Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Well That Was Fast

And now I feel rather silly. You may be asking what could make me feel silly other than me taking in air? Or maybe you were thinking I was only having a moment of silly, which I would then ask if you even know me. Then again, you may just be thinking get to the freaking point you long winded freak.

Yeah, I'm thinking it's the 3rd option.

And on a side note I feel all weird calling Fred - Fred instead of Hubs. I may go back just for the sake of sameness. I'll see how the fingers type it out and just go with it. Which means don't be surprised if I use both.

Moving on -

Lots of changes for the clan of bugville. Lots of prayers, a whole lot of hurry up and wait, and feeling at peace even though there are elements of stress. Wait, I just described life in a nutshell. Let me explain - there's not enough time.

A couple years ago Fred had a dream to move to a different state and we were all yes! let us go forth and blow this popsicle stand. Then when we started to figure it out and tried to plan, nothing panned out. A year-ish goes by and it seems like the whole thing was just a chili dream after all. But one thing was certain, we are to leave this state. I think if I ask God one more time, "are ya sure?" He's going to fry me on the spot. Since I don't tan well, I think I will bypass the frying.

Turns out pharm techs need state license especially if they want to work in a hospital which Fred is aiming for. And by aiming I mean he's flying down to Texas in a couple weeks to get trained and certified to mix IVs.

That noise? Um, that's just one, or both, of us slightly screaming at all the freaking out. Dude is totally prepared for this. He's studied, he's passed the tests, it's just getting down there and doing it all. And after looking at some of this stuff, I felt like the dumbest person to own a pencil. After listening to him rattle this stuff off, and he totally understands it, I smacked dude upside the head for not going after this stuff years ago.

My hand still hurts.

So to get back to the whole title. Turns out those state licenses vary by state. Lots of jobs in Texas but charge $75 plus another $40 for a background check. Arkansas was the original state we were aiming at but want $65 plus the background. Verses Indiana who only wanted $25 plus the background check. Not to mention what it would cost to rent a u-haul and expenses equaled up to no freaking way can we afford to move there. Indiana is the winner! And so long as we don't live in the same city as my folks, we are all on board.

This meant last Saturday Fred had to go get fingerprinted. I would like to point out I found it totally messed up I gave him pointers on how to get fingerprinted. I would also like to point out I spent a few days freaking out thinking my messed up family somehow tainted dude's squeaky clean record. He had to point out my record is squeaky clean too as I was never charged in my parents' fiasco of fighting the law and losing big time.

But still....paranoia runs deep with my family.

I was just lamenting about this over dinner. I pointed out all my failed attempts to join the witness protection program and I how my blog got flagged once or 20 times. Surely we were on someone's list of people to keep an eye on. Dramatic - I can be.

We were at the store when Fred got a notice he's approved and got his license. Well okay then. But then I sputtered it was supposed to take 4 weeks! About this time I started to think of about 500 things all at once. I was later told I let out a noise that sounded like a duck being strangled. I started to ask how would they know but thought better of it.

See? I can learn. Sort of.

I was going over things with the guys and I said this is going to be some serious crazy mcdazy few weeks. And then they all laughed at me. You would think after all the made-up words I've pulled they would be used to it. You would be wrong.

The snafu in this scenario is that the boys' stuff doesn't end until middle of April. So they are freaking out telling their dad not to get a new job until then. BUT we have to be out by middle of June.

No pressure. None whatsoever. I live on the edge. I eat this stress for breakfast. Holy $*^^$@$#@#$%&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buckle up riders, this is going to be a bumpy ride!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

So Sad

I know I get teased by the guys that y'all are my imaginary friends, but for me I've gotten to know some sweet people. People I would never have had the opportunity to get to know on any level. It is with a sad heart to know that Dianne went home to be with Jesus yesterday. She was battling cancer. Another dear woman claimed by an ugly disease.

While I can rest knowing she is in a better place, it doesn't take away the pain of the void she's left behind. Praying for her family and friends.

Hug some of your peeps today. We're not promised tomorrow.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Rotten Rodents!

I am not a fan of the rodent clan. We've had issues. Lots of issues. But this took the cake in the squirrel department.

