Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Totally Forgot To Blog Last Night

While my 2 readers were crushed, the rest, I'm sure, could care less. I mean, I didn't even care cuz I totally forgot. Besides it's rather dull to write about getting all the ironing done and I gave the guys hair cuts. Stellar stuff.

I'm sure you were hanging on the edge of your desk.

Probably not.

So I'm thinking I'm going to totally break the rules and just blog about some stuff that has been going on of late.

Hubby is doing an online course to be a certified pharmacists technician. I am so proud of him! He only has 6 lessons left and then the big test to get certified. He's hoping to work in a hospital because he's hoping to get into the lab stuff. That and he can't stand people so the thought of working at the local pharmacy gives him the willies. He said his dream job would be an IV room because you aren't supposed to talk and have to work in a closed off environment. Only him!

But he's holding a 98% and is 4 1/2 months ahead of schedule! He is totally kicking butt. We laugh because we always know when he aced a test as he comes out and does this goofy dance. Which he will totally deny doing if anyone were to ask him.

The funny thing is he started off in college doing a lot of biology and lab stuff. To say dude has come full circle is rather funny. But he keeps telling me to cork it when I mention that a time or 453 brazillion times.

However, this needs to stay off facebook as I'm friends with his boss' wife and dude is not ready to relay this info just yet. If they hear it through that grapevine, I would be toast. Burnt toast. That is so not Hubs' style. I told him I was going to write this post because I am beyond proud of him. I got the look.

I'm sure both readers are wondering why he started on this path but ended up in construction. According to him, he was not on a good path spiritually and he got his heart broken by a girl so left the whole thing and ended up at a Christian college where he met me.

His dad still blames me for ruining his son's life, btw.

Toss in the fact I got pregnant with twins the first year we were married, sort of makes career shopping down to holy crap we need diapers!! This led to a lot of odd jobs. Before twins were on the way, we took advice from my folks and long story short, it bit us in the butt that took years to fix.

Years.

Something both Hubby and I are still slightly bitter over. Why we even look at my parents is something I can not explain. So far, I'm thinking I would like to avoid hell and I'm working on as many brownie points as I can get.

Fast forward to a couple years ago and it is rather clear plastering is coming to an end. Most of the jobs have either been patch jobs or stucco work. Stucco work depends on the weather which means not steady work.

After the Herbalife fiasco that I so said was a bad idea but what the hell do I know, Hubs was forced to move in a different direction. I would like to point out that God never told him to do squat but left a lot up to Hubs to choose. Makes for one nervous, hand-wringing wife. Hubby likes to joke that God kicks him in the head to get his attention. I don't think it's a joke any more and have offered to help God by grabbing dude by his lower lip and pulling it over his head.

Still waiting on that go-ahead from above. Pretty safe to bet, I'm not going to get it.

The hard part is there are so many variables that it makes the head spin. That is something that God has been working on me is to trust that He has it all worked out. Hubs lesson was to trust the work God was doing in him and mine was to trust God period!

When we went camping last year, I had gone off on God about time frame. Hubs is so far ahead and still not knowing what's going on with the house - the timing of it all just feels like God's hands have been all over it. Why yes, I have had several servings of humble pie - do I still have some in my teeth?

So when I feel all the what ifs and what next creep in, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I trust God and His timing. Keeps the hand-wringing to a minimum. Turns out you really can trust God. Who knew? Hasn't been fun to go through but He is still there - doing something all mystical and secretive. And probably laughing that I'm stomping my foot at being kept in the dark over it all.

We know that this is our ticket out of this state. Yet another lesson on chill out, it'll all come together. The weird part, as well as the painful part, is watching how every door and every relationship has come to a close like instantly and a few of them for no real reason. One day you think everything is fine, the next it turns out you were wrong and bam, done.

I have had several people in the last few months that I hear nothing from suddenly need me to watch their kids. A lot of homeschoolers, especially with older kids, get hit with "your days are free so will you...." It is the on-going juggling act of learning to balance it all. As I've mentioned, I can't juggle. No matter how many times I explain the guys have school work and baby-sitting won't work, I'm suddenly the bad guy. And you can tell that there goes another relationship.

I get so frustrated that when demands are made on my time and if I can't, I'm the jerk. And I've had this happen back to back with people. I told Hubs I don't think I should answer the phone any more as nothing I say makes it better. I can count on one hand the people that are still talking to us. If we had an emergency, we would be hard pressed to find someone to call.

Pretty flipping sad.

I ran into a lady that said we had so much to offer and not to close ourselves off to people. I told her it certainly wasn't planned. Not much you can do when people kick you to the curb.

Add insult to injury, this goes through family grapevine and suddenly I have all kinds of emails of articles about the horrors of not being connected to a church and the danger of isolation. All of them I am aware of. Again, not much we can do when our "church" kicks us to the curb for not puckering up and kissing someone's ego.

After a lot of church shopping and finding zilch, this has left a lot of spending time with Jesus and having Him heal some wounds. Which would take a whole other blog post!

