Tuesday, March 27, 2012

And Again I Say, Oh Mah Word

Did someone pour me into a blender and hit frappe? Sure does feel like it.

Still in a lot of pain. Not happy about it. Can't do jack. Have to rely on the guys to get stuff done. While I give them all great big, puffy heart applause for all their work....I don't like not being able to do things. Like stand up straight for 5 minutes or bend over to tie my shoes without pain washing over my arm. Not a fan of pain.

My folks showed up and had a peaceful visit. Had to shake my head and just laugh. We had a bet going on that mom was going to be wearing the sweatshirt that is older than my children that sort of prompted the whole shopping trip. Sure enough, she was wearing it. I sort of teased her I was going to set it on fire - while she was wearing it.

She said I'm really funny. Oh! Yes! Yes, I'm hilarious. Totally kidding. *mutters quietly to self*

Had them go through a couple things and was really relieved she wasn't mad when I informed her we are going to have to leave the crusty piano behind. She said made sense. And I think that's when I blacked out as I don't remember much after that.

I almost had to beat Fred to death as he attempted to pack up our kitchen. We are not at that stage yet so had to grab him by his lower lip and said, "heel!" Impatience is at an all time high around here.

So is the drama.

Boys are coming down to the last couple weeks before their worship night. And the freak? They are doing it. They have to get their final projects in by next week. They both wrote a song and dang! they have some hidden skills here. I think I slightly misunderstood something. We were looking into getting a digital recorder and was going to record their songs and send it in. Just got an email saying they need to be ready to present/show their project next week. I'm not looking forward to passing that along because they are freaking out enough as it is.

They are both really nervous about performing. They have worked their tails off! No one can accuse them of slacking because, oh my word, the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that have been put into this whole thing - times 2! But the nerves have shown up and I don't know whether to smack them with pillows or feed them chocolate. If they don't calm down soon, probably both.

So the next couple weeks are going to be a blur of activity. I am so hoping this is my last week of chiropractor visits because going a month in this much pain and this little amount of sleep is just ugly.

Dear life - please stop giving me so much crazy!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Where Was I?

Dagnabbit. I had this whole blogpost in my head and now it's gooooone.

This can't be a good sign. You know I'll just end up rambling about not much of anything. Which is rather fitting because I feel about 82 right now. Apologies to the 82 yr olds out there, but it's safe to say none of them are reading this. I'm all hunched over and reduced to just sitting on a rocking chair with an ice pack. It's come to this? My BFF is an ice pack I might have named Maude?

Wild woman I turned out to be.

I went to round 6 of chiropractor appointment. I may have decided to raise a white flag and asked to be put down instead as I have to go back in another week. I'm feeling better, not as much pain, but I can't do squat. I have the endurance of a gnat with a broken wing, and a crumpled leg or 3. Not really sure how many legs they have, nor do I care. But I'm thinking in that condition, gnat isn't doing much.

On the happy side, I am getting out of doing any packing. Actually, I'm not allowed to pack ever because apparently I found new levels of suckage at packing a box. Who knew I had such mad skills? But at least Fred feels better by saying, "Just sit there and rest." Saves him the trouble of reminding me I can't pack very well. Not like I have forgotten this fact, but it cracks me up as he tries to tell me to step away from the boxes.

Fine with me, buddy!

The 1 golden lining of foreclosure - you can leave the junk behind!! You're being kicked out by a certain date. Oops, guess we ran out of time to take care of all that junk. Not gonna lie, I'm slightly giggling over it.

It's funny because I'll walk into a room and I'm thinking, what's missing? Oh yeah. I still want to know how is it possible to own this much junk? We're going through stuff and I'm trying to remember why we even have it. With hubby not working this week, we are putting the time to good use. So progress is being made on that front.

And my folks are coming up this weekend. What fun! At least they can go through more of their junk. I am slightly skert. Nicholas has decided he doesn't want to take crusty the piano with us. While Fred and I are doing the happy dance, at least Fred is as it hurts to much to move, this is my grandmother's piano. My mom's mom. And I get to inform her it's not going to get moved.

I can only hope my weaken state will get some form of pity and she'll spare my life.

Yeah, I didn't think so either but worth a shot. Besides, I'm going to wrap my arm in gauze and have a sling and try to play up the injured part.

I would just dress myself in the chicken suite as that's what I'm feeling but my arm hurts too much. Wish me luck!

Friday, March 16, 2012

The Humble And The Pie

I'm not even sure who had their fare share of that serving either.

It's been interesting.

4 rounds of the chiropractor and 1 rib is being rather stubborn. Can't say I don't have a stubborn bone in my body. Har-de-har-har!

Then again, this isn't surprising anyone. Except me because this is pain on a whole different level where I find myself just whimpering from it. No pain meds takes away the pain. I think I have frostbite on my back from all the ice packs. While it is getting better, it's hard to just have constant pain. I'm not sleeping too well because it's hard to find a position that doesn't hurt. And it sucks because I've had to just sit and not do anything because I can't.

Did I mention this has been a rather crazy busy week? Oh that's right, I haven't been able to blog because sitting at the computer hurts as well.

