too long because the boys caught me looking with a slight horror face and you just know they have to investigate. N took one look at exhibit A, who escaped from Helga's House of Hair Horrors, and busted out laughing. M took the high road and quickly looked away and counted to 10 before he lost it. Bless him. J pipped up, rather loudly, "does she not own a mirror?" And that's when all the guys lost it. I half shoved my people down the next aisle before we got whipped with a ponytail.

Bet you wished you were here.

After we got all that taken care of, we drove back home through another white out. Then Hubby got the guys some McD's and we bailed out on them to go to wally world to get my glasses fixed. I guess there is a silver lining to this story. I've had a hard time keeping these glasses staying up on my nose the right way. They have been sliding down and most of the time I'm looking over them instead of threw them. Caught a glance at myself in the mirror once and I screamed because I looked JUST LIKE MY MOTHER.

The horror.

So added bonus of the new nose pads is they are a lot thicker than the old ones and this has kept the glasses where they are supposed to be at. I was so excited, I blurted out it's like a push up bra for my glasses. After the eye lady was able to catch her breath from laughing so hard, she said that totally made her day.

I live to serve.

After that we went out to eat. I'm telling you the time flew by because when we were done I didn't want to go home and tried to come up with a few on the fly errands. We ended up at the dollar store. Because we're real classy like that. We were there until they kicked us out so they could close. As we drove home, I told Hubs I think I have a major case of cabin fever. He said he noticed the twitching 2 weeks ago but wasn't sure if it was safe to point it out or not.

Smart man.

I was telling him how I just miss seeing the sun shine and blue skies and all. He doesn't get it as he gets headaches on bright days so he just shrugged his shoulders. Wouldn't you know it, Sunday was a sun shine day with blue skies and we had no where to go. Dang it. I'm hoping he cracks and takes me out on a few other errands during the day next week. I'm not holding my breath but I can dream as he has been really busy with several things lately.

Lot more I want to blog about but can't yet. Good stuff going on, some bad stuff going on, and a feeling that change is a coming. I'm just praying like crazy it's good change instead of bad change. Anytime we run into someone, first thing out of their mouth is what's going on with the house? We don't know and we are happy about that. We've needed time to regroup and regrouping we are - we're just not there yet. Some days I'm doing better at coping and other days I'm face first into a bowl of chocolate. I'm not sure if I'm a crazy roller coaster ride or if I'm one hot mess.

I'm wondering if the whole patience is a virtue thing is some sort of Greek myth of being able to strangle one's self into a submit hold until the time has come. That is one gift I was not blessed with. Not like the title gave that away or anything.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

As If

I'm under orders not to stay up too late.

As if.

I don't see this happening.

I was up late last couple nights as I was reading a good book and couldn't put it down. I'm wondering if this lack of sleep is what triggered me giving up on the will to do laundry. While I'm aware this is going to cause a problem in the near future so far it's working out just fine. I did give up the will to cook this afternoon but a pan of brownies brought me back from the brink.

For both people that read this blog, my MIL did send me an apology regarding the snafu email. I am still laughing about it. I reassured her my feelings where not hurt but she should stop assuming that she knows what I'm thinking.

Able to rightfully tell your MIL off? Priceless.

Not much else to blog about. It all falls under blah, blah, blah who cares and we have no life so what is the point? But this gave me the chuckles and I just knew you would laugh right along with me.

Little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.

"Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little ticked off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "You gonna tell him or should I?"

I could not stop laughing at that one.


SENIORS BATHTUB TEST

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not a senior should be put in an old age home?"

"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the senior and ask him or her to empty the bathtub"

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"


(thanks Margie)
I just got off the phone with a friend in North Dakota. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window all day. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Recycle, Recycle, Recycle

Oh my gosh!! I'm having a Blue's Clues flashback from that title!

Bang, bang, bang!

That was the sound of me hitting myself in the head with my keyboard to get that memory out of my head. E-gads that was bad.