It took a lot to come out of my shell to be around people when I first started this blog. I was already the walking wounded so it was hard to let people back in. I have been rewarded with a lot of pain and a lot of why did I even bother? They say a death by a thousand cuts and when you are on cut number 832 that much blood in the water around that many sharks makes one nervous. Which is me.

I'm still getting a lot of coming out of the grave stuff. I even got Joanna Weaver's new book on the same subject. As I've blogged before, I've been hanging on to too many dead things. I still have a few other books to tackle before I even get to this one but again, all in that timing.

Love it when a plan comes together! Just wish it didn't take so darn long.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Weekend Blurb

You can tell I live in the land of boydom because all they can say about that ring is holy knuckle buster, Batman!! This then turned into a whole conversation of it really being a secret weapon and then they cracked themselves up by picturing me backhanding someone at stuffmart with this thing.

I had to point out that I don't go around backhanding people. Well, I may be thinking it but I don't do it. Big, big difference. Not to mention this would so hurt the bling-iful ring and I would actually like something pretty to survive this house of horrors against all things pretty.

Speaking of horrors...

The mother ship is coming in for a landing to visit. Hubby quickly came to that conclusion when he found me hiding under the couch "claiming to be cleaning" which judging from the size of these mutant dust bunnies that just doesn't happen. After he pulled me out from under the couch, which I still say I wasn't stuck, he was able to piece the rambling together to figure out my folks are going to visit next weekend.

It also helped all this figuring out that my folks called like 277 times. Which was a challenge as my cousin called 278 times. I can't feel my ears right now.

So the gist with my folks is that because their on going fight against the man, the man sometimes raids their accounts leaving them with zero dollars. Mom was able to stop them from taking their SS but can't keep the government out of her banking.

I could so take that in so many areas but I'm not.

This time.

In all things that make no sense, my folks still have their old bank which is in Michigan but they refuse to get a bank in Indiana. I guess this gives them the excuse since we have to come up and put money in the account, we'll swing by and see you guys.

Oh could you?

Hubs informed me that if the weather was decent the guys were going hiking that Saturday. I told him to go for it and to take all our spawn to protect them. I'm use to the pod people known as my parents. After all, they did hatch me.

He checked the weather and it's still supposed to be cold. I'm not sure who was muttering about it more, him or the boys. Except Jared who was doing the happy dance as he doesn't want to be in nature. He has the same idea as I do that nature should be observed behind a screened in porch. He is a weird combination of my crazy and Hubby's redneck. While Hubby himself doesn't have much of the redneck gene, it was still lurking around his gene pool. I looked at him and demanded to know why that was the only gene he gave to Jared. This is the child that still likes his boogers and he is beyond too old for that.

Let's just say, we pray for him a lot.

J did informed me that he is getting closer to being 12 to which I asked if he will then put away his booger ways. He looked around to make sure no one was around to hear his confession. He then leaned in real close and said ever so quietly, "I only do that now to gross you guys out".

Goal achieved.

Hubby had all last week off and I think he may have gone off the deep end. He cleaned a lot of things that he wasn't even aware of, like the bathmat in the tub. The clear one that shows you just how nasty it is type of mat. He cleaned the tub, the shower curtain etc. all because I had said I needed to do that this week.

Right now I'm trying not to abuse this power, but this is me and if nothing else, I overdo things. I started mentioning a few more things and a couple of them got cleaned AND he ran the dishwasher before he went to bed.

Strange behavior.

I bet he told God that he would do extra things to be nice to me if only He would send some warmer weather and miss out on the visit from hell the pod people. For his sake, I hope it works. Because I can come up with a list of things for him to do faster than he can think.

Looks like Hubs does have some work this week so I'm not sure how long this strange behavior will last.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Shopped Out

Not really but I'll take a break. Crazy few days. Tuesday night we had to do our loading of the carts to load up the pantry. Pretty uneventful which is rare but I'll take it.

We did find out that the van does need a new battery. Wednesday was a planned day of running around so Hubby takes van back to stuffmart to see if they will change the battery. Turns out they couldn't. Blah, blah some bolt was stripped blah, blah, can't do it.

I did not have a happy Hubs.

Who spent a while muttering all the evils of stuffmart. I guess if the van sits for too long the battery needs a jump. Great if Hubby dear is around but could be problematic if he's working. Once it's jumped it's fine just can't sit for too long. It will get fixed, I'm just not sure when.

So we loaded up the guys and grabbed lunch, went to Family Christian Bookstore (aka crack house) and got Nicholas his screamy music. BUT the new Skillet remix was not to be found and we're not sure if that is a download only. I have no idea, nor do I care. Something I guess I should work on but pretty doubtful that will happen. Got Michael a new guitar music book and the books I wanted to see if Jared would be interested in were not at this particular store. Wasn't the regular house of crack just a snort full.

And now my nose is itching at the thought of sticking anything up it. Totally creeped myself out. Let this be a lesson InterPeeps - don't do drugs. At least not anything you snort. I say that because I'm looking very fondly at the Midol bottle. While I won't snort it, I will be taking some.

Moving on...