For months Jared has been freaking out insisting that there was a squirrel loose upstairs. His computer and school stuff is right near the stairs and he is convinced the squirrel is going to come down the stairs or run all willy-nilly through the upstairs.

Granted, we've had bat issues as well. But I just wasn't buying it that a squirrel was actually in the living area. We know they're in the walls as we can hear them. I kept reassuring him that it's not in the area near the bathroom upstairs but it was in between the ceiling and floor.

Turns out I was waaay wrong.

Jared was doing what Jared does best and that is to freak out. This is my child after all and freaking + out is what I tend to be all about. Now I want to do the hokey-pokey and ponder if that really IS what it's all about.

Anyhoo, freaked out kid. Sent Nicholas to go upstairs and stomp around to see if it would shut the squirrel up because it sounded like it was either training for a marathon, or it was trying out for the ballet. Might have been a tie.

Nicholas came quickly back downstairs to inform me that yes there really is a squirrel upstairs and it peeked it's head out to stare at him near where his keyboard is. Whoopsies. Too bad Jared overheard this because I got to hear I TOLD YOU SOOOO for the next 10 minutes.

Again, this is my child so I don't even bat an eyelash.

Lucky me, I had to go investigate. But I had 2 teenagers right behind me that were suddenly armed with knives, brooms, and a plastic bag.

I will so give their dad credit - they were prepared. I'm not exactly sure for what, but they were prepared for whatever was going to go down.

The only upside to this was the squirrel was rather cute looking and it didn't freak me out to the degree that the bats do. However, the love of his cuteness ended when it charged at me. Me, who channeled her inner 2 year old, managed to scream AND smacked the thing in mid-air with a broom all at the same time. I don't think I have ever been that coordinated in my life.

I was applauded by my posse saying way to connect.

You know it's moments like this that I feel that life has somehow totally lied to me and was playing a huge joke because ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????

Skippy then decided to crawl up the shelves and start to jump from wall to wall only to slam into the wall and slide down with a dazed and confused look on it's face. If I wasn't afraid of it charging me and mauling my face off, I would have been on the floor, panting for air from laughing so hard.

But I think I ticked him off because then he dove at me again. Chivalry is not dead! Because Nicholas jumped in to save his momma and smacked the sucker with his own broom. Michael leaped around me and had a mop and was going to pin the thing and I'll leave off what he suggested they do next.

Skippy fearing for his life, jumped out of the way at the last second and flew faster than any rodent I have ever seen move. Then again, I can't say as I've observed a lot of rodent movement as I would be too busy screaming to give a fair judgement of the speed it was going.

I had posted a little bit of this on Facebook. I'm still laughing that a friend put "Take the high ground and never surrender!!" I responded that since it's upstairs, it took the higher ground so we're screwed!

After about a few minutes of us not having any luck. I suggested we all go downstairs and let the thing make a beeline out of the house. Sure enough about 15 minutes later it made a mad dash to it's exit. Just wished I knew where that is so it can get sealed up right quick.

Crazy, crazy day. I've had people tell me I will grieve when we have to move out of the house. I'm not so sure about that. I mean yes, there is a part of me that is sad but there are a lot of issues with this house and I'm actually okay with leaving them behind. Once we're settled somewhere I'll be able to just take a deep breath. It's been a lot of years of a lot of unknown. I'm not a fan of unknown. Or squirrels. Or bats for that matter. Or for freezing all.the.time in this drafty house.

Is it wrong that my daily prayer is for the next place to be rodent free?

And what happy day! When Fred heard about all this, he came home with these hurkin rat traps. My eyes may have rolled back into my head, and I'm pretty sure the room spun. It was like a mouse trap on crack, hopped up on energy drinks. Oh my freaking gosh this can't be good!

I now have this mental picture playing through my head of the squirrel tearing all through the house all tangled up in this thing, bleeding all over the place, and squeaking in pain while Jared and I scream right along with it, and Michael whipping out a machete to chop it's head off while Nicholas cleans up the mess.

I bet that was an accurate play on a hypothetical scenario.

I'm still trying to figure out how I got stuck living out an Over The Hedge nightmare.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

And Now I Will Do The Snoopy Dance Of Happy

I just made myself laugh with my own title. That has to be a sign of something, just not sure what.

