Thursday, April 26, 2012

Why No, I Have Nothing New To Share

And yes, I'm pissed off about it. So I think I will just bore you to tears with all my randomness.

I thought about titling this rant, "day 17 of total and complete torture" but that would be just too dramatic......even for me.

S-T-I-L-L W-A-I-T-I-N-G

What do you say to people that you are just royally stuck and there really isn't much you can do to speed this process along? Hi. I'm stuck. And I guess no amount of hopping up and down can speed things along.

Ahem

I found a laundry soap mix on Pinterest. I gathered all the materials and forced Hubby to mix it. It did involve shaving of some type of soap, and because dude is an overachiever, he used the tiniest grate part on the grater. I guess he used it because he said it grossed him out to think of shredding it like cheese because we use that part.

And they say I have issues.

Today I finally got to use it on the guys clothes and I am really happy with it. They have sensitive skin and I had to use ALL free. Suppose to be free of everything, including that element that washed out nasty boy odor because their clothes never smelled really clean to me. Plus their room smells and their clothes seem to pick up the odor as well. 

So not going to miss this old house and all it's issues - like being smelly no matter how much I clean it. Nothing like having all your clothes smell old.

Got all their stuff washed and hallelujah, the smell is gone! Now I just have to keep my fingers crossed that there is no reaction to the stuff. I don't think it will because it's borax, two types of baking soda, Oxyclean, and the shaved soap. It was pretty cheap to make and there is a ton of it so nothing like saving money.

In other randomness...

I'm not going to a bridal shower and I guess my cousin and mother are mad at me. And I can't muster any give a flying fig to care about it. It's for a second cousin whom I've only seen twice in her life. Plus I can't say as I'm a fan of her mother so I'm thinking no. And I'm also laughing that they are mad.

I think I have smoothed things over with my MIL. Not totally sure but can you EVER really tell? Hope that makes things a bit better when they come up. Little over a week and my baby will be 13. I feel like throwing a party that I will never have to deal with a 12 year old EVER AGAIN!!

No, seriously. That is reason to celebrate. True story.

I think I've chilled a little bit. I was all anxious about having to move before his birthday. Now that I know it's not going to happen, I can unclench a bit. Makes it reeeally hard to plan things when everything is up in the air.

The guys are almost finished with school. They only have science left. I'm trying to convince them to do a few lessons in their math for next year just to knock some of it out of they way. So far, they aren't buying it. Last few weeks I haven't had them set their alarms. Things have just been really crazy. I've noticed all the guys have seem to be dragging a bit, so the extra sleep has been appreciated.

I have no idea how, but I got a home school magazine in the mail today. I haven't heard of it but I am so very glad I got it. It's called Home School Enrichment and I may have been seen clutching it screaming, "Where were you 5 years ago?!?"  It soooo encouraged me! There were so many good articles in there that it about had me in tears. I don't know why but every time the scripture reference of 2 Tim. 4:7 comes up about "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." I just bawl like a baby. We're wrapping up another year. I can see my finish line. I took it all the way - in spite of all the nay-sayers - I have walked the call, I have kept the faith.

And now I need a tissue because I just snotted myself again.

Friday, April 20, 2012

One Of Those Days....

Where it seems like everything is just going way wrong. Case in point - I had this post all ready to go and then proceeded to forget to hit the publish button. Why? Because my brain decided to give up.

I'm sure the new settings on blogger is not helping with the brain matter having a hissy fit. But I think the real culprit was the digital camera. It did not want to play nicely with the computer. Words were had. Harsh words that really shouldn't be repeated. So I called in reinforcement - Hubby with a hammer talking trash to both the camera and the computer. It was worth a shot because dude was able to get the two to play nice.

It took over half an hour for it to load onto Facebook. Thankfully, Peter the great, as the guys call him, had it linked onto YouTube and was a much nicer quality. Besides we were sort of stuck in the mosh pit, off to the the side. Not really but there was a lot of hopping around and try recording around people doing that. Fred is still demanding some sort of award for his efforts. 