Anyway, I have no idea why but the last few weeks I have been the victim graced with other people's junk hand-me-downs. No it's really junk. I don't mind hand-me-downs but this was ridiculous a record. Both my parents and my in-laws had bags of junk stuff they thought we could use.

It's too bad they all thought wrong.

My MIL ended up re-gifting some things that none of it was anything I could use. As I sat there with plastic smile on my face, all I could think was to make a mental note to fork stab my husband to death later for being related to these people. The only thing that saved him is the fact that I have a set of crazies too known as my parents and all the drama that they bring.

We'll call it a draw and let each other live.

The TV has been nice so I'll cut them some slack. But that is where it ended. There were 2 huge garbage bags full of shoes that my MIL is getting rid of. She has a thing for shoes and had a whole room just for shoes. She said she was cleaning out the back room in case we need to live with them for awhile. I slowly set my fork down as Hubs said that ain't gonna happen.

And love for him was back in full force.

She smirked and said we'll see. She later told me their whole church is praying that we'll move out there. Thankfully, I caught myself from saying what I was thinking. Miracles still do happen. I just know God was busting a gut over this whole conversation. I patted my MIL's hand and almost said, 'Bless your heart' until I remembered that she knows that means 'you're an idiot.'

I did remind her of who her son is and just how stubborn he can be and she just said that God would answer her prayers. I almost busted her bubble right then and there, and sadly would have taken pleasure in doing it, but was slightly distracted as more junk stuff was hauled in. I guess her sister moved into an apartment and there was all kinds of junk stuff they brought up for me to go through.

Oh happy day.

I will not repeat what I was thinking but the plastic smile was long gone and only a grimace remained.

There were all kinds of cookbooks which I didn't mind but it's sort of a bummer when you only score 3 recipes out of 5000. Then there was some metal corner shelf. My MIL went on and on how much her sister paid for it. I was able to keep my mouth closed as I looked at the thing. I didn't know what to say - that wouldn't start a fight. So I tried to distract myself by going through the bags of shoes.

Now my foot is a lot wider than my MIL's but you never know what treasures can be found. After checking out the shoe section I came to the conclusion that this was my MIL's severely medicated days as I had never seen some of these colors before. I'm sure with the aide of drugs they would have looked pretty. To each his own. Apparently 3 was the lucky number as that was all I could glean from each pile of junk stuff she had for me to go through.

In the middle of this, my cousin called to tell me she wanted to give me her old car. Her parents got her a newer one and she wanted me to have her car that was half into the ground. Um, thanks? I felt so bad to have to tell her it wouldn't really be a blessing for us as 5 people isn't going to do well in a tiny car that can barely fit 4 people in it. I'm sure J wouldn't mind riding in the trunk but I do have some standards.

I had to sit back and pray about this because I wanted to make sure I wasn't being a brat about the whole thing. But a lot of it was junk. Not to mention I couldn't use the majority of it. I was having to pray fast about my attitude because it was tanking by the second. We have been spending months going through and getting rid of stuff so to watch more of other people's stuff come carting in was so discouraging for me.

And my parents are just as bad. Mom walked through the door with a couple bags of junk stuff thinking someone could use it. I have no idea why we turned into their personal Goodwill store. And after having made 5 trips with loads of crap in the last month to our Goodwill, I'm getting pretty tired of it. I still have the bags of shoes still sitting by the kitchen table. I've asked Hubby to take it and hey, he'll get to it when he can.

Then today I get an email from my MIL but it was a forward. I guess her sister had emailed her something and they had several conversations back and forth and then she ended up emailing me the thing. I'm not sure if this was an oops or on purpose but basically she went off about how I wasn't that thrilled with the shoes etc.

Really? Really.

I had sort of an emotional hangover all day that usually happens after one of my Mom's phone calls, so to get this when I'm feeling like this? Mmhmm.

Me, being me, hit reply and said that in my defense only 3 pairs of shoes fit and I felt bad that the majority went to Goodwill and seemed like a waste. I said sorry I wasn't thrilled to her liking but wasn't really sure what response she was hoping to get.