I was telling Hubs that Old Navy was having a sale and I thought I should just look. I got a couple tops from them a few months ago that I liked. I hemmed, I hawed and then an email showed up with a 30% off coupon. Surely this was a sign from the Lord as I now pray for shopping anointing so I don't have to wait for my MIL to visit. Since I was driving, Old Navy we went.

Truly glad I went! Store wide clearance. I got a shirt for $2. N got a pair of pants, M got a shirt, I got a sweater, couple tops and a tank for like $45. You can bet yer sweet booty I was a happy shopper (not camper because I do not believe the words happy and camper should go together less my husband get the wrong idea).

Then I went to another store that I got the pair of jeans that started the whole I need to go shopping. Plus I got one huge hurkin ring. My cousin would say it is shiny and bling-iful, so it is perfect.

Bling on!

I was telling Hubs that I guess it's called a cocktail ring or something. Hilarious for me to wear because I have no life, therefore no cocktail thing to go to. I'm sure I'll manage to suffer through.

After this we went to another stuffmart. A bigger, better stuffmart. A stuffmart that has all kinds of cool stuff that our stuffmart doesn't carry. Not that I'm bitter. You may ask why in the world would we go to another stuffmart? Goof ball me did not bother to check the supplies for aunt flo's visit. While we were there I saw a cute purse that I snagged and we got Jared the video game that he was freaking out for. Star Wars Lego 3 - Clone Wars. I haven't watched any of it but from the amount of happy noises that were going on, it was a totally win.

There is a heated debated as to who was really the biggest winner. All of us got something we were wanting and felt like we were winning. This, of course, made me think of doing some Charlie Sheen rant about winning but why go there?

Instead we went to Sam's Club because obviously we hadn't had enough torture or spent enough money. I did noticed that Hubs' eyes were starting to twitch. He only had to do a couple breathing exercises and then was ok. Mainly because I did all the driving and he slept all the way back. I'll spare you all the details of him getting something he order for camping in the mail that day. Again, I think I should pay better attention...but...don't think it's going to happen.

How he ever survives, I'll never know.

By the time we got back, I was beat so he cooked dinner. It was either that or I was going to force him to get pizza. I think that's when his pocket book screamed get away you blood sucking parasite! And they say I'm the one with all the drama. Whatever.

But it was an awesome day! Even though it was cold out, and gray skies, and windy, and really yucky day - we were still winning.

Yeah, I went there. Sorry. I got distracted by the bling before I could stop myself.

So looks like I can spend the next few weeks in hibernation. Maybe by then the weather will remember it's Spring and will stop with all this cold.

Monday, March 21, 2011

As The Train Chugs

This week on the fast track of crazy, the train stopped and picked up a passenger - auntie flo. This has left me in a fetal position. Thankfully the cramps decided to show up after dinner which is good because a good karate kick to the gut will ruin any dinner. And I had made Cheeseburger Soup which has the running vote of being the best soup I make. Since this consist of lots of chopping of veggies and me holding a dull knife while attempting this, it's best not to be getting karate kicked.

So after dinner I found myself curled up on the couch where I had grabbed the remotes and announced I was going to watch Dancing with the Stars. Suddenly the room was emptied. Total score!

But right when Kristie was about to dance, the phone rings and it was my cousin. I'm not really sure I paid that much attention to what she said as I was too busy watching TV. So sad yet I don't even feel guilty. That can't be a good sign. She is a relative which means she can go for paragraphs without taking a breath of air. It truly is gift that all the women got.

I'm making sense now, aren't I?

My cousin is a single gal and at times I find myself not being able to relate so I just let her machine gun me down with what she had to say. And because I am awesome, I was able to see how great Kristie did and keep up with the conversation. After I got off the phone, one of the boys asked in amazement how do I do that? To which I had to say that only women can do that and if a guy tried it their heads would explode. My husband, who was clueless of my fetal position, upon hearing that announces, "flo is in the house, man your battle stations!" Chocolate, water, and Midol were served up faster than a speeding bullet.

The words escape me right now.

I want to know where this chocolate came from and from the speed they all moved at, I'm thinking these were drills that were practiced.

I'm not sure if I should thank them or kill them. I've been having an on-going war with myself and this is just another subject to argue over. As if I don't battle indecision as it is. Now I have something else to play rock, paper, scissors with myself about.

At least I'm not as bored with all this crazy. I have this sudden urge to yell, "all aboard!" If you need me, I'll be in the caboose with all the chocolate.

What Weekend?

I am feeling bad for the Hubs. Saturday he did all kinds of take apart things and get the part checked auto stuff that I couldn't even begin to explain. Well, I could but who wants to read he charged the battery and that seemed to fix the whole problem but the paranoid wife of his made him check both the battery and the starter and both were fine? See that just slows you down on the reading part and makes me look bad verses I could just look like a ditz.

Yeah, we'll just move right along.

Anyhoo, this took dude all day to get it done but I have my van back. Plus he changed the oil in Clifford the big red work truck. All while I battled more laundry which whoopee-doo-dah, I do that all the time. Sunday rolls in with thunderstorms after thunderstorms. There was a loud boomer that rattled the whole house and Jared came flying down the steps and dove onto the couch/me and crawled under the blanket. After asking him if it startled him he hollered from under the blanket, "ya think?"

