Oh the emotions! They are all over the place. While this is nothing new - this set of emotions is.
I stayed up to watch the royal wedding. I made it until 7:30 am and then went to bed and passed out cold. The only thing that woke me was Jared asking for lunch. All part of my securing that bad parenting award.
Not entirely true but when you have older kids you don't have to wait on them as much. Or maybe you are and I'm just taking slacker to a whole new level? I can't say as I really care.
The wedding was beautiful and there is so much hope riding on those two that you can't help but with them Godspeed and good luck. All leading up to the royal wedding I couldn't help but think of Diana. Then to pass the time away until the wedding started, I think I watch every show on the whole royals. I have dubbed Charles and Camilla, Sir Chuck and Lady Horse Blanket. And my reasons are because Charles never really protected Diana and Camilla stole a lot from Diana. And now that Lady Di is gone, Lady Horse Blanket is now wearing a lot of Lady Di's jewels.
What's the British term for that's just cold and wrong?
Get your own set of jewels and tweak them like Diana did instead of just pilfering hers! I'm sure there are a lot to choose from for crying out loud. I don't see the Queen Mum selling off a few trinkets in this slumping economy. Just shows Camilla has no creativeness of her own - just takes from others.
And it's after I made a statement like that that I realized I watched too much TV. Especially when I had weird royal dreams. I woke up expecting my maid to bring my tiara. What can I say? My issues have issues.
Then I caught the rest of the news and it was weird going from royal elegance to tornado devastation. There are no words that can even come close to expressing all the emotions watching that. That so messes with your head, btw. Or maybe it was just my head it messed with. I was almost a complete puddle of tears but one of the boys grabbed the remote, turned off the TV, handed me a box of Kleenex to try and mop myself up, and reminded me we had stuff to do.
The older guys went backpacking and Jared and I wished them well while shaking our heads they are crazy. J and I ran some errands and then we went out to Fridays for dinner. He mentioned his birthday is in a week and the waitresses all oohed and aahed over him. Dude totally ate that up with a spoon. You would think he never has any attention paid to him the way he was acting. As if.
We then went to see Hoodwinked 2. I will pause to say I really liked Hoodwinked 1. It was funny and snarky - these are both favorite elements for me. Hoodwinked 2 was 3D and since I drew the short straw, I took Jared to see it.
I will miss that time I will never get back.
It was awful! Graphics were old school 3D, story line was beyond lame, and I give it 2 thumbs down with a wooden mallet to knock yourself out with. Jared loved it. Personally, I think it's because he was jacked up on cotton candy and a frozen coke.
I told you, I am going all out for that award.
So when we got home, jacked up on serious sugar boy didn't want to go to bed. I played a little bit of Star Wars Legos with him but he quickly decided he wanted to watch another movie. I was all for this and he popped in X-Men 3. Whoopee.
How I didn't pass out on the couch is still a mystery.
When that was done, I dragged dude off to bed and then proceeded to pass out. I will say that I was beyond happy to have the bed to myself. I think Hubby has crossed the line of snuggling to holding me down so I don't escape. And for some reason he keeps trying to hog my pillow. Granted I sleep with 3 but they are mine. So I slept great! Until Jared woke me up to ask if he could see what was on TV.
If I wasn't so out of it, I would have slapped him with my slipper.
Actually, he wanted me to get up and at it because I had said I MIGHT take him to Subway for lunch. Totally forgot that kids read might as a yes. At least Jared does. I don't think I've slapped him with enough slippers.
We just got done eating right as the guys got home. I hear fun was had by all. All except me but this is the price one pays when they don't own a tiara. At least I didn't have to cook so there was some fun to be had.
Except now I have camping laundry to do on top of the regular stuff, we have to grocery shop this week, AND the in-laws are coming in for a landing.
Where is that friggin tiara and the royal staff when I need it???
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Oh the emotions! They are all over the place. While this is nothing new - this set of emotions is.
Friday, April 29, 2011
I was going to blog yesterday but with all the storms, our Internet connection was acting up and slowed it all down to the point that I was ready to toss the computer right out the window.
So here I am hunkered down with yet another round of I don't sleep like normal people and have decided to put it to good use and watch the royal wedding. While the rest of the normal sleeping people will watch it on their DVR (that we don't have) I will already have seen it - live.
So nanner nanner.
I do have to say I'm surprised I am still up. The drama was at an all time high around here. The guys are done with algebra but it was a brutal week. Nicholas was overjoyed and sort of slammed his brother on facebook. Michael was seething and words were had. They made a great team with their math this year. Nicholas wanted to get it over with while Michael dragged his feet, his caution caught mistakes that speedy didn't.
Needless to say, I need some girly fluff to veg out with.
After we watched idol, (wished Casey would have lasted a few more weeks) and then Bones, I watched a lot of shows about Lady Diana and her dresses and jewels. I can't help think about her and not being there for her son's big day. Watching all these shows of Lady Di makes me reaffirm my opinion that Charles is still a tool bag and Camilla is horse blanket.
Found something out I didn't know - the Queen can't say, "Charles you're a tool bag, so you can't be king - here ya go Wills." Basically the Brits are stuck with Sir Chuck as king whether they want him or not. What's the deal with that? The Queen can't pick who to pass the crown on to I think is wrong, but then again I guess having her son and his horse blanket beheaded probably wouldn't go over too well.
I also have reason to watch all this live. We are going to busy and I really won't have time to watch all the recaps. The older guys and Hubs are going backpacking this weekend and Jared and I are still in a rock, paper, scissors discussion on what all we are going to be doing.
Again, need some girly fluff because hanging out with Jared there will be no girly nor fluff to be had. Probably a burp off is in my future which is preferred over a fart off.
I can tell you are envious. Or not.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
And are trying to drown me. Not really but we'll just go with it.
In keeping with the holy fershiznit that has been the last few weeks, we got a tax bill for Hubs
epic failure of a business that his wife begged him not to do no longer business. Nothing like ripping open a painful reminder to see a ginormous screw you bill attached to it.
Once Hubby picked me up off the floor, he said that someone or something didn't get the right form blah, blah - I blanked out. After I stopped glaring at him, and he had a moment to spare, he got to call like 1500 different numbers. Once he got a hold of someone, sure enough, they didn't get the form that he already filled out and mailed back in like October but who's counting? You know, besides me?
