Wednesday, July 27, 2011

And Here I Sit...

With my face almost plastered to the keyboard. I'm tired. What could possible have me this out of it, you may wonder? We.had.to.go.grocery.shopping.

I'm pretty sure I have seen advertisement about buying food online and they deliver it to you. Which is so much better than getting a rusted grocery cart that will cause you to use Herculean strength to push it around the store, battle screaming people, have what is on your list out, and then stand in line for 25 minutes as you wait in the 1 of the 3 check out lanes.

Not that I'm bitter much.

And yes, I did time it.

I don't know what it is about grocery shopping, but it sure does take the starch right out of me. But to stand there and gaze at all the empty lanes that aren't open will test the patience of a saint.

Sadly, I am not that saint. I'm the crazy one with an eye twitch.

I think I had the eye twitch from doing laundry earlier. I found a load of the boys' clothes crying, "good-bye cruel world" as it crawled into the washing machine. The stench - it was fierce. I was told I'm not funny.

With the hot weather of last week, the laundry was over ripe. I think it's getting worse. I've heard this is all part of the age but eww. I walk around here like a gunslinger with a can of Febreze attached to my hip ready to shoot the smell right out of the sky.

I'm told I crossed a line when I hosed a dude down with the Febreze and I guess it is frowned upon to force people to lift their arms so I can hose down the pits.


Does anyone have any ideas how to help motivate a few people to shave the 5 whiskers off their chin? No, I'm not talking about myself - I'm already motivated.

The older 2 look at their dad and think they don't have to shave because Hubby is not a hairy dude. The hairy came from my side of the family. As I've stated a time or thirty that I think someone in the gene pool may have mated with a yeti at some point. Not so great for me being a girl, but the guys will be able to own their fur without too much mishap. But I've noticed lately when crumbs start to get tangled in those 5 whiskers I start to stare.

And then I get yelled at for staring. I thought I showed great restraint by not pointing or, heaven forbid, flicking the crumbs off.

I asked Hubby dear to try and educate me on how to survive all things guy. True to form, he shrugged his shoulders and mumbled, "I dunno."

Kill me now.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Weekend Blender Dump

That sort of sounds gross now that I think about it. Almost made me think it was going to be a smoothie but I had to go and ruin the ride with the word dump.

Please be kind Google, it's a delicate blog.

I had a few posts that I started but never got around to finishing. Goodness knows I struggle to make a point and when I get interrupted, like needing sleep, I tend to lose my train of thought and then not sure how to finish it off. So there they sit, unfinished.

We sort of had a good weekend. The boys turned in a bunch of old video games and was able to get the new Lego's Pirate game for free. Fun was had by all until the thing froze up in the exact same spot over and over and over again. Hubs loaded up the older 2 and went to swap out the bad disk for a new one. Blah, blah store didn't have any more copies so they had to run further away to find the game. Game was found, Hubs' praises were sung by all and the gaming continued.

Only...

The game froze up in the exact same spot.

Not to be deterred, they continued to work on all the stuff they unlocked and after half and hour the thing froze up again.

I'm thinking the Wii needs a break. I just hope that wasn't it's death rattle or things will get ugly around here. Except Michael came up with a brilliant idea that maybe the memory chip was too full and since they got rid of a bunch of old games they should delete those off the memory. It worked and they are back at battling all things piratey.

Hubby and I went out on a date Saturday. Went out to eat and saw a movie and had a good time but then we came home and got into an argument. Really? What was the deal with that??? Turns out I get rather offended when dude falls asleep in the middle of the conversation. What can I say? I get really needy.

Long story short, dude has been super stressed this last month. And I had no idea. It's not that I'm not a very observant person, it's just the guy is hard to read. He shows no emotion so it's those tiny little clues that can only be detected when one has a magnifying glass and nothing better to do with their time. That and he admitted he's been trying really hard to keep it from me.

As if I didn't have enough things to deal with, he decides to throw a curb ball.