While others are in the mood for love, we got our tax return. After my sixth lap around the house screaming, "hooray, we're not broke any more!!!" I stopped to ask when the state one should arrive. While it's presence won't cause me to bust a move, it will make me smile all purdy like and then get down to business of ordering school stuff for next year.

Talk about your kill-joy. But if nothing else, I am practical.

I can't say that this falls under practical but, Hubby now has a twitter account AND a facebook account. Why he did this I'm not sure. When you look in the dictionary, under the word anti-social, I'm pretty sure his picture is there. He actually made the comment that since he's like in my virtual play-land, as he likes to call it, I have permission to use his name instead of Hubs.

*Blink, blink*

We'll just keep all real quiet like that this is the first time you're hearing his name.

And while I do love that guy named Fred, he can be a bit clueless on some things. I find this amazing because he picks up on stuff that fly right by me. Granted, I'm not the sharpest bowling ball out there but I can be rather quick on picking up stuff.

I tried to point out that most of my InterPeeps already know his name. He gave me a look but I really didn't have the energy or the ambition to try and figure it out, so I just tossed chocolate at his face. It actually worked. He's not feeling too hot. Michael caught something while at the group thing last Saturday. Sunday he looked liked death warmed over. Jared has been wiped out all day, and Fred came home looking like crap. Nicholas said his throat was a bit scratchy.

I told these sickos to get the hell away from me.

And this time I don't care if that cost me the Mother of the Year Award.

I am the hub of this wheel and I don't see any of these slacker picking up the pace around here so if I go down, we're all going down. And that doesn't work for me. I got too much crap to do the next couple of weeks.

This month is getting away from me. I don't like that. Have some stuff I need to get done but that lack of ambition combined with my super procrastination levels total cramps getting around to it. Then I find myself at this frantic pace of hurry up!!! Vicious cycle that doesn't seem to go away.

Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Word For The Day Is....


I know this shocks no one but I tend to....lose....focus....sometimes. Or a lot. And I can say it's never a dull moment in my head because I can go off in different directions all at once. But when I come to the realization that I only have 1 body is when it tends to get complicated especially when my mind is screaming to do 5 things at once.

I've hard I'm quite hilarious when this inner struggle shows up because let us not forget that I tend to talk to myself, all the time, and sometimes out loud. If I'm in a weird enough mood I will have different voices to at least pretend I'm not totally insane.

Note to self - beware of all large sized white jackets with extra straps and buckles.

I don't think it's an attention issue. I'm actually purdy good at those attention details. I do have to stay on my case to finish the thing I started. I have wised up to this trick and now I'm having to battle to start things.

Hate when I outsmart myself.

So now I'm in a fierce rock, paper, scissors battle....with myself. Oh the happy I am feeling to know it has come to this.

That was sarcasm, people. Please keep up.

Where was I? Oh yes the word focus. And how I have none. Here's what I have going through my head:

Me: So self, I guess we need to focus.
Self: Where do you get this we? I'm focused, you're the one that can't concentrate.
Me: I beg to differ. We both know you tend to get easily side-tracked. Then you go off about how I don't stick to the to-do list.
Self: That is my attempt to motivate you to keep at it. Should I remind you about the avalanche of dirty clothes?
Me: Yes, how about we go there - the reason there was an avalanche was because you wouldn't get off the computer and...
Nicholas: Hey mom, what do you want me to put down for this think problem? Does it want me to answer both parts or to combine it into 1 answer?
Jared: Help! It wants me to do what?
Michael: Can I have lunch?

20 minutes later

Me: Um, what where we talking about?
Self: I have no idea. Wanna discuss the list?
Me: Not really.
Self: Same here. How about Pinterest?
Me: Oooo I love the way you think!

This is a great discovery that it's not entirely my fault for my lack of focus. So now I have all this focus but I have zero want to on what it is I'm focusing on. Whee. And why do I always see everything I need to clean?!?