After repeated reassurances that it's fine and all worked out, I let him lived. Gosh, I'm such a supportive wife, right? RIGHT??
It wasn't really THAT bad but if I'm going to air these little things that most normal people keep to themselves, I might as well jazz it up a bit.
And in a sad attempt to keep with the title of water and head - Jared seems to be having issues with his 2 in 1 shampoo conditioner. I was walking by him and noticed he had huge flakes in his hair. On further inspection you could see that he wasn't getting all of it fully rinsed out of his thick carpet like hair so it dried and was flaking off.
And I thought I was the flake. Ba-dum-bum!
The boy has some serious thick hair. We have to keep his hair buzzed because remember Zoolander? I'm pretty sure if I let the boy's hair grow out a bit more he would so have that look.
"One look? I'll show you one look!"
Sorry! Couldn't resist.
I dragged him to the sink and hosed his head down. No joke - for 10 minutes his hair just foamed out soap bubbles. After rinsing out about a year's worth of soap, I used different shampoo on him and now his hair is soft and totally fluffy. So fluffy that it is borderline Zoolander-ish. He kept saying his head didn't feel so itchy now.
Geez, ya think??
What is the deal with shampoos turning all rogue? The twins had the same problem with theirs about a month ago. They have dandruff with oily hair - a gift from their dad as he has the same combo - and we've tried every brand out there. Finally found one that works but sheesh what a pain.
First the lack of keeping the blankets clean, now flakey hair issues - I so have that worst mother of the year award in the bag!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
That ALL my posts are horribly random. There is no connection. I just sort of blather on and on. Suddenly the lack of blog traffic makes total sense. Who wants to watch the painful unravel of....hey, found some chocolate.
Where was I?
My get up and go finally came back. I sort of regretted it because I needed to tackle the guys' bedding. Every now and then I get hit with a thought, like, 'when was the last time I washed that?' You just know it's going to go downhill from there. Especially when you have to try really hard to remember. How I kept the gagging under wraps is still a mystery. But after many hours, the stench is gone. The guys were so happy and when I asked why no one said anything, all I got was the typical guy response of I dunno know.
I did take this epic laundry battle right down to the wire. Someone got a fresh hot comforter as they were going off to bed. Minor detail. While I was waiting on the washing machine, I sort of zoned out with TV. I am loving watching Dancing With The Stars to watch Kirstie Alley slim away every week. But after that, all that was on was nothing but coverage of the upcoming royal wedding.
I am still debating if I'm going to get up and watch it live or just stay up and watch it and then pass out for the rest of the day. Decisions, decisions. But I took some serious razzing from the guys. I guess this means all those hints for a tiara for Mother's Day is not going to get filled.
Pity. But then again, I tend to rule with an iron fist. The tiara would just blind them with all the bling and then they wouldn't see it coming. I'm not even that cruel.
Speaking of cruel, finally realized why all the crazy weeping and crying - turns out aunt flow shows up every month. Who knew? Maybe this time she'll be nicer because I am almost out of Peanut Butter Eggs.
Over the weekend I had to color by hair. To keep the illusion of Sassy - my gray roots need to be kept on top of or it sort of gives it all away. I tried Clairol's new foam stuff. While the color went darker than what I wanted, this has been the best coverage I've had. Totally covered the gray all the way down to my head. Nice N' Easy never did that!
(I'm not being paid for that - just my opinion. Although I am so for sale and can be paid off with coupons.)
I have no idea why I tossed that out there but I could really use some coupons. The price of air is going up. Who can afford to breathe now days? I was glad we ended up eating leftovers for dinner. All I could think was that was another meal saved. I told the guys I don't want to buy a whole lot of stuff next grocery trip. For whatever reason, my FIL likes to raid our pantry. I'm trying not to be honked off about it or to booby-trap the pantry. We are on the countdown to J's b-day which means a trip from the in-laws.
Crickets daring each other to chirp first
This also means that I have to perform some magic trick to feed everyone. Right off the bat Jared picked a meal I KNOW my MIL will not eat. I also know if I don't have something for her to eat, she'll flip. But I also know that no matter what I offer she will refuse to eat it anyway.
Welcome to my
Just on edge lately. Things haven't been that great. Have to battle with unemployment crap. Hubs is sort of laid off, sort of not as it varies week by week and that screws up the unemployment. We tried to get food assistance 6 months ago and we STILL haven't heard jack from them. No amount of calls, emails, or any type of inquiry has solved the issue. All they tell us is it's pending.
And people wonder why I hate this state.
Toss in the killer man-eating cramps, and it just makes for a festive mood. I know it will all work out but wished it wasn't something that has to get worked out. Good thing I got some back up chocolate.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Pooh! I had a blog post rolling around in my head but after I got done playing around with the blog background and what have you - I am blanking out.
We had a good Easter. Ate food, played games, and had fun. I had playing in the background a bunch of random worship CDs and it was funny because it sort of turned into a Name That Tune game. We played Risk and I was the first one blown off the map. Didn't hurt my feelings at all.
Need to get at a few things but my get up and go got up and went. Darn Monday! It is totally messing with my head.
Friday, April 22, 2011
I will try not to ramble on and on and on...and on..like I normally do. When I post random stuff, I get the feeling y'all sort of drift into a coma as your eyes roll back into your head. You think it's bad reading? Try having to hear all this in person.
Although I hear I'm quite animated when I talk so maybe that's the charm.
Randomness squished into paragraphs because I can't make if flow together.
1. Very happy Stefano is no mo on American Idol. I predict Jacob will be gone next week. I'm making this guess from the comments I've been reading all over this here Internet thing. Although I was awwing for James as he was in tears over the whole thing.
2. Dancing With The Stars is sort of confusing me because the people that get the highest scores from the judges seem to end up in the bottom 3. Not sure what that is all about and I have given up trying to figure out who will win.
3. We only have 1 week left of the dreaded algebra. There is much rejoicing in the land. But there is still a few more weeks of biology and 2 weeks of history. Everything else is done. Not graded yet but at least it's done. J will just be done when I say done which I'll make him go until his brothers are done.
Very proud of the guys! After all the stress and fights of years past, this year it has clicked. Nicholas has been huge on get r done! Michael would have done better if he could have overlooked his deep loathing of algebra. Jared totally improved by huge leaps. He brought all subjects up but his biggest struggle is still spelling which has bit him in the butt on a lot of stuff but he has come a long way!
