Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Beam Me Up Scotty

I'm not sure if I should be doing the happy dance or just dig a hole, crawl in, and pull the dirt on top of myself.

My cousin called. She was over at her grammy's house which is my aunt. Her grammy knows how to do Grandma B's homemade noodles. These noodles are so top freaking secret my Grandma took it to the grave and only taught 1 of her 4 daughters how to do it. I begged my Grandma to teach me how to do it and she just laughed at me - laughed.at.me - and never gave measurements.

I had vowed that upon seeing her in heaven, I was going to smack her for holding out on me. If she knows what is good for her, she will be greeting me with a bowl of noodle goodness. Just saying.

Now I have found different homemade noodle recipes along the way but just haven't gotten it right. I have tried to go off from memory on how Grandma did it but I think I was like 10. I have a Chicken n Noodle recipe that takes all flipping day long to do and I have been told it is quite delicious.

But it's not Grandma B's noodles. And her noodles make my noodles taste like paste.

So I sent my second cousin over on a stealth mission. She wrote it all down and has passed it on to me without my aunt knowing of this. I am giddy, I tell you, to have this recipe!! I see where I've made a few mistakes on the how and slightly shocked at how much egg yolks it takes. My 10 year old self kept saying Grandma didn't use that many when I saw her make it but then again I was 10 - I think - so what would I know? Maybe it was a smaller batch.

I'm surprised I can even remember her doing it. I can remember a lot - even going to preschool. My husband can't remember last month. My boys could not tell you much of anything from their childhood. I've now started inventing stories to make myself sound totally awesome so they won't hold anything against me. When one of them questioned the validity of it, I shot back what did they know as they can't remember it anyway.

So far they are still laughing about it.

This bad boy will be on the list for the next time I go grocery shopping. I now need to figure out what to do with that many egg whites. I once upon a time made meringues cups and put in mixed berries in it with whipped cream buuut that just screams like too much work. I think angel food cake takes a lot of egg whites. I'll have to see. But that means I have to find that darn pan to make it.

Always something.

Speaking of always something, in the middle of me getting the top secret recipe, my Mom called which I ignored. She left a message that she is trying to get a hold of one of my cousins who happens to be the aunt of the cousin who got the noodle recipe.

Are you confused yet?

After I told my Mom I held in my hot little hands the noodle recipe, she said I had to make her some when they visit again so she can judge if I got it right. Dang it.

Anyhoo, 10 minutes later, 4 topics off point, it turned into an interesting cat fight. The sucky part was there are a few things my Mom was correct on. However, she kept overlooking that she was proving my point that beating someone over the head to demand it your way is not how to talk to someone nor is it walking in love towards one another. She tried to just run right over what I was saying. She also said she is a person who believes you should duke it out.

No kidding. I am totally shocked by this revelation. (please tell me you caught the sarcasm)

I did managed to ask if she insists that she is right and refuses to hear the other person that is not duking it out, it's just demanding her way and that goes against the whole communication process. She said there are 2 sides to every story to which I said, exactly and if you don't bother to hear the other person's side that isn't communicating.

Score one for me as she was momentarily stopped in her tracks.

Good news is, thanks to doing the bible study from Me, Myself, and Lies - I could see where a lot of what my Mom was saying and how she was saying it was major gasoline words for me. If you have a fire going, what do you think gasoline is going to do? Exactly. And I can see that my clueless mother is nothing but a keg or 20 of gasoline. When I tried to tell her my side of it, I was blown off. Hubs just did that to me a few days ago and I completely lost it. Made a total a$$ of myself. I can see where getting blown off and not even given a chance to say my side is just like waving a red flag at the bull.


But this bull did not blow up. Instead, I came right back at her and repeated everything she said to make sure I understood what she was saying. This got her ticked off because on several points she didn't say what she meant and then was angry at me for trying to mix up what she was saying. I said I took it as it was said and there is no way for me to know what she meant and that I can only go by what is said.

Pant, snort, wheez

She said she's not trying to offend me or hurt me and wanted to know what she could do for me. Talk about leaving yourself wide open. I can honestly say I want nothing from her. She is not capable of being what I need or want, so there is no point in holding her to it. Besides the fact that she's about a lot of years too late.

She did go off about how I am wrong that relationships are not expendable. I had to laugh at that one. I told her to hang out at church more and she'll see just how fast people will end relationships and over stupid reasons to boot. She told me I have unforgiveness to which I said duh.

I wonder if there is a 'blessed to be the guy with the machete hacking people to bits than the poor victim that has to forgive over and over'?

Bitter, party of 1? Your table is now ready.

I am a work in progress. There has been progress made and obviously there is more to be had. She said I need to look to Jesus. Am I the only person that doesn't take comfort in stating the obvious? Well who else am I going to look to??? Seriously? I know things are in God's timing and Who we are to follow after because, honestly, people suck and there is no way I want to follow their example. The phony 2 faced crap is not something I can deal with. I took it to heart when the bible says let your yes be yes and your no be no. What you see is what you get. I can't follow all the stupid head games women - yes, women - like to play. And for what? That your halo is shiner than the next person? Good for you. Now tell me how is that walking in love with people and to love them where they are at? Because I don't get it.

I seem to be a bit fired up about it. Looks I need to go chill out.

And dream of noodles. Mmm, noodles.