Wait, what was that Self? It's a Monday? Well that figures. Makes total sense. I am now going back to bed and won't appear until it's a better day where the focus and the want to will be BFFs. Right now they aren't speaking to each other.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Mush To The Mush

That pretty much sums up my brain right now. I've tried to write this post like 3 times and it just wasn't happening. Wednesday was crazy busy and Thursday blew by so fast I couldn't even really tell you what I accomplished. I can tell you it wasn't anything I had on my to-do list.

Got a lot of stuff graded and I'm seeing the same issues with Jared that his brothers had with the same curriculum. Frustrating. But at least I know NOW what to look out for and I can change some things up for him. I thought he was all set for next year with school stuff, now I'm not so sure. At least I didn't place my order yet for next year's stuff.

That's sort of looking at the bright side....I guess.

What an incredibly odd feeling that is! Surely this is just a fluke.

And speaking of fluke's - Alrighty, mah sistas. Is it normal for the hormones to change when they show up? I have been warned to batten down the hatches when 40s show up but I'm not there yet, so I can't figure out what the deal is. While I've never had normal cycles and all that, it was pretty much a given that I would go bat sh*t insane crazy shortly before aunt flo graced us with her presence. I'm still accused of hoarding all the chocolate to which I argued it was either the chocolate or I kill all their stupid selves off.

But I'm now finding the insane chocolate hoarding, eye twitching, dear God you people are beyond stupid crazies are showing up shortly after aunt flo left. This has left me, and the males of the house, completely confused.

I found myself today popping evening primrose oil pills like tic-tacs, tossing back the chocolate like water, and fighting tears all day. Hubby got home and I told him if he valued his life, he would say nothing stupid or to anger the beast. After he realized I wasn't kidding, he asked permission to speak. After deciding that was a smart answer, permission was granted. He asked if he should remain quiet the rest of the evening or if that would make me feel shunned thus angering the she-beast.

Dude is a lot smarter than what I thought.

I told him to have a conversation in non-stupid and he may make it out alive. Then I realized what gender he is and wished him the best of luck. I did tell him I didn't give him high marks for making it. We ended up watching TV most of the night to keep it on the down low.

Pitiful. But effective.

Evening primrose oil has definitely put the brakes on the crazy, wild, emotions but I've noticed when I take it this early, it triggers a faster visit from auntie. And while it is no wear near as bad as yesteryear, I'm still not a fan of her visits. So what is a crazy she-beast supposed to do? I took the pill just to keep the urge from smacking all male persons upside the head. Since I live with 4 guys, they appreciated it immensely and have now call that the miracle pill, the answer, the problem solver, the chocolate saver, the she-beast destroyer, the manna from heaven etc.

They get creative when it's safe for them to crawl out from behind the couch.


There are days I really wonder why the heck I have the faulty wiring version of wo-man.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Seriously Wal-Mart, Seriously??

It was one of those grocery runs. The kind of run that pretty much tells the world that you were down to your last box of mac n cheese, the last bag of ramen noodles, and everyone seemed to be out of various shampoos, toothpaste, and/or deodorant.

I think I could sum it up as The Clampits Went A Shoppin'.

Now that I think about it, I can't really point the finger at stuffmart. I was just having a bit of trouble locating stuff. For instance, they had these seasonal pumpkin flavored almonds which 3 out of the 5 of us love. Found a few canisters of them....on the bottom of a skid of other nuts.

I looked at Michael, who is a fan of these nuts, and I smiled really purdy like and he came strutting over to help his mumsy in distress. Either that or he really wanted those almonds too. Might be a bit of both. I had dude lift the corner of the skid while I grabbed a can and then had to snag a can from up top and shoved it under. I may have yelled got it, run for your life! I may have said if you hear a loud crash, make a break for the door. Or not - it's all a bit fuzzy to me now.

And that's the truth, Your Honor. Sort of.

I did have a slight visual of me being hauled off in cuffs screaming, "I was framed and it was their own fault for putting the out of season stuff on the bottom anyway" and then go on to declare I will sue for food poisoning.

I really need to get out more.

Either that or find a hobby. Because I tend to come up with that crap all the time and oddly enough it usually involves me threatening to sue stuffmart. I wonder if my new hobby can be to sneak in a paintball gun and shoot people who are wearing jammie pants. I have a feeling that would be frowned upon at that establishment.