According to Hubs he feels all this unknown and totally changing course is totally freaking him out and finds it to be more stressful than everything else we have gone through to date. I think some of you know the score up till now so you know the full weight of that sentence. I, personally, think we have gone through much, much worse and am now concern on many levels. Especially with the whole I didn't want to tell you part.

Whatever makes a man think that statement will put the female mind to rest does not know the female mind.

Hubs has been trying to be all strong and encouraging by telling me everything is going to be alright. Encouragement is not a gift the man owns. I think some of it may come from the fact that he just really doesn't like people. So when he makes those rare attempts at being encouraging, I have learned to not shoot him down. Or to snicker, crack up laughing, and/or roll my eyes.

It's been an interesting week. Dude is study hard as he is one week away from his certification test and then it's job hunting time. Not to mention that he'll probably have to sign up for another round of classes to eventually get to where he's aiming to go.

But...

There are sooooo many details we don't know. And for someone who is a planner, it is driving him nuts. On top of that we're trying to figure out all the details of possibly moving several states away. All the gritty details of how do you make this happen is a lot to go over and we're not sure how this is going to work. Frankly, Hubby is freaking out over more of that stuff than I am simply because I know we are not at the spot where we NEED to know it. Yeah, we want to know it but it's not the same.

So here we sit. And wonder what is next. And while I'm sitting and wondering I'll try to figure out how Hubs went from being a jerk to me and I ended up talking him off the ledge rather than fry his butt for being a jerk. I even gave him some emergency stash chocolate. He seemed to chill out after a while.

Care to guess how long it took me to put 2 and 2 together to = hey!? I'm almost sad to admit how long it took me.

I got to talk to the fabulous Jubilee a few days ago. I had a few questions for her and she took pity on me and sent me her phone number. She's as sweet in person as she is on her blog. I bet she realized I am as crazy in person as I am on my blog. Was very glad to talk with her and I'll totally understand if she screens her calls from now on, but she won't - she's too nice.

But she gave me some good ideas as they just moved several states away. And I passed them along to Hubs and that got us thinking. Huge thanks as that helps. Basically sell everything off that way it's less to move. She's brilliant.

The hard thing is timing. We just don't know. I'm thankful BofA doesn't have their act together and never evicted us or we never would have survived this year. Free rent is something I can get used to and will be nice if Hubby has to take another round of classes. You have to be a certified pharmacist technician before you're even eligible to take the other classes. I think dude wants to get into mixing IVs.

Can we say job security?

I made the comment I thought he should pursue it because every surgery needs IVs. Judging from the amount of adds out there advertising hip replacement surgery, I'm thinking this will be a good move.

So it's more hurry up and wait. My fav!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Delicate Flower, I Am

The heat is making me feel completely wilted. My glorious do nothing plan for Monday was to hog the place in front of the air conditioner unit while I tossed pillows at the boys to back off, momma was here first. Sadly, that was not what was in store for me.

Sunday night our Internet service was stopped. They tend to get a wee bit irritated when I fall behind on payments. Add insult to injury and we've timed out on regular price so they jacked the price up by $50 a month. What fun! They keep telling us we need to sign another 2 year contract to lower the oh.my.gawd price down to a slightly smaller version. I don't even know if we'll be here by the end of the year so can't sign a contract.

I may not be the sharpest pencil in the box but explain to me why they think if I'm already behind that adding more fees to the price will make them see their money faster? I bet the cable company is run by the mafia.

So Monday was spent running to bank and paying the man. And then my best friend from Texas is coming over tomorrow-ish so I spent the rest of the day cleaning. Which is good considering I recently found a mutant dust bunny the size of a chihuahua under my chair. Needles to say, I need to clean around here.

I would like to point out that housework in the 90+ degree heat = one sweaty me. Toss in the Tarzan swing of dust coated cobwebs and you have all the makings of a not so festive time. And Hubby wonders why I'm not a fan of cleaning. This old house is like some creepy spider monkey house of love because the cobwebs NEVER END!! I'm not really sure why the dust has turned into tumble weeds. This is one mystery I am not going to solve, I can tell you that.


