Monday, July 4, 2011

It's Been A Busy Time

When we last left our heroine, she was sad over a dog who got the raw end of a bad deal. Ever pressing forward, our heroine cried buckets of tears, ate her weight in chocolate, had a reasonable time of the month, and soldiered on to face the holiday weekend that ended with a phone call from her folks.

This has a feeling of a long winded post as what is bound to happen when one doesn't blog for a day or 3. Make sure you have a snack to make it all the way through.

It is still weird that the dog is gone. I am a bit concern that Hubs and I are being stalked by a phantom dog. We keep thinking she's out there and find ourselves looking out the door, the window, whatever looking for her.

Always to find something funny, we have noticed that the local birds have held their own wake for the dog. It seems that whenever the dog did not eat her food, she would dumped it. The birds would help her by eating up the dumped remains. So for 3 days straight, at all hours of the day, we would noticed groups of birds sitting on the fence looking all sad and forlorn as they looked down to where the dog bowl usual was with the question hanging in the air amongst them all - "Where the heck is the food?!"

We've had a very puffy, fluffy, dare I say fatso of a blue jay that has hopped around the area squawking his protest. I bet he's the one that has been crapping all over my van.

So there was all that.

Then the weekend rolled in.

I had to run a few errands and I'm now convinced that all males are slightly brain dead. I told the guys to make sure they had their wallets, sunglasses and a few other items. I got yelled at for always nagging and blah, blah they can remember. Between the 3 of them, none of them had all the items they were supposed to have.

I wondered if I wouldn't have said anything if I would have been yelled at for not being a caring mom to remind them of their items?

Pause to let eye-twitch calm down

I can't remember much after that. Between the eye-twitch and aunt flo I think I tried to block the week out. However, I am having great success at killing off the PCOS beast. I've been taking this African Mango pill with a herb that starts with Irv. Informative I'm not, but for 3 months in a row aunt flo has shown up, hasn't tried to kill me by bleeding me dry, and left when it's supposed to.

And there was lifting of holy hands.

It did sort of surprise me that this seems to happen like every month. But when your uterus doesn't try to kill you, maybe I'll survive it after all.

Saturday Hubs and I went to see Larry Crowne - it was better than what I thought it would be. Interesting to see Julia Roberts play a different roll.

Sunday - Hubs makes the best French Toast - ever. He had this idea he wanted to do a stuffed French Toast and asked me to come up with some cream cheesy, light, fluffy, wonderfulness. Low and behold, I came up with such fluffy wonderfulness. And then we added fresh blueberries and even had blueberry syrup.

I am still emotional over how awesome it was.

Then I was reminded we were going to see fireworks that night. Happy moment was over.

Nothing like being around the unwashed masses to make you truly question our society. I was a bit alarmed by the sheer number of people smoking. Couldn't believe it. Thought we were in the smoking section of the unwashed masses and was hoping to find the non-smoking area. Or even the washed masses section would have been fine. It was the combo that about did me in.

I think the timing was off this year or something. Or maybe, just maybe, I was feeling over cynical and thought the whole thing was a bit lame. We were walking home and I made that comment only to have all the guys said they thought the same thing. This can only mean one thing - we're all extremely cynical.

Yeah, who was really surprised by that?

Monday showed up bright an early. I only know this because I was dragged out of bed bright and early. Well, it was bright and I can guarantee it was early for me. We loaded up the spawn, grabbed some questionable food from the golden arches and headed down to Indiana to a wonderful flea market in Shipshewanna.

Say that 5 times fast.

3 out of 5 of us had a great time and the grumpy twins tolerated being dragged out in daylight and only slightly hissed as their winter rash of white skin was slowly baked off. Jared got fried! Dude has my lily white skin tone. Except I actually put on a tanning oil and he refused. So while I have a slightly darker shade of white - borderline ecru - he is cherry red.

He can't wait to peel off the dead skin. My son - the reptile.

Oh wait, the twins changed their minds and declared the day a success when my folks called and were crushed when they found out that we went to the flea market without them. Basically, insert maniacal laughter and you'll get the picture. Seeings how my folks live in Indiana, they took it as a slap that we came down that far and left them out of it. You would think they would take the hint but you would be new here.

My mom tried to go there about the dog and I wasn't going. I forgot she had a cat that a cousin took because we had no where to put the cat as Hubs is allergic. The cat had to be put down the SAME DAY the dog died. Freaky!

My mom had the nerve to be all sniff my animals are all gone.

Another pause for eye-twitch and a brief filling of the cuss jar.

Another pause as I remembered why I stopped filling cuss jar as the fines were too steep and decided to spend money on next trip out. Go me!

So it turns out my dad was all they were going to come up but went to a family reunion on Sunday and was too tired but then asked where we were going to see fireworks. Battle Creek, Mi has some crazy fireworks, lots of rides, and tons of food but makes you want to go postal. Not to mention a whole new level of unwashed masses and possible evidence of inbreeding.

Imagine my joy when I said we already did fireworks Sunday. Gasp and sputtering was had and told I need to take the boys to see fireworks. I said we did and when I was their age I was dragged to some stupid reunion every year and we missed fireworks for years. The subject was changed.

I may have just reached ninja level on how to annoy someone.

Then my dad asked what day next week would work for us for them to come visit. I said none. He said very funny to which I said I wasn't kidding. I'll spare you the details but the man will not be denied and believe me, I tried to stop him. My kids sat there with their mouths hanging open from shock listening to my side of the exchange. I told them later that they better remember to what length I went to and still ended up with an epic fail.

I bet my dad is like Jedi master at annoying people.

I'm telling you, it is impossible to tell the man off. Well, I tell him off all the time, but he doesn't listen nor does he stay away and if you out and out say go away, he pretends he didn't hear you.

Needless to say, I will have to start inventing crisis level emergencies that I have to go rush to take care of in the invent they show up.

And that was how I spent my holiday weekend. What did you do?


Julie said...

You're parents scare me with their level of NOT GETTING IT.

Sounds like a mostly good holiday! Hope next year is even better. :)

Julie said...

That should be YOUR parents...

*rolls eyes at self*

Joanna said...

I do that all the time Julie. My fingers go faster than my brain.

Kerri said...

Not a whole lot. Did fireworks outside at night for a couple nights for Jacob. (Last year they were "thunderworks"). The actual 4th was too d#mn hot to do anything...

I went to Battle Creek one year for the fourth...same summer my symptoms for MG started...Hmm...coincidence??

OH, and you can always use me as a crisis in times of parental crisis-prevention.