The guys and I have been out
joyriding running errands. Wednesday the sun was shining. The guys were putting off doing school work as we said about a brazillion times how much we like the van. It took me a few minutes to pick up on they didn't want to do school work and were trying to bombard me with Jedi mind tricks to go run some errands. Me, being the awesome slacker mom that only I can be, suggested we blow off school for the day and go to Sam's club because the chocolate covered raisins where calling to me.
Nothing says love more than a bucket of chocolate covered raisins. That and getting out of algebra.
After they looked at each other in shock with the 'it totally worked look', they raced off and in record speed chores were done and we were on our way to grab the chocolate goodness and a few other must have items.
Ha! I did all that in one sentence. And that was with most of my brain tied behind my back.
So the sun shining, music was playing, we were singing along going down the road. Happy mood was had by all. The happy was upon us and we were happy about that. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be desperate to go run errands and would be happy about it, I would accused you of smoking crack. I'm not even sure what people do with it, but still I would think your senses were a bit wonky.
Humility can cause all types of changes, can't it?
I had to laugh because everyone is now telling me I need to take a road trip to come visit. My mom called last night to see when we would come down for a visit. I said we still need to deal with the tires first before any road trip was to be had. The boys, overhearing this, now want to know why I hate them to do this to them. I said we could either plan a road trip or do extra algebra and that snapped them right back in line.
Truth be told, it's not really my folks I want to see. I know this shocks you horribly. I have a couple older cousins - why yes, I love to point that out to them. Why do you ask? - who I've kept in touch with via email that I would like to see. I haven't seen a couple aunts in while either.
My parents love to travel. And they also fly by the seat of their pants and tend to wing everything. Dad would come home from work and have that squirrely look on his face and look at Mom and they would both said, 'road trip' at the same time.
When the twins were babies, and I was going out of my mind, I would often load them up and head somewhere, anywhere to be around people. Then Hubs car died and we were down to one car, and he worked two jobs. It wasn't a happy time. This led to us moving next to my folks which, oh my cheezers, if I could only turn back time I would so do things differently.
And now I have that song stuck in my head. Great.
But one thing I was reflecting on as we drove back home. Sitting in that van, it just felt like a huge step forward. Life has been on the downhill slide of a lot of junk and for a long time. There have been a couple things we're doing different and it just seems like we are now on a different path - a light at the end of the tunnel. Thankfully there isn't a train attached to it. The last year has been just letting go and it felt like letting go of everything. As in I was wrestled to the mat and my fingers were slowly pried off.
I'm not sure if it was just wrong place, wrong time, wrong people or what but there was a whole lot of wrong and zilch on the right. For the last few months it seems like we've had growth and it was so tender and new we didn't want anyone around it to harm it. Dare I say, we were starting to hope again. As that hope continues to grow, I can tell I've had more confidence in God, Hubs, and even myself.
I told Hubs it really does feel like coming out of a grave. Everything around us was dead. Finally, FINALLY feels like newness and life is rattling the old bones.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
The guys and I have been out