Is it wrong I told him not to hold his breath?

So in the middle of all this technology woes, we have something happen that is still just making me shake my head of you have got to be kidding me, tossed in with a good deal of "curse you aquascum".

Next door neighbor was in the process of taking a big walnut tree down in the back. While the squirrels have been in mourning over their food source, we were happy with this decision. At least until one of the guys backed into our van with his truck. Which this was odd because our van was in our driveway, far away from the tree so no one should have been in our driveway. One of the boys saw it and Hubby had to go outside and deal with it. The guy wasn't convinced he hit it and tried to play off the dent that is now in the back hatch.

But what luck! He didn't have any proof of insurance with him either!

I was sent inside to take a timeout. Apparently I don't play well with others or turn into some she-beast in the presence of stupid. I was only half paying attention as I was too busy trying not to take state champion from the stream of cussing that was flying through my head. I'm still congratulating myself for not saying any of it out loud. 

Progress has been made.

Although, I'm still arguing that smack about being a she-beast because surely Hubs should have died like a thousand times by now. He claims he is immune to my beastly ways. He will rue the day that he said that because I think I may have taken that as a challenge.

What a day to be strung out on Midol and have a slight chocolate hang-over! I may, or may not, have done a slight impersonation of Cruella DeVil. Possibly.

The guy eventually gave us proof of insurance and you know it's a bad sign when you call and they know what customer you are talking about and then start apologizing on his behalf. Going to cost $500 to get it fixed. I posted this on Facebook and everyone seems to think I meant the guy hit our van with a tree because everyone thinks we should get a new van. Highly doubt car insurance will cover a new van. But we can dream.

The only good thing going on lately is since Fred has no work and still waiting on a call back for a new job, he has a lot of nervous energy. So I've made him fold ALL the clothes, clean the kitchen, and just about anything else I can come up with so we don't smack him upside the head from all his pacing. It's bad enough I have to do this with the 12 yr old, but to now have to come up with stuff to keep the man busy is just taking a whole new low.

Think I will keep this lonely bag of chocolate company.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Just Wow!

I am still blown away over the weekend. Epic awesomeness!

I also think this is a whole new domain for me of watching all my kids' hard work pull together and I'm the one sitting there holding my breath. I seriously don't know who was more anxious - them or me.

I got up and made them a big breakfast, packed their lunches, and their dad drove them to the church. And then I spent the rest of the day just praying for them and everyone involved.

We were waiting for my folks so we didn't get there right at the beginning. We arrived shortly before session 2 and the guys weren't going to take the stage until session 3. But when they did....WOW! Just wow!! God so showed up!

It was such a huge blessing for me - the loan mom who sat through all the practices - to see the whole band come together and just rocked it! They were all so nervous setting up and I'm sitting there just praying for them all. And when it was time to go - everything just faded away and they all hit it.

Then the crowd went nuts! We were sitting in the area with most of the kids but everyone was hopping and hooting. Was close to a mosh pit as a Christian church would allow. It was funny because Michael started off the first song and when everyone let out a whoop, his face was all okay then and amped it up. Awesome! Nicholas did some mad piano skills and rocked out his song. He went way out of his shell and took charge of it and it was wonderful to experience and watch.

God is so good!!

It was so cute because after they were done, people were coming up to them and just telling them what a good job they did and how they really felt the presence of God. I had a lot of parents come up to me to say what a great job they did and couldn't wait for the boys to be in the advance band.

Yeah, about that.

Sort of a kill-joy to say that we are moving soon and won't be able to.

God had to remind me that He was the one that set it up for them to experience this and could easily do it again at the next place. How He puts up with me is such a mystery!

