Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Let Me Try To Explain

Guess I should back up an answer a few questions I got. Yeah I know, bitter against my folks was an understatement. So you want to know what has changed?

Prepare to get comfy. I am going to give this the fast, fast version as best as I can.

Okay, I have been taught that when we repent for our sins, the Blood of Jesus wipes out the sin - and it does. I have no doubt that repenting changes things. However, my experience has been that no matter how many times I've repented, the pain is still there, the problem hasn't gone away. I had always heard to just get over it, pretend that those feelings don't exist, and just move on. Which I have tried and usually end up failing miserably.

As my blog has sadly shown.

My cousin had me borrow some teaching tapes and rather than get people's dander up over the person, I'll just give you a highlight and if you are interested about more - you know how to get a hold of me. She does a much better job explaining it and there are little pod casts on the media part of her website that explains a small portion of it.

So she was talking about soul wounds. Ever been through a traumatic experience? Find it hard to just get over it? There are a couple online bible resources like bible-gateway etc and do a bible search on soul wounds. Sin is what causes soul wounds - either we've sinned against ourselves OR someone has sinned against us. 1st off - repent and/or forgive. Unfortunately, I find myself having to do both because that whole unforgiveness thing is a sin.

And the hits just keep on coming.

I've always heard we're to plead the Blood of Jesus as this wipes out the sin factor. BUT I've never heard anyone really say how to get the wound healed. Next we're to apply the Light of Jesus to the wound. Do another bible search on the Light, or Glory Light. Interesting. All right there - never heard it taught. Just as there are elements to communion - juice for the blood and cracker for the body - there is more to Jesus than just the Blood. Not taking anything from it just saying there is more.

Soul wounds can give the demonic realm legal right to torment us. However, get the soul wound healed the demonic has to leave. We don't wrestling with flesh and blood but principalities and rulers of the air.

So regarding my folks - spent a lot of time pleading the Blood of Jesus AND applying the Light of Jesus to the wound. Results? Emotions got healed quickly, I had no problem being around them, was able to bless them, the couple digs that were tossed my way didn't even phase me, and would love to go back and bless them some more.

This? Coming from ME?? I KNOW!!!

It's been interesting to say the least. We've had crazy whack-a-doodle stuff been happening for the last couple weeks. Everything from the truck, to my ribs, to my phone battery died while down in Indiana. Came home in biblical proportion of rain that was supposed to freeze over but thankfully didn't.

The icing on this crazy cake was Thursday. All I can say is thank God I have been doing this to other wounds.

Remember the woman I sent the gift card to? Took the boys to a youth thing and her daughter was the speaker. Found out the night before when I went to get directions. Crap! Times extra crap! I was taking some other kids with us so I couldn't back out. Extra, extra crap!

Sure as I'm sitting here, saw the woman and she saw me. I had no negative emotions towards her verses the wall of venom that was sent back at me was strong enough to blow my hair back! I had wondered if I was really healed and how I would react running into someone who hates my guts. Would I behave? Would I cluck like the chicken I can be, OR would I go all crazy and just cut her down to size? I've been known to do both. So I was surprised that I wasn't feeling anything at all. Thrilled even. But I caught that thought fast and was even willing to go speak to her just to tell her that her daughter did a good job. Thankfully, I was spared doing that because wall-o-venom was not that inviting. But for me to be willing? HUGE!

I was sad, though, that here her daughter had this whole message about loving the unlovable and to go speak to people we normally find annoying. Yet when her eyes met my son's eyes, she completely blew him off. Chance to walk out her message and doesn't back it up. She lost all credibility with him and when he was asked what he thought of her message later - he said exactly that. That's not me poisoning my kid's opinion - that's their own actions not lining up with their words. I told the boys I was sorry they were treated like that simply because of me. He said he weren't surprised by it as that's how she's treated them in the past.

Still.... not cool.

However, if they want to limit themselves with God, they can keep on treating people like crap - that's their problem, not mine.

You can't go through this life without taking hits to your soul. And the wounds don't seem to understand time, nor lessen as it marches on. Jesus can heal it! Jesus heals emotions that are raw, yucky, and painful. I don't know about you, but I got a life to get on with and I don't have time for this junk to be slowing me down.

Like I said - epic.things.going.on.


Kaye Butler said...

Girl...this so hits home for me too!

Lorraine said...

Awesome!! Totally Awesome!! To God be the Glory!!

Carrie said...

Amen! Preach it, sister.

You're A-OK in my book...=)

jubilee said...

Wow. Just wow.

Seems I may need to be getting into that lesson you were talking about. SIL is up to her old tricks again. Blech.

Joanna said...

Why thank you, thank you very much!

Angela said...

I think "wounds don't seem to understand time" might summarize the last year of my life. It's hard. and it sucks. And people keep telling me that it will get better. it does, right?

Joanna said...

Angela - it does get better so long as you stay focused on getting better. Sadly, I was always focusing on the hurt and the pain. I'm not a sun'll come out type of gal. So it has been a challenge to get over crap.

You've had a beyond crappy year. Your whole world was turned upside down. Lot of hurt, lot of pain, and that doesn't go away in just a few short months. You are determined to keep moving forward and that is half the battle right there. One day at a time, one hurt healed at a time. Don't look at all of it - just one thing at a time.