They did really well and we are all looking forward to being done. It also helped that since we had nothing going on that there wasn't any distractions. I could go on and on about pressing through and running this race with endurance but I'll leave that for another post.
4. Ended up hitting Sam's Club. Got Dekker's new book for $10 and snagged Baldacci's new one. I bet Hubby will be done with both books by Saturday night. He reads super fast and I'm trying not to be envious of his abilities. Dude's superpower is being really smart and mine is being really sarcastic. Now how is that fair, I ask you?
But while at Sam's, a huge bucket of sort of like Jelly Bellies dove into my cart along with chocolate covered raisins. I thought with the guys totally distracted with hitting up all the sample carts it would go unnoticed but I was wrong. I'm not sure how long either container will last.
5. I have to do some serious cleaning. My Friday is going to spent folding baskets of laundry, putting them away, finishing the ironing because it has been mentioned a time or 50 that I've let that slide all week. Thankfully Hubs came to my defense and told the boys if they have a problem with it they could iron their own clothes.
Funny how that shut them up.
Once I'm done with that the kitchen needs a major cleaning. Every cookie sheet is dirty and I think I may have to run the dishwasher twice. Here's to hoping I get it all done Friday.
6. Haven't heard anything from my folks. Heard through the grapevine they are ticked off because Hubs got a bit snarky with them last time which is now something I want him to repeat. This means we are safe for Easter. The guys are doing the happy dance.
7. I have decided to pull the plug on all things this Sunday for the day. Celebration is what we are focusing on. Music, food, a bible study, and playing some games with the guys are what we have planned. But there will be no TV or them playing music - I want some quiet in the house and for us to focus on Jesus and His victory.
This last year with no distractions going on has been interesting. We've all pulled closer to God and have had the time to deal with those pesky issues that are so easy to sweep under the rug or just flat out ignore. I know I get easily distracted and this has been both good and painful to just sit and be still and to know that He is God. More stuff for a later post.
I just realized that this ended up being a lot longer than what I had intended. So much for me not rambling!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Oh Interpeeps! I would have wrote this yesterday but part of the whole 'I survived' was we had some n-a-s-t-y storms that blew through. All of it decided to show up while we were driving home from stuffmart and then hauling in all the groceries.
I'll leave off that I make the guys do it. What's the point of having this many guys if not to make them haul in all the food they inhale, I ask you?
I will back up and say it is truly God's grace that we made it out of the wally world alive. The place was packed! It was a nightmare to get our band of carts down every aisle. There were a few that we had to abandon the carts just to wade through the peoples to try and get the goods. I'm pretty sure if that lady will rest today and keep her leg elevated the swelling will go down.
All I can tell you is if you don't have your Easter stuff gathered, you may be screwed.
I'm blaming Jubilee for the mentioning of peanut butter eggs. Once it was out there it sort of stalked me. And after that emotional meltdown that I still have no idea what it was all about, I felt it would be wise to have something comforting like PB and chocolate on hand to sooth the savage beast if it rose again.
The trouble with this is that everyone else had their own reasons for snagging the PB goodness. There was a band of women that were bent on getting most, if not all, of the chocolate in the store. One gal made sure to block the aisle so her partners in crime could grab what they could.
Now these ladies were a bit scary looking. I had to ask myself if I really wanted to go toe to toe with a woman who had her lip, eyebrow, nose, and both ears repeatedly pierced. Not to mention most of her skin was covered in ink. Clearly this woman did not have a problem with pain so a little cart bump was not going to move her.
And I was pretty sure she would stomp all over me if I tried it.
I sat there in a near panic as these women were going ape on the chocolate while Attila the Hun stood guard giving me the stink eye. So I did what I always resort to in case of emergency - I made Hubby go in after it. Attila was so busy keeping me and a little old lady out of the way that she didn't even notice Hubs. Probably because he didn't bother with a cart while granny and I were trying to jockey for position with our carts.
Dude was triumphant but could only get a few. We later found out that all the Easter candy was marked down and that people waited for the last second to score on the deal. Makes sense and I will be sure to invest in steal toe boots and a baton for next year.
Luckily for us, stuffmart had a bunch of fancy shmancy chocolate on clearance near the dairy. $1 for a $4 bag of chocolate? Why yes, thank you. So we are locked and loaded for either Easter and/or emotional meltdowns.
But wait, there's more.
It seems like other things were picked clean. Things like laundry soap. The twins have had skin issues from day one and it is laundry soap free all the way. I like ALL because it works and it's not as expensive. When you calculate all the laundry I do, I like to save some moolah any chance I can get. So I was a bit miffed that the ginormous one with the spigot was all (snort) gone. We had to get the next size down. I was not happy because I spent almost the same amount but got a lot less product.
Did I mention the place was packed out?
"Good stuff, Greg" (Snapple commercial)
Then the painful part - paying for it. It was almost a record high. I almost burst into tears. I can't say that I was totally surprised with getting a ham and realizing I was out of just about everything. I even used a lot of coupons but it was still painful. When we were done and trekked out to the van, I had to inform Hubby that we needed to head down a ways to Meijer as some key ingredients were not at Wal-Mart. I'll leave out his level of happiness upon hearing this news especially after the amount of money we just spent.
I think I'll wait till later to tell him I need to go to Sam's Club too.
I'm not sure what he expects actually. We still haven't gotten the unemployment check which sad to say, is normal and just more hoops to hop through.
Say that five times real fast.
Work is still all over the place and I usually take us down to not much in the house because I have no idea when or how much the check is going to be. Suddenly the extra gray hair is really making sense now. I've been getting pretty good at using up what we have. There is no stock pile here but makes for a killer loading of the carts.
When it was all said and done - we were all tired. It was driving home that the storm decided to show up. It was more the wind and lightning that were pretty nasty but once we got everything into the house is when it poured down raining. The power had gone out while we were gone but the street lights and all the outside lights kept going off and then back on. Needless to say, I stay off the computer. Anytime we have flickers, it kills our Internet connection and it takes a while to get it back.
I'm not going anywhere today as I have a lot of laundry to deal with but at least I have chocolate. I will survive!