That's my kid.

All this massive down pour has the upstairs area leaking again. Maybe I won't miss this house.

So the evening was spent mopping up lake Erie, because we couldn't discover this in the afternoon because we were all downstairs.

Good times.

The guys all trudged off to bed, grumbling about Monday, algebra, and taking out the trash. We're getting closer to getting it done but it couldn't happen soon enough for the guys. I'm going to make it up to them later in the week. A couple new albums are coming out. Skillet is releasing their Awake album in a remix. This has got to be code for getting you to buy the same stupid album with just a faster pace or some special echo that was added that they left off the first album. Makes my head explode.

I'm even going to let Nicholas get a Red album. Heaven help me! They scream/sing a lot. Picture Animal from the Muppet's just banging on a drum yelling/singing or whatever his furry self does and you'll get about the same effect.

I'm told I am not amusing with that statement.

But I have to say (with all the sarcasm I can muster) that you truly haven't lived until your child has played all this loud screamy music....on the piano. Again, sounds like Animal beating away saying, "play drums, play drums, aaaahhhhh!"

Or whatever his furry little self says.

I would say bless his furry little heart but he doesn't have one. Just a faint pulse of the dude who has his arm shoved up Animal's hoo-ha. Now there's a mental picture for ya.

So we spent the rest of the evening like a bunch of slugs and watched various TV shows. Hope we are all recovered and ready to face another week. Especially since our weather is calling for that evil white stuff that falls from the sky later in the week.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

I Know I Should Blog Something But...

I can't think of anything! At least not anything of importance. But that has never stopped me before.

I could tell ya how Hubs replaced the broken mirror on the van just in time to find out the starter went ker-blewy. The part is around $140. Dude is not happy right now. I had to remind him we had the same thing happen with Clifford the big red work truck and it's an older vehicle so hey, these things happen.

Me - being the positive one in a crisis. What the hey is that all about???

I know, I'm shocked myself.

I could tell you how the guys have started the camping trip talks which I said NOT GOING thanks to last year. I told Hubs that we don't know how this year is going to end up so he could forget about the long camping trip as that was extra expense. I even got the boys to back me that logically speaking what I was saying makes sense.

Me - being logical. The thing my husband accuses me of not being.

I would like to tell you I'm not gloating buuuttt...

How about if I told you I only did 1 victory lap and have kept it down to a dull roar? That should be believable.

We all watched American Idol. There were some great performances and some snoozers. I like Scotty but now I think he looks like the cartoon dude from Mad Magazine. But I think he should make to the top 5. I was very happy JLo fixed her lip color choice. Last week someone tweeted that it "looked like her lips were hemorrhaging" - it was really distracting. And she was so working the big hair too. One of the boys asked what in the world was Steven wearing and we said we don't know if he even knows. But I am loving the inner vein of crazy comment - I spent the rest of the night trying to work it into conversations. So far, it's not working but rest assured I will beat that dead horse into the ground. Like a brazillion times.

Yeah, I went there.

I should drag my butt off to bed. I spent most of the day battling smelly laundry and grading all the guys' school stuff. Hooray! I am caught up. Wonder how long that will last?

I need to go clean the kitchen first before I, hopefully, drift off to snooze land as I have some serious cooking to do tomorrow. Hope I got everything as I am back to wheel-less for a few days until Hubs can get it fixed. Needless to say, I will be dropping hints by the brazillion.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

A Girl And Her Blog

Sounds better than old chick with nothing better to do, don't ya think?

I had this whole long rant about I hate Daylights Saving blah, blah, except I wrote about that back in like 08. I've been blogging since the end of 07??? Now I'm all Sunrise, Sunset about my blog. I was personally betting the train was going to derail a while back.

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

I think even the blog is surprised it's still going. I can just hear it giving an interview with Diane Blogger on the WBlog. "Well, Diane, I have to say she is one crazy chick. We all know these writers can be a bit strange but this one can be a tad bit unpredictable. My cousin's sister's friend was telling me that the blog next to her is just hilarious but unstable. I think if they were still giving out bloggy awards, this bug woman would have several in the bag. And what's up with the name anyway? Her idea of outdoors is in a screened in porch for crying out loud! You would think with a name like bugs in my teeth she would be some outdoors freak. She said this is what is called a cruel irony known as her life. I don't even know what that means, Diane! Do you see what I have to put up with???"

Pause while blog breaks down crying

"It has been a struggle. But us blogs are meant to just carry on no matter what is spewed upon us."

Blog breaks out into song which is a bad rendition of My Heart Will Go On.

What a drama blog! But it was either let it give vent or rant about how much I hate the whole spring forward and lose an hour of my life. I need that hour!! I'm pretty sure that was where my memory was hiding out. Or maybe it was that 'want to' thing I've been supposed to be working on. And now it is gone. Lost in the hour that was cruelly yanked away from me.