But this whole being broke thing really sucks. Which is why I think I am counting down the days until Hubs is in a different job. Granted he will have to approach this in stages but steady employment is a good thing and a step in the right direction.

Friday Hubby did lower the boom to his boss. Showed him the numbers to back up that their part of the construction industry is not recovering and shows no signs of it. Boss man said he knew things were rather tough for us these last few years but didn't fully buy the numbers. So Hubs got an offer of being put on salary on Monday. Boss man had time to go home, look at the books and realized that there is no way his business will continue without Hubs.

Let the begging begin!

I have to say, I am sort of insulted over the whole thing. He's offering this branch NOW??? Were was this before the bankruptcy? I was teasing Hubby all night that no means no and to stick to his guns. I am told I am hilarious. This will not be a problem. But still. I can't help but feel irked.

In other who cares news, Michael and I have been battling it out in books. I'm a huge fan of Vince Flynn. Love his character Mitch Rapp. I've re-read all the books and have used post-it notes to block out some, um, unsavory parts. As in I have a 15 year old and he doesn't need to think about THAT thank you. But ripping some dudes arm out of socket? No problem.

So sad that if something only has violence we're like phew, okay.

The thing is I've had boy wonder drop a brazillion hints when he has to wait on me to finish the next book. He finished one book in one day and then harassed me for 2 days straight to finish the next one. I don't have the luxury of sitting ALL day reading. I have to do laundry and battle mutant dust bunnies and cook food for these people who want to eat ALL.THE.TIME.

I was really worried when the dog died that I wasn't sure what was going to happen to the leftovers. Dun-dun-da! Eating machines 1, 2, and now 3 have discovered 4th meal. Leftovers? What leftovers??

Is this what they mean by the circle of life?

Maybe tomorrow I will be able to hog the cool spot as it's supposed to be this crazy hot all week. I have a feeling it's not going to happen. Especially since the guys all asked if I would give them haircuts again. Didn't I just do that???

If you need me I will be trying to hide in the corner as close to the cool spot as I can get without being spotted.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Crazy Few Days

I know this will shock all 2 of my readers but it will be short and sweet.

Been an interesting few days to say the least. Hubs told his boss that the end was near. Dude took it pretty well but I don't think he's going to realized how much Hubs did for him. But nothing ugly so that was good. Hubs is busy studying away as his certification test is in 2 weeks and then he gets to sign up for another class. But I feel completely stupid and can't even understand a smidgen of any of it. Which means I still hold on to the fact that I am comic relief on this crazy train.

It's a gift.

I haven't heard a peep out of my folks in a whole week. I'm not sure if I should be relieved or terrified. Mainly relieved.

God sent me on a quest that I will have to blog about some other time because I am, if nothing at all, long winded.

I made the filling for stuffed French Toast and I got a few emails about it. Thought I had posted what it was and I guess I didn't. Oops. Package of cream cheese softened, 1/2 cup sugar, splash of vanilla; mix with blender. Add carton of thawed cool whip; blend. Slap it on french toast, top with fruit and bonus points if you have a fruit syrup. Mouth will do happy dance and you may feel the need to join in with it.

Or not.

Maybe you're the type of person that dances on the inside. But at least make your tongue happy.

Seems like there was something else but I'm drawing a blank and this is getting too long.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Run YOUR Race

I had submitted this to Praise and Coffee Magazine but it wasn't used so might as well put it up here.


No, I’m not a runner, but I play one on my blog. Seems the theme lately for a lot of people is run the race with endurance. I think this can apply to everyone. No matter what you are going through, it can be a race to be run.

The definition of endure is to hold up under (pain etc); to tolerate; to continue or last.
Endurance is the ability to last, stand pain etc.

I think that sums up life in general!