Monday, April 18, 2011
I watched DWTS - thought Kirstie looked amazing - and someone made a play for the remote. You would think I have pulled enough crazy that no one would mess around with something I wanted to watch.
You would think wrong.
Which amazes me because when I was growing up, being the youngest, it was a freaking miracle if I got to watch what I wanted on TV. While I don't hog the TV, unlike
I will part with the control of the remote for this...this...utopia moment.
Case in point, while I was trying to watch DWTS, the lights were doing the mamba. I have no idea what Jared was doing upstairs to make it sway and dance but this is rather normal and happens all the time. I would yell up there to knock it off, because God forbid I actually get up off my duff to scream in person, but I think he wouldn't be able to hear me as Michael is jamming out on his guitar which is closer to the stairway.
And Hubby doesn't understand why I keep asking for those special headphones that blocks out noise.
Having boys is just a lot of loud noise, all the time. Someone is always banging on something, singing for all they are worth, or cranking their music or playing music as loud as they can. It is non-stop noise. I know this is why I stay up so late because oh my word, the quiet!!! It is sublime.
So taking all that in, I'm not sure why I tend to just keep the TV on at night. Nothing is on, something might come on in a while, so I'll leave the room and go surf the web, play yet another facebook game or try to write a blog post. If I do all this in the room with the TV - I usually come up with squat for a blog post. Hence the lack of posting yesterday.
Chalk it up to another sign of the crazy.
Although I am still disturbed by this show Extreme Coupons or whatever it is. A facebook friend said it's just another form of hoarding. I am amazed that they are able to get $1,000 worth of groceries for $12 but I really question the need for 67 jars of mustard. One guy had 450 tubes of toothpaste. He at least donates some of it to charity but oh my freaking word people!!
We were discussing some of this at dinner and Michael brought up that there is scripture that says about the guy who stored up so much food that he took down his old storage (how much did that cost?) and then build bigger storage. The guy died before he could enjoy any of it. Just screams of irony.
My Mom went bazerk about the whole Y2K. I'm sure that tid bit of info just shocked you, didn't it? I knew they had stuff saved for a rainy day or if things where tight. I see no harm in that but I didn't realize how bad it was. While my folks were staying at Club Fed, we used what was edible but the majority of it was junk. Stuff was way past the expiration dates. Half the toilet paper supply got raided by mice. You know that has got to be some new type of redneck to have already been used toilet paper before it's even open.
Needless to say, that stuff got left behind.
I will say that is one huge bonus for getting foreclosed on - you can leave the junk behind that you don't want. It's not like you are selling your home and everything must go, you are getting forced to leave and a lot of times it is under the gun to get out. Stuff will be left behind.
That was something that really overwhelmed me about some of the junk with my folks. There was so much stuff to go through and I had no idea what to take and what to leave behind. And there was no way all of it was moving with us. I still shudder at some of those memories and I try to cram them as far back in my brain as I can.
And that is a challenge!
Just forgetting something doesn't happen with me. It's rather creepy on how well my memory is. I'm not sure if it's a gift or not. Hubs says I'm a freak of nature and that no one remembers the stuff I do. Personally, I think that's his excuse as he can't remember anything. Naturally, with his weak remembering skills he's going to think I have a gift which now explains why he sometimes gives me the "gifted" salute.
I will now make a mental note to get back at him in some form that makes no sense but I will feel that justice has been served.
I now feel like I got a defunk super power. Can I remember everything we need from the store and not use a list? Heck no! Stupendous Girl! Able to remember everything that happened in the past but can't seem to do much in the present. Her future looks bleak.
(I just cracked myself up with that one.)
Friday, April 15, 2011
Sounds like the making of a really good drama. Oh wait, for me it's same crap different day. Never mind!
So Hubby came home yesterday to find me hiding under the table talking to the dust bunnies. He should be glad that he found me in THAT state verses what I was like earlier. I have no excuse or reason why the hormone fairy slapped me upside the head and said, 'tag, you're it.'
I found the biggest hurkin pill of evening primrose oil I could find and gulped it down. Half an hour later I was starting to unclench my fists. I think Hubs is right - all men should carry some on their persons labeled "in case of emergency". If it's followed up with chocolate I'm not as offended by his suggestion. But I already had some and he did express his thanks.
I am now terrified of menopause.
If I'm this whacked out now, what do my 40s hold? What about 50?
My MIL used to carry around papers proving she was nuts and bragged about what crimes she could commit and get away with. My mom had a hysterectomy in her early 40s and went instant crazy. One of her sisters was legend to be, and I quote, "meaner than a snake." My oldest cousin scarred me last time I saw her when she hike up her skirt, rip open her blouse and started fanning like there was no tomorrow. And she has always been the prim and proper one!
I felt really out of control and it sort of freaked me out. I'm now going to vote for whatever woman runs for office. PMS should so be a legal excuse - she could wipe out a country and just shrug and said it was that time of the month and everyone would totally understand. She wouldn't wait until the last day to settle something. Totally kick down the door to the Senate, hair a little wonky, a ring of chocolate around her mouth, and she gets down to biz-ness.
It will either fix our country or put the finishing nails in the coffin.
I bet she would enact a National Day of Chocolate and demand Hershey to get their butts back in the USA and start making choc-olate the good old fashion way - HERE! I would have to think with gas prices the way they are it would be cheaper to make it here rather than get stuck with all those shipping charges.
But what would I know?
Today I'm not as whacked out. I started the day off with another pill. One of the boys asked if that was my magic pill. I said yes, it magically keeps me from killing all of you.
They've been super sweet to me all day for some reason. Muwahaha!
Although Hubs is in a dilemma now but doesn't know it yet. He can either cook dinner, bring dinner home or take us out. The choice is totally up to him. But since we are STILL waiting on stupid unemployment, I'm thinking he will be cooking.
The only down side is he tends to trash the kitchen when he cooks. I'm not sure even he can trash it more than what it is. It has gotten away from me this week for some odd reason. I guess when you are sitting under a table talking to dust bunnies the dishwasher doesn't magically fill up and run itself.
I hear there is a nerf war being planned this weekend. I totally blackmailed Nicholas with some new music and my evil plan is now working. The funny part is he can't even complain even though he sort of wants to. He keeps saying how much he really appreciated the CD and I just smile at him and he says, 'yeah, I know'.