Back to finding a hobby.

Considering the sheer amount of stuff we bought, I'm rather surprised but somewhat close to a happy-ish kind of feeling on the total. The funny part is I was so in the zone, I could have walked right by every person I have ever known and wouldn't have had a clue. So if I blew anyone off - my bad. Needless to say, I found it rather amusing that Hubs was talking away to someone and it took me a few minutes to figure out it was a person....who we know....and she didn't run in the other direction.

Go figure.

It was a long lost friend I hadn't seen in ages. She's one of those friends you can not see for years and still just click with. Good thing they weren't busy because we had the baking aisle blocked off and was just gabbing away.

After we pulled ourselves away, I was back in the zone making sure I got everything on my list. Somehow I missed my cousin calling which is a bit odd for me. The sad part was I didn't discover I missed her call until my FIL was trying to call my phone. Gosh I...must...have...not...heard it, yeah! That's the ticket!

And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

I guess that's why I'm all annoyed with Wal-Mart - I have all these feelings of angst while at their store, therefore it must be their fault somehow. Works for me!

We did manage to sail right past evil Edna and got a guy who talked my legs off about how excited he is about Star Wars 1 coming out in 3D. I now know that they will be releasing all 6 movies in 3D.

I bet you are as underwhelmed as I am.

But I now find myself wanting to hunt George Lucas down and ask how much money does he really need?

Actually no, I would turn all starstruck and talk goober-ese and ask if he would please make more Star Wars films because I simply don't have enough of his product in my home. Have I mentioned how Jared begs me to watch the Clone Wars with him? No? That's probably because I'm too busy hitting myself over the head to bother mentioning it.

Think I will call it a night and go pass out because tomorrow night I get to sit through another music practice.

Hold me, I beg of you.


Or what you other people call the Super Bowl. Don't give a flying fart about sports. And now that I typed that out don't all farts fly? So I guess there is nothing special about a flying fart after all and now I need to come up with something else.


I don't give a flying fig about sports.

We'll just go with it.

And as I've stated before, neither does the Hubs. For whatever reason, probably boredom, a few years ago we started a snack-a-thon to watch the many commercials and go pee during the game. Because we're off the hook like that.

I also think we have reached a new low that we will use pretty much any excuse to go crazy on the snacks. And by crazy we had so much stuff the guys ate leftover snacks for dinner while I went out with Kerri. Fun was had by all and that's all that really matters.

There were a few good commercials but I thought it wasn't as good as last year's stuff. I'm not even going to say what a snooze fest the half-time show was. I'll even restrain from saying how bad the lip-sync was or that a 53 year old shouldn't skip in heels or like ever. And I won't say how I started laughing when she almost fell. But I will say we missed the rest of it because we all got up and got another round of snacks and drinks and was spared the rest of the show.

I bet you're so glad I showed such restraint.

It was a good game to watch. Although I'll be honest, I didn't have a clue what was going on. I didn't care who won so I spent this time trying to figure out what was going on. But when the guy stopped right before the touchdown and sat down....I gave up. Now I remember why I used to just root for the ball when I was growing up. Saved so much time and effort.

In other who cares news, I think all 12 year olds should be shipped away until they can reconnect with their brains. Oy vey. That is a stage that has tried to be the death of me.

Jared has just been super weird since the beginning of the year. Personally, I think the cloud of stupid has him in some form of super hold that I have yet to break off of him. I thought about using a chair but after trying that on the older 2 with no luck, I'll just save the chair. He got mad at me the day after New Years that I didn't cut his hair like RIGHT NOW!!! Because goodness knows I have nothing better to do than to wait on them hand and foot. So he cut his bangs and then tried to lie his way out of it.


Yes, let's try to tell the person who cuts your hair that she's just seeing things. And further tell this person you have no idea how those mysterious hair fibers landed in the trash and all over the floor.

I remember this stage. And I'm not a fan of it. We could just look back at the beginning of this blog's existence and see the many adventures, and bad grammar, of yore of twin 12 year olds who were also infected with stupid-itis. But that will cause me to shudder and possibly to start rocking back and forth as I chant "find a happy place".

Good granny! Buckle up your seat-belts cuz here we are again.