We finished up another year of homeschooling. I really feel a deep sense of satisfaction this year. We pressed down and trudged through my twins’ freshmen year. Come fall will be closer to the finish line. This has been a long distance race that I have been running, but it has come with a hard price of enduring. Sad to say, it hasn’t been a pretty run either.

I’ve seen some runners that have a stride that is spot on perfect and then there are other runners who’s legs are flopping all over the place and you’re amazed they are still upright and moving forward instead of crashed and burned, wrapped around a tree ½ mile back.

I am the second runner in this scenario.

I was not a fan of school. Everything was a struggle for me and I still think algebra is from the underworld. So when God put it on my heart to homeschool our boys, I started to try and negotiate my way out of it. I think I almost had a power point presentation on why this would be bad idea. I wasn’t let off the hook.

So off I went with fear and trembling. The first few years, while bumpy as I tried to get my stride, went pretty well. Then life threw a curve ball and we were barely surviving. I couldn’t cope with life and we were barely doing anything. When that storm passed, and I was told no I couldn’t stop, I was able to pull myself together only to have no money for schoolbooks. I faked my way through a year of schooling with not much. And did I mention that was the time when my sweet little boys turned into psycho tweens who knew everything? I was ready to sell them for a pack of gum. All the while I was surrounded by women who had their stride down and weren’t struggling to the degree that I was. I found myself no longer in the pack running but falling behind struggling.

There are moments in a race when you find yourself all alone. It’s just you and the pavement of life. No fans cheering you on and your mind, body, and will are all saying, “I am so done, pull over.” But you can’t because you have Jesus whispering in your heart to keep going. Your confident stride is gone and you find yourself just putting one foot in front of the other trying to make it to the finish line before you come to your senses and collapse.

I did allow “I’m done” to win one year and every time I went to pray, I was stopped short. There was no moving on because I wasn’t even in the race. I was bawling in prayer telling God all the reasons why I couldn’t go on. He very lovingly told me I already wasted a year and if I didn’t get off my butt I was going to lose another year. I asked if that was His final answer. He said the race was not over but I had to cross that finish line.

I laced up my shoes, wiped the sweat out of my eyes and got back up.

In the movie Facing The Giants there is a scene where the coach has one of his players blindfolded and crawling across the field with another guy on his back. The player had to follow the coach’s instructions and there was the coach crawling right along with him screaming, “Don’t stop! Give it your best, your very best! Don’t stop, don’t quit!”

All that kid could feel is pain.

I’ve been there in many different races. The weight is on your back pressing you down, you can’t see where you are at or where you are going. Everything in you is burning and shaking from fatigue, and no one else is there to help lighten the load. Can you hear Him? Can you hear your Heavenly Coach right along side you telling you don’t stop, keep going?

No one ever said we had to run with beauty and grace - it just said to run the race. You may find yourself in several races at once. I thought I would be forever wiping noses and stuck watching little kid’s shows until my brain crawled out of my ears. But that part of my race is done and now I am dealing with teenagers and once again my brain is threatening to crawl out of my ears and run away.

Don’t stop. It won’t last forever. Give Him your very best and keep running your race until you hear, “well done, good and faithful runner.”

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Dear Self

I know this last weekend was rather rough but I have to say it was needed. While I don't understand why life has come to a screeching halt, you have made some serious progress in a lot of areas.

I know the guilt is trying to press in and pull you down. Don't let it! You stood up to your parents crystal clear and I applaud you. I know you feel like crap and really wonder if you did the right thing but rest assured it was needed.

I know the outcome is cloudy and you sometimes wonder if this is going to change anything or not. You can't let that weigh you down because you can't change other people's responses or opinions about you. You stated the facts, you seriously beat them back across the line, and stood there with a big ugly stick daring them to press back. You really shouldn't be surprised that when presented with the truth, they had nothing to say.

And for now there is some peace in the land.

One can never really know what the right thing is to do in these types of situations. All I can say is seething with resentment is not the way to live as you've done that for years. And as you love to ask your kids, "how's that working for ya?" I can tell you, it hasn't.

