Monday, November 7, 2011

It Was Epic!!

I have tried to write this post a couple times but things are still crazy busy around here. I was going to tell ya to grab a snack and try to mush it all into one post but I feel asleep half way through and didn't want to put you through that. So I will either get it all out there or not and you'll just have to know it was awesome and so very needed.

But I do have a funny as only this crap can happen to me.

I made it to Ft. Wayne, IN and by that time I had to pee. I'm talking get out of my way because I will hurt you if you try to block me kind of pee. I know, TMI but there is a reason for sharing this. I get off the highway and things are sort of looking familiar. It's as I pulled into Meijer's that it dawned on me that my folks' apartment is on this same road. Since I was operating with a bladder that was not going to be denied, I threw caution to the wind and pulled over immediately.

(We'll leave off I drove right past a rest stop on the highway and didn't even pay attention.)

As I was walking towards the door I just thought the words 'what are the odds I'll run into someone I actually know?' when right at that exact moment I saw my dad.


He was about 5 seconds from seeing me so I called out dad? and dude about dropped the water he was carrying. He was all what are you doing here? Talk about busted. I had emailed them the night before but sort of left off that I was going to be in the area because I knew he and my mom would want to tag along and my cousin and I kept it quiet specifically for that very reason. That and if her mom would have found out and she would have insisted on coming too.

Oh could we? NOT.

Part of the reason my cousin and I get along so well is we have mother issues. And both of our mom's would have just messed up the whole weekend.

So I fessed up to my dad and he said - quoting here, "I saw that you posted that."

Come again??

He quickly changed the subject but I have to say all the pieces fell into a loud click. I think their friend that found my blog, and still occasionally reads my blog, told them about it. Suddenly the whole e-mail of I'm disrespecting my mom makes sense. He must still be reading the new stuff. Wait until he backs up a few years. That ought to be exciting.

I will say it ticks me off because now I will always wonder of who's reading this. Granted that is the risk you run but it just grates on me that it's one more thing for them to try and ruin. But I will say if he is reading this, it proves my point of the title Howard the coward because pretty chicken to read this and say nothing to my face about it. But then this shouldn't surprise me because heaven forbid we actually talk about anything of importance.

So much for therapy and making progress as now I have THE PROBLEM staring at it. I'm now asking Hubby to apply for a job in California.

After relieving myself, I took dad back to his apartment and he asked me to come in and surprise my mom. She was back on the computer so he started singing, "good morning to you, good morning to you" and I hopped around the corner and sang, "good morning dear sunshine."

Oh irony, I will find you and kill you - slowly.

Mom was all this is a wonderful surprise and went on and on. Thy name is guilt. And true to form, my dad was all we were thinking of coming to the same conference so give me your cell number so we can find you and then we can grab dinner together.

Well played, devil.

They now have my cell number. Made a note to myself to google info on moving to a different country.

It did crack me up that they grabbed their digital camera and was flipping through all their pictures to show me what they've been doing for the last few months. Surely I have the face that portrays the look of 'I don't care' on it.

I guess I was wrong.

They then started arguing over some cousin or something whom I've never met, nor care to meet and blah, blah I zoned out. I think I was having an out of body experience. I had to get going because I was now late meeting up with my cousin. And then I got lost.

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned I have no sense of direction. I'm talking can't find my way out of a wet paper bag type of dysfunction. And what luck, it was working nicely. I called my cousin and she came and found me and after we squealed with delight for a few minutes, we drove back to the airport. I parked my van there to make sure it was safe. At this point, I was paranoid my folks were following me and would have planted listening devices all over it.

If you knew my mother you would totally understand that last sentence. Remember just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

I told my cousin the bullet that was just lobbed at me. And then she had to spend an hour telling me it was just the devil and they really weren't going to come. She turned out to be right but still can.not.believe that I tend to have crappy luck. It was shortly after that we were almost plowed into by a semi-truck. Lovely.

As a side note, I am not a fan of Cleveland, Ohio. Just thought I would toss that out. If you are from there I am so sorry for your luck. We got on a bus to try and find the stadium where the Joyce Meyer Conference was being held and my life flashed before my eyes no less than 20 times. I am still convinced the bus-driver was aiming for pedestrians and parked cars.