The sound of Alaska is starting to sound so appealing. I have so had it. I have tried to do right by everyone and I can tell you it is flipping impossible.

Almost can't wait to see what type of email I will have waiting for me tomorrow. Wah-ha.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Beam Me Up Scotty

I'm not sure if I should be doing the happy dance or just dig a hole, crawl in, and pull the dirt on top of myself.

My cousin called. She was over at her grammy's house which is my aunt. Her grammy knows how to do Grandma B's homemade noodles. These noodles are so top freaking secret my Grandma took it to the grave and only taught 1 of her 4 daughters how to do it. I begged my Grandma to teach me how to do it and she just laughed at me - laughed.at.me - and never gave measurements.

I had vowed that upon seeing her in heaven, I was going to smack her for holding out on me. If she knows what is good for her, she will be greeting me with a bowl of noodle goodness. Just saying.

Now I have found different homemade noodle recipes along the way but just haven't gotten it right. I have tried to go off from memory on how Grandma did it but I think I was like 10. I have a Chicken n Noodle recipe that takes all flipping day long to do and I have been told it is quite delicious.

But it's not Grandma B's noodles. And her noodles make my noodles taste like paste.

So I sent my second cousin over on a stealth mission. She wrote it all down and has passed it on to me without my aunt knowing of this. I am giddy, I tell you, to have this recipe!! I see where I've made a few mistakes on the how and slightly shocked at how much egg yolks it takes. My 10 year old self kept saying Grandma didn't use that many when I saw her make it but then again I was 10 - I think - so what would I know? Maybe it was a smaller batch.

I'm surprised I can even remember her doing it. I can remember a lot - even going to preschool. My husband can't remember last month. My boys could not tell you much of anything from their childhood. I've now started inventing stories to make myself sound totally awesome so they won't hold anything against me. When one of them questioned the validity of it, I shot back what did they know as they can't remember it anyway.

So far they are still laughing about it.

This bad boy will be on the list for the next time I go grocery shopping. I now need to figure out what to do with that many egg whites. I once upon a time made meringues cups and put in mixed berries in it with whipped cream buuut that just screams like too much work. I think angel food cake takes a lot of egg whites. I'll have to see. But that means I have to find that darn pan to make it.

Always something.

Speaking of always something, in the middle of me getting the top secret recipe, my Mom called which I ignored. She left a message that she is trying to get a hold of one of my cousins who happens to be the aunt of the cousin who got the noodle recipe.

Are you confused yet?

After I told my Mom I held in my hot little hands the noodle recipe, she said I had to make her some when they visit again so she can judge if I got it right. Dang it.

Anyhoo, 10 minutes later, 4 topics off point, it turned into an interesting cat fight. The sucky part was there are a few things my Mom was correct on. However, she kept overlooking that she was proving my point that beating someone over the head to demand it your way is not how to talk to someone nor is it walking in love towards one another. She tried to just run right over what I was saying. She also said she is a person who believes you should duke it out.

No kidding. I am totally shocked by this revelation. (please tell me you caught the sarcasm)

I did managed to ask if she insists that she is right and refuses to hear the other person that is not duking it out, it's just demanding her way and that goes against the whole communication process. She said there are 2 sides to every story to which I said, exactly and if you don't bother to hear the other person's side that isn't communicating.


Score one for me as she was momentarily stopped in her tracks.

Good news is, thanks to doing the bible study from Me, Myself, and Lies - I could see where a lot of what my Mom was saying and how she was saying it was major gasoline words for me. If you have a fire going, what do you think gasoline is going to do? Exactly. And I can see that my clueless mother is nothing but a keg or 20 of gasoline. When I tried to tell her my side of it, I was blown off. Hubs just did that to me a few days ago and I completely lost it. Made a total a$$ of myself. I can see where getting blown off and not even given a chance to say my side is just like waving a red flag at the bull.

Ole!

But this bull did not blow up. Instead, I came right back at her and repeated everything she said to make sure I understood what she was saying. This got her ticked off because on several points she didn't say what she meant and then was angry at me for trying to mix up what she was saying. I said I took it as it was said and there is no way for me to know what she meant and that I can only go by what is said.