You made a huge step in finally standing up for yourself. I know what it cost you. I know the angst, worry, and anxiety that played in your head and smacked your emotions around. I know the confusion you're battling wondering why you don't feel better or some form of release to be felt and I honestly don't know the answer to that but the sheer determination you put forth to get out of the same cycle was huge.

And no one can take that away from you.

Keep pressing on. Keep coming out of that grave. You were one wound up mummy with all your grave clothes on but you can't say that about yourself any more. I know you want faster results but you didn't slap all those band-aids on yourself in one night so be patient yourself.

To quote a wise red veggie, "God made you special and He loves you very much." Keep telling yourself that because some day you may just actually believe it.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Humble Pie In The Face

Turns out my kids really DO listen to me. Who knew? Goodness knows they don't always act like it.

Had a talk with the boys and their attitude about the whole bra thing and I got to say their response surprised me, chastised me, and challenged me.

When the guys where little nothing would drive dread into their little hearts faster than me having to bra shop. I was laughing about this with my cousin and she made the comment 'I bet they like going shopping now' and I was all eww, no. She asked if they like the Victoria Secrets commercials and I said no - those commercials have them diving behind pillows and muting the volume.

The conversation turned to modesty. I'll be honest, when I hear that word I immediately think of girls and what they wear. Most boys clothes are so huge you could hide half the pantry under their shirt. Not that they've tried that - lately. But since I brought the whole thing up while addressing their bad attitude, they gave me a different take.

Hubs grew up in a home where pretty much anything went. A guy has needs and all that bull was the flippant attitude. Hubs parents had to get married and my FIL has said numerous times if abortion was legal, Hubs would not be here today.

I got to tell ya, that is pretty darn cold.

Since we have 3 boys, you can bet we have approached things totally different. And we've said from the start to guard your heart - over everything. First off the bat, we've told them to be careful what they see. Keep the eyes moving instead of staying in 1 place. Starve off a fantasy life, don't let the mind just go there, wonder over there, or do back flips into the forbidden fruit.

I've heard Hubs say you can't stop a bird from flying over your head but you can stop it from building a nest in your hair.

They may not be able to prevent the thought but we're trying to make sure they don't stay there.

So with regard to the bras they said that you can't look at anything, go anywhere with out some form of s*x being shoved in your face. Seeing the offending article took the mind right to a certain place and after being out and about over a busy weekend, I can now see they were trying to keep their mind from going there.

Oh.

Which is hard because I am not wired that way so it isn't something I think all the way through. They both said their attitude was a combination of things and apologized for being snippy.

I heard it explained even further in the analogy of chocolate. There are times when the thought hits me that I want some chocolate. And the thought won't go away. The more I try to ignore it the more intense the feeling of wanting chocolate gets. So much so that I'm not at rest until I get some chocolate.


Now who couldn't understand that?

Now take out the chocolate and put something else there and you can start to see what a guy can battle every time he walks out the door or even turns on the TV. I only get hit with chocolate cravings once a month.

I'm glad I did get on their case because it got them to open up. It sort of helped me see where they were coming from and now I sort of feel like I need to walk along side them to just try and encourage them.

And then go swan dive off a cliff because I so don't feel prepared for any of this.

I would love to hand this off to Hubs and say take it away but the guy can be as talkative as a rock so to leave it up to him is rather bleak. He even admitted that. So even though there are certain things the guys talk about, it is the mom that sees it through.

You want to talk about some fine freaking print because I feel like I am getting the raw end of this deal.

So from now on, I'm to give a heads up for washing day so they aren't assaulted with a surprise attack.

And then I'll go swan dive off the nearest cliff.

With a bar of chocolate in my hand.

After I fork stab Hubs to death.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Silly Me

There is a whole lot of angst going on right now from the guys. Not only do I not have a laundry fairy, I, myself, have to wash by hand certain items of clothing. Sputtering was heard in the land as the bras were out, washed, and have been drying. Upon my feet hitting the floor this afternoon morning, I was immediately asked to take those things back upstairs to my room where it belongs.