Then these last few weeks dude has been extra clingy and snippy at his brothers with anything that has to do with music. These guys eat, sleep, and breathe music so it has been a constant snip fest which tends to get the eye twitch a going. Why they would want to bring that crusty chick out to play with is beyond me because she doesn't play nice. But he's not happy that THEY get to do something and, yet again, he is left out in the cold of the twin duo thing.

I do feel bad, however, there isn't much I can do. We have done the homeschool co-ops which were just brutal. Almost drove me to drink quantities I am unable to afford. We have done church groups but for whatever reason can never find any with kids around their age. Not to mention there have been nothing but nothing on the church front. Call me crazy but I think integrity is a big must and we can't seem to find a church that actually believes that yes means yes, and no means no. Toss in moving out of state in a few months and we're left in a holding pattern of wait-a-minute.

I'm starting to wonder if life on earth is just really the waiting room for eternity. That's kind of depressing.

But I told Jared to hang in there because in a few more weeks I'm loading him up and taking him with me on this crazy mission from God to go bless my psycho mother. She'll behave if he's around and he'll get all the attention. 2 for the price of 1.

Too bad it's my pride that is the price. Dagnabbit.

I gave him what my plan will hopefully be and he about did cartwheels. He loves to go out to eat and just run errands which is weird because he is the first to whine his feet hurt. But we'll be gone allll day and it will just be him and his brothers will stay home. Because honestly, I'm going to have a hard enough time with my own attitude, I sure as heck don't need their crappy attitudes to boot. Jared can be gracious to my folks verses I finally got the other 2 to stop sneering in their direction.

Good times.

I will say one thing about guys - you can pretty much buy them off, bribe them, and/or get them to do anything so long as food is involved. I am convinced the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Thursday, February 2, 2012


I think my brain is crying uncle. I'm not sure I know what day, month, or possibly even year it is. In my brain's defense it is still a new year and now a new month. But don't even ask me what day it is because I'll give you a freaked out look and then scream, "You don't know?!? Who's going to tell me???"

What? This surprises you how?

Wednesday night I loaded up the older 2 to take them to practice and was just around the corner from our house when 2 deer walked out of the neighborhood, even used the crosswalk, and slowly trotted across the street and almost right in front of me. I saw the first one but didn't the second. Thankfully Michael said, "there's another 1" and I saw it just as it jumped in front of us but the law abiding deer moved it and therefore didn't lose it.

My pulse wasn't so sure it wanted to recover.

When we came back home, I discovered Hubs and Jared almost buried in Legos. While my toes cursed their existence, I was glad to see Hubby still being able to indulge his inner child and hope to see many hours of bonding between these 2 as the older 2 told him to grow up.

Apparently there are some bitter feelings over Nerf. 1 person of the guy equation declared it beneath him to play anymore. The more laid back twin said while it's not top on his list, he could be persuaded. This has left Hubs and Jared all dejected as the epic Nerf wars of yore are no more.

I don't give a rat's patooty.

But I also found out Hubby wasn't working and since I was dragging my feet, and my behind, I declared Thursday was now slated to be a Groundhog Day movie marathon. Which sort of worked, sort of not. We only ended up watching the movie once. Hubby and I ended up running a couple errands like getting stamps. I hate getting stamps. I have to try and get out of our driveway which is no easy task at certain hours of the day, like daylight. Then I get to drive around the building a time or 20 just to find a parking spot, then get to stand in line all to get the ugliest stamps I've ever seen.

No shock why the post office is in deep doo-doo. Especially since we get the 1 mailman who STILL can't seem to figure out how this thing works. We've complained to the post office and all they do is to continue to ignore our complaints.

Moving far away is sounding better by the day.

After we watched the movie I had to get dinner going. I have no idea what I did with my time after dinner because the next thing I know American Idol was on. I couldn't even blame the time suck on Pinterest because I wasn't even on the computer. But I will say about AI is wow there are some people in serious denial.

Here's hoping tomorrow - whatever day it is - will go better. Hubby has work and I'm making the guys do school work. I have a feeling it's going to feel like a Monday and that is a crying shame thing to do to a Friday.

I hope it forgives me.