Pant, snort, wheez

She said she's not trying to offend me or hurt me and wanted to know what she could do for me. Talk about leaving yourself wide open. I can honestly say I want nothing from her. She is not capable of being what I need or want, so there is no point in holding her to it. Besides the fact that she's about a lot of years too late.

She did go off about how I am wrong that relationships are not expendable. I had to laugh at that one. I told her to hang out at church more and she'll see just how fast people will end relationships and over stupid reasons to boot. She told me I have unforgiveness to which I said duh.

I wonder if there is a 'blessed to be the guy with the machete hacking people to bits than the poor victim that has to forgive over and over'?

Bitter, party of 1? Your table is now ready.

I am a work in progress. There has been progress made and obviously there is more to be had. She said I need to look to Jesus. Am I the only person that doesn't take comfort in stating the obvious? Well who else am I going to look to??? Seriously? I know things are in God's timing and Who we are to follow after because, honestly, people suck and there is no way I want to follow their example. The phony 2 faced crap is not something I can deal with. I took it to heart when the bible says let your yes be yes and your no be no. What you see is what you get. I can't follow all the stupid head games women - yes, women - like to play. And for what? That your halo is shiner than the next person? Good for you. Now tell me how is that walking in love with people and to love them where they are at? Because I don't get it.

I seem to be a bit fired up about it. Looks I need to go chill out.

And dream of noodles. Mmm, noodles.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Not Much Going On

Which leads to nothing for blog posts.

And I mean nothing.

At all.

Can't even make crap up.

So I've had my nose stuck in a book. Nice place to be. But leaves nothing for the blog.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

My Butt Is Dragging

I think this is further proof that Martha Stewart is the anti-christ. I spent the day doing all kinds of Martha-y things like cleaning and cooking. Yet when I look around there is no evidence to all my hard work.

I'm waiting on Martha to give some snobby remark on that one. If she tries to tell me that at the end of the day there is a great feeling of job well done then I want to know what meds she is on cuz I ain't feeling it. Well that's not true. I'm feeling something along the lines of ow! I'm a bit worried my butt caught a splinter from dragging along the floor. I've heard of dishpan hands but what the heck do you call that??

Hubby actually has some work this week and we got back into the swing of things school wise. With visitors and Christmas break, my spawn basically lived in their pjs for most of the break (not the same ones because eww) thus leaving a mountain of laundry that was ready to topple over at any second. And then kill off the victim from the sheer stench.

But thanks to my FIL, I was still fruiting out over the tub. I yanked down the shower curtain and tossed it in the washer and then proceeded to clean the tub in all forms of bleach. While Hubby did get rid of the evidence of the farmer's hankie I was taking no chances.

So after the battle of the bleach was done, I got busy with laundry. I dodged, I parried, I thrusted and was able to not be a victim to the killer mountain. Probably because I have yet to touch the boys' laundry.

Minor detail.

But I did a truck load of laundry for Hubs and myself. And I did all of my hand wash only stuff since I was putting that off. Plus I gave Sassy a bath. My fingers still look like prunes hours later. I shoveled some of the dishes out of the sink and ran the dishwasher. I'm choosing to overlook that it needs it again. Then I made Cheeseburger Soup for dinner. Veggies were cut, goodness was made, and the guys sang my praises.

I'm still doing our laundry many hours later. I can only hope to be done with it sometime tonight so I can start on the mountain of stench tomorrow because I was informed that 1 child is lacking in jeans.

And we get to go grocery shopping tomorrow.

Hold me.

Monday, January 10, 2011

I Need A Pill

While you just know I AM a pill, you may be wondering why I would need one.

I'm not even sure how to describe the weekend. It went and now it is over. Hoo-ray!

In-laws - up for my birthday - um, yeah. My folks are planning on gracing us with their presence some time over the next few days. All my mutterings of help me went unanswered. Figures.