Hope y'all have a good weekend and lots of chocolate.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
I just wrote 3 blog post, deleted all 3 of them, wrote 2 more and I'm about to delete those. Then I burst into tears for no apparent reason. Almost deleted the blog - twice. Not a good day. And I have no.idea.why.
Houston, we have a problem.
Think I'll just step away from the computer before I do something I may regret.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I was totally going to do this post earlier but, um, I sort of forgot. But yesterday's post about Brenda reminded me.
As I said, I've known Brenda for years. Once upon a time we all went to the same church. Really hate it when you lose touch with people when no one goes to the same church any more. I'll spare the whole angst of it all and why does that always happen rant.
So back to Brenda...
A few months ago she started posting something about wrapping on facebook and how it was tightening up skin. As a person stuffed with too much fluff and having twins, my skin is shot. Don't let that picture fool you. You're not seeing what is below the neck. My butt has knocked over my children! Of course, that's been years but clearly I'm still traumatized from the whole ordeal.
I emailed Brenda and was all hobbity-hoobity-wrappy-what? Once she stopped laughing at me, she sent me a link to the whole thing which I will do so now for you right here.
Something that would tighten up skin??? Sign me up baby! So I had Brenda come over and I got to try it for $25. I had her wrap my muffin top because hello? I am not a fan of it. You have to leave this thing on for at least 45 minutes, so we had a blast just talking away and 2 hours later we remembered to take it off.
You have to drink a ton of water the day of the wrap and probably the day before as that is part of the flushing process. All too technical for me to explain or understand. To date I am her worst loser. I'll explain that. She has had people lose anywhere from 3-7 inches off their waist!! Me? 1 1/2 inches. Ra-ra.
I went ahead an ordered a 4 pack with shipping and handling and it came to just over $100. I tried the muffin top again and didn't even lose an inch. I was a bit bummed and was worried it was going to be chalked up to of course it doesn't work for me!
It just dawned on me that my grandmother AND my MIL has that same attitude. Wow is that ever going to cause some psychological scarring once I sort that one out.
Since I still had more wraps, I tried it on the lower part of my double-decker belly where having children has wrecked the whole area. Oh my word!! First off, it felt wonderful. I don't remember what all the ingredients are to this thing but it felt wonderful on the skin. And then when I took it off - could not believe it!! It shrank all my stretch marks and totally tightened up the skin!!! I lost 4 inches too.
And there was rejoicing in the land.
Brenda and I have been tossing back and forth why the muffin top didn't shrink. I told her I was now worried I had a toxic muffin top of flubber. I've had a lot of issues with the whole stubborn belly fat. Can lose weight except there. Such a lovely gift I would like to not have. That's connected to the whole poly-cystic ovarian stuff which is linked to insulin resistance.
This did get me to researching and getting some God pushing as I've been coming across a lot of helpful stuff. I was telling her all the stuff I've been reading in Don Colbert's book I Can Do This Diet and he address PCOS and insulin resistance as well. Brenda had already told me to up my fiber by a lot which is what I've been reading. I'm sure I'll bore you with those details later in another post but I'm finally realizing why I've tried a lot of diets and not get the same results "normal" people do.
I was hoping to wrap my arms before I did this post so I could say that it's not just for the tummy and could give it more kudos, but that requires Hubby to help me because I can't do it on my own. He is currently having to change tires on his truck because his dad keeps insisting that he has fixed this one tire. It went flat again, this is the 4th time, dude is ticked off, I am leaving him alone.
But seriously - this stuff shrank.my.stretch.marks!!!! If I could I would wrap my whole body but that is a bit pricey and you can only do one wrap at a time. It has been well over a month and I can tell that I need to do another wrap again but it didn't go back to what it was before and the inches have stayed off. A lot of people have had better success at it than I have but I'm still happy with what it did shrink.
I so wish you all lived close because if anyone local is interested, I can hold a wrap party and you can try it yourself for $25 before spending that much money. You do have to wrap yourself with plastic wrap to hold it in place for the 45 minutes. Helps it stay in place and keeps the goop from getting on clothes.
They do have a loyal customer program where you can get it A LOT cheaper but you have to let it automatically take out the amount for 3 months out of your checkbook. Hubby said no so I paid the higher price. Someone explain that one to me??? Because I'm being told I'm not logical.
Yeah, okay, whatever.
To quote Brenda's daughter - "get a wrap done and get your sexy on." They do have a cream that does treat stretch marks that a lot of people are watching them disappear. I haven't tried it but I'm still geeking out about having tighter skin. Cool stuff!
I am not being paid to say any of this - this is my experience with this product. Even though I didn't have huge success yet, I can say the product really does work!
When we last left our heroine, she thought Monday was all done with her. She thought wrong. It went on to go all gangsta on her and had her pinned to the floor in a vicious battle of laundry. Thinking this was the end, she let out one last gasp for help but ended up choking on a dust bunny. All the choking and gagging noises alerted the oh-so-not-observant crew of guys. They did manage to pull her out but then asked what was for dinner. All whimpers of kill me now where ignored and the question was repeated.
After dinner, more laundry was battled and then she shoveled the dishes out of the sink. And now here she sits, too tired to get up and go to bed but not tired enough to just pass out on the couch. Which is probably a good thing because it's not that comfy. Sadly, the eyeballs aren't even tired - now. They were for hours after Mr. I walk on the wild side knocked on my door.
I have come to the conclusion that being forced awake is the cruelest thing to a tired mom. A mom that has to listen to all kinds of crap from everyone yet is supposed to magically make it all better with the snap of her fingers.
I think I let the kids watch too much Mary Poppins as children.
It is better to slowly become aware that it is, in fact, daylight and time to get up. Better than being all nice and comfy and totally unaware of what is going on, when one of your kids flies into the room flipping out because someone is banging on the door. You open your eyes only to have them scream from the pain of bright light! so you slam them shut. While this is going on, your heart rate went from 0-60 so you're not sure if you are a car, where dead, or are going to be dead. All you know is that someone is going to die. Your brain isn't entirely working so it hasn't decided who yet.
But that is a Monday for you. Who else can drop kick you through the goal post of life other than a Monday?
Speaking of face planting in the end zone, that little power flicker we had killed the cord to the laptop. According to Hubby dear, when I came too I was weeping and mumbling something he couldn't understand. I was told we'll get to it which was not something I wanted to hear as this means it could be weeks before he actually "gets to it".
