Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Dear Lego Company....

Clearly you can see the boy has got mad building skills. I didn't even get to all the secret pods it has and the sucker has another ship inside. So I'm thinking you need to hire him and possibly his brothers. Hubby is for sale, I mean, for hire as he's been know to come up with some awesomeness himself.

But really Lego, I feel you owe me. I don't want to even think of the amount of money that we have paid for your plastic pieces of destruction.

Before you scoff at me, let me remind you of the foot injuries of yesteryear that were so heinous that I thought of taking a Sharpie and outlining your logo that I'm convinced is permanently embedded into my skin. Sure there were threats of copyright infringement but really was that necessary to point out that it wasn't even a REAL tattoo? I thought the definition of a tattoo is something that 1) costs a lot of money - which I provided receipts to prove this point; 2) causes a lot of pain - anyone who has ever stepped on a Lego will agree with me; 3) and permanently marks you - the Sharpie package said permanent ink so really I don't see how you can blow me off as I stated my case rather well.

Seriously Lego surely you have an internship that is open. I'm not pressing for CEO - yet but I'm sure even you can see the possibilities. Except he informed me the amount of pieces he used the kit would be redonkulously expensive. Did I mention it breaks off into a couple different ships with escape pods? Much like my sanity which I'm pretty sure is floating around in an escape pod waiting until it's safe to return.

I hope it packed a few lunches. Not to mention several changes of underwear. I know it's my sanity and all and I'm not even sure if it wears underwear but I just can't handle it if it's stuck in a horrible situation with no fresh clothes and.....

What's that Lego? What is my point?

Long pause

What was my point?

Oh yes, are you impressed and would you be willing to hire him? No, I don't think that it would be considered slave labor. Why? Because I have that title. Bwhahaha!

*wipes tears* Sorry.

Tell ya what - I'll drop the whole "tattoo gone wrong" ordeal if you make him a sweet deal. Well you should feel I'm being gracious because I was about t....

What? You were being sarcastic?

I knew that.

I was just testing you.

All right, I'll give you a day or seventy to think about it. In the mean time, hopefully no plastic pieces will be stuck into my foot requiring surgical removal because I will name you as the person responsible for the bill.


jubilee said...

What an awesome vehicle! "Dear Lego" is right!

jubilee said...

BTW, my 10 year old wants your son to mentor him in Lego building. He was drooling over the pictures and asked if we could visit you and your family. lol

Joanna said...

By the sheer amount of Legos we own, the boy would be in Lego heaven.