We have no idea what the heck happened but this wasn't the best of visits. My MIL doesn't like snow and we live in Michigan - it tends to snow here. She wanted to go shopping Friday. Hubs was smart and checked out the weather and saw that we were going to get some serious snow that afternoon and said we should go Saturday.

Cue some evil music or something. All I can say is I see where Hubs gets his 'you ain't telling ME what to do' attitude.

We loaded into Clifford the big red truck and they got in their van and off we went. Enter the snow in full force thus wiping away all visibility. I should have zoned out and found my happy place because it didn't get much better.

The boys went to Game Stop which I don't go in there without Hubs because I crack up laughing at the idiots who work there who like to hit on me. 1 guy there keeps telling my kids that it's nice their sister takes them shopping and then has the nerve to keep asking for my phone number. Words escape me on that one.

So the guys went in there while MIL and I went to Fashion Bug. I was in there a couple weeks ago last time the guys went game shopping so I already had an idea what I wanted and oh happy day they were all marked down. I got 1 sweater for $10. But while I was happily grabbing stuff, my MIL was not happy. She didn't find what she was looking for. And it was still snowing.

We ended up going into Wal-Mart because I'm stupid.

My FIL refuses to wear his glasses and I can't entirely blame him because it makes his eyes the size of hubcaps. But he can't seem to do anything important, like reading, without them. We were trying to find something to hold the beast of a TV they brought us. It's the old big box style but a flat screen on the front. I have no idea how else to explain it but the thing is a beast. So there we were looking at what stuffmart had to offer and checking out the weight limit.

Now picture my FIL taking his glasses ON AND OFF for each flipping selection. He would get right on top of it and read for a few minutes then take his glasses off and then scootch over to the next one and put his glasses back on. He kept saying how he really liked one but we kept telling him the max weight on it was under a 100 pounds. Either he didn't believe us or couldn't hear us but this went on for several minutes. According to Hubs, I fruited out and ran down the aisle by the 7th time. He should know because he was right on my heels trying to escape.

I made the mistake to see what my MIL was doing. I think she was still mad at me because I didn't really have much to eat for lunch. I had stuff to make sandwiches but she won't eat it. In my defense, I gave up years ago trying to feed the woman. She likes nothing I make so I stopped letting it get me all stressed out. I just try to keep the minimum amount of things from touching. Unless I'm PMSing and then I make nothing but casseroles with 15 items all on unscheduled touch.

I know I should repent but I can't find the motivation.

So she went off to find food that she would eat and we found something that would hold the beastly TV. I should have grabbed a case of some hard liquor.

We left the store and not a snowflake was in the sky. We should have known this was an evil ploy to trick us because we had to get on the highway to head to Target. Like 10 minutes later it was a complete whiteout. FIL always drives 10 miles UNDER the speed limit. And that's with the sun shining and dry roads.

When we arrived at Target, my FIL got as far away from my MIL as he could and I was left hearing all about it. She was not happy. When we were done, we took the guys to Old Country Buffet again and they got their money's worth. Right when we left the building - more snow. I looked at the sky and begged for mercy.

Saturday was a gorgeous day with sunshine and no snow. And we didn't go anywhere that day. It was that day that my FIL decided to talk our legs off. Non-stop. Did not matter if you were in the bathroom during this conversation. I found out they are really worried we're going to move to Alaska. I actually considered it for half an hour. That's when I realized I need some meds to talk me off of the ledge because while I was hiding in the bathroom that's when I noticed my FIL did a farmer's hankie into the tub. It was no one I live with or they would have been killed off a long time ago and I guarantee it wasn't my MIL.

After they left, my folks called and sang happy birthday off key. My Dad does it on purpose. If you don't howl from pain than he didn't do it right. And will try again. He said they are coming up to hand deliver a card and sing to me again. I said mail the card. He said not the same.

But Hubby dear made up for it. 1 - he cleaned the tub and then Monday just the 2 of us bugged out and went out to eat and hit a few stores. Had a good time with him. And we both apologized for our parents.

Repeatedly.

