Sunday, December 11, 2011

I Am Laughing Hysterically

What can be so hysterical you may wonder?

Or not. But that's besides the point.

I am laughing hysterically because reality showed up and danced on someone else's head other than mine for once and it's been comical. And I will own up to the fact that I tossed my head back and cackled with glee. I am still feeling ooey
and gooey which, I am sure, will come back to get me.

I have joked around for years that the rapture was going to have to happen before my twins started to drive because I wasn't sure I could handle that amount of stress - times 2.

And lo, the twins were slightly offended - hurt even that I thought they didn't have what it takes to operate a vehicle.

Fast forward to a few days ago....or maybe that's rewind to a few days ago. I was out running errands with my posse so I started to tell them to pay attention and pretend they are driving. Did you see that car pull out? Does that other douche bag driver look like he's going to pull out in front of me? On and on I tossed out the questions.

I even had them sit behind the wheel and starting to get them familiar with hey, this is a dashboard. Because as a homeschooling momma, I try to get them to start thinking about it now and how to approach it before shoving them behind the wheel and wishing them the best of luck. This, of course, will be while I drink myself into oblivion because my life flashed before my eyes - times 2.

And my how the reality, and the full blown panic, has set in. On their end.

We all knew I would have issues over this whole ordeal. And they are accustom to see me freaking out on a regular basis over any and everything, but for the freak out to be on their end was, well, rather humbling for them.

I'm still cackling over it.

Me, being me, has noticed the rapture hasn't happened to date, so I have decided to pony up and now I bring it up all the time. I haven't freaked out - yet, but they haven't actually driven yet. I'm pretty sure I have on a couple occasion given them massive overload and have fried their little brains.

They now look at me like I have some super human power to be able to do it all with ease. There is a bit of respect looking at me from Nicholas' general direction. And that takes a lot for him. Both are looking at me like, "please don't make me, mommy!!!" And after knowing how hurt and offended they have been for years, I can.not.stop.laughing.

I'm sure that isn't a wise thing to do but that's where I'm at right now. This may just be how I'm coping. I'm not sure. And before we say just let dad teach them....who do you think is going to be stuck in the vehicle with them racking up their practice hours? Dad who works? Or mom who is the house slave to everyone else's agenda, has no life, and has been right there every step of their life?

Hmm, that sounded slightly bitter.

But so painfully true.

I'm the better driver on the merit I can stay awake even when I'm tired. Chances are rather high that it's going to be freaking me to do this. I've heard so many people say I have it easy because I can pass off all the hard challenging issues to Hubby. That is an urban myth!! That hasn't happened on ANY subject. Did I mention they are 16???

I am a firm believer that it takes guts and grit to raise boys. And if you don't think you have either, just wait - you will find yourself saying things and doing things you never thought you could or would. All to push these wild crazy boys onto the next level. Because the thought of them failing and just hanging around you the rest of their lives is not an option. If that doesn't put grit in your giddy-up-and-go, I don't know what will.

The boys did beg not to have to drive Clifford the big red work truck. Frankly, I'm right there with them because I'm not a fan of driving that thing either. I now find myself in this odd predicament of having to give pep talks to the guys that they can do this, yet keeping my freak outs away from them because that causes them to have a relapse.

Please kill me off now. They haven't even driven once and the drama is at this level. I'm not sure any of us can take it if it gets amped up.


Carrie said...

Oh, wow. I can't remotely begin to imagine having a teenaged driver. MUCH LESS 2!

That kinda makes me dizzy.

I know my nieces are getting pretty darn close though.

And I will totally is sheer heaven when someone else gets hit with that reality crap.

Sheeeer heaven.

jubilee said...

Grit in your giddy up and go?

Now I AM laughing hysterically!

You need a big empty parking lot or a friend's farm and work truck for enough space!

Joanna said...

Carrie - I just love the sound of sheeeer heaven. Muwahaha!

Jubilee - I'm thinking parking lot as well. I'm just not ready to take the plunge yet.

Maggie S. said...

See, you understand. If someone can't see the mayonnaise on the kitchen counter to put it away, how the freak am I gonna be able to imagine them behind the wheel of a car?

Julie said...

Two at the same time! Ack! ... Jared will be 14 next month, so I still have a year before he can get his permit.

Yes, that just hit me. A year.