Thursday, June 2, 2011

Oh My Aching....

Pick a spot!

I have teenagers. Pity me.

I had said on facebook a while ago that I wondered if it's emotionally scarring to refer to your children as stretch marks 1-49; 50-99; and 100-140. I think the stretch marks are trying to stretch some part of me that is not stretchable.

Say that 5 times fast.

I have heard repeatedly that girls are way more emotional than boys. Whoever truly believes that must have a psycho girl because 1 boy child is enough to do me in. We are making progress but why, oh why, do they have to take 5 steps back that took 2 weeks to accomplish in like 10 seconds??

The subject of button pushing is a hot topic right now. 3 boys in 1 room. Let the psychological warfare begin!

The youngest has been pushing buttons with his older brothers simply because I think he's had his buttons pushed and he decided to past the point of no return. Plus he's at the wonderful stage of hello puberty, life as you know it has just ended.

I get him even in spite of his hormonal stage right now. Actually, I understand him even more because that's usually how I feel. But as I have stated before, I don't like the competition and like to be the emotional unstable one of this crew. Everyone has their place. I figured if I take the screwed up position that means they have to be the responsible ones.

I can dream, can't I?

So there have been lots of talks and youngest was told to straighten up and fly right only to have oldest make a smart@ss comment which was the same as mashing all the buttons at once.

Kill me now. It would be so much easier.

How do you show someone that their behavior is only making the situation a thousand times worse? And when I prayed about it that night, I got the smart answer from God along the lines of, "now you know how I feel."

Gee, thanks.

Tonight as I went to send the spawns off to bed, nary a word was said but rolling eyes and eyebrow arches were given and I wanted to slap someone upside the head. I got on the offending party's case only to be given the excuse, "I didn't say anything." At that point my head was throbbing and I told him to get out of my sight and not make a sound or he wouldn't see the light of day until Monday.

His eyes got real big and left the room. Then he had the nerve to complain to his twin that I'm really moody and it must be because I'm so excited to see the new X-Men movie. Oh yeah, that MUST be the reason. Couldn't possibly be some pain in the arse kid who thinks my soul purpose in life is to wipe his nose. I yelled up at him that if he pushed my buttons there would be no movie - period!

I'm not sure what was said but I heard muttering.

I'm now searching for my wooden mallet. Right now it's a toss up between using it on the spawn or myself. It may be a bad sign that I'm tossing coins to pick which one.