And then fantasized about moving to Alaska.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

And So

The in-laws have decided to come a day earlier and should be getting here before too long. I'm full of hope that this means shopping is in store and the anointing will be in full force.

I haven't caught the whole story but I guess we are getting a flat screen TV. In-laws got a new one so we're getting their old one that is 5 years old. Our TV is even older than that!

And why is it that we are now getting dumped on with snow and the snow blower died? My MIL hates to travel when it snows. I'm expecting her to be in just a peachy mood when she arrives informing me that she, yet again, resents me for taking her son so far away from her.

The funny thing is they aren't even close.

And keeping with this festive feeling, my Mom called me twice. She's not happy that they can't come up for my b-day but said they will try to come up Monday or something. Oh could you please? I've been meaning to make myself feel like crap. Goodness knows it's been such a long time sense I've felt that way about myself.

Crickets chirping

Moving right along...

I think I have finally lost what is left of my mind. I set up another facebook account for Jared under me cause I'm really tired of them yanking the guys' accounts from snafus on fb's end. Knowing Jared, he's only going to be on it for 3 weeks and then he'll get bored with it and will stop. However, I can finally help myself on all these stupid games I'm addicted to. I never have enough neighbors to finish anything on time which causes me to cuss at my computer and myself for all my gaming addictions.

Taking my brand of crazy yet another step farther, I set up another account. In my defense it was Hubs idea but he refused to have his own account because he doesn't want anyone to ever find him.

And I thought I had issues.

The trouble is I had all the computers on and was running from computer to the next to friend myself and help myself.

Isn't that sentence alone some sort of weird cry for help? Anyone??

I flat out confused myself on which one was me, my alter ego, and the one for Jared. I would like to think I'm wasting all my time to distract myself from all the junk but I have a slight feeling no one is going to buy that. Dang it.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Darn Word Count

I wrote this article for another Praise and Coffee Magazine but I could not get it under the word count. Dang it. I know this shocks you horribly that I tend to say waaay too much and struggle to make a point.

I'll pause as you try to regain your composure.

But I feel it is fitting. So while I didn't submit it, my 5 whole readers can enjoy it. Or not.

IT’S ONLY FOR A SEASON

I am stunned at how fast this Christmas season flew by. We didn’t even have excuses as we kept it low-keyed this year. It was like warm cocoa on a cold day. The way life has been going I need all the hot cocoa I can get!

The last Praise and Coffee night I was at, I kept hearing over and over that a lot of people were saying how they were going through a hard season. Believe me I know all about hard seasons! I feel like I’ve been stuck in nothing but spiritual winter for 6 long, hard years. Many a tearful prayer was tossed up to heaven but no relief.

When you go through it for that long you forget when the word of God is fresh and alive, bursting with life or even the harvest of good fruit of a lesson learned. Instead I’ve been left with the bitter cold, blowing my prayers back in my face and left with frozen circumstances that won’t budge no matter how much spiritual salt I poured on it.

My attitude has been horrible. I’ve had people back away from me in droves because of it. And it seems like nothing can test you harder when you know someone else is in their spiritual spring. While I am happy for them, it just makes my cold winter time that much more harder. Sadly, I’ve been tempted to throw a slush ball at Miss Happy Sunshine but thankfully, God usually sends an angel to tackle me before the ball can leave my frozen fingers.

I used to love the season of Christmas. With my kids getting older and all the hardship we've endured, the wonder of it has dimmed a bit and hasn't been as enjoyable. It has felt like nothing but a chore - another thing to check off the list, another round of family angst for the holidays to endure. My youngest was hanging an ornament with the word Joy on it. It dawned on me that it had been a long time since I’ve really felt joy and I about burst into tears.

This time last year we found ourselves in massive amounts of crisis that was beyond our control. Merry flipping Christmas was the bah-humbug mood of our family. Just like that, the leaves were gone and nothing was left but branches. I felt so exposed on so many levels. To add insult to injury, people said many hurtful things about us and didn’t bother to find out the whole story. The scar is still fresh and painful a whole year later. I was left with a lot of bitter resentment.

