Friday, April 15, 2011

As The Chocolate Flows

Sounds like the making of a really good drama. Oh wait, for me it's same crap different day. Never mind!

So Hubby came home yesterday to find me hiding under the table talking to the dust bunnies. He should be glad that he found me in THAT state verses what I was like earlier. I have no excuse or reason why the hormone fairy slapped me upside the head and said, 'tag, you're it.'

I found the biggest hurkin pill of evening primrose oil I could find and gulped it down. Half an hour later I was starting to unclench my fists. I think Hubs is right - all men should carry some on their persons labeled "in case of emergency". If it's followed up with chocolate I'm not as offended by his suggestion. But I already had some and he did express his thanks.

I am now terrified of menopause.

If I'm this whacked out now, what do my 40s hold? What about 50?

My MIL used to carry around papers proving she was nuts and bragged about what crimes she could commit and get away with. My mom had a hysterectomy in her early 40s and went instant crazy. One of her sisters was legend to be, and I quote, "meaner than a snake." My oldest cousin scarred me last time I saw her when she hike up her skirt, rip open her blouse and started fanning like there was no tomorrow. And she has always been the prim and proper one!

I felt really out of control and it sort of freaked me out. I'm now going to vote for whatever woman runs for office. PMS should so be a legal excuse - she could wipe out a country and just shrug and said it was that time of the month and everyone would totally understand. She wouldn't wait until the last day to settle something. Totally kick down the door to the Senate, hair a little wonky, a ring of chocolate around her mouth, and she gets down to biz-ness.

It will either fix our country or put the finishing nails in the coffin.

I bet she would enact a National Day of Chocolate and demand Hershey to get their butts back in the USA and start making choc-olate the good old fashion way - HERE! I would have to think with gas prices the way they are it would be cheaper to make it here rather than get stuck with all those shipping charges.

But what would I know?

Today I'm not as whacked out. I started the day off with another pill. One of the boys asked if that was my magic pill. I said yes, it magically keeps me from killing all of you.

They've been super sweet to me all day for some reason. Muwahaha!

Although Hubs is in a dilemma now but doesn't know it yet. He can either cook dinner, bring dinner home or take us out. The choice is totally up to him. But since we are STILL waiting on stupid unemployment, I'm thinking he will be cooking.

The only down side is he tends to trash the kitchen when he cooks. I'm not sure even he can trash it more than what it is. It has gotten away from me this week for some odd reason. I guess when you are sitting under a table talking to dust bunnies the dishwasher doesn't magically fill up and run itself.

Pity.

I hear there is a nerf war being planned this weekend. I totally blackmailed Nicholas with some new music and my evil plan is now working. The funny part is he can't even complain even though he sort of wants to. He keeps saying how much he really appreciated the CD and I just smile at him and he says, 'yeah, I know'.

Hope y'all have a good weekend and lots of chocolate.

2 comments:

Kerri said...

Hershey doesn't make chocolate here anymore? WHAT???

Joanna said...

Made in Mexico.