Am I the only person that is rather impressed that I go on and on about absolutely nothing at all?? Anyone? Yeah, I didn't think so. Funny thing, I used to get in trouble for that like all the time. My how nothing has changed as here I am, just rambling about nothing and chances are rather high I'm actually going to hit the publish button on this one.

So sad on so many levels.

But then what excuse do you have for reading this? Maybe the train really will wreck. Dang, now I got the whole My Heart Will Go On going through my head thanks to the stupid blog.

Off to go pound that song out with a wooden mallet. I liked the song but thanks to the wonders of radio who overplayed the bejeezers out of it, I tend to twitch when I hear it now. I just got that eyelid to stop and I'm pretty sure this would bring it back.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Best Day Ever

I had this post written aaaannnndd forgot to it the publish button. Because I'm all observant like that.

Friday was a fabulous day. It's so fab that I am still up at the wee hours. Oh wait, that's normal. But hey, I had a great day.

Hubs and I were planning on going out for a date Friday night. There ended up being no work so it turned into just a him and me day - all day - and then we went on our date. Very happy to see the house was still standing when we got home. Actually, we stopped back a few times, and once to throw food at them and took off for dinner and a movie.

Mother of the Year Award is so in the bag.

Okay, why are people upset about that empty nest thing? Because it was a totally fun day. I think it's going to be a woo hoo and boo hoo all rolled into one. I'll miss them but I'm sure I will go on. Somehow. Not having to battle the mountain of stench or get snarled at for some infraction I'm guilty of on a daily basis and not having my ears bleed from all the noise.

Yup, going to be a stretch for me.

Back to my fun filled day...

We hit a bunch of little things we've wanted to do but don't because some child will huff and puff and let us know they don't want to be there etc. One was we hit a Bargain Bookstore. I'm thinking of calling it the crack house. I got 4 books for a $1 each! I had seen this series before at the Christian bookstore but was more moolah than what I wanted to spend. Got the whole set for 4 buck-a-roos. Oh the happy!

Hubs ran into a store next to the bookstore and I called the boys to check on them. I had Nicholas in stitches because I was talking away to him and then saw an 'oh wow' person walk by and had to share. You know the kind - someone had lied to this person and they are in public that brings out an, 'oh wow' from everyone else who has eyesight. Even then, I'm sure a blind person could just hear the 'oh wow' radiating off of that person.

Case in point, who thought the genie in a bottle/Aladdin look was a good choice? Dude had almost all of his head shaved except for a patch on the very top that was pulled back into a ponytail. To add to this effect, he seriously had his chin hair cut into a wedge that came to a point. I wasn't sure if I should have locked my door or asked for 3 wishes.

That comment took Nicholas a while to recover he was laughing so hard. I wasn't kidding.

He almost gave up on the whole breathing thing as I kept making comments on more people. My method to this madness was to keep him laughing so he wouldn't drop any more hints for me to pick up some new music while we were out and about. Once he was able to breathe again, he went right for it and asked. I knew it was coming and said if he could wait a few more weeks the very CD that he wants will be on sale. To which he said perfect as Skillet is releasing Awake in a remix.

I was all yes, I can get out of it to aw dang, I walked right into that one. Well played, my friend, well played.

Not to be left out, Michael said that would work for him as well as some new music books will be out end of the month.

It rather sucks when your children know when you get your tax return. The hints - they are many.

I scored another McD's frappe while all this shopping was going on. More happy.

We hit the health food store for various reasons but Hubs found the mother load of Cliff bars and he was geeked out about it. Found a few flavs that he has wanted to try but couldn't find it. So he was quite happy.

And because I am so awesome, I went into his crack house which is Gander Mountain. He needed a couple pair of pants. Poor fellow had sticker shock. I keep trying to tell him when those puppies last a decade than it is worth the amount you pay for it. Luckily we had to head home to get the guys some food so I didn't have to look at any camping stuff. Dude has camping fever and so do the older 2 while J and I pretend we can't hear them.

There is talk of 3 of them going on a backpacking trip this summer while Jared and I will come up with something else to do. He loved that just the 2 of us went and saw Rango last weekend. Cute movie - older boys would have stabbed themselves with a straw but the 11 yr old loved it.

15, 15, and almost 12 year old. That is why I am aging. They are great kids but wow. So it was really nice just to get away and putz around with my honey. The kids - they do not approve of the putzing unless it's just for them. You should hear the pained sighs I get if I look at anything longer than 5 minutes.

Yessiry Bob, that whole empty house with just the old man is going to be a stretch.

Ow! I sprained my eye from rolling it.

Friday, March 11, 2011

It May Be A Toss Up Between Hormones And Cabin Fever

They sort of are the same with the end result of crankiness and sarcasm. I'm personally leaning toward the hormone level because really the guys haven't been bad but I, however, have been put in time out. I'm pretty sure if I wouldn't have made baked ziti for dinner, I would have been voted off the island.

And it is weird because it's not like I'm all we're doomed! And I'm not foaming at the mouth over something my mother said either. I'm not depressed - thank God. I want to go out and do something but I have no clue what. And this is coming from the person who has spent the last two days under a sherpa blanket saying glad we didn't have anywhere to go. That was after I was chanting for the snow to die but gave up when I saw a few snowflakes.