I'm now plotting to starch his underwear to see how fast he will get around to get it done.
What? We all knew I was the crazy one in this picture. But dude drives the bus.
Speaking of crazy, did you like how my MIL went a little nutty on my facebook status? I've known Brenda for years and she is the eternal ray of sunshine. My MIL is the eternal dark cloud of doom. And I'm pretty sure my Mom is the eternal bolt of lightning. But that is neither here nor there. Thought it was funny how Brenda tried to keep it all nice and happy and my MIL crapped all over it.
And y'all wonder why we pretend to be orphans.
The sun'll come out tomorrow! But first I have to blow away that dark cloud and for Pete's sake look out for that flash of lightning!!
I blame all of this on Monday, btw. I'm pretty sure it started the whole thing to begin with.
Monday, April 11, 2011
With a title like that surely I would have something blog worthy. But this is a Monday and I can not be held responsible for whatever tumbles out.
Saturday Hubs and the teens went for a day hike. I said they went hiking and they were all like no that's not correct, it was just a day hike and I'm all like what is the difference? I got some speech but I will be honest, I didn't care enough to focus on the words that were coming out of their mouths. So I just sort of sat there with a glazed over look and nodded at all the right moments.
I thought it was cute they all thought I was paying attention. Truly it is a gift to ignore someone at this level.
However, there has been some angst in the ranks and I decided to have just the teens go and keep Mr. McSqueakerton with me. Jared thanked me. Matter of fact, Nicholas and Michael both thanked me for this wise decision.
And there was peace in the land.
After they left, J and I declared a Star Wars Lego war. After hours of that, for some odd reason someone was in a mood to watch a Star Wars movie. I agreed and we were half way through episode 2 when the guys got back. I had to bail on J because I am expected to hear the tale of wonderment. I guess guys really do like it when you pay attention to whatever it is they are talking about.
Who knew, right?
I did find it rather funny that all of them were really relaxed. But Michael cracked me up the most. It was like the wind blew away his storm cloud and he was no longer Eeyore. He had this happy look on his face, he joined in on the conversation instead of being forced into it. Truly was a miracle. And he is so like his dad it's not even funny! But there was not one once of snark from either one of them. I joked that Hubby should take them out once a week to blow the stink off and they were all like OK! All depends on the weather. Not fun to go hiking when it is raining.
After their tale of wonderment, I forced them to take showers. I made homemade mac and cheese and we had brats for dinner. While eating we talked more about the Civil War. That is something they are studying right now and long story short we ended up watching Gettysburg. Good movie. I now have all the music in my head and I've been humming it off and on.
Sunday rolled around and not much to tell. I forced Jared to watch Tangled again. He only rolled his eyes at me once and then caved like I knew he would. I gave him the option of Tangled or Megamind so it's his own fault if he was annoyed.
Sunday ended with huge gust of wind, rain going sideways, serious thunder, a power flicker and about 10 minutes worth of a really angry storm. Then it rolled away. 3 out of 5 in our household slept right through it and didn't even know it rained.
I was not one of those people.
Then Monday showed up by someone knocking on our front door early. I have no idea who it was because by the time I threw on clothes and got downstairs the person gave up and left. Which is good because I can't say I'm overly social. There was no car in the driveway so I'm betting it wasn't anything important. Matter of fact, I'm betting it was someone trying to get us to come to their church for their Easter program. Turns out it was a Jehovah Witness as he left a pamphlet crammed in my door.
Really Monday? Really??
So Monday has started off with a nanner nanner. Topped off with a couple phone calls I need to make, no unemployment money, and 3 overflowing baskets of laundry that needs to be dealt with. Whee.
Really wished those pirates would have done their job and taken out Monday.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
I got a few emails asking if they were on the right blog as they weren't sure it was me because I use a little bug thing for twitter and the cat for the blog.
Did you get all that?
Anyhoo, while I was blog hopping I noticed 3 other people are using the same cat picture. The nerve! But I couldn't part with the cat so she shall remain on the side. This means I'm stuck with my picture until I can find something else to hide behind.
Friday, April 8, 2011
That is about all that is left of my brain from Thursday.
Started off that my folks called to make sure I would be home. After I cussed myself out for answering the phone, I owned up to the fact that I had no where to go.
You really shouldn't be all the surprised as to why they would come up for another visit. They are convinced the government is going to shut down, blah blah, end of the world, doom and gloom. I guess they thought they would come share their views on life and government.
Oh please do. It's either listen to you or throw myself off a cliff and that's after I hit myself repeatedly in the head.
They said I'm not that funny.
They wanted to grab some of their paperwork and some of their stuff. Fine with me as that is less crap I have to deal with. But I could have done without their 2 hour long rant. I know I should feel bad but after I made everyone a cup of tea, I sat there and totally zoned out. Elvis had left the building. My bod was still there only because it couldn't figure out how my brain managed to get up and go without it.
Hubby however decided to go toe to toe with my Mom. I love him for trying. But she doesn't listen, she doesn't back down and if you tell her I disagree - get comfy it is going to be a while.
I was surprised that my Dad had jumped in that we need to prepare for the storm blah blah. Hubs fired right back that all their preparation was for nothing and most of their preparations where way past expiration dates and he was stuck dealing with it.
I went to high five him but both my parents rudely interrupted him and went on to blather on about something. I blacked out there for a while. I was thinking how excited I was that American Idol was going to be on that night.
Boy was that ever a let down!!
Can.not.believe Pia was voted off!! There are 3 guys I have been hoping would get the boot. I'm still mad about the whole thing. Either that or I was coming off some emotional angst. I did noticed that Haley had a relieved yet slightly smug look on her face. Pia was her biggest competition and not now.
I'm still mad. Hopefully Pia can go on to have her own record deal and stomp all over whoever wins Idol.
But the final blow of yesterday that flopped over into today was yet again the unemployment office sits on its butt and doesn't do the job. Waiting on a check so I can pay some bills really stinks. Which now those are late and I get to pay a late payment fee. It's not my fault I get to sit and wait on someone to make up their mind.
Grr! Rant, rave, snort, pout.
And in that order too.
Glad it is Friday. Hubs is going to take older two hiking over the weekend while J and I kick some serious Star Wars Lego butt and watch a movie or 2. I'm pretty sure I won't bother to answer the phone.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
I wish I had something blog worthy to blog about but that would require more brain power than what I own at this moment.