Especially because in the middle of all this, He had told me to get my Dad a GPS. Can I put a pause in this to just say I didn't want to do it times 10? I had a harder time doing this than taking my mom shopping. It was brutal. On top of it - money has been tight. We are looking at a major relocation and that costs money. Every since Hubs came back from Houston, he's been on unemployment. Feels like we are doing everything we can and just getting pummeled.

And I don't know why but every.single.time I've had to do one of these weird God missions everything goes wrong during the day and Hubby and I end up in huge epic fights. We clear the air by the next day but the entire day is just brutal to go through. I've been begging God no more people cuz I don't think I can handle any more of this. I'm at 4 people who I have NOT wanted to do this with every fiber of my being.

Can't say I have reaped great peace and joy. I feel bloody, beat up, and bruised. BUT - I know I am doing the right thing and my Heavenly Father is really pleased. So it's costing me money, and some of my pride - I have a feeling I need a check up from the neck up regarding both.

Some day obedience just sucks!

My Dad was over the moon happy. No joke. He was like a little kid at Christmas. He even called me from the road just to tell me how cool it is. This morning I got an email telling me how blessed I am for being obedient and I'm going to reap great rewards in heaven.

I think I am still slightly pouting.

But I can say the weekend with all it's trials, it's ups and downs, was incredible to experience. So proud of my boys, so happy for them. And I gave them a few days off so we can recover!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Oh My Stars!

How has this week flown by and dragged painfully slow all at the same time??

Hubby is waiting for a call back. Everything is sounding real good just have to wait for higher ups to approve. Please tell me you remember how much I loathe waiting? And I only say that because we've been stuck in waiting limbo land for like 3 years. Oh happy day! Only not.

The guys got through the last of their practice. Final night will be Saturday. I'm not sure who is more nervous, them or me. We keep telling them to relax, they will be fine. Then we start to freak out about the next few weeks only to have one of them to remind us to relax, we'll be fine.

Oh irony, I hate you.

But I am so, so proud of them. They did really great. They both had a final project that they had to sing in front of their band-mates. Both did good and proud momma had a stupid happy grin on her face the whole time. Except when she found out that it was too dark to record it or take pictures of it. The guys were extremely happy about this turn of events. Hoping we have better success Saturday.

Nicholas totally cracked me up though. You know how you hold up your hand and pretend to write on it with an imaginary pen to make a note? He saw me do that and said that is so old school and proceeded to text on his palm. Had me in stitches.

My folks will be here for the weekend. Send chocolate and sympathy. My MIL is still mad at me and for some reason isn't speaking to me. Not my fault they can't behave themselves around each other. I am constantly amazed how people A LOT OLDER than me can still behave and reason like a bunch of toddlers.

Yessirybob, just gonna be a wonderful few weeks of wondering why I didn't toss myself off a cliff years ago type scenarios around here.

Hold me.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Who Owns All This Junk Anyway?

Hubby dear, I think, is trying to compete with the Energizer Bunny. There hasn't been much work for him lately so we have been packing, which is good as it's needed. But oh my word! The amount of junk!

Thankfully, we are leaving A LOT of crap behind. Sadly, we are taking waaay too much pleasure in this whole process. As in every bag of junk that gets tossed into the basement, the harder we are laughing. Surely this is a sign of something, just not sure what. But after all the drama, all the hoops we tried to jump through and getting no where, and how the bank refused to work with us on any level - think it's freaking hilarious that they are going to have one big ol' mess to clean up.

And I'm okay with that. We're not trashing the house. We're not going to vandalize the place but we are so leaving behind the junk.

However, I am so very, very ashamed of the amount of dust bunnies. It's bad! Forget bunny, I'm talking a dust storm. It's mainly our bedrooms. No wonder a few people have some nose issues - the house slave who gets stuck doing everything doesn't clean the rooms very well. If my mom saw that....I shudder to think! I find it funny that all the chores I had to do as a kid I tend to fight tooth and nail over. Almost think I have some unresolved issues or something.

Bahahahaaa!!!!

Moving on...