Seriously not sure if that falls under cabin fever or I've gone savage with the hormones. Or is that along the lines of intervention is needed? I really can't tell because some days it all sounds the same.

I found myself playing rock, paper, scissors WITH MYSELF over what to make for dinner the other day. That can't be good. At least I'm willing to cook. Last year, I was in the throws of some serious casserole blues. So this is progress. But there seems to be some mad conspiracy over frozen french cut green beans. I've asked on facebook and twitter if there was a French boycott I wasn't aware of but no one seemed to know why all the frozen french cut green beans have been banished from all the grocery stores around here. I have a few recipes that call for le french cut bean and the normal ones are okay only because what else am I going to do? Why I'm going to throw a temper tantrum and then rant and rave about it to my 2 readers, that's what I'm going to do!!

I can tell - you are just as outraged as myself.

It's the little things that keep you coming back for more. I just haven't figured out what that is.

Another possibility for my off kilter mood is trying to plot and plan next year's curriculum. I know I whine about this A LOT, but it is huge to slug through this stuff, wring your hands, and pray like you've never prayed before that the rapture will happen before any of this will matter.

Although I'm slightly scared of what Michael will do knowing he just did a year of algebra for nothing. I don't think I would live that one down for quite a while.

It's just a lot to go through. My personal opinion is this is the hardest part of homeschooling. Hubby tossed out he thought the boys should do music theory for next year to which I said it's not a theory, they do music all the time. My mom did ask me how in the world do I stand it when N is banging away on the piano and M is on the guitar upstairs going to town and J is doing some type of video game.

I wasn't aware I had a choice. I said I've been honing my Jedi tricks to try and find a happy place. It's either that or peel out of the driveway but that would require having somewhere to go.

Vicious cycle.

I can feel that boredom creeping in as I'm starting to really think about packing up the kids and visiting the distant fam for a day. I was asked in an email what are we doing for spring break. After I stopped laughing, I typed back we don't do anything for spring break. Probably won't even take it off. The guys are hitting the end of their rope and I'm worried if I let them off for a week, we won't be able to get back into it.

And that's just from me.

There have been days where I'm hiding in my room refusing to come out and we call that parent/teacher conference day. I have been really good this year and haven't hit double digits - yet.

Another possible crazy is the books I got. Someone should wrap me in caution tape and hang a sign around my neck that says, "under construction". Wowzers. I am tackling some serious issues. While I'm sure some are thinking it's about time, but some of these I wasn't even aware of. I got hit between the eyes with a few and I was all 'no, that isn't my issue, I have this, this and that but not THAT!

I bet I'm the only person out there with this problem.

Finding out my issues really do have issues? Priceless.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Clearly I Need To Step Up My Game

Apparently my game of crazy has lost its touch. I know! That statement is truly shocking. Sadly, I am at a loss on how to step it up a notch or 70. I thought I had this crazy train screaming wide open for all it was worth. Maybe not.

I know that I am not the only woman out there that suffers from their husbands lack of attention to conversation, or LOATC, as I am now calling it. I can't count how many times I am talking to my husband and even though he pretends to be part of the conversation, he really isn't. It's like my voice hits a frequency that he can not hear. At first I thought it was some hearing loss but I observed the same thing from his parents.

This does not bode well.

Now it seems my spawn are all picking up this manly trait. I apologize if there are males out there that actually listen but I'm pretty sure that is just an urban myth and they really don't exist.

Judging from my Monday, I'm must be having some PMS issues but it certainly doesn't help when the males of the house all of the sudden stopped hearing my voice and aren't doing what they are told to do. Little things like take out the trash, or go do this or that. I'm getting a lot of "I didn't hear you". Seriously?? I come from a long line of screaming women. When my mom called us, garage doors flew open all over the neighborhood and the dog about flopped over in a seizure. I can bring it when it needs to be brung.

And if you got that - you're my people.

I'm sitting here right now with my left eyelid twitching. It is totally creeping me out. And I can't make it stop. I'm pretty sure if it is left over stress from the day. But it's weird because I didn't think it was all that stressful of a day. Just another same stuff different day.

My eyelid totally disagrees.

We ran a few errands, got the guys shamrock shakes while Hubs and I had frappes, and then I got to finish the grocery list, comb through all the useless coupons I have, and went grocery shopping. Walk in the park.

Have you seen that commercial where the guy walks in the house and proudly sets a can of peas on the table and says peas? The wife looks at him like he's an idiot and says corn and the guy is all like oh corn as he heads back out to the store. That is sort of the story of my life with Hubs.

I have tons of examples where something needs to get done, I remind Hubs, he snips at me and then proceeds to forget some part of the equation thus sealing his 'I are an arse' status, and then I lose it, told I over react only to have this play out all over again with the next thing that needs to be done.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

Like I said, I hope all the evidence points to him for the loss of sanity. And he is infecting my children. Right now I think my eyelid is cussing him out in Morse code or something.