We even had nothing happen when we went to stuffmart. Either that or I completely blocked it from my memory. The guys reassure me nothing happened.
That leaves me with...not much.
I would like to say for all the blog posts where I ranted and raved of being frustrated with my boys on the homeschool front, this has been a whole new year. For the older 2, even though Latin and American Lit totally bombed out, they have done very well in algebra, biology, American History, and, of course, music. Getting A's on all of those. J his holding down 93% which according to SOS is a B, in my book he is holding down an A. Huge improvement from when he started off. He even got his first 100% on spelling the other day. All in all, this has been the best year we have had academically.
And there is a huge sigh of relief from this mom.
I'm almost done with getting next year's stuff rounded up. But after wading through everything, we will be done in a month and a half. I don't think I've ever been this on top of things. Miracles still do happen.
I asked the guys what they were planning on doing for their summer break and it went along the lines of 1 kid sleeping until noon and then playing his guitar until his fingers are numb, 1 kid playing the piano until his fingers are numb, and 1 kid playing video games until his fingers are numb.
I'm sensing a trend.
I have a feeling nothing will change for me over the summer as duty calls. Goodness knows the dishes won't clean themselves and while I think the clothes could crawl into the washer on their own power, I think they will refuse just to mess with me.
One thing I am determined to keep up is the journey that God has me on right now. It's weird because it is all part of this coming out of the grave thing. I'm hitting on stuff that is just mind, body, and soul. Reading a lot of good books which I'm getting a lot of ah-has. Switching up some things that I eat. Having PCOS there is links to insulin resistance. I'm reading Don Colbert's book on I Can Do This Diet and it sort of brings a lot of info I knew all together to give the oh moment. I'm still trying to tract down a couple supplements but I'll get there. I'll also spare you how I'm trying to give up pop. I may have whimpered once when one of the guys poured a glass of cold Coke in front of me.
Work in progress.
But the funniest part are these walk at home DVDs I got. (Julie you totally inspired me) Although I'm slightly concern that Jared is trying to kill me. We've been at it for a couple months. It took us a while to work up to it, but last week we did the 4 miles. Our legs were jello the rest of the day! I feel great doing 2 miles but that 3rd and 4th mile must use up all the great feeling.
I have to laugh because I was reading Made To Crave and had the whole need an accountability partner. I rolled my eyes because I have no one. And then God said haha you have Jared. He is loving it and the first thing out of his mouth is are we walking today?
We've noticed that Monday we can barely do 2 miles and then it takes us the rest of the week to work up to the 4 miles. Then the weekend is here, hallelujah! Only to have Monday show up and say time to pay the piper.
Darn that piper.
While I'm losing some weight and inches nothing worthy to brag about - yet. But it is a good change. Move out of the way stone, I am coming out of this grave.
So it's been some nice changes. I'm not sure what corner we turned but it has been really nice!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
I got a couple email jokes that are just too flipping funny not to pass along. One is near and dear to my heart especially after you all know my take that friends don't let friends wax and what have you.
Seriously, put down all drinks. Don't even think of eating anything while you read this so you don't choke. I laughed until I was crying because I could so see this being me.
*NEVER WAX YOUR HOO-HA**
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Fix dinner, watch the grand kids come and go. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should get the waxing kit from the medicine cabinet.
So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?
I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!)
I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the family, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship.
I drop my granny panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip).
I inhale deeply and brace myself.... RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!..... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Once my vision returned, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.
Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.
I think I may pass out.... I must stay conscious... I must stay conscious.
Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe.... OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.
I hold up the strip!
There's no hair on it.
Where is the hair???
WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.
I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip... it's not!
I touch. I am touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
Then I make the next BIG mistake ... remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!'
What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand in the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right ???
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.... in scalding hot water.
Which, by the way, does not melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone.
It's a very good conversation starter. 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hoo-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now ... I can hear her.
I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace.....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point?
I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!! The scream probably woke the family and scared the dickens out of my friend.
It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. IT WORKS!!
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair color......how bad can that turn out???*
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
I went into the gas station today and asked for five dollars worth of gas.....
The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims:
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You may be a Muslim
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
You may be a Muslim
3. You have more wives than teeth.
You may be a Muslim
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.
You may be a Muslim
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You may be a Muslim
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
You may be a Muslim
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your underwear.
You may be a Muslim
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You may be a Muslim
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You may be a Muslim
10. Your cousin is president of the United States.
You may be a Muslim
11. You find this offensive or racist.
You may be a Muslim
Sunday, April 3, 2011
We survived the visit.
And it was a visit that still leaves me scratching my head. Everyone got along, no digs, no crazy - was a good visit.
My folks arrived just as Tangled was getting over. Why yes, I did pick it up much to my teenagers' chagrin. It turns out my Mom slipped all the kids some money. I had to chuckle because if she thinks she can buy them off that easily than she is sadly mistaken.
Dad said he wanted to go get some ice cream so we all loaded up in our van and away we went. Nicholas and Michael, aka hoover eating machines, finished their ice cream in record time and Dad bought them a second helping.
I smirked at another bribery attempt.
We headed back home and Jared asked if they wanted to see Tangled which my Mom did. So some of us watched Tangled while the teenagers disappeared. Once that was done, I fixed a quick meal and we all horfed it down.
I thought we were going to play a few rounds of cards but the conversation turned into where we were at regarding our relationship with God. All of us shared what God was teaching each of us lately. All good stuff.
I felt really bad for my folks. They had been very involved with their church but their beliefs of being filled with the Holy Spirit clashed with the pastor and his beliefs. The pastor told my Dad to stop talking about it which Dad said um, no. So he went about a smear campaign against them. As in Googled them, pulled info regarding their tax fight as well as my brother's run-ins with the law, and then passed out this info saying gosh, look what I discovered and clearly these people need to be tarred and feathered. Now while my folks irritate me and while I don't agree with them on some things, that was beyond a low blow. My folks had told the pastor all of this upfront but the way he went about it - I've seen these types of games before.
And it is frustrating.
We do not wrestle with flesh and blood. We have an enemy against our very souls, stalking us, watching us, looking where to drive in the hook, the dagger, the final blow. Why, oh why, do I struggle to remember that when the attack is coming from someone I know?