While not much has changed with circumstances, I feel like God has been blowing a warm breeze my way thawing me out. He recently reminded me of the time when my kids had asked me why pray when it didn’t seem like it did any good. I told them it was like waiting for mac n cheese. They wanted it right now but it takes a lot of steps to go from boiling water, mixing it all together, to scarfing it down. I said we shouldn’t stop praying because we don’t know what stage the prayer is at - we might be 2 more prayers away from a big bowl of cheesy goodness.

Fast forward like 12 years and God reminds me of that conversation and not to give up because my bowl of cheesy goodness really is on the way.

Winter is just starting to get geared up here but I feel like a spiritual spring is coming. I spent new years eve in some prayer time and I can’t help but bawl big ugly tears knowing I’m starting to go into another season - whatever it may be. I don’t know if He had to let me get to the end of myself so I was willing to hear or if I had to be totally alone to hear His whispered words or what. It has been hard and painful, but I’m finally seeing He really has been there the whole time through the silence, the pain, and the confusion.

Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. And while it has felt like my story was unfinished and forgotten, I feel the rattling of the page and the pen hovering over it ready to write something new. Nothing lasts forever, it just feels that way. Keep praying in season and out because you just never know when that answered prayer will arrive.

Monday, January 3, 2011

I Seem To Be Having A Hard Time Making Up My Mind

While I know that title is a duh in and of itself but this has to do with the blog background. I think I've changed it like 4 times. Don't panic it's not your eyes playing tricks I just can't make up my mind. I had sort of a Christmas/Winter but didn't know if I liked it or not. I may put back up what I had this time last year. That is if I can ever make up my mind.

For the first time in like forever I didn't want to take the Christmas tree down. I wanted all the freaking Nerf forts to come down but I'm stuck with those for a couple more days until the in-laws come up.

Why do I feel like I'm not winning on this situation?

Anyway, I'm wondering if that is why I was sort of stuck with the Christmas theme. The month flew by way too fast. I kept saying all weekend I couldn't believe Christmas was over and the guys kept telling me to buckle up because the year was over. Sigh

Our tradition has always been to put up the Christmas stuff while the rest of you people are killing yourself on Black Friday but then New Year's Day we take all the stuff down. I dragged my feet all weekend. Hubs, still not working, had his game face on this morning so we tackled all the Christmas stuff.

Still stuck with Nerf forts but only in the living room cuz we had to take the other one off the table or I refused to cook. Forever. What can I say? I play hard ball.

I really want to give a shout out to Hubs, while he only reads this when I force him to, all his help this last month was wonderful. Lifted a lot of the burden off of me. He help with baking cookies, cleaning - everything. Maybe that's why it's been a nice holiday - I didn't feel stuck with all the work.

We had fun just hanging out New Year's Eve. Played a few board games with the guys and went to town on that Swiss mushroom loaf. Had time to go through my journal and spend time praying about the new year. Feel like it's going to be good with new changes. I think that's both good and scary all at the same time. We shall see what all pans out.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Hello New Year

I thought I would try and put your mind at ease, 2011. I know you were a bit skert to show up especially after 2010 ratted me out on what I did to 2009. I can't say they were all lies. Yes, it is true I did welcome 2010 with a baseball bat and a dare. I will say it sort of worked as it didn't pull any of 09's shenanigans. Let me be clear, I am still dancing on 09's grave. While 2010 wasn't the best of years it certainly was a lot better than the previous few before it. There were some low points but there were also good things that happened. I can't say I'm completely out of the grave but progress has been made.

Speaking of graves, you will notice there are no grave markers for 10. May that serve you as a lesson 2011. You don't dump a bunch of crap on me and we will get along. You try going all PMS on me and you will feel my wrath. Although I do have a feeling this is going to be a good year. I know bumps are in store but nothing major - at least I hope.

So right now I am enjoying that new smell of a freshly unwrapped year with lots of hope and whispers of promises of better things. Please don't disappoint me. I'm still fragile. I also still have that baseball bat as well as the shovel. Just saying.