Well good afternoon morning to you too.

When we went to the flea market I thought I had scored a pretty good deal - they had some knock off name brands for the knockers (couldn't resist) a 6 pk for $10. They didn't have the size I normally go with and I should have looked at another booth. I went with a slightly smaller size and while it's not doing my girls any favor of keeping them locked and loaded, it'll pass inspection of giving some support.

Me, being me, no longer trusting anything, decided I would wash them up first. It was when I was putting them on the dryer rack that I noticed the label. I felt myself cringe when I saw PRC (which when did made in China turn into made in PRC? It means the same thing - I hope).

This basically means I have communist bewby holders. It makes sense if you think about it - not only will the size not be correct, which explains a lot, and will be slightly uncomfortable but I bet there will be some lower standard of material floating around in there. If I grow a third bewb I will know where to point the blame.

So much for a good deal.

You can tell I am so full of compassion for their plight right now. So much so that I have yet to put the offending items away. Cuz that's how I roll! But I can't stop laughing at the guys for having so much angst over this whole ordeal. I should write a letter and pin it to their collar for any future wife material they would come across. Something like...

Dear Future Daughter-in-law, whoever you may be, I would like to sent a note along with this strapping young man that I truly tried but it seems that there are certain genes that are unable to be beat out of a man. Goodness knows I tried with their father. If you picked the youngest of the group, he thinks that a lot of cleaning falls under woman's work. You may feel free to borrow my rolling pin to try and help him see the error of his ways.

You'll noticed that rolling pin has a lot of dings in it so you can imagine I haven't had much success with it.

I'm hoping for your sake that you're able to cure them or at least curb them of their weird male behavior. I won't do to you what my MIL did which was wished me luck and ran away laughing her butt off. Nay, I will nod my head in sympathy and pray for you and only secretly run away laughing my butt off.

Good luck my dear!
Signed,
Momma tried but failed miserably.

Monday, July 4, 2011

It's Been A Busy Time

When we last left our heroine, she was sad over a dog who got the raw end of a bad deal. Ever pressing forward, our heroine cried buckets of tears, ate her weight in chocolate, had a reasonable time of the month, and soldiered on to face the holiday weekend that ended with a phone call from her folks.

This has a feeling of a long winded post as what is bound to happen when one doesn't blog for a day or 3. Make sure you have a snack to make it all the way through.

It is still weird that the dog is gone. I am a bit concern that Hubs and I are being stalked by a phantom dog. We keep thinking she's out there and find ourselves looking out the door, the window, whatever looking for her.

Always to find something funny, we have noticed that the local birds have held their own wake for the dog. It seems that whenever the dog did not eat her food, she would dumped it. The birds would help her by eating up the dumped remains. So for 3 days straight, at all hours of the day, we would noticed groups of birds sitting on the fence looking all sad and forlorn as they looked down to where the dog bowl usual was with the question hanging in the air amongst them all - "Where the heck is the food?!"

We've had a very puffy, fluffy, dare I say fatso of a blue jay that has hopped around the area squawking his protest. I bet he's the one that has been crapping all over my van.

So there was all that.

Then the weekend rolled in.

I had to run a few errands and I'm now convinced that all males are slightly brain dead. I told the guys to make sure they had their wallets, sunglasses and a few other items. I got yelled at for always nagging and blah, blah they can remember. Between the 3 of them, none of them had all the items they were supposed to have.

I wondered if I wouldn't have said anything if I would have been yelled at for not being a caring mom to remind them of their items?

Pause to let eye-twitch calm down

I can't remember much after that. Between the eye-twitch and aunt flo I think I tried to block the week out. However, I am having great success at killing off the PCOS beast. I've been taking this African Mango pill with a herb that starts with Irv. Informative I'm not, but for 3 months in a row aunt flo has shown up, hasn't tried to kill me by bleeding me dry, and left when it's supposed to.