So my folks are church shopping and asked why our shopping has stalled. I would say came to a screeching halt but that may be just me. I don't know what the answer is other than God is preparing us to move out of state. But first, we needed some alone time with just Him to get healed, not another program to run or some other fluff that didn't fill us but ended up draining us.
The topic of Easter came up during our family bible study last week. I was saying how I don't understand why we have this huge celebration of Jesus' birth at Christmas time but then Easter was always focused only on the cross and always felt like a funeral. Yes, there was a funeral but where is the celebration of He has risen? The celebration of victory over sin and death? We do this by dying eggs and eating chocolate??
I've said before that I am a total wuss when it comes to blood, guts, and gore. Growing up I did not care for Easter as every message was on all the gritty details of the cross to the point I wanted to pass out or throw up. I watched The Passion of Christ and while it was good to see the penalty of sin as the wages of sin lead to death and that I need redemption and I could not save myself - I always found myself wanting to see more of the victory. I wanted to shout as death and sin and the enemy was defeated. But it never happens. We see the hole in His hand and He's ready to take a step and bam the credits role.
The whole thing is sort of going along with the coming out of the grave thing I keep running into. Not sure how to tie it all together or exactly where this is going.
I voiced all this to my folks and asked them what was their Easter experience growing up and they said it was pretty much the same as mine - a somber affair and nothing to celebrate. My folks had even taken it a step further and there was no Easter baskets or egg hunts when I was growing up.
Jared's bible lesson this last week was about God is preparing a banquet, a party, a celebration. I told the guys I want to celebrate the victory. Not exactly sure how we're going to go about this. While my folks were here, Mom had asked if we had a bunch of their old Integrity Music tapes. Hubs found the box and we were going through some of them. I remember a lot of those songs growing up. I think I need to find some music for our celebration.
So what does celebration mean to you guys?
Friday, April 1, 2011
Last couple of days the twins have been doing a lot of square roots in their math. Those things are still just as evil as I remembered. I took pity on them and had them use calculators when they were hitting 3 digits and had to find decimals. I think it was the only thing that kept Michael's head from exploding.
I still feel it is morally wrong to force my kids to do algebra especially since I hated it with an everlasting hate. But that is the way the cookie crumbles.
Since the sun was shining and we're supposed to get crappy weather next few days, I decided to load them up and go run pointless errands. I listed where all we were going and I was asked what did we need from each store. I asked for the definition of need. I was given the definition of need and was then asked if it was in that frame of definition.
My husband has been cloned and they all stalk me.
I reminded them I'm the fun parent to which they said I'm the one that makes them haul all the laundry up and down the stairs, force them to take out the trash, and harp on them to do schoolwork, as well as insist they bathe verses their dad takes them hiking, builds things with them, has Nerf wars, never comments on their stale corn chip smell, and offers help with their schoolwork where as I tell them to read it again. Therefore they did not feel my definition of fun and theirs was the same.
There's a big shock.
I shrugged and said ok we can go back home and do more schoolwork to which they were real quick to get with the program and said I was loads of fun and to carry on with whatever I was planning.
They picked up on that waaay faster than their father. Must have got that from me.
Nicholas was not happy with me because I had planned on getting Tangled. He also realized I totally forgot about it and so did Jared who is my partner in all things animated. Rat fink did not remind me and gloated about it. Teenage boys have learned not to verbalize this gloating but they have yet to master the smug look that gives them away every.single.time.
There is always another day.
Watched American Idol - loved Scotty/Lauren duet and can't say as I was surprised by the results as I totally agreed with it.
As I was sitting down to write this blog post about what our day was like, the dog started going crazy. As in I'm being eaten alive crazy.
I'll point out that Hubby dear was already in bed. Asleep.
I go out there armed with flashlight trying to figure out what the hey. Thought there was a critter in the dog house. Made boys go grab their dad, who I'm pretty sure didn't have anything nice to say about me, my mother, or the dog that he has been saddled with.
I thought the whole bat thing and squirrel thing were the epic of fail for this place. The bats still hold the record even beating out Rocky Raccoon. We now have a new member of the Over the Hedge clan that seems bent on tormenting us.
First round, Hubs could find nothing. I was given evil glare and he went back to bed. I shot back that if he would have put the dog down months ago like I had suggested, he wouldn't be up dealing with a dog sounding like it's being brutal murdered at midnight.
He did not applaud my observation for some reason.
Round two had more sounds of savage barking with snarling tossed in. I go out with the flashlight and saw the end of a tail behind the dog's house. Came flying back into the house where I quickly and urgently called for Hubby.
It was right at that moment I had the feeling I was going to owe him a booty call.
Turns out it was an opossum. Let the record show that this guy had no intention of "playing dead". It made eye contact and everything. It showed no sign of being scared. Matter of fact, it acted a bit miffed off that we were messing with his new hidey-hole and did not feel like leaving the area.
The worthless dog, that is several sizes bigger than the opossum, did nothing but stand there and shake. If she would have had hands to wring, she would have wrung them. Dear Lord, the dog acts like me!!
I can only hope Hubby doesn't make that connection or there will be no living that one down.
So Hubs thought back to his critter wrangling episodes and remembered that pepper spray worked well with getting rid of the squirrels. That and getting tagged in the butt with a paintball. He grabs the can, he hosed the opossum down - it didn't do squat! Still no playing dead, no making a break for it, just sat there and looked at Hubs with the look of "is that all you got?" going on. I saw the look and everything as I was, yet again, holding the light.
I couldn't tell you what happened after that because I had to go in the house as it was making me hack. Dude could kiss that booty call goodbye!
He was rather surprised that it didn't really do anything but sit there. So he grabbed the shovel and was in the process of hauling out the dog house to club the sucker to death when it picked up on the fact that golly gee, these people want me to scram.
The funny part was as the thing lumbers off - not a get the heck out of dodge pace but a fine, I'm going pace - the dog follows it, ever so slowly but acts all yeah, you better run and don't let me see your mug again!
But now the dog won't go near her house because hello the back end got hosed with pepper spray and is at this very moment by the window whining at me.
Hubby is not happy - he's got to be at work nice an extra early tomorrow and then Saturday my folks are coming in for a visit. I have a feeling words are going to be had. I'm thinking I may have to put the offer of booty back on the table.