So today we had another example of Dude won't listen and has the memory bank the size of a freckle. Dude went and got all huffy with me and then he proceeded to forget. He also knew I was a bit um, moody and since this was the 3rd thing in a row he didn't listen to, I totally lost it. While I am sitting there - smoke smoldering off my head - the guys all talked about wow, I must be all moody like and asked their dad if he should stop and get me some chocolate so I would chill out. All this was said right in front of me as if I wasn't there and this was their powwow on how to handle mom.

If I make it on the 6 o'clock news - don't be surprised.

I think the frappe was his attempt to buy me off, except it was my idea to begin with. He just agreed to it awfully fast.

I was hoping their stupid would go away because I was having zero luck on getting rid of my crazy. No such luck and what joy, we were off to stuffmart. Normally this would have had disaster written all over it, but the place was really busy and it was all we could do to navigate through the place and grab what we could.

In the middle of all this, Nicholas was picking on Jared the entire time. Once N starts, he doesn't stop. He will push every button the boy has and then when I have to get on N's case, I get the 'you always take his side'. That was every.single.day from the age 11-14. While these days he is no where near that bad and hasn't pulled this one in a long time, it was still the wrong move for him to take.

There I am getting in his face in the frozen food section. It has been a long time since I've had to do that to him. To my absolute shock and horror, I found myself missing the terrible 2 stage. You know why? You can manhandle them at that stage and people expect you to give them a swat on the butt. Can you get away with that with someone taller than you? I'm thinking no.

By this time, I am dragging myself to the checkout lines only to discover the lines where crazy long. I'll give stuffmart credit, they called all hands on deck and had well over 10 lanes open. But there was still a lot of people.

A lot of ugly people.

Trouble with my spawn is, well they act too much like Hubs and I. What were they thinking? They too noticed the extreme amount of ugly going on. Not to mention that the local trend is to go out in public wearing pj bottoms, snow boots, whatever shirt they could find and some type of jacket. All with their hair either pulled back into a ponytail OR shoved under a hat.

High class around these here parts.

While we were standing in line to check out, there was a group of the uglies who were rather loud and well, just ugly with each other. Trapped in line, no where to go someone from our group said, rather loudly, "What, did they have a sale on ugly? Because there are a few too many people that have more than their fair share."

I couldn't tell you what happened after that. I think I blanked out or something. When I came to we were outside chucking the grocery bags in the back of the van like our lives depended on it.

But it seems my special brand of crazy is going to have to go all gangster like to keep this crew in line. Wonder if I can get a padded cell with a window - hope it has a view.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Where I Now Will Weep Uncontrollably

It was a typical Monday. Everything I did could have the why did I even bothered sign pasted right next to it. Cleaned the bathroom - not even 10 minutes later the toilet needs cleaned again. Cleaned the table, wiped it down etc - we're having dinner and all 4 guys had something swan dive off their fork and went ker-splat on the fresh table.

But of course it did.

This was after we got another phone call from dealer that golly gee, we have to come back and sign a few more things. Are you kidding me??? We had the same problem when we got Hubs truck. There was always some snafu where they forgot to have us sign a line or twenty.

So when the freshly scrubbed table was hosed down, I looked at Hubs and said, "and now I will weep uncontrollably." He cracked up laughing for a good 5 minutes. I sat there looking at him and it made him laugh even harder that I wasn't kidding.

Um, okay.

Nice to know my raw emotional state is something of amusement. You know they never find it funny when my head is spinning and making their lives completely miserable. Maybe a little sensitivity at this stage could possibly prevent the going savage stage.

But what would I know?

I guess we get to take another jaunt to go make someone happy and sign a few more lines. I said I better get a mocha frappe out of this or heads will roll. Then to add to this cranky train, it's everyones favorite time - the loading of the carts. Which means I had to chase people down, threaten them with bodily harm to get some dinner suggestions, as well as what is needed for the grocery list.

Yippee Skippy.

And while cooking dinner, Jared informed me several times that he really doesn't like what I'm cooking and wanted to know if he could have something else. I said we're having shut up and eat it or I'll kill you for dinner. I'm not sure if he's bold or stupid because he didn't even miss a beat and said, it's going to be one of those nights, huh?

I'm really hating karma right now.

So the grocery list is partially done, the toilet and the table are re-cleaned, and I am hiding in a corner. Why can't I remember days like this when I'm all Sunrise, Sunset? Shouldn't I be giving myself high-fives that I let them all live another day? You would think.

I think all of this is more than what my brain can handle right now and since I have a full day, I'm going to face drag myself off to bed.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Needless To Say...

The guys and I have been out joyriding running errands. Wednesday the sun was shining. The guys were putting off doing school work as we said about a brazillion times how much we like the van. It took me a few minutes to pick up on they didn't want to do school work and were trying to bombard me with Jedi mind tricks to go run some errands. Me, being the awesome slacker mom that only I can be, suggested we blow off school for the day and go to Sam's club because the chocolate covered raisins where calling to me.

Nothing says love more than a bucket of chocolate covered raisins. That and getting out of algebra.