Long pause as stream of profanity drips off my lips.

What can I say other than not a happy camper right now. We have had some crazy crap going on. Shoulder - owie. And it's my right shoulder and what luck! I'm right handed! So going to do anything hurts really bad. Plus I've had the email to this blog hacked, I've had some weirdos try to friend me on facebook, and auntie flo just came screeching in for a visit.

Some of the humble pie is I can't do squat so the guys are having to step up in a lot of ways. While this is good for them, I find I would rather do it myself. For instance, ironing. Nicholas and Michael love button down shirts. They tend to get a bit irritated with me that I don't get the ironing done right away. House slave doesn't move fast enough for their liking.

Let the pie eating contest begin.

They both had a pile of shirts. I did one shirt as the demo, telling them how and the why and then sat down to talk them threw the rest of the shirts. Oh my freaking gosh! Nicholas didn't want to listen to anything I had to say which was no shock. But then when he had to do it, he found out it was harder than what he thought. Dude's tune changed right quick and said I made it look way too easy. He even said he has a whole new appreciation for me.

He almost had to help me off the floor after that comment.

Michael on the other hand, wouldn't do anything until he had all the steps down and then very methodically attended to each shirt. I was even able to tell him how to do some extra tips that work for me and he did it like a pro. But he took a lot longer to get it done. Nicholas has the speed but Michael has the accuracy.

And then there was Jared, who had nothing to iron. He popped his head in and said, "and that's why you have a woman around to do that for you."

I was going to slipper slap him, but my shoulder hurt too bad and he was able to dodge it when I threw it at him. Little twerp! But later that day he was goofing off around his bed and ended up slamming into it with his face and has a nasty bruise on his cheek. The guys were quick to say paybacks for that comment.

The very next day, his computer dies. The one that has all his school stuff on it. He is overjoyed with happiness while I'm having to scramble to get him to do something. He gets bored way too easy and then he pesters everyone else as a form of entertainment. I thought about duct taping his butt to his bed but I'm pretty sure he would just chew through the restraints.

But just think of the quiet time I could have!

Last week Hubby flew to Houston and passed all his tests. And by passed he got 90s or higher all across the board. So Mr. IV technician had me watch a YouTube clip of how to do step 1 and now I am skert that I are too dumb to own a pencil.

Seriously? Well isn't that special? As if I don't have that feeling on a regular basis as it is but now we have to start listing all the categories as well? This is going to be one long freaking list!

So we got through all that only to have him come home and land back in unemployment. Yippy-skippy. But we have started packing and dude is a genius and just takes smooshing things into boxes to a whole new level of how do you come up with that? Makes my head spin because me? Can't find her way out of a wet paper bag let alone try to pack it.

Oddly enough, we're actually getting excited by packing. Seeings how we have no idea where we are moving too, I'm starting to get concerned that this is a sign of denial. But at least we are feeling the happy. Pretty weird feeling if you ask me.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

On A Totally Different Note....

I am not a fan of the 12 year old stage. I was going through my old blog posts - so old I had to blow the dust off of it. Way back to when the twins were at this age.

Ah yes, that explains all the cussing. Possibly where the eye twitch started as well.

Angst? Times 2? Why yes, yes it was. And the cloud of stupid showed up because I am a firm believer that all males are stupid. Before the guys toss things at me, all females are crazy. Crazy as a loon. Probably driven to that state by some form of stupidness.

So mah baby is now in the throws of angst and stupid, of emotions crazier than my own, and all kinds of resistance to school, soap, and brushes of any kind. Probably in that order too. After reading the angst posts of yore, I am not totally encouraged. In a way, yes, because I NOW know what I'm dealing with. But I also know this is going to take time. Time for him to get over himself but hopefully his brothers have matured that they can back off.

If that fails, I've reminded them how they were at this age and my how fast that shuts them up. If they don't shut up, I read a post and they just look at me sputtering with more angst at how dare I write that about them??? When I told them I could have just gone to therapy and cut our grocery bill in half, the tune was changed and muttering came to a slight pause.

I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid.

But for the record - not a fan of this stage! Past few days haven't been too pleasant with him. And true to form of any baby of any family, he knows how to press buttons and isn't afraid to use it.

If you need me, I will be rocking myself in the corner trying to convince myself that this too shall pass.......................eventually.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Let Me Try To Explain

Guess I should back up an answer a few questions I got. Yeah I know, bitter against my folks was an understatement. So you want to know what has changed?

Prepare to get comfy. I am going to give this the fast, fast version as best as I can.

Okay, I have been taught that when we repent for our sins, the Blood of Jesus wipes out the sin - and it does. I have no doubt that repenting changes things. However, my experience has been that no matter how many times I've repented, the pain is still there, the problem hasn't gone away. I had always heard to just get over it, pretend that those feelings don't exist, and just move on. Which I have tried and usually end up failing miserably.

As my blog has sadly shown.

My cousin had me borrow some teaching tapes and rather than get people's dander up over the person, I'll just give you a highlight and if you are interested about more - you know how to get a hold of me. She does a much better job explaining it and there are little pod casts on the media part of her website that explains a small portion of it.

