Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Another Happy Trip To The Stuffmart

If it wasn't for the fact that we need food and they offer it at low prices, I would avoid this place. And I'm starting to add up the amount we spend and I'm surprised they don't throw welcome back parties for us every time we go.

This trip was, sad to say, almost as bad as the last trip. Had to get the older 2 a couple pairs of pants each and I'm drawing a complete blank as to why it was so high. I did noticed the boys made a huge effort to remember to get food for lunches. It seems they were overly focused on snacks and sort of short changed themselves - at least J did. The other 2 are all about food.

Who informed me that they are 2 months away from turning 16.

And then I blacked out.

When I came to I was sporting a mysteries bruise. Turns out they didn't catch me and just let me face plant right there on the floor near the coffee table which I'm pretty sure is what I bounced off of.

This would be the third time this week I have attempted to do myself in. I may, or may not, get back to that story. Depends on how long this story takes to wrap it up.

So there I was, completely oblivious to the dollar shock I was going to encounter. Checking my list, getting stuff to feed these people who accuse me of skimping. As if. But when I looked up from my list, I found myself surrounded by babies. I was not aware I was in baby land, looked at which aisle I was in, and was reassured I wasn't. Instead baby land exploded and they all landed right around me.

I've come to the conclusion that there are only 2 types of babies - 1) the babies that make your ovaries sigh and say, why yes, I need another, and 2) the babies that make your ovaries shrivel up to the size of raisins and your uterus tries to crawl out of your body to threaten you if you even think about it.

Now here was the kicker - there were plenty of both. So there my poor self was all aww! to ahhh! to aww!! to ahhhh!!!! and back again. It was the weirdest abdominal workout I have ever encountered! And not in a good way. I had to make a mad dash out of there before my internal organs exploded.

It was not pretty. And suddenly the extra bag of chocolate and the 5 bags of Doritos is starting to makes sense now. The Stadium Nacho is so good, I'm starting to think it's sprinkled with crack.

Mmmm, Doritos. *drool*

Then we ran into people we sort of knew. I can't say as I knew them but I had worked in the nursery and I remembered their spawn. Can't say the years have done wonders. Wonder if shock collars would work on them?

Yeah, don't look at me all innocent like. You know there has been at least 1 kid where the thought crossed your mind. See? You have a visual now, don't you? Don't worry, I won't judge. I may even give you pointers on how to hog tie them so they will hold still to apply said collar.

Now if I only knew how to hog tie......

I think if I ever get roped into nursery duty again that will be a skill I will invest in. But the chances of that happening are slim to none so everyone is safe.

In other news, my smart phone is annoying me. I think it likes to brag that it is smarter than me as I can't figure out how to make a couple things work. I've found that my cousin and I can make Skype calls to each other for free. Bonus! But I'm not happy to be losing the home phone because what if the boys need to get a hold of me on those rare occasions I'm actually away from them? Plus I don't talk to anyone except my cousin. Anymore it's mainly through emails. Which I've discovered I text like a severely impaired toddler.

I've been informed that is an insult to the impaired toddler.

Kills me. I can type super duper fast and yet my thumbs have let the team down. Luckily, I discovered swipe which is texting for dummies.

Like me.

Who can't text worth a darn.

Sigh

It has been a huge pain to switch stuff around and blah, blah I'll spare you the details. It's just another log of hurry up and wait to toss on the fire of limbo land. I need to get several things done before this month is up. Like renewing insurance and getting tags for both vehicles and pay off the mafia run cable company before they send someone. Hubby has applied to a few jobs - all of them out of state. New state - new plates. So now I'm wondering.....and waiting....and wondering.....what the heck to do.

All these decisions and the not knowing for the last few YEARS has been a kick in the pants. Where was that darn cliff for me to toss myself off of when I need it? Oh wait, that's right, that would be too freakishly close to being a plan. And we just can't be having that now can we???

Double sigh

At least I have my own bag of Doritos.

3 comments:

Julie said...

Sometimes I think our Walmart wants to give us welcome back banners as well. The last time we shopped it came to $400. Ack! ... Normally it's under $300, but still! This is every 2 weeks! *sigh*

http://scrapgrrl.com/

Joanna said...

Painful, isn't it?

jubilee said...

Our big box store trips are getting more and more alarming. Gone are the days when I could get away with $75 a week. Now I am lucky if I can get away with $150 a week. Ack!

Since giving birth to my seven year old, only one baby has made me briefly flirt with the idea of another. Only one. And it was brief. Very, very brief. lol