Friday, December 2, 2011

Holy Jammie Pants, Batman!

Sadly, we have been in our local stuffmart way more than normal this week. I've said a time or 50 that I can't help but feel that society is truly in the toilet after seeing so many people out and about in public in their pj's.

I wasn't allowed out of the house unless my hair was combed.

And I'm starting to think this may be a style trend. Jammie pants, boots or slippers, coat, and 2 different types of scarves.


When we had to go grocery shopping it was surprisingly peaceful. However, we stopped counting how many pj's we saw sashaying through the aisles. Every imaginable print you can think of and it was both male and female offenders.

Again I ask, really??

This is not helping me with Jared who has the Jethro gene, aka redneck, floating through his veins that randomly show up. He started to point out everyone who passed by and declared, rather loudly, that THEY are wearing pj's in public and wanted to know why he couldn't. Turns out that people who wear this outfit have no problem hearing, because I was given many a dirty look when I replied, "because we have higher standards on what is acceptable and appropriate while in public."

My favorite was a woman of grandma age that was in pink jammie pants with penguins all over them, matching top, cute boots, and coat WITH matching scarf and mittens.

Jared took one look at her and said, "well at least she jazzed up the bum look up."

It was at that moment I chose to concentrate REALLY hard on my grocery list because there was no way in the world I was going to make eye contact with her. This continued for the next 6 aisles. He came up with something new every.single.aisle.

We're not really sure why we let him live.

But I will say it was freaking hilarious.

By aisle 6, she was pissed and chose to end her shopping or just picked up the pace. I can't say as I blame her because would you want to hear, "hey those penguins look really festive and happy to be out of the house" over and over again?

The sad thing is Nicholas and I took one look at each other and busted out laughing. Hubby and Michael had their poker faces on. N and I do not posses poker faces and J has no clue what that means. So 3 out of 5 of us were laughing so hard we started to snort while the other 2 casually chuckled. We get to the end of the aisle and Michael said ever so quietly, "I bet she'll think twice before wearing that again in public." and Nicholas said, "well if she runs into us again, I'm sure we'll refresh her memory."

And I lost it again.

Took me 5 minutes to stop laughing because the look on this lady's face? P-r-i-c-e-l-e-s-s.

I'm pretty sure we're flagged on their security. The greeters recognize us and some are genuinely happy to see us and there are 2 that always give me that stern look like behave yourself young lady.

As if.

I feel the amount of pain and suffering I go through just shopping there entitles me to be bat sh*t insane just like everyone else. I'm at least dressed and as a bonus I wear undergarments. So help me I will scream discrimination if they try to kick me out.

At least I'm not like my FIL who has been known to go into the fitting area and ask other people for a roll of toilet paper.

I wish I were kidding.


Dianne said...

it is so nasty to see old men in pj bottoms

Joanna said...

Ugh, totally!

jubilee said...

I think my husband looks hot in his pj bottoms, but I'd never let him (and he'd never attempt to) leave the house in them!

It's like you are advertising to the world, "Hey, I didn't shower today!"


Carrie said...

Girl, do NOT get my blood pressure up so early with this stuff.

I swear I sometimes find myself getting actually ticked at people who walk around like that.

Then I have to stop and remind myself I have better things to waste that energy on.

It might not be as fun, but it is better.

I really hate that though. I'm no beauty queen, but I hate to see someone who put absolutely NO EFFORT into it.

Then expects me to NOT stare.

Joanna said...

Jubilee - what happens at home can stay at home. There were a lot of people sporting this outfit that hadn't seen the business of a washcloth in a few days.

Carrie - I hear ya! Since I'm already on the edge of losing it while shopping as it is, we sort of turn that frown upside down and laugh AT people. Works like a charm! Granted people might throw things at us but we're to busy pointing and laughing to notice.

Maggie S. said...

That's the spirit!!! We;re in the south, so our small city is blessed with 5 Wal_Farts.

We have employed every possible strategy of coping with the pain. I like your way best.

I think I will just stop shshing them. Yesterday, I saw a gal in Kroger with jammie bottoms on that were clearly filthy. I gagged a little.