So she was talking about soul wounds. Ever been through a traumatic experience? Find it hard to just get over it? There are a couple online bible resources like bible-gateway etc and do a bible search on soul wounds. Sin is what causes soul wounds - either we've sinned against ourselves OR someone has sinned against us. 1st off - repent and/or forgive. Unfortunately, I find myself having to do both because that whole unforgiveness thing is a sin.

And the hits just keep on coming.

I've always heard we're to plead the Blood of Jesus as this wipes out the sin factor. BUT I've never heard anyone really say how to get the wound healed. Next we're to apply the Light of Jesus to the wound. Do another bible search on the Light, or Glory Light. Interesting. All right there - never heard it taught. Just as there are elements to communion - juice for the blood and cracker for the body - there is more to Jesus than just the Blood. Not taking anything from it just saying there is more.

Soul wounds can give the demonic realm legal right to torment us. However, get the soul wound healed the demonic has to leave. We don't wrestling with flesh and blood but principalities and rulers of the air.

So regarding my folks - spent a lot of time pleading the Blood of Jesus AND applying the Light of Jesus to the wound. Results? Emotions got healed quickly, I had no problem being around them, was able to bless them, the couple digs that were tossed my way didn't even phase me, and would love to go back and bless them some more.

This? Coming from ME?? I KNOW!!!

It's been interesting to say the least. We've had crazy whack-a-doodle stuff been happening for the last couple weeks. Everything from the truck, to my ribs, to my phone battery died while down in Indiana. Came home in biblical proportion of rain that was supposed to freeze over but thankfully didn't.

The icing on this crazy cake was Thursday. All I can say is thank God I have been doing this to other wounds.

Remember the woman I sent the gift card to? Took the boys to a youth thing and her daughter was the speaker. Found out the night before when I went to get directions. Crap! Times extra crap! I was taking some other kids with us so I couldn't back out. Extra, extra crap!

Sure as I'm sitting here, saw the woman and she saw me. I had no negative emotions towards her verses the wall of venom that was sent back at me was strong enough to blow my hair back! I had wondered if I was really healed and how I would react running into someone who hates my guts. Would I behave? Would I cluck like the chicken I can be, OR would I go all crazy and just cut her down to size? I've been known to do both. So I was surprised that I wasn't feeling anything at all. Thrilled even. But I caught that thought fast and was even willing to go speak to her just to tell her that her daughter did a good job. Thankfully, I was spared doing that because wall-o-venom was not that inviting. But for me to be willing? HUGE!

I was sad, though, that here her daughter had this whole message about loving the unlovable and to go speak to people we normally find annoying. Yet when her eyes met my son's eyes, she completely blew him off. Chance to walk out her message and doesn't back it up. She lost all credibility with him and when he was asked what he thought of her message later - he said exactly that. That's not me poisoning my kid's opinion - that's their own actions not lining up with their words. I told the boys I was sorry they were treated like that simply because of me. He said he weren't surprised by it as that's how she's treated them in the past.

Still.... not cool.

However, if they want to limit themselves with God, they can keep on treating people like crap - that's their problem, not mine.

You can't go through this life without taking hits to your soul. And the wounds don't seem to understand time, nor lessen as it marches on. Jesus can heal it! Jesus heals emotions that are raw, yucky, and painful. I don't know about you, but I got a life to get on with and I don't have time for this junk to be slowing me down.

Like I said - epic.things.going.on.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Did I Say Bumpy?

What I should have said was bend over, grasp ankles firmly, and smooch the tooshie good-bye! This week has been so crazy. Like beyond bizarre and crazy.

Last week got a call that Hubby's truck broke down. Had to go flying out to the middle of no where, get him, and then raced to get the boys to practice on time. It was an ouchie of a payment too. Speaking of ouchie - my arm and shoulder have been in so much pain, I haven't been able to blog anything. Hurt too much to sit at the computer. Thanks to a crazy week, I just went to see the chiropractor today - 2 ribs out of place.


I'm still in a bit of pain and have to go get readjusted next week.

Saturday we got to help out a friend. Always cool. Monday the van needed to get a back drum grounded down or something. Wasn't that expensive and now I can brake without it rattling my teeth out.

Tuesday, I loaded up Jared and went and saw my folks. Took my mom shopping, spent more money than what I was planning but it was actually fun. It really surprised my mom, my dad went on and on....and on, about how I have honored my mother etc.

Still have fingers crossed that they don't know about this blog.

Tell ya - it was a trip. After all the junk, it was really amazing to just be the hand of God. I can say that AFTER the huge wrestling match of surrendering my will, my hurt, my emotions. Seriously going to take me a whole different blog post to try and put it into words. Epic.

Got to see a cousin while down there. She just had a baby girl a couple weeks ago. And now we all take a collective sigh of baby wonderfulness - s-i-g-h! Jared was just smitten with her. He went on and on about how cute she was. Sort of surprised because he's the baby of our clan and I have wondered how well he would have handled it if he weren't the baby. But dude is still gushing over the cuteness of that baby girl. Go figure.

Lots more going on but my arm is starting to throb so I'll have to blog more later.