After they looked at each other in shock with the 'it totally worked look', they raced off and in record speed chores were done and we were on our way to grab the chocolate goodness and a few other must have items.

Ha! I did all that in one sentence. And that was with most of my brain tied behind my back.

So the sun shining, music was playing, we were singing along going down the road. Happy mood was had by all. The happy was upon us and we were happy about that. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be desperate to go run errands and would be happy about it, I would accused you of smoking crack. I'm not even sure what people do with it, but still I would think your senses were a bit wonky.

Humility can cause all types of changes, can't it?

I had to laugh because everyone is now telling me I need to take a road trip to come visit. My mom called last night to see when we would come down for a visit. I said we still need to deal with the tires first before any road trip was to be had. The boys, overhearing this, now want to know why I hate them to do this to them. I said we could either plan a road trip or do extra algebra and that snapped them right back in line.

Truth be told, it's not really my folks I want to see. I know this shocks you horribly. I have a couple older cousins - why yes, I love to point that out to them. Why do you ask? - who I've kept in touch with via email that I would like to see. I haven't seen a couple aunts in while either.

My parents love to travel. And they also fly by the seat of their pants and tend to wing everything. Dad would come home from work and have that squirrely look on his face and look at Mom and they would both said, 'road trip' at the same time.

When the twins were babies, and I was going out of my mind, I would often load them up and head somewhere, anywhere to be around people. Then Hubs car died and we were down to one car, and he worked two jobs. It wasn't a happy time. This led to us moving next to my folks which, oh my cheezers, if I could only turn back time I would so do things differently.

And now I have that song stuck in my head. Great.

But one thing I was reflecting on as we drove back home. Sitting in that van, it just felt like a huge step forward. Life has been on the downhill slide of a lot of junk and for a long time. There have been a couple things we're doing different and it just seems like we are now on a different path - a light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully there isn't a train attached to it. The last year has been just letting go and it felt like letting go of everything. As in I was wrestled to the mat and my fingers were slowly pried off.

I'm not sure if it was just wrong place, wrong time, wrong people or what but there was a whole lot of wrong and zilch on the right. For the last few months it seems like we've had growth and it was so tender and new we didn't want anyone around it to harm it. Dare I say, we were starting to hope again. As that hope continues to grow, I can tell I've had more confidence in God, Hubs, and even myself.

I told Hubs it really does feel like coming out of a grave. Everything around us was dead. Finally, FINALLY feels like newness and life is rattling the old bones.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Oh The Happy!

When we last left our heroine she was on the brink of freedom. Just in time for all the gas price hikes. Trying to not let that get her down, she presses forward. The epic tale of getting a vehicle after a bankruptcy has been a challenge. Picture her fluffy self jumping through hoop after hoop. Now picture the hoops on fire.

I guess laws have changed regarding how a person after bankruptcy can be treated. Bend over and grasp ankles is pretty close. You would think after this experience we would have gotten a clue. You would be wrong. Actually,
I didn't get the clue. Hubby did and has rolled with the punches. I got him to look at mini vans because it's more in the price range. We found one and was able to put a nice down payment on it and got a small loan.

For you normal people, you see a price and go get financed for it. We get a screw you fee. They add a percentage, I think like 36% of the loan price which gets added to the price of the vehicle and then you get charged a high interest on the whole loan.

I don't have kiwis but if I did, they would feel rather bruised right now.

We got all our ducks in a row - so we thought - got up there and got the gosh oh gee, don't think so on that van. My inner Cruella DeVil showed up and did some 'splaining how it was going to go down. Miracle of miracles, they made it work. Then when we showed up to get the van, they said no because they didn't have our proof of insurance. I know our guy sent it. I had a mild attack of 'don't make me rip your lower lip over your head' and the guy checked his fax machine only to discover that something was received but he was out of toner - and their entire office was out of that particular toner.

Are you kidding me??

I think when my head had twisted a full 3 rotations is when the guy said go ahead and just have him re-fax it tomorrow. I'm still cheesed off because he was supposed to copy that and give us a copy of insurance until we get the stuff in the mail. So now I have no proof of insurance yet and Hubs already said to wait a few days before I go out joy riding. But at least I got to take the van home so I'll let these men live. We're still getting slightly screwed but you have to start rebuilding at some point.

Ah, rebuilding. Now there is a topic God and I have been having some interesting chats on. I already know I got a booty stomp coming from a couple books I ordered. I tried to slide right past it but God saw what I was doing and then had Hubs suggested the same books I was trying to avoid.

Yeah. Thanks dear.

But back to the Joanna mobile.

I stopped counting how many times the guys said how nice it is on the way home. There are a few things we need to take care of. It needs new tires on the front and needs a new side mirror. I was sort of bummed that the power door wasn't working and neither was the radio. We got home and Hubby changed the fuse and all the bells and whistle on this thing now work. Holla!

So this is turning into a very good week. I got a feeling the boys are going to start inventing errands for us to run. We keep having these sunny days and I may go right along with it. Especially since the shamrock shakes are now at McDs.