And there was lifting of holy hands.

It did sort of surprise me that this seems to happen like every month. But when your uterus doesn't try to kill you, maybe I'll survive it after all.

Saturday Hubs and I went to see Larry Crowne - it was better than what I thought it would be. Interesting to see Julia Roberts play a different roll.

Sunday - Hubs makes the best French Toast - ever. He had this idea he wanted to do a stuffed French Toast and asked me to come up with some cream cheesy, light, fluffy, wonderfulness. Low and behold, I came up with such fluffy wonderfulness. And then we added fresh blueberries and even had blueberry syrup.

I am still emotional over how awesome it was.

Then I was reminded we were going to see fireworks that night. Happy moment was over.

Nothing like being around the unwashed masses to make you truly question our society. I was a bit alarmed by the sheer number of people smoking. Couldn't believe it. Thought we were in the smoking section of the unwashed masses and was hoping to find the non-smoking area. Or even the washed masses section would have been fine. It was the combo that about did me in.

I think the timing was off this year or something. Or maybe, just maybe, I was feeling over cynical and thought the whole thing was a bit lame. We were walking home and I made that comment only to have all the guys said they thought the same thing. This can only mean one thing - we're all extremely cynical.

Yeah, who was really surprised by that?

Monday showed up bright an early. I only know this because I was dragged out of bed bright and early. Well, it was bright and I can guarantee it was early for me. We loaded up the spawn, grabbed some questionable food from the golden arches and headed down to Indiana to a wonderful flea market in Shipshewanna.

Say that 5 times fast.

3 out of 5 of us had a great time and the grumpy twins tolerated being dragged out in daylight and only slightly hissed as their winter rash of white skin was slowly baked off. Jared got fried! Dude has my lily white skin tone. Except I actually put on a tanning oil and he refused. So while I have a slightly darker shade of white - borderline ecru - he is cherry red.

He can't wait to peel off the dead skin. My son - the reptile.

Oh wait, the twins changed their minds and declared the day a success when my folks called and were crushed when they found out that we went to the flea market without them. Basically, insert maniacal laughter and you'll get the picture. Seeings how my folks live in Indiana, they took it as a slap that we came down that far and left them out of it. You would think they would take the hint but you would be new here.

My mom tried to go there about the dog and I wasn't going. I forgot she had a cat that a cousin took because we had no where to put the cat as Hubs is allergic. The cat had to be put down the SAME DAY the dog died. Freaky!

My mom had the nerve to be all sniff my animals are all gone.

Another pause for eye-twitch and a brief filling of the cuss jar.

Another pause as I remembered why I stopped filling cuss jar as the fines were too steep and decided to spend money on next trip out. Go me!

So it turns out my dad was all they were going to come up but went to a family reunion on Sunday and was too tired but then asked where we were going to see fireworks. Battle Creek, Mi has some crazy fireworks, lots of rides, and tons of food but makes you want to go postal. Not to mention a whole new level of unwashed masses and possible evidence of inbreeding.

Imagine my joy when I said we already did fireworks Sunday. Gasp and sputtering was had and told I need to take the boys to see fireworks. I said we did and when I was their age I was dragged to some stupid reunion every year and we missed fireworks for years. The subject was changed.

I may have just reached ninja level on how to annoy someone.

Then my dad asked what day next week would work for us for them to come visit. I said none. He said very funny to which I said I wasn't kidding. I'll spare you the details but the man will not be denied and believe me, I tried to stop him. My kids sat there with their mouths hanging open from shock listening to my side of the exchange. I told them later that they better remember to what length I went to and still ended up with an epic fail.

I bet my dad is like Jedi master at annoying people.

I'm telling you, it is impossible to tell the man off. Well, I tell him off all the time, but he doesn't listen nor does he stay away and if you out and out say go away, he pretends he didn't hear you.

Needless to say, I will have to start inventing crisis level emergencies that I have to go rush to take care of in the invent they show up.

And that was how I spent my holiday weekend. What did you do?