Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Hate It When This Happens

Although, I can't say as I've found myself in this predicament before, but I can tell you, I'm not amused. My brain wants to freak out - really, really, really wants to freak out. But for some unexplainable reason my spirit is at peace and is keeping my brain from a full on freak.

Freaky-deaky.

It's like my spirit knows something my brain doesn't. Wait, that's sort of all the time. How to explain? My brain is aware that my spirit knows something it doesn't and for once it's all like, hey! But sadly, the spirit is all nope, you'll just have to wait but you can chillax.

I now have to ask myself if I even know how to chillax or even what that means. (Combo of chill and relax - again not sure I know how to accomplish this)

So here I sit, and wait. And try to override the urge to face plant on the desk over and over and over again until I lose all sense of caring. I think I may be close. Hubby did make me laugh - he said we've been waiting and dreading and wondering when this was going to happen, so now that it's here we're sort of like whatever - moving on.

And I do feel that way. Time to move on. Hopefully to a rodent free house. Oh please Lord, let it be! Between the bats, the squirrels, and the mice I am beyond over it. But the not knowing where we are going is what has me borderline on the freak out stage. Please note this is not to be confused with my general freakiness.

I told one of the boys not to plan out his life because chances of it actually happening are slim to none. He handed me a mini bag of M&Ms. He is such a push over. Although both boys made me feel A LOT better. I was having some serious guilt issues over the lack of them doing driver's ed and then on to a license because it's rather pricey - times 2. They both said they would rather have the X-box than a driver's license. Bless them. At this point I don't care if it was a bold face lie, it eased some serious guilt. But knowing them - it was the honest to goodness truth.

Seriously wish we actually had a season where I wasn't whining about something. I did title this blog as therapy but holy crap! Thought I would be a lot farther along. I don't like knowing the last 6 years have been this hard and it just seems like it's one thing after another. What the heck? I knew there were seasons of life but I think my season is stuck. Does anyone have a big stick I can borrow so as to unstuck this thing?

6 comments:

Michelle said...

If you find that big stick, may I PLEASE borrow it!?

Joanna said...

I say we go all gangsta with it. ;)

Maggie S. said...

Sheesh, sounds like I could have written that post. Except we got no end in sight with this drama. I feel like that too about my blog reflecting back to me.

Please don't change.

Joanna said...

Maggie - Look at the past post of yore to see that I haven't made much progress on the change. Just another case of whine to go with my cheese.

Grumpy Grateful Mom said...

Sorry you're going through a rough time--uhg. Sending a prayer out for you. :)

Joanna said...

Thanks!