My folks are coming up next weekend for the boys' music thing. I'm so articulate. But really I feel like I am running on fumes. Lots to do, lot of hurry up and wait, lot of unknown, and a lot of moving forward.

But I did manage to anger the parental units on both sides lately. It's like some sort of gift as I can do this without trying. We told my folks that they have that one weekend to go through the last of their stuff and only had two weeks to get it or it's getting left behind. Might call that the harrumph heard around the world.

Then I had to tell the in-laws my folks are coming to the boys' thing and therefore they can't, because both our parents have proved they can't act like adults and put on their happy face for the sake of their grandchildren. I haven't heard another thing from my MIL since. While a part of me is okay with that, the other part of me knows this is going to be ugly next month for J's b-day. Doesn't help that she's posted a few weird comments on her Facebook lately about being very angry with someone. Not sure if it's aimed at me or someone else.

Suddenly that job offer in Texas is sounding kinda nice.

I find it sort of funny but my give-a-damn is so broken, I don't think it's fixable. I've heard this is a symptom that runs in my mother's side of the family that gets worse with age. This could be epic. I'm sort of scared that I get this wild twitch to my eye that says, "Bring it! I have a list of people to cut!!"

I don't even know what that means.

My only comfort is our children will be grown so I won't worry about the fallout harming them. Much. Hubs is so screwed. And I can't muster any sympathy.

Epic.

And speaking of epic - we got our book order for next year's school stuff today. I'm not sure who is more scared - them or me. As it is, they are going to be done with all their school stuff by the end of the month. I'm going to have them start in on a little bit on their math and maybe science to help them get a head start for next year. We'll have to see how much time we have. I don't like all this not knowing stuff! It's hard. Long list of things that have to get done all within days of each other. So this list is just sitting there staring at me aaaand I can't do anything about it yet.

Sigh

Monday, April 2, 2012

What Do You Mean It's A New Month??

Where did February go? Now you're telling me it's March already??? You blink for like...wait, what? April?!? What do you mean it's April? As in April fool's - it's still March? NO?

Dagnabbit.

Could someone hit the pause button? The snooze button? Anything???

Well...while it's been busy, I can't say as I have much to report. Granted, that normally doesn't stop me but since I missed April Fool's Day yesterday, I thought I would clean out my email jokes. Hope it brings a smile to your face.

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that…….

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said “concentrate.”

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left” she turned around and went home.

This is the story of the poor blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She frantically calls a May Day: "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

All of a sudden she hears a voice over the radio saying: "This the tower... I have received your message, and I will talk you through it. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just relax... Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."

"O.K." says the voice from the tower. "Repeat after me... Our Father...Who art in Heaven..."


When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.

A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door
"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No, he went with Mom and Dad."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other,and mumbling to himself.
"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".
The boy thought for a moment...
"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."


An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.
Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night.
The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
Neighbors feared him.
They believed he practiced magic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.
The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.
His wife had a closed casket at the funeral.
After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down. And I know he won't ask for directions."


Story of a Golf Ball and Sand Wedge

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Then the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The man says, 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have a golf ball.'

Man - 'That's nice.'

Boy - 'Want to buy it?'

Man - 'No, thanks.'

Boy - 'My dad's outside.'

Man - 'OK, how much?'

Boy - '$250'

A few weeks later, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - 'Dark in here.'

Man - 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have a sand wedge.

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'

Boy - '$750'

Man - 'Sold.'

A few days later, the boy’s father says to the boy, 'Grab your sand wedge and golf ball, let's go outside and have some short game practice.
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and sand wedge dad.'

The father says, 'What?! How much did you sell them for?'

Boy - '$1,000.'

The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is far more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.'

They go to the church, and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here.'

The priest says, 'Don't start that sh*t with me again. You're in my closet now.'


There was a Scottish painter named Smokey MacGregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Local Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings.

Smokey put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried: "Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke.

"Repaint! Repaint! And thin no more!"




Don't groan TOO loud. ;)