By this time, my cousin and I were just a ball of nerves that was beyond frayed. It was evening and we had yet to eat anything. Since running into my dad we were running a little late. And what is the deal that there was no fast food around the hotels?? We pretty much starved the whole weekend but gosh we had Starbucks.

And it wasn't a full service Starbucks with food. Oh goodness no, we can't have that. No, it was a side bar that only made.....wait for

Crickets chirping

I'm thinking this was a mad conspiracy because yikes. But the bonus is I lost weight over the weekend.

BUT...the conference was awesome. The worship was amazing. The messages were a combination of OW, I needed that, and right on the money, with a side of ker-power. She was teaching on the Fruit of the Spirit. In one of the sessions she said that she felt led to pray over people as they have been falsely accused, talked about, deeply betrayed, and have people who were close to them toss them under the bus.

Dude! It's like she knew.

Her prayer was so spot on with everything I've gone through the last few years, I was moved to tears. And I hate to cry in front of people. I've had it used against me too many times.

It was just a really good time. Really needed it. And it's really exhausting to hang out with a 24 year old who's legs are a lot longer than mine. My calf muscles were screaming by the last day.

When we finally got back to Ft. Wayne I was so tired I was about to fall over. I called my folks as they were waiting on me to call them when I got back. Proceeded to get lost - again. Managed to find their place and then was there for the next 5 hours. I kid you not. They fed me and were all being normal. It was weird. When it's just me, it's like they're my parents but if Hubs and the boys are around they act all pissed off.

Talk about your mind bender, your brain scrambler, the yoke cooker. But for whatever reason it woke me up and then I made the trek home. So in a weird sort of way, it was good I stopped because I can say from experience that it's not good to be that tired and head off to drive a couple hours.

The next day was the twins' birthday. 16. I am still in denial, thankyouverymuch.

We took them to Cracker Barrel because I was still exhausted and I didn't feel like making lasagna and a make a birthday cake. So we made sure to stuff ourselves and then just did the cake in the evening. It worked out well.

While I was gone the guys went camping and I sort of blackmailed Jared that if he didn't complain I would take him to see Puss N Boots. That and I had a feeling he was going to bug his brothers because dude is all about the video games. Paid the piper and took him Monday but he came back and gasp bugged his brothers for a turn.

I knew this was going to go down like this and tried to prepare him and all involved, so I feel that I went above and beyond the call of duty only to be shot down and burn into a pile of ashes.

After I banged my head into the wall several times, I made lasagna and Jared something different. I think I would have snapped if he would have complained about dinner again. Once all that was done and the air was all cleared, Hubby informed me that work is slowing down as in not sure if he's working the rest of the week.

Reality can go away any second now.


Julie said...

That post left me a bit exhausted. *lol*

Glad you enjoyed the conference, even if you did manage to run into the parentals.

Happy birthday to the boys!!!!!

Maggie S. said...

16...year old boys are not making my life better, right now. I hope yours are delightful.

Cracker Barrel...mmmm. Thank God for birthdays.

Isn't it amazing to have someone pray stuff they couldn't possibly know?

Sounds like my mom. I just can't believe how much everything you say about your mom sounds like my relationship with my mom.

Kerri said...

WOW! I am so behind on your blog, but I linked you in mine today and I'm so glad I did because I SO did not want to miss this post.

OH. MY GOSH!!!!! What are the odds of running into your DAD in a freakin' McDonalds because you had to PEE??? Only you girl. Only you.

Dang. Sounds like the conference was FANTASTIC! That's very cool..., you are my heroine for riding a bus in Cleveland. DANG again. You be BRAVE!

We MUST get out next week some night and catch up!!
Love you!

Joanna said...

Thanks Julie!

Maggie - I'm starting to think I need to form a club on how to survived a mother. Wonder if it was a time era or if that generation are nothing but a bunch of robots because what the heck?

Kerri - this is me so need I say any more?!?

jubilee said...

I lived just a bit south of Cleveland and I never went there if I could help it! Now, if Joyce ever shows up in Columbus or the Polaris area, then you are set! Lots of stuff to do and places to eat!

Could you not have accidentally transposed a couple of the numbers of your cell when writing it down for your parents? lol

Joanna said...

Jubilee - they called my cell right there to make sure it worked.