Monday, January 10, 2011

I Need A Pill

While you just know I AM a pill, you may be wondering why I would need one.

I'm not even sure how to describe the weekend. It went and now it is over. Hoo-ray!

In-laws - up for my birthday - um, yeah. My folks are planning on gracing us with their presence some time over the next few days. All my mutterings of help me went unanswered. Figures.

We have no idea what the heck happened but this wasn't the best of visits. My MIL doesn't like snow and we live in Michigan - it tends to snow here. She wanted to go shopping Friday. Hubs was smart and checked out the weather and saw that we were going to get some serious snow that afternoon and said we should go Saturday.

Cue some evil music or something. All I can say is I see where Hubs gets his 'you ain't telling ME what to do' attitude.

We loaded into Clifford the big red truck and they got in their van and off we went. Enter the snow in full force thus wiping away all visibility. I should have zoned out and found my happy place because it didn't get much better.

The boys went to Game Stop which I don't go in there without Hubs because I crack up laughing at the idiots who work there who like to hit on me. 1 guy there keeps telling my kids that it's nice their sister takes them shopping and then has the nerve to keep asking for my phone number. Words escape me on that one.

So the guys went in there while MIL and I went to Fashion Bug. I was in there a couple weeks ago last time the guys went game shopping so I already had an idea what I wanted and oh happy day they were all marked down. I got 1 sweater for $10. But while I was happily grabbing stuff, my MIL was not happy. She didn't find what she was looking for. And it was still snowing.

We ended up going into Wal-Mart because I'm stupid.

My FIL refuses to wear his glasses and I can't entirely blame him because it makes his eyes the size of hubcaps. But he can't seem to do anything important, like reading, without them. We were trying to find something to hold the beast of a TV they brought us. It's the old big box style but a flat screen on the front. I have no idea how else to explain it but the thing is a beast. So there we were looking at what stuffmart had to offer and checking out the weight limit.

Now picture my FIL taking his glasses ON AND OFF for each flipping selection. He would get right on top of it and read for a few minutes then take his glasses off and then scootch over to the next one and put his glasses back on. He kept saying how he really liked one but we kept telling him the max weight on it was under a 100 pounds. Either he didn't believe us or couldn't hear us but this went on for several minutes. According to Hubs, I fruited out and ran down the aisle by the 7th time. He should know because he was right on my heels trying to escape.

I made the mistake to see what my MIL was doing. I think she was still mad at me because I didn't really have much to eat for lunch. I had stuff to make sandwiches but she won't eat it. In my defense, I gave up years ago trying to feed the woman. She likes nothing I make so I stopped letting it get me all stressed out. I just try to keep the minimum amount of things from touching. Unless I'm PMSing and then I make nothing but casseroles with 15 items all on unscheduled touch.

I know I should repent but I can't find the motivation.

So she went off to find food that she would eat and we found something that would hold the beastly TV. I should have grabbed a case of some hard liquor.

We left the store and not a snowflake was in the sky. We should have known this was an evil ploy to trick us because we had to get on the highway to head to Target. Like 10 minutes later it was a complete whiteout. FIL always drives 10 miles UNDER the speed limit. And that's with the sun shining and dry roads.

When we arrived at Target, my FIL got as far away from my MIL as he could and I was left hearing all about it. She was not happy. When we were done, we took the guys to Old Country Buffet again and they got their money's worth. Right when we left the building - more snow. I looked at the sky and begged for mercy.

Saturday was a gorgeous day with sunshine and no snow. And we didn't go anywhere that day. It was that day that my FIL decided to talk our legs off. Non-stop. Did not matter if you were in the bathroom during this conversation. I found out they are really worried we're going to move to Alaska. I actually considered it for half an hour. That's when I realized I need some meds to talk me off of the ledge because while I was hiding in the bathroom that's when I noticed my FIL did a farmer's hankie into the tub. It was no one I live with or they would have been killed off a long time ago and I guarantee it wasn't my MIL.

After they left, my folks called and sang happy birthday off key. My Dad does it on purpose. If you don't howl from pain than he didn't do it right. And will try again. He said they are coming up to hand deliver a card and sing to me again. I said mail the card. He said not the same.

But Hubby dear made up for it. 1 - he cleaned the tub and then Monday just the 2 of us bugged out and went out to eat and hit a few stores. Had a good time with him. And we both apologized for our parents.


And then fantasized about moving to Alaska.


Debbie said...

After that visit, I can see the appeal of Alaska!
But happy belated birthday!

Joanna said...

Thanks Debbie!

Julie said...

I think I'd be contemplating Alaska as well... Seriously!

Melissa said...

I just wrote about the horrors of WalMart!

I think I'd be on the next plane to Alaska too!


Kerri said...

I'd go to Alaska. It's beautiful up there! I think I know what farmer's hankie is...never hard the hankie part...but EEEWWWW!!!!