Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Totally Forgot To Blog Last Night

While my 2 readers were crushed, the rest, I'm sure, could care less. I mean, I didn't even care cuz I totally forgot. Besides it's rather dull to write about getting all the ironing done and I gave the guys hair cuts. Stellar stuff.

I'm sure you were hanging on the edge of your desk.

Probably not.

So I'm thinking I'm going to totally break the rules and just blog about some stuff that has been going on of late.

Hubby is doing an online course to be a certified pharmacists technician. I am so proud of him! He only has 6 lessons left and then the big test to get certified. He's hoping to work in a hospital because he's hoping to get into the lab stuff. That and he can't stand people so the thought of working at the local pharmacy gives him the willies. He said his dream job would be an IV room because you aren't supposed to talk and have to work in a closed off environment. Only him!

But he's holding a 98% and is 4 1/2 months ahead of schedule! He is totally kicking butt. We laugh because we always know when he aced a test as he comes out and does this goofy dance. Which he will totally deny doing if anyone were to ask him.

The funny thing is he started off in college doing a lot of biology and lab stuff. To say dude has come full circle is rather funny. But he keeps telling me to cork it when I mention that a time or 453 brazillion times.

However, this needs to stay off facebook as I'm friends with his boss' wife and dude is not ready to relay this info just yet. If they hear it through that grapevine, I would be toast. Burnt toast. That is so not Hubs' style. I told him I was going to write this post because I am beyond proud of him. I got the look.

I'm sure both readers are wondering why he started on this path but ended up in construction. According to him, he was not on a good path spiritually and he got his heart broken by a girl so left the whole thing and ended up at a Christian college where he met me.

His dad still blames me for ruining his son's life, btw.

Toss in the fact I got pregnant with twins the first year we were married, sort of makes career shopping down to holy crap we need diapers!! This led to a lot of odd jobs. Before twins were on the way, we took advice from my folks and long story short, it bit us in the butt that took years to fix.


Something both Hubby and I are still slightly bitter over. Why we even look at my parents is something I can not explain. So far, I'm thinking I would like to avoid hell and I'm working on as many brownie points as I can get.

Fast forward to a couple years ago and it is rather clear plastering is coming to an end. Most of the jobs have either been patch jobs or stucco work. Stucco work depends on the weather which means not steady work.

After the Herbalife fiasco that I so said was a bad idea but what the hell do I know, Hubs was forced to move in a different direction. I would like to point out that God never told him to do squat but left a lot up to Hubs to choose. Makes for one nervous, hand-wringing wife. Hubby likes to joke that God kicks him in the head to get his attention. I don't think it's a joke any more and have offered to help God by grabbing dude by his lower lip and pulling it over his head.

Still waiting on that go-ahead from above. Pretty safe to bet, I'm not going to get it.

The hard part is there are so many variables that it makes the head spin. That is something that God has been working on me is to trust that He has it all worked out. Hubs lesson was to trust the work God was doing in him and mine was to trust God period!

When we went camping last year, I had gone off on God about time frame. Hubs is so far ahead and still not knowing what's going on with the house - the timing of it all just feels like God's hands have been all over it. Why yes, I have had several servings of humble pie - do I still have some in my teeth?

So when I feel all the what ifs and what next creep in, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I trust God and His timing. Keeps the hand-wringing to a minimum. Turns out you really can trust God. Who knew? Hasn't been fun to go through but He is still there - doing something all mystical and secretive. And probably laughing that I'm stomping my foot at being kept in the dark over it all.

We know that this is our ticket out of this state. Yet another lesson on chill out, it'll all come together. The weird part, as well as the painful part, is watching how every door and every relationship has come to a close like instantly and a few of them for no real reason. One day you think everything is fine, the next it turns out you were wrong and bam, done.

I have had several people in the last few months that I hear nothing from suddenly need me to watch their kids. A lot of homeschoolers, especially with older kids, get hit with "your days are free so will you...." It is the on-going juggling act of learning to balance it all. As I've mentioned, I can't juggle. No matter how many times I explain the guys have school work and baby-sitting won't work, I'm suddenly the bad guy. And you can tell that there goes another relationship.

I get so frustrated that when demands are made on my time and if I can't, I'm the jerk. And I've had this happen back to back with people. I told Hubs I don't think I should answer the phone any more as nothing I say makes it better. I can count on one hand the people that are still talking to us. If we had an emergency, we would be hard pressed to find someone to call.

Pretty flipping sad.

I ran into a lady that said we had so much to offer and not to close ourselves off to people. I told her it certainly wasn't planned. Not much you can do when people kick you to the curb.

Add insult to injury, this goes through family grapevine and suddenly I have all kinds of emails of articles about the horrors of not being connected to a church and the danger of isolation. All of them I am aware of. Again, not much we can do when our "church" kicks us to the curb for not puckering up and kissing someone's ego.

After a lot of church shopping and finding zilch, this has left a lot of spending time with Jesus and having Him heal some wounds. Which would take a whole other blog post!

It took a lot to come out of my shell to be around people when I first started this blog. I was already the walking wounded so it was hard to let people back in. I have been rewarded with a lot of pain and a lot of why did I even bother? They say a death by a thousand cuts and when you are on cut number 832 that much blood in the water around that many sharks makes one nervous. Which is me.

I'm still getting a lot of coming out of the grave stuff. I even got Joanna Weaver's new book on the same subject. As I've blogged before, I've been hanging on to too many dead things. I still have a few other books to tackle before I even get to this one but again, all in that timing.

Love it when a plan comes together! Just wish it didn't take so darn long.


Kerri said...

I hope you know you can always call us in an emergency. We will be here!

grandmamargie said...

James 1:3-7 (King James Version)

3Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

4But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

Patience in this verse simply means endurance and perseverance, you will be ok.

Tell Hubbs congratulations and hope his current boss doesn't hear about his endeavors.

Joanna said...

Kerri - you are the only one on the list to call! hee hee

Margie - thanks! :)

valb said...

It has been a while since I browsed by your blog. I see and read sprititual growth in what you write. Keep on keeping on and trusting the One who knows all.

Oh, and that, "since you are home," thing applies to moms at home, too. Learning to say "no" is not a crime, in spite of how they make you feel. It's their problem, not yours.
Find a good church for the fellowship if you feel let down by your old one.
Maybe the breaking of these connections is a way of getting ready for the Lord to move you?
Just some thoughts.

Joanna said...

Valb - thanks! I agree that we are getting geared up for a move. Just would like more details.